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Logo of Love in the Making

Addicted to Affection

Danella Taylor


The majority of single women today spend a considerable amount of mental time wishing they were living another reality. Trapped in a cycle of trying to find fulfillment in the idea of being loved, the single woman often resorts to accepting and settling into feelings of worthlessness, abandonment or unloveliness as a norm. This session aims to break through those emotional misconceptions, and provide tools for women to find the truest sense of freedom and ultimate satisfaction in Christ Jesus. 




  • April 21, 2018
    3:00 PM
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Had a kind and loving and gracious and Heavenly Father I am so thankful for bringing us here at this time I'm thankful father for this opportunity that we have to study your word to talk with each other and to allow you to reason with our hearts and I pray that this morning this afternoon rather that you will send your Holy Spirit to be with us Father in all of these things we desperately need the power of your Holy Spirit and we want to be able to see this subject objectively and we want to be able to yield a whole self to you and this is not going to be possible father without your spirit so I ask that your spirit will rest of this. And that you will be with me as you speak through me the things that you have shared with me to all my precious sisters here in the name of Jesus we pray Amen. Right good afternoon. I'm excited about being here and I'll tell you why I recently went through a mini paradigm shift myself end of last year we had a really amazing time in the state of Michigan we did something called the company of work oath and while I was there what happened was my life was changed I really thought that I was going there to you know how to and Hyatt's the experience of the students that were with me and different things like that but what ended up happening was God broke my heart and really molded me and it was it was a really fantastic experience I'm telling you that because. Probably up until that point I would have been able to be really open and honest. About these different topics not just this topic of single dissatisfied but just in life I was a person that was quite. Reserved although you wouldn't necessarily be able to tell that from associating with me but there were just things that you would never have been able to get to so I was able to just lock myself down like that and God show me clearly that you know being locked down is not his. It's not his idea he wants us to be able to be open and honest so for those of you don't know me my name is in there little yellow I'm originally from England my accent is not that strong not because I've been in this country for a while I transitioning at this moment from ministry I work at meat ministry and we're about to set up a new ministry in Kentucky called 5 So anybody that wants to know anything about practical apprenticeship training for soul winning come and see me afterwards that's that's what I was all about and. And I'm just is just a blessing to be able to speak about this topic today OK so I'm single and satisfied. When they 1st told me about this title. There's a secret here when they 1st told me about this title I thought that's really interesting because the majority of Earth is everybody here is single it's OK if you're not if you're not it's it's 5. But the majority of us single women I think at least I'm going to speak I'm going to really speak from my experience and I hope that you can resonate with me I hope that we can have some dialogue I hope that will connect him and. At least in my experience I have found that it's very easy to say I'm start this fire and really be feeling and experiencing something else does anybody else concur with that OK good I see I see nodding heads and that's because it's almost like we don't want to come across as not being satisfied so it's not OK for anybody to see anything else right so I'm single but I don't want to come across like I'm pining I don't want to come across like I'm lonely I don't want to come across I need men so all of us that we are things are going on in our minds and so we end up to train something that is not. It's not. Real ally 1 US by God's grace by the end of the session or not even by the end of the session at least by the end of the session and then when you go and have some you know how when to fall 13 can we be a failure a man by the end of that that we can get past that that for sired of. Pretending and just be real and be really fulfilled in who we are human Now the people over there can you see the screen a little bit I don't mind if you want to take some chairs really quickly and put them over here in this corner like you might be able to squeeze some in that wall. I don't want you to not be able to see what's happening so we're talking today 2 sessions Part 1 is addicted to affection OK that's what we're talking about for this session addicted with affection it's going to wait til the lovely sisters pass by. A man addicted to affection and. Praise the Lord. Brother Caleb spent all his hard time setting everything up just perfectly. In. Him being way used in this society where we are told. That you need to be connected with somebody else in order to feel fulfilled. Oftentimes what happens is we go from infatuation to infatuation Does anybody know what I'm talking about and it almost feels like if you're not your mind is a focused on somebody that you feel kind of empty can you visit with that now if you can't that's fine if you can that's great and if you're kind of in the aisle and pray just pray let let's really love all pray together seriously that the spirit can can we talk to us at this moment time because it's so important for us to be honest with ourselves right now like it's really important in order to get over anything like the 1st up is actually knowing what we're getting over right the 1st of the middle Hello my name of the man I'm addicted to action OK. But by God's grace we can overcome so the 1st thing is that God wants you to be happy all right he longs for you to be happy no do you think that the devil wants you to be happy the devil doesn't want for you to experience the happiness that is found in Jesus Christ but God wants you to be happy and so the things that God has given us to experience true satisfaction are the very things that the devil is going to try his best to barricade us from to block our minds or to deceive us from so that's something to keep him in focus as we go through this or just as you analyze your own life. That what the majority is doing is of the world and that means what the majority is doing is not going to bring me the greater satisfaction and so we go through life as young ladies and. We are in a dark place we are here. For behold Let's read this together for behold the darkness sharp cover the earth and growth darkness the people all right so this is where we are. In this in this moment in history when in a stage of darkness our minds are dark and our hearts are darkened because the devil doesn't want to experience the light and saw the you know the darkness has been coming out from the ages is now really being compounded on us at this moment in time and so it says we grope for the wall like the blind and we grope as if we had no eyes we stumble at noonday as in the night Chapter $59.00 verse 10 so this is where we are we are looking for searching for this reality we're searching for something better than the darkness that we experience without being fully set free from Christ right is that is that kind of can you resonate with what I'm saying. And. God wants us to be happy he sees us in this dark and stay kind of groping for and reaching for the things that we think is going to make a satisfy the things that we think is going to fall for us and the Lord is desperately wanting his children his daughters you have thought that he meant desperately wanting us to be in an experience of light and happiness and fulfillment and not in this experience of darkness of the devil and he would do anything to keep us away and the reason why we hear 1 of the main reasons is that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it and so we're in this state of darkness not only are we in the state of darkness but you are being lied to OK you are being lied to chronically across the board so the 1st thing I want to really get into our mind is that we're being lied to there are some things that we need to get out of our minds and understand that that was just a deception of the devil OK So Hollywood is lying to you all right Hollywood is definitely lying to you and so we have all of these night movies and we have all of these television programs and and really showing us that what we need to experience is fulfillment is that idea of romance and companionship and you watch those movies and you get this nice warm fuzzy feeling at the end of it is not true and this is like oh if only I could be experiencing I too would be happy Hollywood is lying to you and they tell us that this happens from a young age so children now are like you know $345.00 holding hands like oh and it's so cute and the world loves young love and it's just so nice and it's in it's engrained in our minds from childhood but we're being lied to and the worst thing about it is that we're told that they all live what happily ever after right but how many happily ever after do you see reality. Like hardly any. Right specially in Hollywood bad right so even Hollywood itself you know is in a state of deception so they're not living happily ever after because there's no way you can be under the devil's plan and living happily ever after like that's impossible but that's what we're being told and thought we have this warm fuzzy feeling about this 1 day fantastic moment that's going to happen so us OK we're being lied to social media is lying to you all right social media I'm just going to show you some things that. That I have found as I was searching through it so this whole idea of being single social media either put chains or as like this this a cool idea you know I'm independent I don't need I'm doing right or this lonesome idea of I can't believe it. I need somebody I can take this life OK So single until I know it's real right until I know the real thing is coming like I'm going to remain single or I'm single by nor people like him take it OK So this is these defense mechanisms mechanisms are now coming up because people are being hurt and this experience of being single if they just don't know what to make of it keep calm and stay single OK almost scared of making a real commitment because what does that look like it looks like a heart sick most of the time. Don't touch me right this this is social media is lying to us society is lying to you we hate. This is no i'm not single I'm in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future OK So this is it right this this is it this is the whole paradigm it's coming it's coming and that's what society is telling you don't work you know you go to your relative powerful your family's house you find as I do you are you are you in a relationship. Do you have a boyfriend don't you think he's cute like everybody is trying to get you into this you know. Everybody's trying to do it all the time society is lying to us and Kay single life is the best life until you get hit by the lonely nights right this is what society is telling us it's nice to be free and independent but really you know there comes a point when you realize you need somebody else. As a self described idealist I never consider myself a single I like to say that I'm in between romances at the moment this is seriously I think we're many of our minds are in between romances or in between an idea of moments and that's where we're living we're not living in the present we're living in the past or so nice what's happening with the future is coming and what what's today is like this idea of singleness we sometimes think we want to disappear but all we really want is to be found now the thing is it's true all we really want is to be found but to be found by a by who society is lying to their baiter you to be fired by the right 10 if only we can find you the thing when you're 35 everything that we need single and ready to mingle OK society is like let's let it go go and find the person of your dreams OK and it's pushed on us are all times. We're being lied to but like I said before mainly your heart is lying to you OK The heart is deceitful above all things not above all things what does that include. What does all things include. And that includes everything you think that includes the devil. Do you think so. Above all things that every think I think sometimes we blame the devil too much our hearts are corrupt. And the devil plays on that all times but our hearts themselves are lying to us and until we really get to grips with that we're going to be going in this forever cycle of listening to the lives of our hearts. And our hearts are responding to the lies are being told us by media by literature by. Our families and friends and society by social media our hearts are responding to it but inside there is a yearning of our heart and that yearning needs to be channeled channeled correctly OK so I'm just going to look at this idea of. Being Yes Come ahead and join us that's fine I'm just going to go have a look at this idea of being single and what it looks like OK And so these are some other words for single 1 only 1 soul LOL solitary isolated by itself are accompanied by LOL or solo right so if you look at just the words single use the other words that come up kind of associated with it and what kind of a connotation to these words how would you say positive or negative kind of negative kind of like dreary. I don't want to be calling people experience OK And so what is happening to us in our severe living right now is that we're in the state of being and it's something that subconsciously we were pending against it we don't really wants it because of all the lies being told to us because of all the lies are hard to telling to us because of the negative connotation that's being put on what it means to be single so we want to blow those Today we want to just get it over and done with we want to see what the Lord really wants to say but carrying a lot carrying on with the idea of being single I'm not addicted to alcohol or drugs I'm addicted to escaping reality OK So oftentimes what happens is we're not living in the present we're not living in WA our current calling is what our current present state of being is we want to escape the reality of we use many different things to escape this reality oftentimes in our imaginations oftentimes in our associations with other people especially with men were trying to grasp reality that is not ours presently but we once it because we want to escape this reality because it has a negative connotation in our minds. This is a question testimonies to ministers. What is the predominating told of your feelings OK you want to ask yourself this question seriously have some heart to heart with a lot of your tastes or your inclinations Where is the main current of your sympathies your What's the next word. Factions your conversation or your desires testimony to ministers ministers page 442 paragraph 1 what is the predominating tone of your feelings and as I started to really allow the Lord to. Search my heart right and actually listen to it and not back away from it. I began to see that the main current of my sympathies in my factions wasn't towards the Lord I wanted it to be and I deceived myself into thinking that I was but if I was really honest with myself my mind would often just be running on the nice friendships that I was having with people not just with men because we grasp for affection from many other sources from our close friends and associates and families we we want to feel that that craving of a void with almost anything and so I saw that if I wasn't being fulfilled in some way like if my phone wasn't dating as I. Feel like abandoned why did nobody contact me today. What happens in my what will happen to my work was it was placed in the wrong place in my mind or why would I feel all of a sudden really happy when I spoke to 1 of my male friends who was you know closer to me than there I thought why did all of the sudden feel like my day is going fine now like really. And and this is the thing because what if we have our hearts a hard time with the Lord. Then he can reveal these things to us and he's going to reveal them to us in a very loving way but oftentimes we brush them aside like no that's not really happening because we wanted to continue because we're scared of the letting go and what the other side looks like and we've really only scared of it because we've never experienced it because the other side of it is so much sweeter. All right so a woman's desire Genesis chapter 3 verse 16 OK. This is after the for in guard talking to other men even telling them the consequences of their choices of yielding over. To you going over the obedience and there are legions to the enemy and so he says to the woman and to the woman he said I will greatly multiply their sorrow and I conception in sorrow that shall bring forth children and than i was our next word that I desire shall be to the husband and he shall rule over the OK Now when God told Adam that the thorns and fists fizzles are going to come from the ground. Who was that to benefit it was to benefit Adam right he said for by sake and that's because now in man's fallen condition. He needed something that was going to challenge him and help him to recognize that he was dependent on guard OK he really needed that women needed that too and so God gave women something very special he gave her now I desired that wasn't really there to begin with it was she didn't have this continual yearning after she was just of us favorite 5 and she did it and if you read in what the Spirit of Prophecy says about. About this verse she talks about the fact. That Eve's was. Because she was the 1st 1 I had transgressed and because she was 1 the head 1st 1 did away from her husband to begin with there was almost like a spirit of independence and it needed to be quelled and so now before where they didn't need to be this hierarchy it had to be put into place now but it was going to be a blessing for Eve because she could always have a desire filled by the person that God was going to point to her life and before that by himself right so this is 1 of the greatest blessings given to 1. But it is grossly misused. And so in the Hebrew the word desire means stretching out after a desire longing or a craving I was going to put the Hebrew word here but time we become pronounce it properly but just look it up beauty. For a stretching out after and husband that word husband actually just means man or male is not interesting now there was only 1 man all male and when God said that and I with her husband right it was translated there was husband. But in woman there is this now not sure pull stretching out to yearning after craving for male figure it's there it's really there and it's OK for it to be there so the 1st thing to recognize is we do have these God given desires it's OK to desire to be married there's nothing wrong with that it's OK Let me stop there continue so there's nothing wrong with that God has given us a desire stretching our reaching out a longing after. However it can be perverted OK So this is continuing now in a woman's desire this is why she's writing a letter to. Brother songs are kind of what his initial is. So volume 2 of the Testament is Page 417 and she's telling this husband that he needs to better understand his wife OK So that's the context. Kind of of this testimony so it says when the higher order of faculties is a rouse in you just talking to the husband when it's aroused in the husband and strengthened by exercise you will better understand the ones of who a woman writes is talk to the husband she's like you really need to exercise this and try to stay into the Lord so you can better understand the once a woman the she goes on to explain the wants of woman you will understand that the soul craves love of a higher purer order. You fail to understand the heart of a woman she is hungering for a deep true elevating love OK So that is the heart of a woman your mean for craving for longing after true love a deep true elevating love love of the right order. So why is saying this when you need to understand that it is an interesting testament you can read it but that's something we need to understand for ourselves that there is something in us that is yearning after. A lot of that can only be fulfilled really through God And so we're going to try to find different ways of satisfying this if it's not satisfied in our creator and so we have legitimate needs OK The Bible talks about God supplying these are dear to my needs so we haven't had to do them in Need To Be Loved Welcome welcome. We have legitimate need to be love we have a legitimate need to be accepted and we have a legitimate need to be affirmed in all of these texts it's God for filling those needs he told us that he loved us with an everlasting love he tells us that it's accepted according to what you have and not according to what you do not have and he tells us that you are called by my name you are mine your form for my glory that's what these texts a germ I 31 second when there's a verse 12 and I was right up to 43 Verse 1 so God wants to and is able to is willing to fully supply every single 1 of our legitimate needs isn't my blessing I praise the Lord Jesus for that I fear that the majority of us are missing out on this fulfillment. I fear that even in my all life. I miss I'm missing it some points are missing it and I 1 thing now you know a best proof of God When he know that we want to believe or so when he really loves when I say Lord I really want you to fulfill every single 1 of my legitimate needs I want you to be my soul fulfillment and that's a true cry of the heart God hears that and he will begin to answer that cry like nothing that you can ever cry cry for nothing else and I nothing else that you can ever experience however what we do is attempt to find. To find this fulfillment in illegitimate ways OK and that is where we have this problem now because we are not in a relationship not fully attached to Christ like we should to be able to be fulfilled with all these needs and so being single then becomes a problem that we need to solve and we start to find in illegitimate fulfillment. In a few different ways OK So there's a principle 1st found in the Bible and that's followed in my through Chapter 19 let go there Matthew Chapter 19. If you can see the scream feel few to try and come and do something to fix that. I don't know if there's any more we will be here for another chance there's another seat right here if you can't see what's on the what's on the screen OK but please be careful of the projector as you stop step this way All right so in Matthew Chapter 19 are we there. Are you following so far in memory is it making sense OK good are we communing with our hearts with the Lord amen Matthew Chapter 19. And this is ironically a chapter dealing with marriage and they ask God all of the they are Jesus sorry or he is God but they asked us all of these questions about divorce and marriage and. He answers and they're basically like wow this is really hard if we can't just leave our wives for nothing like this is a hard saying. Who can bear it right so invest 7 they said to Jesus why why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away and Jesus said to them in verse 8 Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives but from the beginning it was not so let's say that together from the beginning it was not so and so if we want to find out how it was supposed to be God's original intention was for us we need to go where to the beginning does not make sense and so when things look confusing like it was confusing for them like if that's the way it's supposed to be made it that doesn't make any sense and God like the really doesn't make sense because what you're looking at is all the lies a society has told your Because the hardness of your hearts things I had to be allowed to occur but go back to the beginning let's go back to the beginning and understand what God's. Ideal was for so how was it in the beginning OK So Adam there was no other human being on the whole planet. Is not true there was only 1. Nobody out and for God says. About Adam Mrs Peterson prophet page $46.00 among all the creatures that God had made on the earth there was not 1 equal to man and God said it is not good that the man should be alone OK now often times this scripture is used to. Justify the reason why we should be feeling like dejected and lonely inside because we don't have somebody having heard it being used in that way before right like well the Bible says it is not good that we should be alone thought is not my state of being is not a good state of being OK So we want to get rid of that today. God said it is not good that the man should be alone Scuse me. In Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18 now if I say to you. Bring me a bottle of water you can just bring me any bottle right but if I say to you bring me very bottle of water what's your next question going to be. Which 1 because when you put the word bird in front of it it denotes that is talking about something specific so God didn't say it is not good that man should be alone he said is not good for the man should be alone he was you talking about Adam and Eve really only specifically applied to to Adam because he said is not good for the man should be alone and so in it this is just me talking now in the strictest application this conclusion could really only truly apply to Adam if we just look at it like that and really there was nobody else I was ever going to go through Adam's experience there's nobody else who is ever going to be the only human being on the planet but I wasn't going to happen again so God was like you know it's not good. That there should only be 1 human being existing on this earth is not good but the man Adam should be left in this condition that doesn't apply to all of us and had doesn't it doesn't apply to us because we're not the only human beings on this planet. And so when it came to Eve Now God created Eve and he put Adam to sleep right he put Adam's asleep and so when he woke up who did she see she saw God and she wasn't necessarily where there was another human being and when God wants all of us to have the experience he wants all of us to have the experience of understanding that he is the only person that all our affections and focused should. All of our affection should be focused on he wants us to have the experience before we're cognizant and aware of the fact that the affections can be fastened on to other people. In different circumstances unfortunately because I've been lied to so much it doesn't happen so much wall of us but we can be we knew it and the experience can still happen to us and that's the blessing of today or ready for work or a defect free if the absolute last thing that we can still have that perfect contentment with Jesus and so if you found her all in God before she ever met Adam. And that's what we need to find for ourselves OK with guard. Song 84 verse 11 let's go there sometimes to 84 verse 11. Sometimes 84 and verse 11 I was there I still hear pages turning. Human. Sam typed 84 verse 11 it says for the Lord God is a son and shield the load will give grace and glory no good thing will he withhold from them that walk brightly Do you believe the promises of God I mean do you really believe them. Because. How we experience reality determines how much we really believe the promises of God So that's a beautiful promise no with the will he withhold and so God is the 1 to declare if and when it's not good for us to be alone he is the 1 a stickler is not asked like your god is not good for me to be about No I thought that Adam and I have offended to you yet. Until I say that it is good for you to be alone the make sense because what it is saying I promise no good thing when I work with a hold so it is being withheld from us what is it is bad for us right if at this current stage I do not have a lifelong companion I don't want 1 because he's not withholding anything good from me and you know I had away anything that's bad for me and we want we need to try to God with all of our hearts because it is easy for us to say but God I would be so much happier if only I just had somebody else where did we get our for where did we get that notion that we would be happier if only we had somebody else. We got to from the lies being told to us by Hollywood by society by social media by a Hearts but God didn't tell us that he said I will withhold from you know good thing and withholding something from me that currently is not good for you just that truth in and of itself. Should bring a great sense of freedom to us it does to me just the truth in and of itself. That what we are innately longing are after if I don't have it yet I would be miserable if I had it right now just 1 thing way to say Praise Jesus thank you thank you father I don't want something that's not good for me and. I don't know if I'm the only person is room that's experienced heartbreak anybody else anybody else been through you know those situations where it's just like I wish I didn't have to cry or to fall on my stomach was going to fall out right I don't want to go through that I'm God's watching like you know my child you don't have to go through that I've never want you to experience that but will you trust me will you trust me that what I am withholding from you is not good for you and unfortunately I had to go through a few of those processes before I realized I go and how we purchased you clearly right for Lucian is not working clearly. So praise the Lord that your creator cannot lie. He cannot lie and all the lies I was going on around us in society the Bible tells us that God cannot lie and so some 73 verse 25. Let's read this 1 together actually it's very precious to me it says oh if you can see it or if you turns in your bible Sam 73 verse 25 he says Whom have I in heaven but the and there is none upon that I desire besides the I want to ask your question is this true in your experience now you don't have to answer me that but you want to have a conversation about about that with God you once are ask Him Lord is there someone that I desire more than you. Is there some thing that I desire more than you. Is that true in my experience. And I ask the Lord to help you to be honest because when I honestly said to God you know our Lord I won him more than I want you that doesn't sound like in fact it doesn't feel nice to admit that I had a friend once who told me sometimes in my seasons of self-examination I tell things to God that I don't want to tell to myself I mean it's true sometimes you just you just go through this admitting that you know a lot let me tell you yeah that is the reason why I did that I was OK That's true OK All right we're done with it but I'll leave those trying to be open and honest with God because until then we can't give it to him for him to change it right if we're like you know a lot of things fine you're the what you're the ultimate 1 I desire and he's just not so. There is not upon the earth I desire beside the now 1st as alone eons chapter 5 in verse 24 says faithful is he who is called you to him who also will do it OK. Which is the same as a promise found in Christ of a letter as are all his biddings are enabling the same thing so if God said something in the very fact that he said it he has given you the possibility to have that So this is why this promise is so precious to me because it says there is not upon the earth that I desire beside be and so I say Lord you know there are quite a few people that I desire right now more than you but your fav for if you've called me to this reality you also do it in me so I'm going to pray through this promise of the Lord for feel in me the reality that there is none upon the earth I desire beside me and you think God can be faithful in doing that yes he will you know the Bible where it says. The light yourself of the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart when he says that oftentimes is grossly misapplied my lord I desire. This give me the desire you know God said I'm going to give you the very things you should desire I'm going to teach you how to desire I'm going to give you the desires themselves that way then the things that you are desiring other things that I would desire for you when you allow me to change the desires of your heart does that make sense and that that is just really taking God His word and then living through that reality when we realize OK what I have this desperate longing for this person or for this experience help me use your faith for you've called me to this you're going to do it anymore please I pray help this to be a reality in my life and he will do it because he's before it takes trust. God even gives it the gift of trust him and OK so the true those you're not really single or that's the other truth OK So we've gone through this whole negative connotation of being single but now let's put our minds in a place where God really wants our minds to be OK. This is our is our chapter 54 and verse 5. What a beautiful verse right for the i make it is dying husband the lot of holes is his name and then we deem are the Holy 1 of Israel the God of the whole earth shall he be called. God gives us associations overlay ships in life not to be the be all and end all for formal but to teach us something about his relationship with us OK. Everything is about learning more about the character of God That's actually life itself that's life God is Love and He created so that others could experience love that's all and love gives And so in everything God is like how can I teach the more about this beautiful the beauty of love itself how can we learn it how can experience it so he gives us precious things in life to teach us that and 1 of the main things is those associations that he gives us between our families our friends and even in the marital relationship. In so what God really wants us to understand is I am your husband what you're experiencing with the person whoever you finally will get married to if you're called to be married everybody is. All that will be is a reflection of what we've had all this time that's all so you really need to have a 1st because we're not going to know how to treat or how to. Associate with her how to truly love somebody else until we've understood what he means for my Make her to be my husband now if I have a husband I'm going to act differently to other men is much too well I should anyway. And so if my mindset is I not a vailable then this continual long after something. Can be quelled when it's superseded by is fulfilled by my husband I have in God I can completely fulfilled by Him. I I talk to him about everything you know I'll be relationships and I will literally pick up the phone and just talk to my boyfriend about everything just random stuff how does believe in the floor in the making is that he made no sense right but you know what it is a deception of the continual communication that we need to have with God That's all the devils doing deceiving us like Disney feel nice but it would be so much more real if we were having a continual conversation with God like oh thank you so much for the relief on the floor that's teaching you something about your salvation it's teaching me that as the leaves fall from the tree and same create cause them to for you've made them beautiful color they could have just been black and white it but they're not they're like our engineer thank you so much for telling me something about your messy Well lot a butterfly like due to having this conversation with him you know and we. All walks and we are so lowly God I'm right here. Like I'm and never went anywhere right. What he really of the lonely. Repose we have in these continual communion but we don't have it yet so we feel lonely because we think we should be having it with somebody else when our husband truly has been he never left us now this is important because Christ was he married if in order to fulfill the purpose of our creation we needed to be married then Christ would have been married does not make sense. So the purpose of our creation is not in being united with somebody else in the marriage relationship but that's not the purpose for why we create it in order to reflect God's character fully We don't need to be married. Because Jesus did it perfectly and he was never married and so Jesus in John a verse 29 and he that sent me is with me the father has not left me alone for I do always those things that please him so what Jesus had was a continual communion with his father he understood the experience of being so bond to 2 his heavenly father that he never thought alone the father has never left me alone. And I do always all things that please him so what's up almost in Christ mind is how do I please the person who is with me all the time and. The devil deceives us into wanting to put that pleasing firm with the into a relationship those who have I do want to go and someone I just want to give them hope of my affection I do for the mower start. Being lied to you were being what. You really live through via your own heart actually everything else. But when we have this experience like the father has never left me alone I want to do everything possible to please God and we love God and please him really by the way that we treat each other right and so I was going to put it at the end of this presentation but it wouldn't allow for it so I'm just going to talk about that in seeking for how can I make somebody else happy or joyful what kind tokens of affections can I do for my. The people around me for my fellow sisters for my associates what what can I do to bring a smile to people's face what can I do to lift somebody else up because all of those things are what's pleasing to God and what we really want is to see a smile and God's face. Because he will have the remote just because of just because. I was about say is he worth it but this is somewhat of an understatement it doesn't but let's not go there OK All right so your Creator. Will not lie some 770 verse 23 Nevertheless I'm continually with the the household and me by my right hand you know. I don't want these things to be cliches or to be. How can we make them in reality I'm going to go into a little bit more practical practicalities but even now if you're listening I ask yourself how can I make this a reality right 1st of all the most important thing is assuming you have a moment go have some heart to heart communication with God like Lord this is what we just presented. A Do I desire somebody more than you show me that I'm trying to please somebody more than trying to please you. Reveal that to me you know help me to see my heart oh lord i'm sorry that wow I didn't I didn't know that was there OK now how can we work home. Not continuing in that vein how is it that I can now turn my faction of the world you know or soul thankful for by the moment presented this morning when you know a blessing I was so thankful for seeing just as practical steps of spending that time and communing with God and really behold in Christ as I've been studying more I've realized that. We talk about behold I talk about beholding Christ and preach about beholding Christ and read about Christ and I'm still not beholding him and I don't know if any of you understand what I'm saying especially somebody that does presentations or you know teachers it's so easy to exemplify these themes and talk about these lofty principles and in our own life still kind of missing it but it's simple like the Gospel is not complicated so it goes back down to you know sometimes I wake up and I'm like Lord I need you I need a picture I need you in my mind I really need that show me today in what I'm going to read today something that I can fix my mind on and what that does is gives me something tangible throughout the day to lay hold on right so that when these thoughts come in of somebody else that I desire or when these longings come in or when these you know the devil is constantly putting things in our mind if you just look that up in the Spirit of Prophecy You're find he literally implant thoughts and so our minds all those thoughts don't come from us and can be repelled but if we have nothing to replace it with is just like a void is like a vacuum and so I had 1 to keep. Keep something precious about Jesus from the beginning of the day and throughout the day meditate on it and after the Times. I'm just putting this in here because it's neither And so oftentimes. At the beginning of our walks of our walk we take baby steps you know the Word of God talks about that it's 1st milk and then it's meat so. At the beginning. You don't look at the full corn in the ear and. I don't have that that's OK There's the blade right there's the blade and then there's the ear and then there's a full cord in the ear and as the blade you can pick you can do something just as simple as picking a story Lord today I'm going to read about Jesus on the lake and read about it experience that go through it all while all of those amazing you were sleeping while the storm was going on I want to be so restful in you that while the storm is going on in my heart I'm just you know calm. Wallowed you rebuke the wind in the waves that means that these things are coming into my life you can rebuke them you promised the disciples that they would get to the other side praise the lord that's a promise that I'm going to get through this and that means then throughout the day when these things come in to bombard me I'm like well the story oh yeah and I'm talking to God about that again here let me let's let's talk over it 1 more time you are sweeping give me the experience I keep it keep something in your mind that's just some baby steps that we can do as we learn more about this continual communion with Christ that make sense. So. Marriage is not the goal of life OK marriage is what. You have to grow. It's not the. You're perfectly fine we are perfectly fine as we are as long as we are. Communing communing with our maker who is a husband OK So some questions do you love God better than anyone else it's a question. What is a why I don't know if it is advances in. Any way you are. 42 paragraph 1. No it anyway OK Anyway somebody can look up and find it real quick do you love God better than anyone else do you are asked this to the Lord and remember your heart your hearts lying to you remember that you can trust your heart OK So in some type to 15 verse 1 and 2 it says Lord who shall abide in my time and I go who should well in my Holy Hill he go walkabout brightly and work of righteousness and speak of the truth where in his heart speak the truth where in his heart this this this whole the whole paradigm shift that God is taking me through the whole way that any of our paradigm shift is going to change is when we learn to speak the truth in our hearts as when we learn to be like. That's what's really going on. I really don't love God as much as I should God help me with that So here are some questions. Your love for that which is human is to be secondary to your love for God The wealth of your affection is to flow forth to him who gave his life for you living for God the Soul sends forth to him its best and highest affections is the greatest outflow of your love toward him who died for you counsels the church paid 126 paragraphs for. The longing for something on which to center our affections reveals the fact that the heart is not centered upon Christ it is not absorbed in his work when women will feed upon the water of life they will have far less sentimental ism and far greater spirituality All right so the longing for something which a sense of our affections she's talking to a woman here who actually wanted to adopt a baby and so she just see the longing for something the poor affections onto as opposed to just pouring our souls into the work that's evidence that the heart is not centered upon Christ but when we see the evidence given to God will stay discouraged like you know that's not God's word to be discouraged he wants us to learn how to speak the truth in our hearts and then say OK Lord how is it that I could have far less sentiment of his I'm a desire to place my affections and different people and far greater spirituality teach me how to feed upon the water of life. The Bible in problem Chapter 13 verse 12 he says that hope deferred make at the heart sick and so we hope for something and if we live in this continual hope of another reality that we're not living in we make ourselves sick at the heart and so many of us are dealing with this doll heart ache of nothingness because we're hoping for a future reality when presently God can give us everything that we desire presently and what the devil doesn't want us to reckon to to Experian. Is that present joy and fulfillment and so he wanted to be heartsick because we're looking forward at holding to something that's not ours currently and hope deferred make her heart sick but God wants to make our hearts whole today Amen so I'm not going to go quickly through 4 mindsets that I just put these together that I inspired it is defining as I've been observing along the way you can see if you fit into any of these or if you're on a modern nation of them or if you're just somebody else that's OK We don't want to take our souls to God and examine our hearts and ask them to examine our hearts OK So the 1st 1 is single and searching OK this is the 1st type of woman single and searching so the single searching woman is dissatisfied with their current stay actively hoping for change and actions reflect their desires so there are people that you might see inclining more towards males or you may see see yourself. Having lots of male associations like keeping count with them or over the phone wanting to be more in like a male Bible study group than a female Bible study group. You know going on walks and why am I just among females expert trade is sometimes the way we dress and it comes out in different ways and if if you thought fit into this category it's none of these are condemnation it's just for us to understand oh maybe that's where I am OK now God can help me from that but we need to see where we are and so singular searching is a woman who is just dissatisfied like I recognize that I'm longing for a companion Lord help that longing to not be satisfied by YOU ARE SO no longer hoping for that. It doesn't mean it's never going to come it just means you know us are here longing you know walking in the chair like when Lord. OK solo and set by the way I have been through every single 1 of these every single 1 of these been right experience solo in step so I'm going to be like Paul I'm like getting married I don't want to get MARTIN Oh it's a lie if it's a laugh about 2 years of I'm never getting married not why why did I say that my heart wasn't there but it's 1 of those defense mechanisms of Thomas are the ones that I'm going to be able to power through this know. So the decision to be single for life adamant against change and trying to convince others of the same why would he want to get married you know. Hard Thing is if we don't need men who we can be independent OK solo and said Now Paul. He did say that it's it's good for people to stay on married and if you read the context of when Paul was talking it was in a time of persecution. So in a time of persecution and tribulation Yeah it's going to kind of difficult. You know you're like fleeing for your life but. In general I'm going on a time of persecution now so we want to understand the context of these things and not be like Paul said you know this better to be single so I'm just going to power through it be let's be real hard to live to ourselves OK OK Next 1 alone so this is somebody that's come to terms with being single and patiently waiting for the person that's coming. And so that means that it's like you know. I'm single and I'm not looking for anything right now I'm just kind of you know I'm all right and we're praying for the right 1 but we're praying for the right 1 OK so. Early you're not really patiently waiting all right but only you really can't know I know God called me to be married but I am I'm patiently waiting for these this type of mindset is manifested in a lot of talk about marriage a lot of talk about the right principles a lot talk about the right wife and a lot of talk about how to be patient no but all of that is just a manifestation of my heart is actually still longing for and 1 thing wishing it was today OK Sometimes these people kind of come off as unapproachable to men because it's. It's like. I'm single and I'm OK and I'm just I'm doing what I'm doing and you're doing it too well because it's really like a facade for what's really happening you know in our hearts. So the last 1 which I pray all of us will get to is free and fulfilled and fulfilled and we are coming to a close friend fulfilled not defined by singleness So actually you know I was thinking about whether you're in a relationship or not it's just not on your mind it's not a blessing I want to be a blessing for him never to be on your mind if you're there prays a lot I'm not going to say I am but I'm going to say the Lord if people are you taking me on a journey and I'm I'm so desirous you know to be just fully filled we've got this type of woman is filled with Jesus I'm not saying the others aren't By the way not saying the others are disconnected from God I'm just saying when you're finally just free and fulfilled. All that will absorb your mind is Jesus and the work and be a heart to heart with him and finishing the work I mean that's like takes up and absorbs the I'm the majority all of your attention I just wanna see the work go forward and the mind is not on marriage these women are surprised by interest would be like What do you mean you're interested. It's not that they're like saying I'm never going to get married but it's just not there and that's what God wants us to be he wants us to be in this place of not saying I'm patiently waiting when you're saying you patiently waiting you really not but when we are just absorbed in the work and now God is like hey let me give you somebody that the 2 of you can be absorbed in the work together and that's going to you know it's going to help the work go forward even faster if that's God's calling for your life at that time but in the meantime you don't need that is not I You need somebody that help the word go forward your whole mind is that an attention is on what is my purpose of creation what has God called me specifically to where is my special place and I want all of you to understand this each 1 of us God created you to show the rest of the universe something about himself the only you can show to the universe. Every single 1 of you there's only 1 of you because of that so when the universe looks for you the light hearted for that's what that piece of God's mind looks like and they're not going to get that from anybody else that's why we're so precious by the way that's why Jesus couldn't you didn't make another 1 you couldn't when he maybe that were you that was that thought that thought was you know he's not going to big toys that were good and so you know. God God's heart really really breaks over he has lost children because US also lost to the universe forever. Pieces of the character of God and then I'm going to see because they were created to reflect that and so when we understand that like you know my purpose I just want to fully reflect to those people around me to the universe at large what it is that God has given to me specifically threshold them about himself. Lord do everything with me possible to fulfill in my life when that happens like everything else is secondary you know it's just true when you set your affections on things above seek 1st the Kingdom of God everything else it's coming with that main thing you know I hold you so if we and are fulfilled I want to read you a quote which is by Elizabeth earlier this is not the Spirit of Prophecy quote 1 of my favorite uninspired authors she says. Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey but even a stage is a gift God may replace it with another gift but the receiver accept his gifts with thanks giving this gift for this day she goes on to say the life of faith is lived 1 day at a time and it has to be lived not always looked forward to as though the real living were around the next corner it is today for which we are responsible God still of tomorrow Amen. I can. Is Alive precious THE WILL NOT to live like the real living is just around the corner I'm finally going to get their lot today is your moment if I were only given today gust of those tomorrow. So I was really want to leave you with 2 more quotes and then we're going to close this session. In fact this is the same quote It is just a 2 part feelings of unrest and homesickness all loneliness maybe for your good your heavenly Father means to teach you to find in him the friendship and love and consolation that will do what satisfy your most and his hopes and desires this is very interesting that sometimes we go through these feelings of loneliness. But to me it's for your good sometimes I know you to go through that so that you will drive you to him because nobody else can satisfy you nobody nobody else can and you can testify to it you who have been in relationships and you know actually then bring that fulfillment it didn't actually then bring that satisfaction it wasn't and then you know what will happen even emptier because now we thought we found and we didn't and now what am I going to do but mark my hopes are all pay man whom you know well. You could never be really happy for you're 34 but in Divis a man you can find the friendship the love and the consolation that will satisfy your most earnest hopes and desires and this is the rest of that quote it says Your only safety and happiness are in making Christ your constant counselor you can be happy in him if you had not another friend in the Y. world Amen. The Lord Jesus OK we're going to close with Psalm not this hour some 1611 you can write that down that talks about in his presence as follows of joy. But I want to I want to end with this text which is silent up to 17 and verse 15 Let's go there together and let's read it together. Some top to 17 and verse 15 when you there say amen. It. Is says as for me I will behold I face in righteousness all together I shall be satisfied when I awake when I like. That is Arch satisfaction. Did was what was present of the day then it makes sense was it helpful didn't ring true to somebody's heart today are there some things that you can practically apply from today yes. I think the main thing is to have a heart to heart communion with God how their father examination have that conversation with him. And he will truly give you the desires of your heart Amen All right we're going to kneel for prayer and take a break before going to the next session the myth of the holy harlot let. Let's pray. Idea Heavenly Father Lord I'm thankful I am so thankful that we can find him You are everything and I desire for myself for all of my sisters here. That that is not a cliche it can become a present reality this moment this moment Lord we can choose to leave behind all those longings and reaching out after that which was never promised to us today. That which we have in our minds because of the lies have been told to us by all around us and even by our own hearts but I'm thankful for the freedom that we can find in your father I'm thankful that we can be happy and you we have not another friend in the wide world and I'm thankful that we are whole person that to be single doesn't mean to be hard we are whole in you and we don't don't need to attach ourselves to anybody else in order to experience that reality we just need to be fully completely and 100 percent attached to you so that you can satisfy all those desires of our hearts and Father I pray for those in this room who are struggling with the. Affection that is being placed on somebody else there's somebody in this room who right now is battling with an affair to ation battling with a relationship that needs to be let go of who is battling with an association that's improper and needs to be cut off and these things father are difficult the difficult to do because we are looking for fulfillment in those people and I pray the Lord at this moment you will help us to take the leap of faith to trust you on the other side there is so much satisfaction in you that we wouldn't even dream of yearning for anything else I pray and I plead Lord that will be everybody's reality from this moment and I thank you you are faithful if you've called us to meet you also in the name of Jesus we bring in. 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