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When You Lose Your First Love

Dee Casper

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Dee Casper

Brand Evangelist, ARtv

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Recorded

  • October 6, 2018
    4:00 PM
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So eat Jesus thank you for this privilege to pray to be able to come into your presence and I just ask that you would bless us one more time today lord with a message that is relevant is pertinent to the needs in this room and I just pray for an extra special measure of your wisdom in your discernment as I tell the story of your faithfulness on my behalf I ask this now in Jesus' name amen So this after his message again isn't titled When you lose your 1st love what I'd like to do is just kind of give a reality check when we say yes to Jesus and embark upon the Christian journey there is no warfare that we're engaging and we live on a battlefield and it's not always easy and there could be times when we make these decisions for Christ that Satan comes against us in ways that we weren't expecting he kind of lays out on the mat and it just it slows us down it could even cripple us and it's hard to know what to do and how to move forward. We can have these moments of difficulty in times when our experience gets dry and in those moments we can be tempted to make compromises to spend less time with God and the sacrifice of our beliefs for acceptance or relief we can find ourselves maybe a watering down our experience not standing so firmly because we just want to break right we're tired of getting beat up or tired of being persecuted tired of going through difficulty we don't want to keep fighting this fight anymore that can happen Satan I believe it's Satan if he cannot get you to talk about this earlier this morning that if he can't deceive you he'll discourage you I believe that one of his favorite tools is to oppress you and to wear you out slowly. He's willing to run a marathon and some of us think that he just wants quick jab boxers I'm not left with that impression he's willing to wear you down and when this happens we can end up making concessions if we're not careful so I'd like to discover some brief examples of church history in the kind of movement of my story because I said I'm going to tell it differently this message and I normally do just because the significance of being in Loma Linda so in Revelation Chapter 2 beginning of verse one we a 7th Day Adventist take the believe of interpret ng in time prophecy through the lens of historicism we believe that things are unfolding in a historical sense not everything's in the future everything was in the past and Revelation Chapter 2 in the 7 churches each one of these churches is representing a generation specific generation at a time period throughout church history from the 1st century church revelation to verse one all the way until the current date church Revelation chapter 3 and the Church of lay to see it in Revelation Chapter 2 beginning of verse one listen to this to the end of the Church of emphasis write these sayings says he who holds the 7 stars in his right hand who walks in the midst of the 7 golden lamp stands and then he says I know your what I know your works your labor your patients and that you cannot bear those who are evil and Eve tested those who say that they are apostles and are not and found them a liars and you have persevered and have patience and have labored for my name sake and have not become weary your still doing work religious stuff is still happening verse 4 Nevertheless I have this against you that you've left your 1st love verse 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen and do what repent and do the 1st works or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lamp stand from its place again unless you repent wait a minute but I call for they have works because they saw their words but then he says Go back and do the 1st works here's basically what happened. Ingle ations we're told that it's a fave that works by love right this is the kind of the the premise that God is looking for in our experience but the 1st century church with her a great deal of persecution difficulty and somehow along the way they watched their 1st love and so went from a faith that works by love to just work and that can happen inside of the faith movements Yeah we can shift from this faith that works by love to just work still doing stuff but our hearts aren't in it in the same way it's not that love for Jesus that fuels the work it's just I probably ought to write the interest of I will comment on verse 4 in this way it says that love is the 1st thing to slip when one turns away from God that literally your love for God can diminish while you're still doing things for God. Rights no longer a faith that works by love it's just work verse 7 verse 6 but don't but this you have you hate the deeds of Nicolay Attila's which I also hate and he who has nearly them here with the Spirit says to the churches to him who overcomes I will give to eat of the Tree of Life which is in the midst of the paradise of God So this church starts out of the outpouring of the spirit at Pentecost but as time goes on the persecution heats up there are some big choices that have to be made on how they're going to weather this Paul war and the elders of the Church of F. asis of all places that savage wolves would come in among them after his departure next $20.29 Paul dies in the sixty's right in the mid sixty's and so we lose our 1st love we 1st need to recognize the fact that we do not have the same love in fire that we had at the beginning of our experience we had to deal with that or we're going to come face to face with that reality and acknowledge that and the solution given is for us to sincerely repent for this disconnect and return to our 1st works to pursue that 1st love once again we're told I believe it's in step to Christ but in a place where White talks about how do you find yourself in a kind of a weary to your experience go back to where you left to go back to where you left off go back to the things that you did when you did have that love for him to go to Revelation Chapter 3 to the last church Revelation chapter 3 in verse 14. Make a here for time see into the age of the Church of the lid to see is right these things says the aim in the faithful and true witness the beginning of the creation of God I know your works that sound familiar I know your works that you are neither cold nor hot and I could wish that you were cold or hot a very similar situation lovelessness but just this tepid experience right that fire that zeal isn't there any more so than because you're lukewarm and either cold or hot I will vomit you out of my Mel this type of experience makes him nauseous why because you say that I'm rich have become wealthy and that I have need of nothing I don't need anything I have what I need I'm good to go and you do not know that you are wretched miserable poor blind and naked you do not recognize your true condition I Kelso you therefore to bike for me gold refined in the fire that you may be rich and white garments you may be close in that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed and the you know it your eyes when I said that you may see the big problem here is that we don't actually see that we have a problem we're blind and so God in His great love for us has to rebuke us and open our eyes to the issue at hand love requires action right it's not because he doesn't like you that he's rebuking you it's because he loves you want you to be revived that he has to deal with this he has to open our eyes to our true condition. But thankfully he offers us a solution a 3 fold solution gold tried in the fire a faith that works by love white garments Christ spotless robe or righteousness and thirdly I said have spiritual discernment to recognise our true condition and to see ourselves truly So this particular church that he's speaking to they've got problems right they fall asleep at the wheel to some degree they lost the purpose for why they're there and they're just kind of here right in the same way that it's no longer a faith that works by love it's just work there's religious stuff happening but they're not who intended for them to be they have lost something along the way this deal has watered down and it's to this very people that he does this next thing in Revelation chapter 3 verse 20 people whose experience makes him nauseous but he still loves it right I love you and that's why we have to be honest with you but your spirits troubles me it sickens me and it's that these people that in Revelation chapter 3 in verse 20 it says Behold I stand at the door and Doc and if anyone hears my voice and opens a door I will come in to him and dine with him and he with mean Jesus seems to still feel that there is something of value inside of the home that he does not have access to something about this person's experience that's troubling to him there's still something of enough value that he's standing at the door waiting. And we cover this back during restoration but in the original languages actually continue to live which means that he has been lucky he is knocking now and has no intention of not knocking tomorrow well why would someone stand and not going to door that persistently and less there was something inside of value to them in Him even when we have an experience of May make him not as he still sees something of value in you this is still what he sees and he promises to give us power to change in the Find the revival that we so desperately need He's still here he's not leaving any still willing to bless you and give you what you need to get out of the situation I think is amazing and something that cannot be lost sight of is the fact that this is referring to our precious movement the advent movement and the white as early as 852 1st diagnosed the advent movement as being Laodicea we were not incorporated until 863 this is 8 years after 844. 6 years after 8 years at the age of 44 and sorry I haven't slept much I travel way too much anyway and 863 is what 11 years later to this intervening time and yet she diagnosed the Abbott movement in this condition we have a need of repentance we have a need to acknowledge where we are and our desperate need of Jesus we have to do this we have to recognize this and I find this very interesting in 2010 this is not a political statement so please don't think it was a political statement but in 2010 we elected a new general conference President and there's a new initiative that came with Gerry and Janet Paige being in the ministerial department the revival Reformation committee how many people heard of that revolving operation committee so that particular initiative is through ministerial and Gerry and Janet Paige speaking in the annual Council in 2010 Janice telling a story of how she lost her 1st love how she would do this experience where she was bit she was chart cherishing and harboring bitterness toward someone else and it was killing her experience her faith experience and God wrestles with her God brings her to the point of surrender after a series of years she picks up the phone she calls a person she deals with it and began to find that revival that she so desperately needed but was wrestling to go through the difficult part to get there she's telling the story and white Nelson is sitting in the audience I say audience it sounds like it's a movie theater but he's sitting in the congregation in the in accounts of the little converts building and as Janet page in a powerful testimony beautiful testimony but as she's praying this is what Dwight thinking way to go Jesus' way to work her over glad I don't have any bitterness and then Jesus speaks to Mrs Yeah what about this delight. I want to talk about that Jesus please I don't have bitterness and this begins a process of Jesus wrestling tenaciously with all through the night he does the Monday morning devotion if you go to Vimeo V I M E O dot com and search the phrase Monday devotional you'll see this message it is powerful and amazing the diagnose and shared but as he's preaching he goes on a 2nd chapter 12 go there with me would you. 12 and I need to move on. Chapter 12 and verse 10 speaking of the topic of repentance in the context of revival repentance in the context of revival. Zechariah chapter 12 beginning a verse Ted says that I will pour the House of David on the habits of Jerusalem the spirit of grace and supplication and then they will look on me whom they pierced Yes they will mourn for him as one mourns for his only son and grieve for him as one grieves for a 1st born they each individual 1st of all this is Speaking of 2 classes of people the House of David the leadership on the inhabited Drew Sloan the laity the membership and each of them are going to have to come to an individual sense of accountability for the death of Jesus I killed him I responsible for the death of Jesus and 2 I kept pressing that point home because these distinguished men of the platform here they killed Him Who were they Ted Wilson Mark Foley and I believe Gary Kraus that may be a different message for Gary was in the background of some 3rd person I forget who they were and but he's making the point that we need to come face to face of the fact that we're responsible for the day the Jesus I I individually and it does something it brings a soul crushing repentance and leads to revival and when we reach that point a recognition of our individual responsibility Zechariah chapter 13 in verse one happens and in that day a fountain shall be open for the House of David for the leadership in the hands of Drusilla I'm the membership for sin and for uncleanness and this is where they get the words of that beloved him there is a fountain filled with blood drawn from the manuals veins and sinners plunge beneath that blood lose all their guilty stings when we recognize our desperate need of Jesus that our sins have crucified Jesus it awakens us to our desperate need to be cleansed in healed by Jesus and a fountain opens for revival in for renewal and he preaches this powerful message on this but then he gets to the end of his message and is kind of this awkward silence and then he says he tells a story of how he was hearing Janet page talking the night before way to go JESUS way to work her over glad I have bitterness and this isn't Jesus told me about what about this and I want to deal with it. It takes him a moment he composes him self in the Dwight Nelson confesses before the entire in you will Council to I've been wrestling with personal feelings of in ve towards Mark Finley for years more clearly on the platform more gets up walks over they hug each other Mark tells me he loves them and it's amazing testimony of Dwight realizing I've got to give these things to Jesus now is not the time to be holding on to bitterness to envy to jealousy to unforgiveness I've got to deal with this right if I want to get access to this Felton filled with blood to be Clint if I want really to have this experience a revival and rejuvenation my experience I got to go all in and I haven't been I've been cherishing these feelings for a use it was a powerful testimony I believe that God is trying to get that the tension of us because what even mentions us in the sermon we can talk about revival to we're blue in the face but it doesn't look like me owning the death of Jesus or wasted our time then if we don't come face to face with our responsibility for the death of Jesus and repent of our sins we're not going to find revival and until we choose to martyr our pride and reconcile their differences it's not going to happen what do you think the disciples were doing for 10 days in the upper room dealing with stuff that matter searching their own hearts repenting of their sins and reconcile their differences one with another and this is what's a prerequisite for us to find revival and you don't in such an amazing way and as you go Chapter 36 and Romans 24 allude to this that you're going to see your sins in your situation and you're going to loathe yourselves in your own site Romans to force basically according as you go 36 and says that the good disobey God leads to repentance when we see that Jesus is willing to do this for me knowing what I've done to him it does something to the human heart and to the human psyche and it brings about these principles here for revival. And just this amazing amazing testimony couple years later someone is preaching at the annual Council on the topic of Christ Our Righteousness and that we're not going home until we figure this message out and I just see how God is speaking to our churches trying to get our attention we need to repent of our sins adopt the message of God to have and let's take this thing home and then it and I see God at work but even our movement wrestles we can't run from that we can't shirk from that Revelation 3 is talking about us we we have wrestled with this lead to seeing condition now what I'd like to share with the rest of the time here are some lessons that I've been learning since restoration actually began at restoration I mentioned a restoration during the message Don't Forget Where You Came From about my own battle in public ministry with depression discouragement loneliness and radical poverty while traveling around the country and sharing the gospel with people and I didn't even understand the depression part until much later but I had to come face to face the fact that this is this is actually happening in your experience and I had to deal with that and it wasn't like it was this terrible thing that I did whatever but just like I had to acknowledge that this is actually the case and I had to start piecing things together so here's some lessons I'm learning along the way they've been a great blessing to me and getting out of this situation again that messages don't forget where you came from I think it's an Audi verse it's on the restoration Facebook page of step 2 to get that back or exam time to go into all of that one of the things that's been really drawn out to me is the topic of surrender the topic of surrender so with Nic it's a fire in the book of Acts and 1st 3 chapters of The Book of Acts many times we talk about the money side right they said they would give all the God of their money they didn't and they get called on that they literally are struck dead in a moment 1st and then Safira. But the real issue here is not money the real issue is surrender claiming to give all to God will keeping some of our lives back to ourselves and it's deadly and that's the lesson God is trying to teach is right you may not be struck dead in a moment when you're wrestling with this but it leads to spiritual death and this is the point that God is trying to drive home that we're claiming to give all of the god to keeping something back for cells we're losing a blessing and it's delaying our healing and I did not fully understand all the parameters of what I wasn't surrendering to God until I got confronted with the message face to face on this in James chapter former 7000000 ton who used to hearing this that resist the devil and he will flee from you we hear that all the time the problem is that's not the way the verse starts remember hearing someone preach a message on the topic of surrender it's kind of one of the other topics of specialty if you will and they were mentioned that they had this addiction in their life that they just could not get free from it don't matter what they did they kept going back to this intertainment stuff that they just couldn't get away from and it was really really difficult for them and they would even claim this promise resist the devil he will flee from you and so they would say that and they would still fall and that this verse is broken like this this verse doesn't work the Bible like what's the deal. And then they went back and read with the verse actually says you know what it actually says it says submit to God resist the devil and he will flee from you and you recognize that he had not made a full surrender of this area of his life God does not ask you to overcome with your own strength in this situation he's asking you to be willing to receive his strength to deal with it and many times we aren't wanted to because we like it that's why we keep going to it it's our pain pills we're going through stuff in life every diction we have in our experience is us taking to numb pain that we're feeling and this particular addiction happens to be one of our favorite pain pills but the problem is it just leaves you to thirst again as Jesus tells the woman at the well what I have to offer you is vastly better than what you're coming here for and besides this water is Ilija thirst again and you know that we take my water and then you'll never thirst again we have decisions to make those moments of temptation and discouragement and when Satan is trying to pull us off the path there but this guy had to come to terms of the fact that he had not made a complete surrender of this area of his life to God to do what he would please and when he did so you'll never believe it he found strength to resist the devil in the devil fled from him and I had to deal with some of this on my own to go to 1st John chapter 4 it's actually possible. It's kind of scary to think about to some degree it's actually possible to make promises from God more important than the God of the promise and it can get us in trouble because we cling to nation's leaders something that God has promised to give us but it's more important to us than he is and so he can't give it to us yet so we find ourselves clinging more tenaciously God keep your promise God keep your promise any wants to but we have to allow him to be enough for us above all else in him then we're saved to be given this things we're not going make an idol out of it but in 1st John chapter 4 beginning of verse 16 so we're told here. We have know and we have know that and believe the love that God has for us and God is wanting this to be our experience that we would not just have an intellectual knowledge that we would have an experience or knowledge of the love and a belief in that love that God has for us many times we get ourselves in trouble because we don't think that God actually loves us and we don't actually want to believe that because of all the what we've done right we would rather allow shame to define our view of reality then God's view of us through the lens of the Gospel and his belief in us I'm nothing but a fill in the blank I'm an addict I got problems on this and that but we need to know and believe the love that God has for us God is love and Hugh abides in love abides in God and God in Him and love has been perfected among us in those that we may have boldness in the day of judgment because as he is so are we in this world and then it says there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment but he who fears has not been made perfect in love and then we love him why because He 1st loved us we talked about this last night actually but we love Him because He 1st loved us we need to be willing to receive that and stop fighting him and his pursuit of US and its easy and our brokenness and in our shame to reject something that makes so much sense and so when you come to know and believe the love that God has for you and that you find a love awakening in your heart because He 1st loved you the topic of surrender loses all of its legal istic feel it loses all of it because you recognize it he thinks this highly of me and is willing to give this much for me why wouldn't I say yes to him he would never leave me somewhere that I would not choose to go if I knew that he knew I phrase it this way the only things that God requires of us to do are the things that we ourselves would choose to do if we knew what he knew. If we knew what that was doing to us if we knew how it was hindering our experience with him we'd like go over it years ago but because we're believing lies about ourselves and God's love towards us it causes a lot of difficulties it's phrase this way desire of age it's when the soul says Page $324.00 it's a commentary the life of Christ when the soul surrenders itself to Christ a new power takes possession of the new heart a changes wrought which man can never accomplish for himself and it's a supernatural work bringing a supernatural element into human nature the Soul that is yielded to Christ becomes his own fortress which he hold in a revolted world really is vessels of his in this battle that's happening in the world and he intends that no authority shall be known in it but his old There's a sense of jealousy to God's love and it's totally reasonable when you think about what the other side is doing to us through using us like a plow mule Why on earth we find sympathy for someone who's using and abusing us we had this crazy Stockholm syndrome with sin we find sympathy in our captivity and we spurned the love that we could have in Christ it seems non-sensical but it happens all right we wrestle with this at times. A soul thus kept in possession by the heavenly agencies is impregnable to the assaults of see them but unless we do evil ourselves to the control of Christ we shall be dominated by the wicked one and this is what this guy's experience was that he wasn't surrendering this thing to God so he would say resist the devil but he wouldn't flee from it because the topic of surrender was not fully understood or being lived till surrender makes since in response to the gospel it's not legal listed it's just common sense if God is leading me here and he thinks that highly of me of course will go why wouldn't the 1st thing and so I had to kind of come to terms of the fact that there were things that I had not fully surrendered to God that weren't like these massively immoral things but they were my pain pills nonetheless they were more important in my times of need than going to God right those time killers that we had they just kind of suck our our energies away and get us in trouble Mr healing says this many of us paid for 80 many of us many who profess to be Christ followers have an anxious troubled heart because they are afraid to trust themselves with God they're not anxious because they trust God they're anxious because they're afraid to trust him they do not make a complete surrender to Him for they shrink from the consequences that such a surrender may involve We don't even know but we're just sure of the fact that the one thing that we feel that we can't live without He's an income looking forward so I can't go all in because I know he's in the come take this thing off the plate I don't want to deal with that right now right if Jesus is knocking on the door of my heart in the context of surrender maybe whether I'm in the front door of my house but I don't want to go my pantry right now I want to deal with that I don't want to know my closet door to my entertainment chest could just be core beliefs that were cherishing not just externals right not just behavioral things so were afraid of the consequences that such a surrender may involve but Elice they do make the surrender they cannot find what peace. There are many whose hearts are aching under a load of care because they seek to reach the world standard we're exhausted not because we're trying to reach God standard mean times we're exhausted because we're trying to reach the world standard and let's just be honest you're not going to be good enough for the world and there I lay this right there photoshopping beautiful Hollywood actresses what chance do we feel that we have right or for you men like you can't provide well enough you can't be sensitive enough you can't be strong enough like the world continually tells you that you are not enough and we will sell our souls to try to be enough and then when Jesus comes to us with the appeal that he is enough we say no. Right will sell our souls to try to be good enough for them but we're refused to believe that he is enough for us and that we wrestle we don't have what we need we feel for what God expects he's got that too our Lord desires him to lay aside this yoke of bondage We've got his yoke is heavy the world joke he invites them to accept his yoke and he says my yoke is easy and my burden is light worry is blind and cannot discern the future but Jesus sees the in from the beginning and in how many difficulties in every difficulty he has his way prepared to bring relief in every difficult situation you have Jesus already has a way prepared to bring relief and how many good things as he would hold from those that walk uprightly no good thing does he withhold from those who walk upright only our heavenly Father has a 1000 ways to provide for us of which we know how much nothing and those who accept the one principle of making the service of God supreme will find perplexities vanish in the plain path set before their feet sometimes are wrestling with knowing what God wants because we're afraid of what God wants so we don't get the answers and then we think God won't tell me what is Willis I don't want to know what His will is so he's being a gentleman. Well say God tell me what your real is whatever you want but in the back of my were saying but I really don't want to deal with this don't ask for that and so God is of having to honor the prayer of our heart instead of the prayer of a mouse you're been there God take all that I am except for this I really do with this right now I'll do whatever you want I don't feel this right now he has to listen to the prayer of our heart as to the prayer of her mouth because that's what we actually mean that makes sense and so sometimes we don't get the answers were seeking we're seeking to know the will of God because we're kind of afraid of what the answer may be and the true solution to this is to know and believe the love that he has for us a man's that allows those walls of prejudice and fear to come down because perfect love casts out fear. Christ object lessons $159.00 No I would observances can take the place of simple faith and entire enunciate of self but no man can empty himself of self we can only consent for Christ to accomplish the work and then comes the quote that were acquainted with but she gives the parameters before that then the language of the soul will be lowered take my heart for I cannot give it it is the property keep it pure for I cannot keep it for the saved me in spite of myself my weak and Christ like self moley Fashion me and raise me into a pure and holy atmosphere with a rich current of I Love can flow through my soul and it is only at the beginning of that it is not only at the beginning of the Christian life that this renunciation of self was to be made some of us think what surrendered always surrendered right we would not believe a once saved always saved but once surrendered always right look I swear to Jesus when I said yes like a husband tell his wife what I told you I loved you when I married you if anything changes I'll let you know. Right and not that I recommend doing that if you want to stay married but sometimes we had this kind of crazy view that what surrender is only for when I say yes to Jesus is actually the way that you keep those embers of commitment going about what we talked about last night so it's a can it's a continual process at every advanced step heavenward it is to be renewed all our good works are dependent on a power outside of ourselves therefore there needs to be a continual reaching out of heart after God out of the heart after God a continual earnest heart breaking confession of sin and humbling of the soul before him only by constant renunciation of self and dependence on Christ can we walk safely and again none of this feels like legalism when we know and believe the love that God has for us this is where our compass has to be said to true north then surrender makes sense. This actually happened before restoration actually talked about this in the message do you want to be made will you look as I don't have time to cover that but that's been another components help me I'm getting out of this trap with the core beliefs I was believing it's a book called The Hidden half of the Gospel by Paul called nuff seal in the E.F. F. and he is a friend now in a mentor counselor But anyway his stuff is really really helpful All right how many people know this good looking guy super good friend of mine I love him with all of my heart was so glad that we got to do ministry together earlier this year so here's where the vulnerability kicks in and I don't know where to throttle it backs on to try to be vague. To the best of my ability OK so I'm at restoration I run into a situation just before restoration the kind of gets my attention and if you are had this like there's a job offer that comes your way maybe you start to get like this with a hope for healing maybe in a situation something else with the promise of God or not even a promise of the state but something that seems desirable to you but then you just try to disqualify yourself from something that looks like something good could happen to you ever been there looks like something good may come your way and you start making all its cues I could never happen for me that you know that job's out of my league the situation is on my leg there's no way I could get healing whatever it so I found myself a one of those situations so when this room told me I was stupid for thinking that I love them to death or that that's dumb I think was a particular response like why would you say that in the kind of walking through their own situation but then I spoke to the villa about it so I we drove back that night after preaching and he did music and stuff and we're sitting in a rental car in someone's driveway and I tell the bill what's going on and I tell the whole situation is this seems way out of my league like I'm going to stand a chance in this like I knew I should consider such a life option like you know whether the job or whatever is actual If I should consider this this and. Vinda Ville was used by God as an instrument Halladay to speak since into my life and the literally this conversation has radically changed the trajectory of my life I cannot overstate that and so I talked in a villa about it and this is what comes out in the bills Mels he said Brother are going to ask you a question are you giving the desires of your heart to God I thought about it for a 2nd and the immediate thought that comes into my mind is what happens when ever someone calls up the real issue at hand we make excuses it with fig leaves of piety they were done that try to cover yourself with fig leaves of piety so my response was the harsh deceitful above all things and utterly wicked who can know what's right like the desires of my heart don't matter I just want to god wants Yeah but what if God wants to bless you and your disqualifying yourself from being blessed by God because of self-hatred and would innocent brokenness from your past in those areas and so the Ville began to have this conversation with me we started to break this down so and so I kind of thought it through I was like No I'm not giving the desires of my heart to God This depression and radical poverty of discouragement and loneliness and ministry had worn me down so much that I really couldn't see anything good in store for me in those areas where I had been hurt I just couldn't at that stage and the core beliefs in my heart and mind were wrong they were negative they were filled with self-hatred and so when the bill tells me as I told Bill these His brother there's not a single thing I don't tell God not a single thing. The things that I'm afraid of the things I'm excited about he says what I want for my son what I want for my wife for my stepson for the ministry that God give me he says there's not a single thing I don't tell God I tell him everything and then he has the audacity to start quoting Scripture verses right it's dark it's like 10 o'clock at night it's dark Neville isn't he doesn't have sight Neville is a blind man and he starts courting all these Scripture verses and I don't remember all the verses he is I remember one of them but he gave like 3 or 4 I think they were nearly all from the solve so I gave 3 examples for sure the last ones when he used me he grant you according to your heart's desire and fulfill your purpose Psalm 20 verse 4 you've given it his heart's desire and it's not withheld the request of his lips sealed 212 and for sure he used this word on me some 37 a verse for Delight yourself also the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart and I was so convicted because I realized God I'm so sorry like I believe that you love me I believe that you have the power to save me I preach in tears about this all over the country to people begging them to believe the things about them that God believes and to believe that God wants to bless and provide for you but somehow lost the Along the way I lost my 1st love in some of these areas the depression the discouragement head toward me down and I stopped believing that God wanted to bless me in ways like this and I just realize he's so right and God I'm so sorry I've been so wrong and he said Brother I'm not going to tell you what to do but I would strongly encourage you to night to bring these things to Jesus to go to him and to give the desires of your heart to him and I knew Bill was right so I go to the room where I'm staying and I lay for things before God For thinks 1234 so I can tell you what they are. And I lay these things before God and I do this every single day from that day the beginning of April 2018 until today and I kid you not I have witnessed with my own 2 eyes the hand of God working in every single one of those areas every one of them and I thought how on earth I've been so wrong on like I was cutting myself off from the blessings God wanted to give me because I hated myself and because I had broken this and pain from those areas of my life in the past some of them others I just couldn't conceive God do something like that even though I knew he could I was wrestling with believing it but in some 37 verse for it says delight yourself also the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart and remember your POV will go a talk on this and he said that God doesn't mail the blessings to us the blessings come with him and his point was that we're asking the 1st stuff what we really should be asking is for the source of the stuff and for him to be enough for us and when we do that with him comes everything else that you need you need healing you need encouragement right you need provision when you're asking for God to receive God with God comes the things that you need and what it does is it puts us in the right frame of mind there we're not just saying gimme gimme gimme it's I want you I need you and with him comes the things you need to make sense and I believe the principle here is drawn L. that when we actually delight ourselves in God it's safe to give us the desires of our heart because we're going to use them in a way that glorifies him and keeps him at 1st place so when we delight ourselves in the Lord then he can give us the desires of our heart and so I had kind of a twofold problem because for one I wasn't believe in the best things that he wanted to do for me for one and 2 some of those things because there was so much pain and wounded as in the past what you want is healing from your pain. But it's possible to want healing from your pain more than the healer it's possible to desire the healing more than the physician and God wants to heal but God needs us to have our priorities right to ensure that this can be used to fully give glory to Him It may be a promise from God He may want to give this but are always in the right place and mind words I was desperate to be healed more than I was desperate to be his and I had to deal with that I had to surrender that to him and ask him to rearrange my priorities and so that became desired number 5 the desire of my heart is for you to be more important than anything else and I'm praying for the desires of my heart I want you to have the throne in 1st place and those 4 things have turned into 6 things and I see him doing things there just amazing me another situation was a friend of mine posted a quote from this book steps to personal revival now I had heard people tell me about this book multiple times I know it changed quite Nelson's life he's priest on the other people talked about it and I kept hearing about it but I had this problem I am terrible at reading books outside of the Bible is for prophecy like when it comes to my time in prayer my time for exercise my time in the Word of God My time is free of prophecy and all these other things are doing ministry and doing work it's difficult for me to have additional time to read stuff other than the Bible or the Spirit of Prophecy but this person posted a quote that was super relevant to what I was going through into spoke to the heart and I thought all right. Well let me want to go back a 2nd by seeing God work and giving the desires of my heart in certain areas it gave me the courage the willingness to believe the best things about what God wanted to do for me so there were positive changes happening in my mind at the core belief level then I see this quote from this book I remember the quote was to be honest with you but I just felt the spirit convict me go by the book. Little intimidated some better buying books but then I get to the A.B.C. and college Dale the promised land no apologies a little into this place is nice but colors deal has a special place in my heart and I go there and the book is income like a front marquee for $2.00 now you're talking and it's like this big it's not very big either which is even better because it's less intimidating I'm not going to spend a bunch of money on something that I feel like I'm never going to read and so I buy this book for today I buy 2 of them and you know what the books going to be but I buy 2 of them $2.00 all right and as I was reading this book I have this transformational experience that begins again it's called steps a person revival I don't remember how to pronounce the guy's name is a German dude it's kind of this reddish orange book helmet ha Beeld I'm not I'm I think technically I'm German but I know speak German so anyway just go to the B. C. steps a person revival to books good on you all right so I'm in the situation of reading the book and the things that are reading arced there are very similar to things I've heard before but it addresses things in a certain perspective it literally blew my mind I could not believe what I was reading because there were similar to things I talked about but I totally missed these massive connections I'm a go through those texts you know moment but I remember one thing in particular as I'm reading this book it's a Sabbath afternoon I'm parked next to the tennis courts the disc golf course and the other 2 are the reasons why is the promised land of disco of chords course on the college campus as we all should and I get to page 40 I don't even remember what I read but I remember having the heaviest of convictions as I'm reading this book and I even wrote it in my margin this is what it says I don't know how to pray for myself. I committed to a life of intercessory prayer spending multiple hours a day praying for other people and this is basically what my prayer life looked like when it came to me Lord forgive my sins fill me with the cover cover with the blood of Jesus fill me with your Holy Spirit I need wisdom for these issues I need to make in the rest of my time was basically any way I don't really matter what really matters is all of these people and I began a process of just praying for other people the receipt of self-hatred even in my own prayer life and I did not know how to pray for myself I was seeing amazing phenomena miracles in people's lives being changed people being saved marriages having things happen in intercessory prayer but when it came to praying for myself I didn't know how and I didn't even feel like I had a need to pray for myself not because I was also a pious or holy but just the self-hatred had a clipse of my own view of my need and Satan delighted to see it so I'm sure he did show love and have blessing for other people but I did not know that I had walls with untempered Mordor in my own experience because I didn't know how to pray for myself effectively and as I began to read through this book I started to connect some dots for things I hadn't seen before and it was life changing So here's the main things I got out of the book there's way more to it than this but these are the things main things I got out in John Chapter 17 a verse 17 Jesus says sanctify them by your truth your word is truth and I have taught on this when I talk about devotion is that we I ask the question Did Jesus prayers get answered the answer is yes well Jesus prayed that you would be sanctified by God's truth and that His word is truth what's the variable in the equation me enough spending time in the Word of God And so I only looked at this verse in the context of devotions with a massive gaping hole in mean not using the word of God in prayer to fight for myself. Learning how to pray God's word back to him in those areas of core beliefs that were wrong that were hurting me and destroying me Taishan or addictions or weaknesses I had in my experience I wasn't praying the Word of God back to him in these ways simplify them by your truth your word is truth is not just talking about a devotional life is talking about praying the Word of God and I missed it entirely completely missed this while doing public ministry the 2nd and 2nd Peter chapter one this is a an amazing one second Peter chapter one how many people heard the phrase exceedingly great and precious promises and you heard that phrase before I heard a 1000000000 times in the Bible and I know that and I totally missed the entire lesson that all around that freeze in these verses 2nd Peter chapter one beginning of verse 3. And his God's divine power has given us Hell many things all things that pertain to life and godliness through what's a knowledge of him remember that we may know and believe the love that God has for us right so everything we need for life and godliness can be found in a true knowledge and experience all knowledge of God who calls by glory and virtue and by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises that through these through the promises we may be partakers of the divine nature. And that we can escape the corruption is in the world through us literally the Bible says that through the promises of God and a true knowledge of God we can receive the divine nature and overcome the corruption that's in this world through lust and eye and it will give us everything we need for life and godliness and I totally missed it so I wasn't praying the promises of God for me in my experience and in turn was it seeing all the fruit that I could receive I'm not saying I wasn't converted I'm not saying I was a a liar from the pulpit or anything like that that's not my point my point was I wasn't having as rich or deep experience in response to personal prayer particularly in the midst of depression that I could have had because I didn't know and God opened my eyes it is that time of darkness had to rob me of these experiences Isaiah Chapter 55 in verse 11 is another with. Isaiah Chapter 55 in verse 11 Social my word be that goes forth from my mouth it shall not return to be avoided but it shall accomplish what I please and it shall prosper the thing for which I sent it when we claim the promises of God in Scripture in the power of the Word of God It's not always to your tying him to him it's not wasted God is doing things that you don't even see silently imperceptible like we talked about this morning sometimes but I lost sight of these things I was not bringing a fresh these problems before God because I was just qualifying myself in the promises of God because of self-hatred in pain in my experience and hardship in difficulty I got worn down 2nd Chris Chapter 10 says this so I can clear this chapter to. So you can quit this chapter to in verse 3. So you could these 10 verse 3 for though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh for the weapons of our Fort Worth fair are not carnal but they are mighty in God for pulling down strongholds right the weapons that God has in store for us can literally pull down strongholds in our experience like what casting down arguments and every high thing that exultant self against what against the knowledge of God a true knowledge of who God is we need to know and believe these things right a knowledge of God and then this is where to bring every thought captive in the earth every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ those negative thought those those core beliefs that are destroying our experience we need to bring those things captive to the obedience of Christ we can allow same to keep beating us up by saying yeah he's right I am a loser Yeah he's right I don't deserve fill in the blank right we can bring those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ and God wants to have for us and we can tear down the strongholds of those things that exalt themselves above a true knowledge of God and to know and believe the love that he has for us lastly Luke chapter 11 verse 13 this is the main emphasis in this book is that God is desperately wanting to pour out His Spirit upon his people but we're not asking and that God is more willing to give the spirit to his people than a father is to give good gifts to his children and that we need to see our desperate need to be pleading with God for more of His Spirit in our lives for revival we need to be crying out for more of this and this is another thing that God is reminding me of and then there's this amazing quote. From Christ object lessons it's in that book this is what it says in every command and in every promise of the Word of God is the power the very life of God by which the command may be fulfilled and the promise realized. And no one says well you just spellbound right. Ike It's a I already kind of knew this to some degree I believed in the context of righteousness by faith in the fact that the Word of God to everything God asks God is willing to provide I believe that when it comes to even the promises of God in the commands and the promises of God are the power for the promise to be realized and for the command to be fulfilled and so if we're not claiming the promises and bringing them to him it makes sense that we would see this impotence in seeing those things will fold in our experience are we bringing those promises to God and cling to those promises but she continues he who by faith receives the word is receiving the very life and character of God that there are aspects of our growth are we viable and are strengthening that happens through claiming the Word of God in prayer and in reading it and I was losing out on a massive blessing in doing this that happened the beginning of August I started reading the book and I've been seeing God work an additional phase revival my experience by what I've been doing a basically now have a lot to document on my phone filled to Scripture quotes and speed of prophecy quotes that relate to my struggles my faulty core beliefs in the desires of my heart and I pray them back to God every single morning and I'm seeing God do amazing things in response to all of them it's been amazing and so I'm not writing my own commentary I literally copy and paste the worse verbatim in the reference I copy and paste the quote verbatim and paste the reference and I just read off line upon line all these promises that God has made to me every single morning and it's changing my a life because the Word of God has the power to create life were told by the Word of God the universe came into existence so you mean the very word that brought the universe into existence can bring revival in to yours. He can't fulfill the promise isn't yours but it's only going to happen if we put that word into action by claiming and believing these promises and I didn't do that because Satan got me so beat up and so filled with self-hatred guy disqualified myself from the weapons of warfare that God has wanted to use to set me free and I had no idea and was living a beat up experience when I didn't have to but thankfully God opened my eyes to this is being bringing revival into my experience by the grace of God Here's another thing I was wrestling with core beliefs that were true I found myself wrestling with core beliefs that were crippling my ability to believe what God believed about me or wanted for me because those same areas have been broken or it hurt me in the past and so it's difficult to believe anything good can happen for you X. area because you've been hurt in X. area and in short I was not allowing God to get in and do his work of healing in X. area as much as he wanted because I wasn't believing his promises I had surrendered the root structures of what had happened but I had not fully understood the ramifications of the core beliefs that were still hurting me and you with me and those core beliefs can cripple our experience and I had not fully realized that in till I got into a situation 2 different situations actually where the promises of God were leading me to situations that I could not imagine he would do for me because all want to went through those areas and by God putting me in those situations of forcing me to believe them it led me to have to start challenging my core beliefs because God is clearly leading but I'm believing something else and I'm finding myself wrestling myself out of his arms I'm afraid to be blessed by Him. Literally I was afraid to be blessed by God as I thought I didn't deserve it because no one else ever loved me or did these types of things for me in these areas no one else to me just have a favorite this type of job or whatever and I just thought like no way and so I was trying to disqualify myself from the blessings of God because I had core beliefs that were true 2 of them again were the most difficult but once I began to lay this is ours in my heart before Him He started to move away as I had never imagined and it forced me to have to see this and deal with it and again I literally in the midst of seeing those blessings come became distrustful and afraid to be blessed I'm ashamed to admit it but I was afraid to be blessed by God it's amazing what pain can do to the human psyche and what seat in his attacks can do to get us believe things that are hurtful are not helpful and are limiting in our experiences I literally was like Abraham like I was bartering with God God has an amazing blessing you can have a child from your own lineage and my response was look one just let it be the kid I literally was trying to to barter with got I don't deserve this I don't deserve these things these are way out of what I ever could have imagined for me just give me something else I don't deserve something that good so give me let me settle for this with just let me have Ishmael and in turn I was depriving myself of a blessing I'm trying to wiggle my way out of God's blessings and promises while I'm believing these lies it seems so irrational but I was afraid to be blessed by God is because I had seen hatred from those areas of broken this in my life and some of us may be in that situation today in God's asking us to surrender those core beliefs to him that I had a conversation with some friends in Atlanta. And I didn't even know these people I was just staying in their home but I know people that know them are supposed to be staying with another friend but then he gave this lame excuse right he wants me to come creatures church and he gives me this lame excuse that he can stay the whole afternoon and he stayed his house because it's his anniversary. How when I'm just kidding i would do the same thing totally 100 percent ready to stay at his house if they said hey we stay at my friend's house shirt so I go to his friend's house and for whatever reason I just spill my guts to these people about what I'm wrestling with these core beliefs I'm wrestling with how God is blessing and leading but I'm afraid to receive it and I had a conversation with him a couple weeks ago and they reminded me of how beat up and faithless I was when I talked to them like they told me like I can I went through situations discouraging OK but the moment and like they did they told me like we cannot believe who are speaking to you right now this is not how you were speaking we would talk to you months ago like God is obviously doing something in your heart and challenging those beliefs you had because and that conversation with him is what kind of set me free I realize that like here's kind of what God is doing in my life but then they kept trying to explain why I couldn't pursue these different areas and they kind of challenge me on them and it was through that conversation just getting it out there the on my drive home the 2 hour drive home God a really really convicted me and told me son you don't believe me you're limiting my ability to work in your life why why are you separating yourself from these blessings that I've chosen to give you that I want to give you and so when I get to maybe can't we don't we go preach there a couple weeks later after that and I literally had God had this conversation with me. That opened my eyes to something that I had not connected the dots on this entire time I've been doing traveling public ministry for like 3 years I guess been doing ministry for longer than that but like traveling ministry and speaking all these different places and I find myself many times in tears pleading with people to believe the things about them that God believes that God believes in them that God wants to work in their lives and to bless them and provide for them and I was of the mind that I believe the gospel with every ounce of my being I believe that I believe that the problem was I believed in the context of salvation but I was not allowing that grace and goodness of God to permeate areas of my heart where brokenness and rejection and difficulty and other things are taking place and this is literally what God told me and it leveled me he said because I'm going through this process of travel I'm tired. In total honesty I'm tired right I travel by myself I'm going here there all the time I literally through the month of September I had to buy $61.00 way plane tickets because I would fly from where I lived or where I was a new point in time to speaking gauge Monella go from that speaking engagement to another speaking engagement and then I would fly from that place back to where I started now happened twice I did 2 week of prayers in 3 weeks and I had 4 flights during that span that I had to wake up at 2 am because I'm not going to skip my devotions to get on the 6 am flight I'm not going to do that and so having to wake up earlier and do these things and I'm tired I want real food like I'm a health nut Taco Bell was not food and like I'm even wrestling with other fast food like even Chipotle it doesn't really do it for me anymore like I know I may say like I'm speaking blasphemy to some of you right now but just keep listening and just disregard whatever you're hearing if you don't like it like even going to sit down Thai restaurants and other things like I literally just want kale like I just want a bowl with kale sweet potatoes black beans in Keen wall I just want real food that simple That's homemade I'm dying guys because I'm eating whatever I'm offered it places in and a lot of it I need to be careful this is going on all your verse but like I'm eating things that may be technically Vigen But like I want real simple food and I'm not able to lift weights as I want to I'm running again which has been a huge blessing I'll cover that in a moment but like I've lost 7 pounds in the last 5 weeks and as you can tell there's not much of me. And so I'm just wrestling with a lot of the stuff under the getting tired and this is Lou a God told me that I'm coming to the point I kind of like to settle down right put down roots in a place longer term and and do some selective traveling speaking with the rings are important to the school that I'm running and stuff but I'm kind of at the point I need I need to slow down it's easy when you have a zeal and a passion to feel like you see something that isn't being done and if you don't do it will get done. That's James White syndrome and it will lead to an early grave and I got to I've got to deal with this I've got to take better care of myself and so anyway this is literally what God told me in that context I could still tell you I could but the reason why I keep having you travel all over the place and share these same messages and principles with people is because you don't fully believe you keep sharing the same messages and making the same appeal because you have not allowed this to permeate in all of your life you believe the Gospel when it comes to salvation but you won't let it into these areas of pain in your life if you don't believe me and the reason why God has allowed me to keep traveling is because he's trying to get into my head that you don't believe what you're saying fully I'm not lying to people my tears aren't fake I mean what I'm saying but I did not understand how subconsciously in my pain I was not allowing those same messages a trance for me in those areas of brokenness I believe in the context of the Gospel but not here and I didn't know and through this God has been opened my eyes to the fact that Di you don't believe me do you actually want to be made will you keep asking people this question do you in this area will you let me heal you will you let me bless you and will you stop fighting me and I had to come to a point made can't be anymore i just in tears surrendered my fear my pain in myself hatred to God in this area of my life in these 2 areas of my life I'm sorry were of sorry can take it a lot to be well and willing to believe that you actually want to bless me in these ways and I'm not going to wrestle with you and not going to fight you anymore and I'm sorry and I literally felt during this time that God was just wrestling with me like you did with Jacob but instead of Jacob saying I will not let you go into you bless me I literally felt as though God was telling me I'm not going to let you go until you let me bless you. God wouldn't give up on me I keep trying to disqualify myself I keep trying to disqualify myself and God will Weatherly because he was me too much to keep letting me go on in self-hatred in pain he wants me to be fully well and he wouldn't quit and I'm so grateful for that I'm so grateful to God works so hard to convince me to be willing to receive these blessings in these areas of my life. But then I get up in a situation where one of these things I know running into this disappointment that makes no sense like why would God wrestle with me so to nations sleep and break me to believe this and then things seem as though like it's not working as I thought it would it it didn't make any sense to me and I found myself it just level B. and what I ended up doing in the midst of this difficulty was I just learned to cling to this lady God in prayer in ways I had I don't even know if I've done this in my life like this I've been serious and diligent in prayer but I found myself that I just started running again but like I literally the day after that the situation happened I just felt like Forrest Gump like I just have to run I just and I just wanted to run until I couldn't and running has become one of these healthy elements for me to just get it out of my system any pain any frustration any difficulty I don't listen to anything I just run and I've allowed God to be my running partner and I ran 5 miles that night and the thing was like I was it was the worst timing in the history of ever because I literally that next morning after the situation happened I had to present to justify my own hire and this program through the pits of a new conference it was the worst timing ever and so like I wake up and then I don't even sleep that night really some exhausted I don't get to eat for breakfast because I'm eating it was supposed to happen then but there was a going to happen and it did happen so I didn't eat breakfast I had a little bit of lunch and a little bit something else like a cliff bar or something and then when I get done with a date always meeting stuff thankfully I got hired think with a program got approved hallelujah and I get home and I got to run and of running 5 miles that day and a couple days later I end up running 7 miles I've never run this far in my life and as I was running. I talked about this last night that Sebastian Bracks image in one of his sermons. About how when a man when Jesus is in John 14 he's going to prepare a place for us he's talking about a wedding like this is the 1st century wedding context that the man had to go back and build an addition on to his father's house to prepare a place for his bride to come and join him and he makes this kind of application in the context of the 2nd coming it is the 2nd coming but also the context of preparing for marriage and so forth and I remember when I was going when I was running on the 7 mile run this this this lesson of building a house for my wife if you will has ramifications for care to building even for future family ambitions and so forth but I had kind of a multi-faceted view of this phrase this thought of building a house for my wife of preparing my heart for the 2nd coming ensuring I'm committed diligent in this and just for a future whatever and so anyway as I'm running the 7 mile run the thought goes through my mind what are you doing right now and the immediate thought that came into my head was I'm building a house for my wife like I'm not going to keep beating myself up and allowing myself to believe lies and do other things like I'm going to do what it takes to live a lifestyle of recovery coming out of depression I've got to take care of myself I'm a do it takes to prepare my heart for the 2nd coming to prepare my heart for future ambitions this school and other things like I got to do what needs to be done and I just wanted to run and run and run our party to run 10 miles that night if I wanted but I want to hurt my body too early but through that process of a disappointment and something didn't understand I found myself praying with the desperation I don't think I've ever had I went from praying once a day about a certain situation of praying twice a day about this and just pleading the promises of God and literally the next morning after this disappointment happened I get to the point of my prayer time where I claim the promises of God in this area of my life and I literally argued with God and said I want to do this right now. I can't do this right I don't want to do this I don't want to believe it I don't believe something I just can't right now but I did and I ugly cried through the whole thing just a mess cried through the whole thing and it happened every single day twice a day for like 10 straight days of just weeping as I'm laying the promises before God But it taught me such a valuable lesson that looking back at this I literally have been able to praise God in total sincerity for the pain I went through during that time because it taught me how to dig even deeper and to trust God and ways I hadn't before and to believe even when it hurt your going in a situation where it hurt to believe what God said it just cripples you in you describe it and grieve and hurt to believe what God said it taught me lessons on faith that I hadn't learned in years if it all and I could in earnest in sincerity in earnestness and sincerity praise God that that pain came into my life and I says that there will be a time that we look back upon the darkest hour will look back with think fullness upon the darkest hour of our way and I came to better understand that through that season and then other situation came during my birthday. And I had gotten I been reminded us of messages I had heard before were people were praying for wayward children and I learned how to pray with an even deeper earnestness and like one of those moments where it says in the Romans were never like you don't know how to pray because the spirit groans with words that cannot be uttered were like there is just this depth of grief and earnestness in your prayer that you can't even put words to and God then brings that into my experience and I just have found that this is literally like all of this is because there were these initial promises from God in these situations it does seem like they were totally out of out of any realm of possibility for me and God through the promise of blessing in spite of how I felt in areas of brokenness is literally raising me from the dead it's literally changing my life guys like I'm fighting it with an earnestness and prayer that I don't think I've ever had in my life I'm literally closer to God now than before the 4 do 4 then before the Depression came and I can think God for the pain that I've had to go through this situation because I'm not the person I was before and through that depression I came face to face with who I really was through that rock bottom I came to see a lot of the root structures in the brokenness in my life that I had to deal with that now I'm so grateful because he's teaching me again how to build a house for my wife he's teaching me how to prepare for a future where that be on this life or for eternity and stuff that I hadn't dealt with before and didn't even know that I needed to deal with and God in His great mercy is setting me free in ways that I can't even tell you and he's teaching me how to learn how to pray and believe until it hurts God literally has used restoration to reach me twice. Twice the restoration 2004 series that David actually did here was a series I heard later on the Internet but it it was one of the biggest things that brought me into the avenues church hearing those messages and what God did for me through this process of these blessings of these things happening and these things that kind of scared me I was afraid to receive in the pursuit of them all all of these things from what happened in 2004 and now what's happening this year from restoration to now literally God has used restoration to reach me twice he's restarting my life it's changed my life and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this so in closing on I read this quote from a Mr releases 16119078 is not praiseworthy to talk of our weakness and discouragement I'll give you a moment to repent it is not praiseworthy talk of our weakness and discouragement let each one say that I am grieved that I yield to temptation that my prayers are so feeble in my faith so weak I have no excuse to plead for being dwarfed in my religious life but I am see to obtain completeness of character in Christ I have sinned and yet I love Jesus DID YOU KNOW THAT IS possible to be in situations where you fall in sin and still have love for Jesus in your hearts you stumble if you messed up or to still love them I have sinned and yet I love Jesus. I have fallen many times and yet he's reached out his hand to save me I told him all about my mistakes not confessed with shame and sorrow that I've dishonored him and I've looked to the cross have said all this he suffered for me the Holy Spirit has shown me my ingratitude my sin I'm putting Christ to open shame and he who knows no sin has forgiven my sin and He calls me to a higher nobler life and I press on to things that are before when you're going through difficulty to mess up if you fall in the way keep getting up keep claiming the promises that he's made and choose to believe what he says about you even going to change your life with a close one Psalm here in than in one more thought you were done so I went a bit longer they had never shared this before good a solemn chapter 18 of verse 6 God literally in the midst of my grief in my pain told me that I'm going to bring you added this and you're going to tell the story of what I've done for you this is what David talks about all throughout the Psalms I had a need I was hurting and I cried out to God and I have every intention that when God responds to my prayer I will declare publicly what God has done for me you see this thing regularly throughout the songs begin to saw me verse 6 the other one is right down the references it's time to read of the verse 6. In my distress I called upon the Lord and I cried out to my God Any heard my voice from his temple and my cry came before him even to his ears this is my closing point to young people and beloved what ever darkness you may be going through to day God wants you to know that he does hear an answer prayer. I can testify to you today as a man who's been raised from the dead in my experience that God does hear God does care when you're grieving and hurting and don't understand why things aren't happening and it doesn't make any sense I went through years of wondering why the darkness wouldn't leave I kept reading I kept praying I kept preaching I could giving Bible studies but why won't the cloud leave God heard every one of those prayers God saw every one of those tears and he carry say to him they do not go unheard they do not go ignored or neglected there's a God in heaven who hears when you cry and he can change your life and raise you from the dead he can heal those areas of brokenness and rejection and fear and insecurity he literally can set you free we're told are Romans 811 the very spirit that rose Jesus from the dead can bring life to your mortal bodies he can do it I'm seeing it in my own experience I believe in the resurrections from the dead because I've been dead while doing ministry and he didn't give up he didn't stop and you can do the same for you even Let's pray God into heaven I just want to thank you that you care that you do here are cries and Lord I pray that that point has been made clear this afternoon that there is a God in Heaven whose love knows no bounds and Lord that you will not let us go into you let us until we let you bless us. God We need that today and I pray that whatever core beliefs and other battles that we're facing they're hurting us and crippling us I pray that the Gospel of Jesus Christ would shine a light into that darkness in there that you would set us free indeed I just think you so much what you are doing a will for you're going to do each of our lives and I pray that we would believe the promises more fervently that we would be praying the Word of God in those promises with the tenacity that we have not known to date and that we would witness the healing and miraculous power of God that we would witness our own resurrections and that the story of our resurrection can lead to someone else choosing to believe the best things about them that you believe for them as well this is our pleaded a lower get glory out of this story I pray and I think you for saving my life and for raising me from the dead and I ask these things in Jesus name and then.

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