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Overcoming Tribulations in Ministry- Part 2

Dwayne Lemon Alexandra Lemon

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  • September 3, 2018
    10:00 AM

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When I think God for. His wonderful way of reminding us of how much he loves us and we're very privileged to come back for you this morning to tell the other side and we'll certainly call it the brighter side of this journey that the Lord has allowed us to go through over these past couple of years and so as we prepare our hearts to do so. I think we can do it in here I know it was a little bit more difficult in the tent because of all the dust but if we can let's kneel together and let's all pray together our Father in heaven we thank you Lord for the privilege to come together as brothers and sisters and we're very grateful for the purpose of testimonies and how it provides overcoming power Lord I pray that you might truly give Alexandra and I wisdom on how to express the other side of this story of this journey that you have allowed us to go on to bring us to where we are right now we're truly grateful for your amazing love and now Lord we just ask for the ability to articulate it to our brothers and sisters to know that you don't just love us but you love them just the same draws close to your divine heart we pray forgive us of our sins thank you for hearing our prayer for we ask it all in Jesus name Amen you know one of the things that as we were sharing last night of this journey that the Lord put us on and all these different experiences that led us up to the fall of 2016 where our lives changed forever our lives are literally not the same it is not the same we have been impacted for ever but we think god that though it started out very painful it has a better ending all of those experiences that I was going through. And my wife was going through I mean I was the guy probably most physics certainly most physically and psychologically going through this battle but again Alexandra Jared Caleb data we all were suffering no child likes to watch their father suffer and I remember that all of these things happened prior to the knowledge that I needed heart surgery so can you imagine going through anxiety going through depression questioning where is God going through all of these issues getting test after test and that was probably the most annoying part I got tested for everything scans ultrasounds blood work and all of these things and everything kept coming back negative but I knew what I was going through and so finally we set up an appointment with the cardiologist and the whole reason we set up an appointment this is how God was showing his hand was in this all along one year before my seeing the cardiologist we just casually were in Georgia and we have a friend her name is Linda and she worked in the cardiology department and she had a portable echocardiogram system in her house and we went by there and we were all talking and everything and somehow it just randomly came up hey let's take a look at your heart let's just see how you doing now keep in mind I feel fantastic and so I'm thinking you know I'm fine Linda checks out my wife's heart she was great she checks out my heart she says hey you know what your heart really big on the left side and she didn't understand it she was like you know are you going through shortness of breath and she starts asking the common questions I said no I'm fine she said OK she said You look fine just keep an eye on it if you ever see swelling in your ankles or you go through this this and this just you know make sure you go to see the doctor see a cardiologist once a year that's the whole reason why we set it up in 2060. Were it not for that random experience that happened in 2015 I very well may not be alive today so in 2016 I go see the cardiologist and in my mind I'm thinking everything's going to be fine you know I still battling anxiety I'm still battling you know this depression I'm going through all this all these issues but you know I'm keeping it cool as best as I can before this cardiologist and so they go ahead they do the echo and you know I'm looking at that lady trying to read her face but these these Texas really well trained you know they just keep a straight face even if you're borderline Di I mean they just keep a straight face and so I couldn't tell anything so I said I guess I'm fine she looks fine so I guess I'm fine so I go see the cardiologist and that's when he drops the bomb and he says Mr Lemon I want you to look at my screen you see this thing that looks like a broken hockey stick he said that is your mitral valve he said I just don't understand this he says you're only 44 years old why I don't know where you're valve looks like this what if you've gone through where you sick where you this I said I'm fine I have any issues and he said Did you ever have a magic fever and I was like yeah I was like when I was like 8 or 9 years old I had rheumatic fever and he said he said that's it and I'm glad I can make this point of clarification because I must say that I have heard the wins that when I got my surgery in December of 2016 you know people did what people normally do I expected it but you know it did come back to me that people were saying how could brother Lennon get heart surgery isn't he a health performer and you know those type of things came up and they thought I was probably sneaking chicken on the side of eating some burgers on the down low as I was that it had nothing to do with that my lifestyle was on point but the issue was I I got hit when I was a child I wasn't even double digits yet and I certainly didn't know health reform I was in the world and truly of the world but I got hit. And so he said you've got to get open heart surgery and imagine you're going through anxiety imagine you're going through depression imagine you're hearing a voice that's telling you up to 500 or more times in a day you're going to die you're going to die you're going to die every time you pass a graveyard you can't even handle it because now it's like you always see your body being carried I have never gone through anything like this in my life I mean I just couldn't even explain it it was difficult to have a peace of mind and so it is that now after all of that I'm told we're going to have to open the chest and do heart surgery and I asked him I said You mean to tell me you're going to split my chest open you're going to open it yes we're going to do that can I die from that yes you could die you can go to cardiac arrest right in the surgery and I was just like. Just when I thought I couldn't get worse you know so now we've got to gear up for that but the good news is this there were some providences. That began to show us again his hand was already in it because remember randomly in 2015 God was like Who do you think directed Linda to say to you she had echo In other words God sent out was already showing you doing I was preparing you for this and so it is I called my buddy Nate and I said Nate Listen man give me a call back I found out I need heart surgery I need to know if you know anybody who's a good heart surgeon and so he calls me back going why are you talking about heart surgery what's going on and I told him and he said doing this must be Providence I said Why that he said because my best friend happens to be the top mitral valve surgeon in all of California and I said Are you serious and he said Yes I'll go ahead and get you on the phone with him and within 48 hours I was on the phone with Dr Wong Providence after Providence God was showing I got this. Put you on a journey. But I could only understand that I was dying the devil's voice unfortunately was louder than God's Spirit and so I kept thinking that God wanted to kill me I literally got convinced that God was so bothered with me so unhappy with me that he just said I just got to remove you and get you out of the way I was convinced it was God's voice do you know what it's like when you genuinely and sincerely surrender your heart to God you seek to do the best to honor him yes you do fail at times many times but you know Lord I've given myself to you and then to feel that God Himself has turned his back on and he has cast you off and closed out your probation this is literally what's going on in my mind and so as I'm going through this battle I called somebody I needed help and I'm going to tell you right now if any of you have a good Godly mentor in your life you hold on to that person it is a beautiful thing when you could have people in your life that have not only learned from the book the word of God not only learn from the book of nature but they've also learned from the book of experience and God put a man in my life that went through all 3 books it was just a couple years or actually a year before my crisis he had a crisis and it was in relation to his heart his name was Dr Thomas Jackson when I say to you when I call that man dead I said listen it takes a lot for me to call a man dad I said I literally look at you as my father my father's been sleeping in the grave for a few years and I called and I said I need help and I said Dad I need you to be there for me then I'm going through it and I don't understand how to deal with this and he said I will go through this with you and we would talk almost every day. He was so sobering for me it was like every time my mind was just going off and going into that dark world every time I felt that cloud that was just over my head every time I heard those voices that was saying you going to die and all these other things and that was this night you remember when Alexandra told you last night that she was downstairs with the children she came upstairs and she saw me just crying in broken that was because I was on the phone with brother Jackson and when I was on the phone with him as a day. I don't understand why God wants to kill me as it had on no what I've done and he said doing Who told you God is trying to kill you. And I keep hearing these voices all the time Aziz telling these bunnies obviously decide this please with me and I'm going into all this thing and he said this he said doing was not trying to kill you I said that was he trying to do and he said these words he said God is preparing as a preparing me preparing me for what and he started to go through John 50 and he started to walk me through this abide in me and I and you and he started to talk about the branch and when it doesn't bear fruit God has to purge it and he said Why does God purge the branch doing and verse 2 says it says that it might bring forth more fruit he said when God's purging you because he's preparing you to bear more fruit God is not allowing this to happen to you to kill you God is getting ready to do this because he's about to give you a deeper abundance of life and he was the one that brought to my attention steps to Christ 116 paragraph 2 where it says Satan is exultant when he can convince us that God names to do us harm by his providences And I said You mean to tell me that this is been the devil. I mean you don't understand I was convinced God was making it known to me I am unhappy with you and I'm going to take you out and so when he said that's not God He said that's the deceiver that was like moving scales from my eyes and I was like you mean to tell me that all this time I thought God was destroying me it was the devil trying to do this and God was actually prepare me for that he said yes and I burst into tears I mean on control the body just crying thinking I can't believe how I was dizzy and my wife will tell you that when she came upstairs just saw me crying. You remember that I fell asleep can you tell them what you saw on my face when I fell asleep here and what you told me how I looked Do you remember that you don't remember. My wife because night after night you know I'm going to anxiety I will wake up in the middle of the night and I'm nervous and going through these anxiety things and I have to go to the bathroom cause I don't want to wake up my wife and I'll just be in the bath and just kind of crying and dealing with this battle of what's going on and so that night after I was weeping and all these other things she says she came into the room and saw me asleep and asleep was so sound and she said you had a look of peace all over your face and it was like the 1st time that I realized that it was God doing good for me and not bad now you would think after that experience that I just got it no there's something I've learned about Satan through this experience he is relentless when he sees you drawing closer to Christ he will quadruple his efforts and so it is that before you know it I was good for a day or 2 and then I went right back down again. This thing was a true roller coaster experience now as we were getting close to the surgery date and that was a big one because the voice kept telling me that I was going to die before the year was over my cardiologist didn't make any sense and I want to put this in the real quick my cardiologist made no sense to me because you know he told me he said All right go home and he said if you see any swelling in your ankles and you swelling in your wrist or if you start to go through shortness of breath or any of that you know give me a call and so on I think that the Bible teaches us to think the Bible teaches us to reason and I'm a major reasoning person every time somebody shakes my hand I always tell them I said Listen my hands are soft because the calluses on my brain because I'm always thinking and what I did was I went home and I thought about what the cardiologist said I said OK so he said ankle swelling. And whatnot swollen shortness of breath and I said wait a minute I look at a heart failure so I start thinking so you want me to wait until I start to go through heart failure and then what you going to do and he said and then we're going to do the surgery and I said OK OK OK So let's let's let's think about this what's How's my heart right now or your heart strong How's my health overall health is great I mean literally outside of these valves the way one of my dear brothers was a cardiologist put it he said doing he said your heart was like a Lamborghini that just had bad breaks he said you just needed to get your brakes fixed he said Everything else was working phenomenal So think about it I said So you want me to wait until my heart gets worse and then you're still going to do the surgery that you're going to do anyhow yes I was like thank you so I got a phone with him. And that's when I said let's get to the surgery now because if the surgery has to happen and let me say this because if this goes on audio verse and I had somebody say this on Facebook you know both of them in this survey that are checked every urban existence the problem is that there's not a lot that speaks specifically to Valve ular disease in other words heart disease is quite reversible just through lifestyle diet change exercise etc But when you have a part of the heart that's not working right or it's gotten weaker brittle of this than the other there's not a lot out there that can actually fix that so I checked I contacted all of the people that I know cured everything from AIDS to cancers of all sorts and no one had a program on how to deal with Valve ular disease maybe somebody in this room was doing medical missionary work want to want to think about it and so it is that I agreed to do the surgery because there was no other option I read 2nd so that the messages page $284.00 the prophet of God says that it is not a denial of faith when you have tried all other means to go forward with surgery so I knew I was in God's will that was an issue for me so now as we get really go through surgery I told Dr Wong I said listen set up the earliest date you can the earliest date was Feb 27th and I was just like man and I said Can I go to Asia for ablation he said yeah you can and if you go into a fit it can produce blood clots heart attack or stroke can very easily happen I said What's the condition of my heart he said you left atrium is so big 6.8 centimeters so he was like you could go into a fit at any time and so I said all right he called me back he said we've got an opening for December 19th 2016 you want it I said I'll take it and as soon as I said I'll take it he said All right we're booking you we're locking it in I got off the phone the voice came back you will die before the year is over I told you so what appeared to be and what was a blessing. The devil was speaking in my mind saying I told you you will die before the years or so as we were getting ready and preparing for it was a great trial for my wife and I and for our family and my wife decided to drink a cup I think you should share with them about that little cup. I guess like I told you yesterday there's a lot of things I internalize So I'm just kind of cooperating with what's happening everything is going fast. I think it was that night we were counseling with the family and you went upstairs and I followed you and you know you were talking to Dr Wong and we decided that we're just going to fly out to California and we're going to pretty much. Spend all the money in our account to do this it was it was we knew we were not financially able to do this surgery but. Because we have no insurance in California and you saw what the cardiologist suggested for even doing and we just felt like we we were just going to step out on faith and do this let me jump in on that the reason we ended up coming to California is again for a nate this gentleman who does the surgeries really well he had an ability to do something when a 44 year old man has a disease mitral valve the absolute recommendation is replace the valve not repair the best thing you could have done to your heart valve is have it repaired that is the best thing you could have done OK but if it has to get replaced you only have 2 options and animal valves or mechanical valves the animal valve is either a pig or cow 70 Adventists figures out. So I studied the Calvin elf so as I studied the Calvin. And as I looked at the Calvin of the biggest problem is is they don't last very long like you literally go on a surgical table in 2016 as early as 2021 you could be back on a surgical table again OK those valves just don't work well OK they don't have good longevity mechanical valves can last a very long time but you have to be on blood thinners for the rest of your life your intake of greens is going to be deeply compromised your whole life going to be compromised basically you're going to constantly be at risk for strokes because if your blood gets too thinned out you can have a stroke so it was complication the both of these side but repairing the valve there was like no complication you don't have to be on blood thinners it has the greatest longest time period that you can last it said or it was the best option where we were the only thing that was an option was mechanical or bovine this gentleman Dr Wong I asked him I said Can disease mitral valve be repaired He said Wayne there's a probably about a good 5 to 10 surgeons in the US that I am aware of that knows how to repair very well disease mitral valve and I said to him that's fantastic Are you one of them and he said Yes I said that's why we're coming to you. So I'm giving you that background so you understand why did we make this trip to California it was so that the best option could be exercised OK so now we're in California. And so we're going through the process of prepping for the surgery and mind you like doing said You see how providentially we were led to Dr Wong I mean he was like in charge of the medical team it was his people so you know we were like December 19th is is that OK it's close to the holidays he was like no you know they'll come if I say so it was something he just was willing to do for us so we know God was leading and. You know when we went to California and everything and you know he's still not getting the idea that God has you know it's him it's different when it's somebody else so when it's you and death is facing you in the face it really takes like you have to cultivate trusting God because you're not going to develop it last minute and this is what happened and even though it was evident God was leading he just it was hard for him to really embrace that and so. You know we're going through and little things happened you know and he's constantly letting me know you know I'm going to die I'm going to die and I'm like no you're not going to die we're here we're doing it. You know we're just we're just going to go forward and you know. I guess hearing his voice and trying to you know encourage to children and trying to just kind of believe like Lord you are in this right you know he's not really going to die or like you know it was it was very hard because as Satan was whispering in his mind he was. Whispering in my mind Dwayne and it was very discouraging trying to be you know encouraging for him and just trying to believe like larger in it so it was it was a very dark time so but you know God would show like he would still give tokens like we went to men tone church oh my word that church family they have no idea just how much of a blessing they were to us between the food preparation when we were in the hospital the encouraging words I mean there were just people that would just say things to doing that was a benefit for him later that they don't even know you know and I just really think God for the mental and church that was you know they were very instrumental in on helping. Me with the transition you know so anyway and helping us so when we went to the prep I want to say this part because I thought this was profound you know when you pressed for surgery they give you all these liquids to bathe in the night before and she was sitting there and she was like OK you're going to make sure you don't eat after this time or whatever and you know she's going through the steps that we have to take to prep for the surgery and I'm sitting with Wayne and I'm just listening and she's talking and she's looking at him and she was like So you know you bathe with this and when you wake up before you go in that car and you bathe with the rest of the chemical or whatever they and she said Do not put lotion on and you just put your clothes on get in the car and go to the E.R. And we'll be waiting for you and I'm just like Lord have mercy I can't believe this is happening I can't believe and you know we're just OK and I don't know what it was she went like this. I looked around her cubicle and she was like this and she just started encouraging us in the Lord Hello I was like OK that's when I was this like you know I guess she sense she was sensitive to Wayne and then you know she was like you you're going to be OK The Lord is going to and this and that and I'm like OK And so we come around she was like you'll be all right and you know and then she gets up out of her seat she comes around to meet us she grabs my husband's face. And she just started I don't know did she kiss you or she should see. This little older ladies older lady but I. Want to make some points here. But I didn't mind because you know I I mean you can go ahead and finish your play. I mean you know but generally but it's like I just knew it was God moving this woman to to be in a blessing to us. I mean she came out after she gave us a little encouragement I don't know what it was that she saw I don't know how sad I was looking a what have you because I'm just in shock like I can't believe I'm going through this I can't believe tomorrow tomorrow could actually be the day that I did you know just kind of go through all of that and I guess it was kind of coming through my countenance and so that's why she gave us the encouragement then she walks around to give us our stuff and she just kind of takes a hand she says Listen God be with you and she she grabs me and she grabs us and she pulls us closed for us she prayed for us I mean that's when I let it all out I was like oh my word because I felt like Lord you are using her to encourage us at this point it was so encouraging and we needed it at that point I didn't realize how much we needed it until she did that and that's when I said Thank You Lord I was like pay you know we're going to be OK You know it's going to be OK And you know we I don't know I was it was important to me that that happened and then there was a there was a gentleman here I think that night we were at the hotel room because that night when we went back to the hotel room there was a young man he was here on Sabbath. I don't know his name if any of the children remember I mean his mother had surgery. Years ago and she came. Westlands brother Elgar was there. No he came after Yeah but it's like so before forget what I just said before the when he came with the mother this young man they came and they said hey we just want to come and just pray with you and you know they all came I think the young man the mother and the system or the surgery I mean my mother was there to witness this and you know they just came in the hotel room and they just started giving us encouraging words the mother gave a testimony she says I had my valve repaired with one of the animal tissue she said they said I had about at least maybe 510 years she said I'm 20 years going strong and you know and she was just they just saying some songs and prayed with us I mean I'm like you know so when I saw him this week and he was standing I was like you know take my seat young man you know it's like I just appreciate what he did and his family and this was a family doing this you know to encourage us and so God was showing along the way. These things but there was one night I think I got to a place where I was laying on the bed and you know husbands they're resting and I just couldn't sleep and there was an article that I read on Meet ministries website I don't know why I read it it was something our I heard about months before and it was written by Nolen Edwards and he talked about the bitter cup and I had to get to a place where I had to just I felt like I just fell back and just said Lord you got this no reservations. Implicit trust no question even if it means my husband dies because. The percentage rate is low. But you know when you're in it that one percent or 2 percent chance that it could happen even though it's low is is magnified in your mind because it's my life you know everyone is like oh brother Lemon this is God's Will God's will and this and that but I'm the one that's going to have to figure out like how we're going to you know in this like you thinking like this was unexpected you know all I know is like 6 months ago we did not have these issues we want talking about it we were just doing what we do and now just so quickly the family changed the unit of the family everything changed that night I just laid there and I cried because it was so hard for me to do that but I said Lord I'm going to take in this cup this bitter cup and I'm going to fall in your arms and that was really hard and I just broke down crying because I knew what that meant I'm not going to question whatever happens I'm not going to question you and. This was a hard lesson again because the cultivation wasn't there and I've I believe had the cultivation been there consistently I would've been able to handle things a lot better I will say and I have to say this because my son read. My word I was looking for them to shoot because I know I'm going to talk about him and I'm going to keep it together but I read. All the kids have been a blessing in many ways I mean this was hard on all of us but he was an example to me because John Wright has his own walk with the Lord. You know and we've been teaching our kids you know got to get up every morning have devotion. You know surrender to the Lord and they sit in the meetings they hear these things all throughout the years and application of these things you know was not always done even with us but yet we were pressing do you know parents sometimes we press our children to do things that sometimes we don't really do consistently. You know John I got the message at some point years before that even when we had a late start in the morning like let's say we got up late and. It would be like we would have brunch instead of breakfast I guess because it was just a late start and it's like 11 o'clock and I'm like where is Jared is time for breakfast the day is past I'm knocking on his door I'm like boy get up I'm opening the door and he got his hoodie and he's reading his Bible this has been consistent for years OK. That young man was a soldier throughout this whole or deal and I look back and I could say he handled it the best out of all of us even when it was hard and you know just processing what was going on and things that were done but the reason I point him out because he was consistent with his communion he was consistent even if it meant a few minutes even though we started off late because you know the children of Israel they were called to go out early before the sun came up before the to collect the manna right he just understood even if I can get 10 minutes I got to get something in and so he cultivated that habit so when the crisis came. I mean read. It was an example even for me and I as his mother I'm teaching him my sunless he practices it I'm not consistent and I saw how the Lord was able to keep him throughout that whole ordeal you know the night before we were going to find out the true report of the transit offical echocardiogram and just really get an idea of what was going on that was a pivotal day because that was going to determine if we're going to go back home or stay in California because if Dr Wang said Blaine this report shows worse than what we expected we have to do mechanical or if he's going to do mechanical we're not going to go around asking the same Hey can you put your money to was this go Fun need to help us get a mechanical valve surgery we can get that in New Hampshire where we were already without those expenses we came to California for valve repair we believe God paved the way for that so the night before we prayed and prayed and when John had prayed he said you brought us here for valve repair we are not asking for replacement we are trusting what you have led thus far we believe you are going to repair and we thank you for that it was a prayer of faith he had more faith than I did and so when we went to see Dr Wong and when he told us he said Blaine you don't just have a badly bleeding mitral valve that it was getting much about he said your aortic valve is also having a bad regurgitation In other words the report was worse and he said drain we can't do repair on this. You don't understand what those words because what it did is like I could almost see Satan back there just loving this because my issue was Are you really there I question God so much at this time are you really real Are you really there Do You Really Love Me Do you really care because why did you let this happen to me you know I mean I am accusing God at this stage of my life and so for me to believe God Let us just to find out Dr Wong was like we can't do the repair you don't understand how devastating that was it wasn't devastating just because I couldn't get a repair and had to get a replacement it was God's integrity on the line in my mind you understand that that's what was going on in my mind is you let us hear how could you let this happen you understand so when Dr Wang said I cannot repair this he said I will not well this is what he said I said OK so I guess we'll consider the animal valve and he said no we have to do mechanical valve. And he said and I will not and that's what he did he did this with his arms and he says and I will not do anything else I looked at my wife because I knew I said Alix is probably going through it hard right now and I looked at her and she just had her head down and I knew she was hurting and I literally did not know what to say next Dr Wong is there and his wife is there it is Alexandra myself and this thought out of nowhere comes to my mind I said Dr Wong It was like Lord what do I say what do I say God put this thought in my mind telling the story I said Dr Wong I said. Can I tell you a story he said Yes I said there was a man who went to London he was a preacher and I think Dr along with 70 had been his By the way. As he's a preacher in our faith he went to London to preach the word he went to sleep and began to have some grunting sounds his wife began to check on him and notice he was non-responsive he went to cardiac arrest his heart completely stopped as a doctor was he did not get oxygen to his brain for over 30 minutes I said Dr Wong what's the prognosis he said he's dead either brain dead or just officially dead did I said I would agree that man is going to be here on Monday to pray with you and to pray with me in sound mind and body I said God did a miracle with that man my question to you Dr Wong is do you believe God could use your hands and do a miracle and do that which is term to be impossible and Dr Wong looked at that scream with my heart on it and he looked down to the ground it was so quiet in the room and he looked at the screen he looked down he said we can repair it he literally changed his position mind you my head was down I was praying I said Father you have to fix this because we can't walk out of here unless he repeats his vows because everything that was put out there was because this would definitely challenge even the children's faith because right again John it was like This is what we came here for and so I knew I was like OK it's time for you to work. His wife was actually instrumental as well. Because she was looking at the screen and she was like you could do it honey. This is she said he had his hands then he was just like this and he was looking and so while doing this talking about the Jackson he just kept looking at the screen I'm praying and she's looking and she you know it's just it was deep what was going on in that room and then he said he'll repair it I was so overwhelmed after we closed down and I'm sure you're going to go back to it but I had to leave and I went to the bathroom and I just broke down again just praising God like Lord you did it like I was shaking because again we're going through this experience and we've been preaching and teaching and doing all these hydrotherapy courses professing the Lloyd and now we're having like almost like we were babes in Christ yeah going through this this is so solemn This is so humbling and this is so deep and I told my wife as we're taking my digestion walk today I said honey I said it's a real privilege to tell the people who got this story you know because I just think sometimes we as God's people we get so mesmerized by speakers and we think this so invincible and just they got it all together and it's like we really struggle and it's like sometimes the battle of the heat get it gets real hot and we come face to face with ourselves I never had to think about death as far as I was concerned pastor I wasn't I'm like oh I by the grace of God will be part of a 144000 I mean it's like I'm 6 to my mind so to now and see myself potentially dying I'm like All right well that's a game changer and so now I have to re-evaluate things again and like I said it proved I did not have an abiding trust in God it was clear as day God was like boy you are teaching people to trust me. When you did not trust me yourself he said I had to let you see this because God knew it was always there remember crisis does not produce character it only reveals it and so the crisis did not make me a doubting person God says that spirit of doubt that even if it's point one percent element of lack of trust God says that's all the takes to lose out on heaven and so God was showing us clear as day we left that office rejoicing we got a call from the people they said listen in order for us to get you scheduled for Monday December 19th we need $20000.00 Now mind you I really started to go find me already started to go funny needed $20000.00 in 2 days in 2 days we had $25000.00. And in other words here's one of the key lessons that I would like to impart to you pay attention to the way God speaks one of the great problems that many of us have is we don't understand the way God communicates and as a result of not understand the way God communicates we can easily get confused and so what happens is Volume 5 the testimonies page $512.00 tells us there are 3 ways that God speaks through His Word through providential leadings and through the appeals of the Holy Spirit to our heart God was like doing if you were listening you would have seen I was speaking all along ministry here in page 5 or 9 it says that Christ is ever sending messages to those who listen for him do you hear that minister healing 5 o 9 it says God is ever sending messages to those who are listening. And so a lot of times what I got Where are you going to does like I already told you where I met you're not listening you get that and so we went through all of this journey where God was speaking all along I had people call me that anyone expect to call me not mother were enemies or anything like that and I'm a name these names actually as I'm coming up to the thing God is shown Providence after Providence I mean just step by step he's just providing he's giving things some signs of the next you know 2 days before I go into surgery I get a phone call from a brother I haven't heard from in a little while my brother Jeremiah Davis jerm i give me a call by the lemon Hey brother David how you doing he said my brother I'm just calling to let you know this is not appointed on to death and he began to encourage me and as encouraged I said Man listen I can't thank you enough for this call brother and we prayed together and he says I'll see you on the other side so all right the day before my surgery a call I got to admit shocked me a little bit it was pleasant It reminded me of many things my brother John Roberts over Brother cofre called me Dr lemon that's what he always calls me to the limit How's your courage going through and then you see yes there are differences that we have and how we believe God's work will be finished Yes there's differences in how we understand what constitutes God's church but I'm actually thankful that he and I can still get on the phone and still maintain a brotherhood and I actually appreciate that because as long as he's being led by the Spirit as long as I'm being led by the Spirit we will be united into all truth sooner or later and so I got to know how to draw the line to say I disagree with a brother or he may disagree with me when it comes to certain principles of the word but at the end of the day that does not have to make us enemies. My brother cofre called me and is like Listen men this is not appointed and today he began to give words when he said your work limit is not finished speaking with so much authority. And so it was just coming from every angle even from angles that I didn't necessarily expect and I remember that morning of the surgery we go inside the surgical room we had our prayers and brother Jackson my mom Alexandra my children were all there and I knew it was going to be the hardest part because you know they got a roll your husband away they got a really good dad away and you got to watch them roll them away with just that slight possibility that the doctor and the nurse will come out and say we're very sorry and so they had to watch that and I'm going in there and I remember going to the surgical room and I'm watching the ladies over there washing their hands I'm in the O.R. and I'm like I've never been in the O.R. in my life you're laying on that gurney and here it is that I'm just like this is it this is it literally do or die and so I remember that as they get ready to put the end of these in the I said wait wait and they said what's going on I said I need to pray as I need to pray well more time and they said OK do you want to get the surgeon I said yes get the surgeon get everybody who's going to touch me and everybody came in the room later on I understood they will Buddhists Muslims 70 had been as Christians and Christians of other denominations all in that room and when I was there I said that I got to pray guys and I gave what I considered to be my potentially closing prayer and I remember that I prayed to God and I said Lord if this is appointed to death Ike Now it's my sins I ask you to wash me with the blood of Jesus afresh and I'm asking that I will hear that trumpet sound when you burst through those clouds of glory I said but if it is not one to death I am asking you to anoint the hands of every individual in this room that everything will be done with excellence bless them bless their families that have a and I just are praying for them. And I said in Jesus and then he was Michael's estate because I was reading volume 2 page $2215.00 the cost of the cross the sufferings of Christ and I said the very words that Jesus said as he was getting ready to go on the cross I said Father I said I fall into your hands I fall into your hands that are Jesus did couldn't see beyond the cross and couldn't see beyond the grave and he said Father I fall into your arms and I said I fall into your arms city and then I had a peace and I said All right guys let's do this and I watched that anesthesia go in my arm and I was like All right I says that it and I looked up at the anesthesiologist he was like yeah that's it like OK you know I was just down I mean that stuff works quick next thing you know I hear music my wife's voice can sound like music at times today and I heard a voice in my ear saying I love you I love you and then she says Honey they repaired both valves they had artificial valve as a backup She said they repaired both and they said that normally when a heart surgeon does the surgery after they repair the valve they'll probably wait about 15 minutes and observe the heart and then they'll close the person up they said Dr Wong waited an hour he just watched my heart of the thousands and thousands and thousands of people that he's done surgery on he said his only loss one patient he said that he wanted to make sure he said I'm nervous because I have God's ministers on my hand that's what he said he said I'm nervous I have God's minister I can't mess up oh bless his heart man he is such a wonderful man not just what he did he just was just the heart I saw his heart through all of this thing he was really in this with us and we made it through the surgery the wonderful counsels for my brothers and sisters from mental where they said by the limb and start walking you'll get out the hospital faster you got to walk. And so when they're like all right I've got tubes coming out of me and all this stuff I mean you know it's just had what we got out of there and I'd love to say that my anxiety just disappeared and everything but it continues it continues the devil is relentless but what got us to the place where now that anxiety has become a thing of the past what has got us to the place that the depression is no longer existed what has got us to the place that we are resolved as a family by God's grace to go higher and still higher in Jesus and I assure you the lemon household is still very much under attack in fact we're more under attack when I saw my brother done Mackintosh went by his church shortly before I left California to go home for the rest of my healing brother Don pulled me aside he said Brother Lemon he said Hear me good and he gave me a Hebrew word and I couldn't remember what the Hebrew word was but he stated the Hebrew word to me and he said Brother them and he says listen he said the fact that God has brought you through this and all these experiences he said God is getting ready to use you double than what he has used you before he said I need to pray for your brother and I surpass the mackintosh appreciate them and we held each other and we prayed together and what I'm telling you family is that God has brought us through an amazing journey I mean there's so much to this story but I want to share with you in these closing moments just what were some of the final keys What were some of the keys that really helped us to really get to a place that we could be restored in the Lord that we could be back and like I told you last night it's a beautiful thing to have a sound mind once you lose it you cherish it when you get it back you really do I remember when I constantly looked at gravesites with fear and terror and I remember one time zones like a light switch you know just one day we drove past a great sign I looked at it and normally when I looked at in you know all these thoughts and everything I was able to look at that grave site. Wonder how many people are there that will be ready for the 1st resurrection. Or help me to be one when my dog is like all of a sudden I can look at things with proper perspective again fell so good to be able to do that what was some of the lessons that we learned one of the 1st lessons God taught me was but without faith it's impossible to please God for He who comes to God must believe that he is not just believe that he's a reward or who must believe that he is he is what what he said he is he said I am love so why do you question God loving you yes I stand that you know how it is to go through a crisis and one of the 1st things we question is do you really love me God had to teach me doing you didn't trust me before now I want you to start training your mind to really trust me we had to go back into the lab we had to start all over again like my wife said we had to start all over again and really ask ourselves do we really have faith and so we started to cultivate faith Jude and verse 20 says Build up your most holy faith and so we had to start building up our faith and for clarity on what faith is don't ever forget that story the century and answered and said Lord worthy that thou shouldst come under my roof but speak the word only in my service shall be healed now that's not just fav that is what Jesus called great faith we must learn that faith is trusting the word of God only to do what the word said it's going to do regardless of how you feel regardless of what your atmosphere is dictating to you trust the word of God only to believe that that word is going to do what it said is going to do and what I realize a lot of us don't do that because a lot of times I can go to certain pastors and say do you stand for certain truths you believe the present truth yeah I believe the present truth OK Will you stand for these things now I can't do that when I was going to happen in my job. It was going to happen my security was going to happen to trust the word of God only did not God say I'll supply all your needs in other words it's very easy for us to say I trust God until your crisis comes in and just because you pass one crisis does not mean that by default you're ready for every other crisis and so we learned put your trust in God that was a major lesson Alexandra read Caleb Kayla Jaida and Duane Lemmon we all had to go back into the lab and learn what is faith all over again as a layman household we also had to start focusing more and more on the love of God start being intentional I'm studying his love I'm not neglecting studying Revelation 17 revelation 18 in Daniel 11 in Daniel 12 lots of books being written by a lot of people talking about the Holy Spirit but the 1st through that Spirit is love my hope and prayer is that you know more about God's love than just the mere individuality and personality of God's Spirit you understand that God wants us to know who he is to understand his love in fact it says right here reviewing Harold Nov 22nd $892.00 the theme that attracts the heart of the sinner is Christ and Him crucified on the cross of Calvary Jesus stands revealed to the world in on parallelled love present him thus to the hungry multitude and the light of His love will win men from darkness to light from transgression to obedience and true holiness beholding Jesus upon the cross of Calvary our arouses the conscience to the heinous character of sin as nothing else can do you know that includes a son in law I hope you got that even the Sunday law crisis all alone does not reveal the heinous character of sin. Like when we present Christ and Him crucified and so that's a message for the end time preachers is yes we're going to talk about the agitations of the Sunday law that's not our issue yes we're supposed to teach it but we need to make sure that we're teaching in the context of showing people Christ and Him crucified being the solution to the Final Crisis You can't just tell people to get ready if you tell me get ready and don't show me how I'm going to do was natural to me to get ready so you gotta explain how to get ready and you got to not hide yourself in him notice Christ crucified talk it pray it saying it and it will break and when hearts set formal hold isn't this set formal phrases the presentation of merely what how much times are we spending on argumentative subjects how many books are being produced right now on argumentative subjects it's not going to finish the work let's And it's a set formal phrases the presentation of merely argument of the subjects is productive of a little good it says the melting love of God in the hearts of the workers will be recognised by those for whom they labor souls are thirsting for the water of life do not allow them to go from you empty reveal the love of Christ to them leave them to Jesus and He will give them the bread of life and the water of salvation of you and Harold June 2nd 19 over 3 God wants us to understand God brought us back to rain Alexandra read caver Jaida spend more time meditating studying singing talking praying about my love focus on it and see that in the context of the Final Crisis and that's how you stay balanced rather than unbalanced unsanctified and overzealous and so this was another lesson we learned is focus on the love of God Now let me break it down in real practicality you know another thing we learned keep the law. Now listen to what I'm saying to brothers and sisters I don't know fully what threw me off balance with all the things id and all this other stuff I studied everything from Sarah tone and disorders to all sorts of issues thinking at times I thought I had a tumor in my brain but what I'm telling you is this and this is something we need to deal with this it is hypocritical to tell people to keep the 10 Commandments all of them while many of us violate the laws of health if you don't get proper rest right now you young people or younger people some of you got something called vital force and what's happening is if you violate and you violate and you violate and because no major punishment hit you yet you continue in your evil way that's what Ecclesiastes 811 calls it it says because judgment against an evil work is not executed speedily therefore the sons of men are fully set in their hearts to continue in their evil ways many a times we keep violating these things thinking all right we do it even in the name of Jesus I did and what happens is if you keep staying up late at night if you keep doing these things over a period of time your body is going to say if you won't give me what I need I will protest and your body is going to start crying out and are going to start going through a lot of bad negative stuff and you're not going to like it but it's not even that we could jeopardize even our own salvation by violating the laws of health and you know the problem is most people don't believe there but I know God said it look at this council to the churches page 215 paragraph 6 the creator of man has a range the living machinery of our bodies every function is wonderfully and wisely made. And God pledged himself to keep this human machinery and healthful action if the human agent will obey His laws and cooperate with God Now watch this every law look at that point right here please please please pay attention every law governing the human machinery is to be considered just as truly what divine in origin in character and importance as the what as the Word of God Every law of health that God is given to us is to be understood as just as divine as the Word of God It's this every careless inattentive action any abuse put upon the Lord's wonderful mechanism by disregarding his specified laws in the human habitation is a violation of God's law what we call a violation of God's law sin we have to understand the laws of health an optional family take it from your brother all those nights of staying up late all those nights of making excuses all those nights of saying oh I was just doing it for God's glory all those nights of costly doing that it caught up with me at 44 I don't know when it's going to catch up with you but we are guaranteed is going to catch up it's going to catch up and what God is trying to say is why keep doing this we have to understand his laws of health are just as important as those 10 commanders were telling everybody to keep and so we got to get to a place that we start to sincerely learn Lord help my life to be in harmony with what you have said it says we may be holden and by are the work of God in the natural world but the human habitation is the most wonderful since the laws of nature are the laws of God It is plainly our duty to give these laws careful study we should study their requirements in regard to our own bodies and conform to them ignorance in these things is sin. God has so my family and I 60 percent is not enough 70 percent is not enough 80 percent is not enough 90 percent is not enough 98 percent is not enough 99.9 percent is not enough Gus's I'm not going to change my word for anybody blood has been spilled on behalf of my word God is the Mughal change my law for anyone and so what happens a lot of us we don't down God's law because sometimes even the medical missionaries do it and then when we see what happens to the medical missionaries God says sometimes allow that to be seen so you can understand don't make a man your standard make me a standard did Jesus keep all the laws of health so then that's your model don't look at anybody else if somebody is cheating on diet or cheating on exercise or cheating on anything they are not our model Jesus is our model and he did not make any excuses he kept those sacred laws hell and what got us and if he wants us to do it why because he wants us to be 3 things man was made 3 ways in the beginning of time happy healthy holy that's what God wants every single one of you to be happy healthy and holy hell is another lesson that we learned the misuse of our physical powers shortens the period of time in which our lives can be used for the glory of God and It unfits us to accomplish the work God has given us to do by allowing ourselves to form wrong habits by keeping late hours by gratifying appetite at the expense of health we lay the foundation for feebleness by neglecting physical exercise by overworking mind or body we unbalance the nervous system those who thus shorten their lives and unfit themselves for service by disregarding nature's laws are guilty of robbery toward God and they are robbing their fellow men also Christ object lesson $347.00 I would like to recommend family. Take it from some people who's been through just a little bit of drama I'm sure there's more who could tell even worse war stories pay attention to everything you know to be right when it comes to those laws of health take it seriously please do not treat it like it's some option Oh I have a little bit of that I have a whole lot of this don't glow because you've got a great diet but you don't exercise get it all in because we're trying to actually teach people in the world to keep all the law of God I think we should be consistent the last lesson that I'll share with you that we learn Sam's 84 in Psalms the 84th Division I want to show you something here that I believe will prove very helpful to us some the 84th division you know God wants us to be like him is that right these are all lessons that God taught us I'm serious the lemon household is going on what we call we're going under an extreme make over right now serious we really are and I'm grateful for it in Psalms 84 I want you to see something the Bible says in verse 11 and 12 it says for the Lord God is what a son and shield the Lord will give grace and glory no good thing will be withhold from them that walk up rightly old Lord of Hosts bless it is the men they trust in the do you know verse 12 helps us see a very powerful reason verse 12 says blessed it is the man that does what that trust in Him Do you know verse 11 shows us one of the key reasons why God can be trusted doing if you see it because he is a son and she'll What about him being a son and shield should increase our trust I want to I want you to think through the text verse 12 is a fruit of verse 11 Blessed is the man who trusts in God No doubt but verse 11 shows us why we can trust him. This is the Lord our God is a what's the 1st thing it says a lot our God is a son and I can introduce one thought to you about the sun it might blow your mind you're ready for this you know one thing I learned about the sun it's consistent it rises and it goes down every day it's always consistent sunrise sunset sunrise sunset sunrise sunset consistent you know the kind of people you can trust people that are consistent the more consistent we are is the more trustworthy we become and one of the great things about God is he's consistent and one of the great lessons that God has shown us is how important it is doing in Alexandra to be consistent be consistent with your homeschooling be consistent with your morning and evening worship be consistent when it comes to that midday prayer time be consistent with your diet be consistent with getting your proper rest be consistent in studying to show yourself approved be consistent that if you say you love your wife you make sure you show it be consistent that if you say you love your husband make sure you show it be consistent that if you say you love your children do not provoke them to wrath by withholding it God says be consistent if you're going to preach the Bible in the spirit of prophecy as authoritative teaching then live by the principles that it teaches don't play favorites don't love to talk about prayer but you don't study Don't talk so much about studying but you don't spend time in prayer don't talk about the dangers of music reform but you won't talk about dress reform be consistent if there is one thing that the world cannot stand about Christianity in all of its forms including 7th Day Adventists behold and inconsistent group of people. And so what God was showing Alexander and I is we must be consistent if nobody else will my brothers and sisters I'm going to tell you in these few moments here sometimes we show forth our inconsistency and damages our witness sometimes we actually put it up on Facebook I'd like to encourage you please think before you put up a picture I'm really serious about that we're trying to give a harmonious message be consistent with what you cheer and what you represent some 70 have been is there in politics and they have shown themselves not consistent we are not to get caught up into politics we are not to get caught up into all the political battles because we know the political world cannot solve the problems of this world why would we waste our time in that we have 7 adventures that will go ahead celebrates competitive sports when we clearly have the Word of God that tells us that we should not be involving ourselves in those things without being consistent and we can just go down the list and the list and the list and you know what's synonymous to being consistent abiding you remember. Abiding in Christ means a living earnest refreshing faith that works by love and purifies the soul it means a what constant receiving of the Spirit of Christ a life of unreserve surrender to His service where this union exists good works will appear the life of the vine will manifest itself and fragrant fruit on the branches the continual supply of the grace of Christ will bless you and make you a blessing so you can say with Paul I'm crucified with Christ Nevertheless I live yet not I but Christ liveth in me it says the sacred union with Christ will unite the brethren in the most enduring bonds of Christian fellowship their hearts will be touch with divine compassion one for another coldness variance and strife are entirely out of place among the disciples of Christ they have accepted the one faith they have joined to serve the one Lord to endure in the same warfare to strive for the same object and to triumph in the same cause they have been bought with the same precious blood and have gone forth to preach the same message of salvation That's consistency it's the same thing. It says those who are constantly drawing strength from Christ will pose this his spirit is a guarantee finally those who are constantly drawing strength from Christ will possess His Spirit they will not be careless in Word or deport meant in abiding sense an abiding sense of how much their salvation has cost in the sacrifice of The Beloved Son of God will rest upon their souls like a fresh and vivid transaction the scenes of Calvary will present themselves to their minds and their hearts will be subdued and made tender by this wonderful manifestation of the love of Christ to them they will look upon others as the purchase of his precious blood and those who are united with Him will seem noble and elevated and sacred because of this connection the death of Christ on Calvary should lead us to estimate souls as he did his love has magnified the value of every man woman and child that I may know him Page 132 paragraphs one to 4 the greatest lesson that God has taught Alexandra and I is every problem that you face came as a result of allowing your abiding to be broken isn't that deep that's what this whole testimony was I mean like for real I told my wife I said that is pretty deep how God put this together because we didn't even recognize this our whole testimony between last night today was all as a result of abiding being broken and God holding us back to it you understand that be consistent that's what it means by stay there don't just visit it and then come out of it visit it make your home there stay in it Biden in constant continual consistent the question is very simple. In your pastoral ministry in your gospel medical missionary evangelist ministry and yourself supporting ministry and whatever your home ministry your personal life whatever it may be if you can honestly say I see clearly not foggy clearly and listen my appeal very carefully because my hope and prayer is that we don't have to have a 1000 of the S.W. wise or all these other things like I wish we could have the boldness of the pioneers and say let's finish this work just not not not with an misunderstanding we know they misunderstood scripture. But we have been told I think one of the most startling text of Scripture to me is the fact that we can hurry up and hasten the coming of the Lord ask yourself what are we doing to hurry up becoming of the Lord pay attention to your fruit What have we done the spar that we can clearly see it has caused the movements to go faster if we see in the same faces and see in the same heads and a lot of the same stuff is going on and we're not even one step closer to the 2nd coming then that's a clear statement in the world it's time to change some things up pay attention to fruit that's what gardeners do we pay attention fruit family if you are clear I'm not talking off ID I'm talking about you a clear if you can scan your life right now and you can say I can identify at least one if not more things in my life in my ministry or whatever where I am flat out inconsistent and you can see I've got to put all my energy into this to get out of this state I don't want you to find out something terrible that shakes your whole foundation like mine got shook and like ours got shook but you gotta get to a place that it's no more business as usual that's the thing we're ready to do dynamic stuff or God will now I'm up to my dynamic pretty teaching We're talking about Lord what's the next degree of surrender that you're bringing us to. That's going to probably cost us a lot because I can guarantee you if you keep doing the same thing you're going to get the same results so if you know that you're inconsistent if you can see the area in your life that you are inconsistent and you are already under the power of God's Spirit to go to war against self whatever it takes it's funny my wife and I laugh about it now but it's a very solemn laugh shortly before 2016 there's one thing I said and one thing we said I told my wife in the very very early stages 2016 I said honey I said I don't know what it is but I feel like with all that we've done I feel like God has not scratched the surface of what he wants to do with us that's what older and then here's the thing we both said this Well I mean when I say you got to get ready we both covenanted we talked we thought about our home we thought about our situation and we said Lord do whatever it takes that we might be saved and that we might be made which you have called us to be and I say to my family the time we dare to be one well ordered one well disciplined family even if nobody else chooses to be so and it's amazing because once we made that it was like Satan must have seen something where he said demons they're serious we got to get to work boy do they get to work what I'm saying to you is when you decide to say Lord I am prepared to do radical activity to get out of the state of complacency that I'm in right now to break out of my inconsistency to do what others would dare to do for your name's honor and glory to lose everything. That I will and I will only be done when you get to that place of surrender you better believe it given to see Satan unleash himself like he's never done it before and that's when you going to be the claim John $1633.00 Be of good cheer have already overcome. You can overcome them as I overcame and so you've got to be brutally honest with yourself right now if you know it's not foggy you're clear there are things in your life that you are pro fessing that you are inconsistent and you are saying Lord by your grace I am ready to go to war even with myself we can break out of this inconsistency and experience true surrender do whatever it takes to save us if you're at that place I want to fight you to stand to your feet and as you stand crisis going to stand with you you don't have to be afraid but you need to be serious Don't be lax if you take in life as a joke stop taking it as a joke if you think you take if you take in God's church as a joke please stop taking God's church in his truth as a joke we have to understand we're going to have to lose that we my game if you've been playing favorites with anybody to try to just maintain your position as a pastor whatever you cannot be saved like that you're going to have to sooner or later rub against the grain not to try to start trouble you're simply going to have to stand when others won't stand as a gospel worker if you know you've been rough and you know you've been fair judge mental and condemning your brothers you going to have to go back even if you've been blasting folks on You Tube or whatever or whatever it may be you got to get to a point that you realize I was wrong I need to confess my sin and make make things right with my brothers and sisters living in fornication disrespecting your wife dishonoring your husband neglecting your children misrepresenting Christ by the way you look at the way you dress or the way you act or whatever it is whatever that thing is write it down family be determined when you leave this place when you get off this mountain by God's grace help me Lord to abide to be consistent and not going to gloat on what I did good for a month or 4 week has to be every day. Every day Don't pat yourself on the back because you did good for weak or good for money or had a good conference Always ask yourself Lord how can we go higher How can we go higher and I trust God will bless you Father in heaven we thank you that all along you were there you were guiding us you were preparing us and Lord is evident that you're not finished with us yet or some very deep covenants are being made right now we're not making a covenant on what we're not clear on we're making a covenant on exactly what we're clear on and Lord help us to remember we really can do all things through Christ who strengthens us we don't have to maintain an inconsistent life teaches dear God that if we constantly remain connected to you receiving more of the spirit of your son receiving more of his grace receiving more of his love every day we will have those good works all the things you've called us to do from the smallest to the greatest of instructions will be followed and we will not look to ourselves and gloat upon what has been done for it was Christ in us the hope of glory Thank you Father for showing us the importance of abiding in Jesus and I pray let this be our experience from this day forward bless you people of God continue to work on us as the lemon family continued father to let any and everything that needs to take place keep urging. Until you see the fruit that you desire to see that it not just be our prayer but let it be Everyone's prayer in this we. Purchase. In Jesus thing. This media was brought to you by audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse if you would like to listen to more sermons lead to visit W W W audio verse or.

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