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  • May 25, 2019
    9:45 AM

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Whether you ever wanted to be a parent or you are parents or you have parents this is a special episode just for you coming up. Coming to you from Silver Spring and welcome to N.P.R.'s Bible based conversation on life principles contemporary and thought provoking. Now here's your host just in time within the welcome to in verse a special Bible studies show for people who have parents which is really all of us we've all had parents or have parents are of some permutation of sorts when I board of prayer and want to delve into the topic of parent saying and where this isn't really for parents but really there is a spiritual message and a function of parenting so she can pray for us John. God we thank you that we all have parents which means that we're on this planet we thank you for the parents that you've given us and for those of us who have the joy of being parents we thank you for that gift but most importantly we thank you for you being our parent and we ask that as a heavenly Father you would open our minds to understand the things that you speak to us from scripture so that we can be better citizens and pretty things in any game and in Israel go to some 123 hole or some there it's not very long so Muslim 312127 OK story 127127 the verses 12345 unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it unless the Lord guards the city the watchman stays awake in vain it is vain for you to rise up early to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows for who for whom he gives sorry for so he gives his beloved his beloved sleep behold children are a heritage from the Lord the fruit of the womb is a reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior soar the children of one's youth happy is the man who has his quiver full of them they shall not be ashamed they shall speak with their enemies in the gate all right Sebastian what is going on in that song it's shocking about sleeping in children and housing in the quiver What's up with that essentially he's he's covering. 3 main things the 1st thing is the indispensability of God right in terms of the success of your house as a parent so you're not going to be a successful parent you're not going to build a successful posterity without the Lord unless the Lord is a part of it so that's what you mean in verse 22 years you know rising up early getting to. Know that that doesn't matter without Jesus no OK No And then number 2 is the inheritance. In the blessing that having children are in and of themselves and in fact he says they are a heritage from the Lord so we're inheriting them because we're children of God he's now giving us his children. In a craze and that this is a reward and they're also now dealing with the impact that those children will eventually have in the results that will come because we raise our children in the Lord and the fact that he says you know happy is the man who has his quiver full of them and his children will not be ashamed but they shall speak with their enemies in the game so what is that what's a quiver why why are children in the quiver why why well essentially a quiver you know where you have your bow and arrows and essentially when your quiver was full that means you're ready for battle so you're not going to run out of you know your weapon in order to be defenseless so you can conquer your enemy so what you're storing your children up knees are well essentially when you raise your children for God they are literal agents of bringing down the Devils Kingdom Yes So in essence your quiver will always be full of them and this is not just your next generation but the generation after that in the generation after that so in these 3 things Solomon is the one who tends this song and essentially is driving forward to that point because think about house what Solomon was for David and what he accomplished in terms of the Golden Age of Israel and I was one of his sons and imagine you know eventually Jesus will come through that same lineage and these are all some principles from this the the society is made up of at the end when you distill that down it's made up of family units the family unit is the smallest of all social units and also show groups and so it is the family that builds the church it is the family that builds the state it is the family that builds the nation it is a family the bills the world and so what the text is saying is that from its very foundation from the very core of society at its very lowest you know number. God has his hand in what is taking place in this world and he gives us in our children he not only gives us the ability to provide for ourselves you know in the end what ends up happening is kids take care of their parents or whatever but here you also have the fact that God gives parents gifts so their kids will ultimately build up the reputation not just of the home but the reputation of society of Church of the world and will provide governance for for the entire world and through this governance they reveal the love in the character of God and I think this was what God's design was from the beginning. I'm just thinking about having a conversation with a friend actually this past weekend with a group of friends and just talking about how how wicked the world is and what a scary thing it is to bring children into the world. At so many different levels and we were kind of going through all the pros that we could think all the cons actually that we could think of and they were very many and at the end of it and these were single friends and they were like you know if we ever get married we don't want to have kids you know because you bring them into a world that is so simple that is so horrible that it's full of all of this evil right and it kind of becomes like why would you do that you know why would you have children if the world is so wicked and so evil for a for the children sake don't bring them into the world so they don't have to suffer and then be don't contribute to like overpopulation you know. When I mean. Obviously it's OK to talk in singles. But you know something that something that came out as we were discussing it was was you know there's an there's an opportunity in a Christian home there's an opportunity to contribute to society something that is positive with your children and yes the world is evil but they there's the possibility that you. Children can be a light in the world and be be a witness within their sphere of influence so not for the sake of personal aggrandizement or you know for family pride or whatever but for the advancement of God's kingdom that before I call Sebastian put it that in terms of being a quiver in your arsenal for war against the enemy you know that children can be that kind of a blessing it's a scary endeavor still but there's the there's the possibility of that blessing yes that's when I can't really think of children often that as like just these annoying extensions that just happen through life like we're going through and we have kids and there's just an extra liability extra expense sometimes with this this quiver heart attack. That's how it was real I think you know better this is a lot of the reason that I felt for some of it is sort of my secret to this quiver component is there are a next natural extension of our values of what we're called to do what we are the battles that we are forced to be involved in and we talk about this previous episode look at Hannah and her raising of Samuel and the priests of their day were totally corrupt them they're hanging out with women they shouldn't they're eating things they shouldn't and why I mean I want my child to go to the best university the best school I'm not going to put them in the worst school but she's having a mental Let's put them in this corrupt school to change the school from the inside out I mean that's that's true mission this ship but I mean if you think about it right you're we're we're we're kind of cutting got short it's like we're robbing God of an opportunity to work a miracle because truly right if we believe Jesus is who he says he is and who he claims to be that the kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our God and of his Christ Jesus reigns then even when Jesus was born I mean there was a king trying to kill you or I was looking for you I mean gosh in a dream. Gods and wise men he provided gold and silver when you were born in a manger so you can make the journey like these are all the things that God provided for that one B.B. and it gives us comfort to know that God is going to do the same thing for our child because that child is being brought into a godly home into a family that loves gone and that's praying so it's it's the I resonate a lot with sequels point about the idea in the human you know context this is a crazy endeavor while whatever do this once you insert Jesus as that secret ingredient you just change the whole recipe like this is a completely different conversation there because if you can do let's go to chapter 6 let's go to the Old Testament and let's go to chapter 6 verse 4 this is the he were ashamed of very important verse for the Jewish faith verse for the Bible says here oh Israel the Lord our God The Lord is one verse 5 you still love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and then there's a shift in what I see how the 2 detour later verse 6 and these words which I command you today shall be in your heart you show teach them diligently to your children in show talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you shall rise up use a vine them as a sign on your hand if so be as front let's between your eyes and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your secret what's going on in Chapter 6 of Deuteronomy where some principles about parenting we can glean from their well the 1st thing is that the injunction goes to the parents if you shall love the Lord your God in verse 5 with all your heart so as a parent. The parent is the one who has to begin by having a relationship with God I think sometimes it can be easy to expect of others and more so in that your children to expect of others what you are not necessarily him to maintain your own life. I think about our now this is 3 and we're trying to teach him not to ingest too. You know so the lesson goes a little sorry for everything that is just. Struggling. With the lesson of those sugar is bad for you because it depresses your immune system true you know it depresses the immune system you are more prone to getting sick and then you know mom I just really really needed to eat that chocolate you know it's you know it's like I really need a medical need. And how do you know how much of a sort of professional Your parents are. International. But I mean how do your obsessed with chocolate if you're going to be a social So how do you expect I want my child not to be doing this right but but what the Bible says it needs to start with me so before I'm going in teaching my child I need to overcome the sugar in my life and then that's what I pass on to my children and that's that's the 1st thing that I get from the things you know it's interesting reminds me of a story in Gandhi's life where he he was this woman came to him and was like you know can you tell my son the stop eating candy in Gandhi's I will tell him come back in 2 weeks and then I'll tell him so it's special is the kid comes back and she's like you said you would tell my son he's like oh where is he so the kid comes over and gone he's like oh stop eating candy and he's like OK and walks up in the Woman's I watch you make me wait 2 weeks he's like because I had to stop eating. Myself. And it's it but his whole point to me is valid in the fact of what you're saying is our words will have the power and influence that our example has gained so when I'm living it you know it's way more powerful important for me to tell my child because I like I'm living it and you know health business and my daughter you know it's called the new life so my oldest is always like you know when it comes down for dessert and stuff like OK papa you know you can have one cookie because you're about the new life. I'm not about the life so I think. So it's like they understand the fact that you're going to the gym you're exercising you're all about these things and because you're about it they're like OK I'll listen to you talk about this subject and it was really funny before I flew here well before you go when you flew here coming up we're going to hear the conclusion of Sebastian story. Has impressed been a blessing to you Do you have questions comments of feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching insist on Facebook Twitter Instagram or You Tube while you join us like us comes up next our handle again is in 1st Bible states now back to the discussion. Welcome back we go back to Sebastian. It's going on so before I was flying you know for filming my my oldest daughter came downstairs and she was like you know papa I think I need to start going to the gym with you and like why so I kind of you know I was picking up the toy isn't like I don't I was feeling some some pain in my back and everything I think I need to strengthen my core Well if you just great that your core I guess she's like how old is she at this she's 6 years old 6 years old and she needs to strengthen her core and I guess she's hardly like talking to clients about their core So it's just funny to see how now you know her and my my 2nd child they're very invested in being healthy and being fit simply because of the example that you leave and so it just goes to show like when you lie down when you walk by the way just in every day life of how you're living your life if you live that example it's going to influence them I think for me that's where the powerful powerful phrases are in verse 7 when you walk by the way when you lie down when you rise up you still talk and when you sit in your house you know these are very. Unassuming reigning normal instances and so I think sometimes as a parent we think like parenting these are events or these are programs or These are initiatives or books or these big things which I think there's merit to them in great stuff but parenting just happens when you're sitting in a car really doing nothing when you're walking or when just brushing your teeth these small little vignettes of everyday life that's when children are just soaking up all everything about Mom and Dad and copying mom and. Very very powerful but dangerous and this and we but it's talking about intentionality too because it says there you show teach them diligently to you and so there is this element of intentionality in you know the way we live so the way we live should be so intentional that whether it's big moments or small moments it's coming out in everything that we need and I think. Here God is giving Israel 2 things Number one is to to love God and then number 2 is to diligently teach your kid and so you have this element of leading by example but then also not neglecting the active role of teaching and I think many times as parents we fall in one or the other we expect that our example is going to be enough and he's saying no this is not enough you need to teach them and sometimes we give the words we teach them diligently without without having that example and so we point both things are necessary when it's coming to teaching our kids a little what's brought in that speaks to the problem that what what is this teaching component is it just it's not just in rolling them in formal education but what what other aspects of the Bible really point to I don't know that I'm going to actually write something that struck me and actually me hit head on it in verse 7 or so this this the way that you're teaching in your intentionality like verbally instructing them and then also in in life style it just reminded me of the ministry of Christ my husband is huge on discipleship ministry it's kind of like a thing for him he goes and reads about how the rabbis used to do it back in the day and the old walk the you know they they would have disciples who would walk behind him and literally walk in their footsteps and they would see how the rabbi would sleep then and you see Christ Ministry had his disciples following him around and so when when the enemies enemies of Christ the Pharisees sent spies to go spy on Jesus and they go see what Jesus is doing and they come back in the light OK so what you got to tell us about Jesus and the like man never man spake as he spake like that with the power with this Jesus speaks is unlike anything we've heard and one author puts it this way is that never a man spoke like Jesus because there was never a man who lived like Jesus so the power or power of his life came out because of his life his words have power and I think of. Parenting that the in Athens more so than you know going to church and quote unquote doing ministry and sometimes we get caught up in I want to go knock on doors and do evangelism. Parenting your children is discipleship you know that your life is supposed to imbibe the values that you claim to profess and then you teach them to your children and the words that you speak to your children have power because they see it in your life which is the ministry of Christ so I mean parenting today in a secular context is just teach them to be moral contributors to society standing here this this this paradigm shift is we're not call to parent our children the way that the world parents we are to this I pull them into the gospel work the gospel came the character I mean they are to be patterned after Jesus' life I mean this is a paradigm shift in Christians who don't really fully embrace him although I think I think it's hard to swallow because you know many times you can get caught up in being a parent and failed as a disciple right man I need a break like I just need you to go play over there and this is has nothing to do about discipleship and so I think while it is an idealistic approach that we definitely want to strive for I think the reality of how it plays out every day isn't so picture perfect it's just sometimes you're tired as a parent or you don't have it or your spiritual life is going to you know maybe a valley you know at that time and so you know there's a there's a an opportunity where disciple in our children also is improving our own discipleship driving this back to Christ and driving us to be better and say look I need to get that example back because you know I'm losing the grip here I think that I mean I think that's that's really the essence of it though is how do you deal with the times when you're just exhausted because that's they'll come times when as a person you're exhausted and then I need to model what. What does a Christen who's exhausted look like you know and I learned this lesson as I was working on a on a campus in in Michigan and there was this one student who would come to my house she would come unannounced like all hours of the day I love her to bits but it was really challenging because I had this picture of what I should be as an example as a special example to the students that are studying the Bible with and she would catch me unawares like in moments where I'm trying to recharge. Like this goes messing with what I'm trying to do because of the my work but if you're watching out there just contact the crew. Whatever they. Are really good fellows. Are you visible How do you what I do think that you are what I learned what I learned was because I would try to get into like quote unquote super spiritual mode you know and I act out what I thought a Christian should look like but I learned through that experience that she is seeing me in those moments like the question is how do I deal with moments of stress how do I deal with when I'm tired how do I recharge is God a part of that picture and when she saw when I allowed myself to be vulnerable in the Lord when she saw that that's really what changed her wasn't seeing me giving a bible study or was just like hey you know you're you're just you just follow Jesus like no matter how you're feeling the matter HOW you and I think that's I think that's the power of example right is that when your children see when mama is tired this is what mom acts like you know and Jesus is a part of that picture right so let's all strange Here's a traditional parenting is mom and dad and we've we've talked a lot about moms and dads and but are there also other different kinds of parenting so if if we look at parenting now under this scheme of discipleship me it kind of opens up the definition of absolutely what other forms are there what I mean you know I grew up with them. Single parent home most of my childhood and you know you have single parents who feel like they have to be both mom and dad in the fact that you know in God's original system both parents combine to bring the influence of discipleship But when you're the only parent especially in a society where you're working outside the home you know it's not like the children are participating in what you do it's like I have to go to work and so a lot of times you know that single parenting model is something that may seem to be a deficiency but when you put it in the light of discipleship it still works and that if you are intentionally even as a single parent God is still going to bless the fruits of your labors as you give and say look I'm going to intentionally disciple my children and I've seen the fruits of that in my own life and other people's lives you know well when I grew up in a very very busy both my parents worked you know we were an immigrant family my parents immigrated to the United States and so they had to work really hard in order for us to be able to live in the U.S. And so they were I remember my mom you know dropping me off at school early in the morning before schools opened and a teacher her name is Mrs Arkell were to this day I remember because she came every single morning and she opened up the school and she would allow me to sit in her classroom for 2 or 3 hours before school started and to this day I've never been able to find her but the role that she played in my life was significant she was essentially kind of like a mother to me and you know the impact that she had I was able to see and you know even at that I was in 3rd grade even at that age I could see anything yeah I could see this this person is special she's different from other people she's not just a teacher but she's a Christian and you know you would think you know she's patient you know this early in the morning I mean this was like 5 or 6 in the morning 5 in the morning she's patient she doesn't she doesn't push me aside and say you go over there while I do my thing she. Was attentive to my needs It was just she was diligent in her ministry to me and so we had those elements I remember my my aunts you know my aunts were like mothers to me where they'd have to sometimes babysit me and they became like mothers or my own calls became like fathers when I went to the academy I had to go to Academy in a different state and my principal Mrs Clarke she became like a mother to me and so you have these the concept in the Bible of these mothers in Israel who take over the parental responsibilities once you you know your children move on and the role that these individuals play you know the To this day I can think of so many people that have impacted my life because a parent in me and a disciple you know you have many spiritual parents who are not our parents and then also on the other flipside we have a responsibility to parent other children outside of our genetic offspring and when it's big it's it's it's quite an interesting take this this Christian perspective on and I think I think that when the church I believe the church has an opportunity to offer. Family support system to those who may not have certain aspects when I when I left home I was 17 and I went to Canada and the church that the church family had became a part of there was there were there was a husband and wife who would drive an hour out of their way to come pick me up to take me to church one way and so every Friday night they'll come pick me up take me to church to have fellowship Sabbath morning same thing. And they are parents to me I call them mom and dad they came to my graduation from college they came to my wedding they they've continued to be a part of my life and my parents I told my parents and those of my Canadian parents and so I think the church and the church has an opportunity to offer that to people who may not have you know their mom and dad there or their father there that. Can be a family in that way and then let me ask this one question in a way what can we say what Biblical principles are advice can you give to those parents who have Parenthood and the children have not followed in the ways of the Lord what what encouragement can we give to those who are maybe kids who have parents are there not of a godly parental background what's what's the hope we can give to people out there and there for sure out there maybe you want to be a stable The Book of Proverbs tells us that you know if you teach a child in the way in which they should go and when they are all right they shall not depart from it that gives you the promise that God is not mocked you know you will reap what you have sown and so sometimes you may not see the fruits right away but if you've taught your child right and they may grow to make different choices then you have to believe that God is going to keep his promise and he's going to be actively working on bringing your child back you know into the way that you talk to him and still be confident in the seas it you so I want to make sure that you're always going in the spirit and Amen amen from behalf of our little and 1st team here all the misses our cows out there and all the Mrs Clarkson all of the all of our parents thank you mom and dad are our genetic parents and all the people that are printed us we want to thank you and for all those of you out there still printing in the cycling other children of Christ out there have hope and flow and trust that God's Word will not return void some a special warm warm episode of inverse hope you have been a blessing to you it's been a blessing to us to see you next week here in verse you've been listening to invest a Bible based on the same caliber as well Dr Jonathan Walter Sebastian Baxter the secret doctor or your host just an. Inverse is brought to you by the full time television that changes. But this and more inspiring episodes there's an inverse all to the large binders on social media. In verse 5 until next time this is enforced.

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