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Logo of Michigan Camp Meeting 2018: As a Witness, Matthew 24:14

Age and Behavior

Judy Shull


What to expect developmentally for different stages in a child’s life from toddler to teenagers. This seminar is for anyone who works with children.




  • June 19, 2018
    2:00 PM


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There Jesus thank you so much for bringing us here today we thank you for the cooler weather we thank you for the boys and girls you give us to be ministers to them please lead and guide and all that we do and in our fellowship and in our ministry to them in your name and my name is judicial and for 34 to 34 years I was teaching in the classroom part everything from 1st grade through 10th grade and a year ago I quit being in the classroom as principal at the Greater Lansing at the school and the December before my husband and I started praying about maybe my leaving the classroom to do an independent Ministry every sign from God says yes to that and so for the last year I have been working independently with childhood's with Jesus which is my own independent ministry that's been a lot of fun and it's starting to get very busy with talking to people about how do you keep kids close to Jesus and we're going to look at various ages one of the things I want to look at is safety if you're working with children. And if it's your church check with your church to make sure they're doing things that are going to protect the children in this day and age we can't take anything for granted and anywhere you're gonna put your children you want to make sure they're safe make sure your church has a safety plan and make sure you know what it is because these children in our care are in our care and we want to protect them also. Anywhere you're working in and again if you're taking your children to church find out from your church do they have a set of qualifications for somebody working with the children again that's really important that's why I'm going over that and what is the application progs process I just got done doing we did our D.B.S. already 2 weeks ago. And it was much cooler in our not air conditioned gym and I couldn't get up from the church and just say who would like to help I could for cutting out things through doing some shopping for a picking food but I could not do that for who would come and work with the children because we don't know everybody's background so if they're going to work with your children at your church you have to have a background check and if you don't know how to do that just call the conference office talk to the human resources department probably a net net and she will get them it's an online process but all if they're if they're in adventures or their in pathfinders or Sabbath school the people working with them need to go through all of those but I just want to take a moment to make sure your kids are safe now also look at your church or sometimes your daycare the infant to adult ratios 3 those tiny tiny babies if you have toddlers you need one adult to 6 children and I'm not sure you know that little boy in the middle that I showed you early on he's a toddler I think I need a one to one ratio with him because I have trouble keeping up and preschoolers those are the 345 year olds can. 10 children on to one adult and then for elementary and leisure in the classroom and then they can give you as many as they want but for some of the things that you might volunteer for at your church you're looking you know nominating committee they probably are already done with you but you really want to have one adult for every 12 children you're needing to deal with those are just some rules of thumb so if we look and I added 18 months into this one because my grandson who's 16 months some of the things that a 2 year old could do he could fall into and I'm looking at that I'm thinking it really is about where are they in their developmental stages somebody give you some ages and you have young children to go that does not match up with my child at all OK Every child has a different developmental stage that could come half a year early It sounds like your 4 year old is coming half in your late it will happen or is fantastic so hang in there for a little bit longer now you think so I always thought when they have 4 they were just little little people little bit more I'm having a great time with the grandchildren Unfortunately I get to babysit a lot. Please when you look at these numbers understand you're looking at it could be 6 months either side of that number. And not all children are all the same and they'll develop at different time frames. But some of those things some of the characteristics are really important to keep an eye on and let's take a look at this little age range their physical they move all the time and you're going to see that all the way through so once you write down move all the time that applies to all of them and I was I got to be over in the junior tent this morning junior to him telling the story and before the story those folks those leaders. They took them outside to do a little activity of matching and making a memory verse old they were keeping their juniors moving this is this is something we have to remember and if you have children at home there you are you know they move all the time they need room to roam So for instance our cradle Sabha school in Grand Rapids is the biggest room in the building outside the sanctuary because we need space for those little ones to move around but we can always tell when a child has been in train rule that a school I started kindergarten or primary because prayer will or beginners whatever you want to call it is where they learn how to sit down and listen to the children who don't have that experience and by the way shall encourage children to start going to stab a school as soon as possible and it took me 6 months to convince my my older son to bring his little girl without a school should love it she loved it so much that when her baby brother was born when he was 6 days old he was at that a school and you could see him listening to the song and just thoroughly enjoying the music because we do a lot of music at that age so encourage people to bring your their children to that a school that's a wonderful place and hopefully or Sabbath school gives them some room to roam and some activity. I also want to add to them they're at the stage their big muscles are beginning to develop but they're smaller muscles aren't Another words they're clumsy and Plessy and fall down a lot and I have this 16 month old grandson and he can't walk a straight line to save his life and we finally decided he always has to be going where am I going to go in it were my going next and he just staggers and swaggers and. We were kind of worried till we figured out what was on his mind and that's because he's looking everywhere for the next body wants to go and children are different in the family if you've got more than 11 you know that so maybe you have a good one who behave themselves that you're dealing with as a parent and the next one comes along and they're totally different and that's normal but it doesn't really prepare you for that 2nd one are you finding that out with your own children that they're very different our granddaughter didn't climb on anything our grandson climbs everything you have to watch very carefully because he'll be at the top of the thing without. Any kind of warning warning they do really enjoy those simple song and my grandson there some silly songs like the I enjoyed the I enjoy. When I would have him and try to get him to sleep I went through all the songs I could think of and he loved that one and so one day at home the little girl singing I N G O and her parents are going Where did you learn that at grandmother's how they love those little song so as you're working with them and helping them help them was. You would go to sleep and I think. And now I'll sing to him not public but to him and his mom was saying how do you get him to sleep so fast Well you have this routine in routines are tremendously important tomorrow my seminar we're going to talk a lot more about that but he knows that when I pick him up take a shoes off wrap them in a blanket and start to sing in Iraq and that his choice is 7 that he's going to have to go to sleep and. Which he usually does now cognitive and emotional. Then a really short attention span but it's longer than people give them credit for. I work with beginner Sabbath school so I have the 0 to 4 year olds on weekly basis and they. Some of them will engage for quite a while and some of them do have that short attention span again every child is different we might spend 5 minutes talking about a certain animal or certain group of animals or whatever our topic is and most of them will be deeply engaged but there is the one who doesn't have it and we're finding out more and more that has to do with green time they have that they're not able to they focus unless things are moving fast for them also with this young age group they want to do stuff without your help now that's for the older end of the group but they're going to try to express their independence they're going to try to put their own shoes on they're going to try to put their own clothes on. And it can be rather hilarious they try the my middle grandchild tries to put my shoes on and this week he actually tried to put them on the right direction that was that was new Usually it's he'll over tote but. As they get a little bit older and the 2 year old they start being able to recognise their name in print so they can I begin to. Start identifying some of those shapes and letters this is where they use the no word no now grandson at 16 months has started to say yes or yes so you ask the question the right way and he can say yes. But the longer you get into TOS which is why they get the name the terrible twos because they say no well that goes right back to they want to do it themselves they don't want to be bossed around and they've heard no a lot so if the child is heard no a lot they're going to use know a lot so as you work with your kids try to find ways to get the yes answer or having a good time yes you want to wear this red shirt yes you know just kind of help. And one of the things when my I have to stand obviously well to stand so I have the grandchildren and what we tried to do is we try to put as many things out of the way as possible so it limited the word know so that when we said no it was usually something they really had to pay attention to like they were going to run into something because they're staggering around like the coffee table or the wall or the floor. No you know stop you're in danger so if you can find less recent less things to say no about that becomes a much easier time for this age socially the 2 year olds everything is mine and all day long to me they have little concept of other people things or are right and I watch this with the grandchildren the 2 older one brother now comes and takes everything away from sister because of course what she's doing is little fun but she goes and takes everything away from him so she's kind of deserves what she bought him but they think that it's all belonging to them and if your children don't get along you can relax their normal bling rivalry and it's been around them well hopefully it all gets much better than what it originally was. We won't bring that up here. One of the best things to do with the kids is the strapped them again look for ways to not have to say no all the time so what we try to do is we look for ways to get redirect their attention they're headed for something they shouldn't do imma go oh let's go over here instead or they're wanting to go do something to annoy their sister and you say own Look I have something over here for you to do and just try to steer them into different direction because you know if you watch your child enough you know what they're thinking now a couple of years ago when I was in China working with some teachers there I noticed the babies were wearing diapers they just I 1st I thought it was terrible they had these little slips in their bottom and their clothes and their little backsides were hanging out all of cork or people but their clothes were designed like that so I said How do you know what's that for because well they start potty training them as infants so how do you know. You can tell by the look on their face OK but when that look comes there's not enough time hence the slip in the back of the clothes there's still not enough time because one time I was riding with somebody and their little baby was naked and I asked what happened and they ran out of clothes that day so it doesn't work 100 percent but anybody you ask they'll say just look at their face and you can tell what they're going to do it doesn't work when they're doing something and you can see the thought Pratt cross their eyes about what they're going to do to their sibling or where they're going to go that they shouldn't be going so watch their face watch their eyes and the more you get to know them the more you're going to realize when you've got to distract them. And then. This 2 year old age group they don't play together they play side by side and invariably they'll try to take whatever the other person has away from them but you do get parallel play a lot with the stage group and then that's really important to help them know that you love them and this applies to all age groups the best thing you can do is to help that child understand how much you love them and that you notice them some chance will do anything to get noticed and so I want to look for things that are positive so that I can praise them rather than scold them and doesn't always work but. If you want them to keep doing what you want them to do you're going to be a lot better off with praising them for what they're doing right rather than always making them know what they're doing wrong to Zen now they've got a whole bunch of stuff to figure out well what is she really want but if I say I'm all like how much you ate your food today and you didn't get up and run around that was wonderful or I'm very pleased with the way you picked up your toys you are certainly a big help and just keep reinforcing the positive which is a lot easier than Think it back in here and clean up you know and then spiritually. Children of this age can understand that God made everything they can understand a lot of things but they can understand that God made it and the Bible stories are true and it's really important that we don't tell children things that aren't true and say they're true and we know Santa Claus the Easter Bunny make sure that they understand that that's pretended because if we don't and we say that's true that's true and Jesus is true when they find out this isn't true and this isn't true how do they know Jesus is true because that was all presented to them the same way and just I really cringe when people are trying to convince children that Santa Claus is real and if you don't know that I should give you a spoiler I made an assumption if you have an adult dog 2 year olds mimic the butt tortie of adult dogs which may explain why the. Older grandson and the dog are best friends but that child is going to rapidly surpass what the dog understands like I have a dog and she understands a lot and watching the grandson as he's developing to that age in that understanding the similar to their very You can tell when you're going to go outside you can tell when you're going to go get water you can see if you're by the sink they'll come and look at you like the dog who says I want water you've learned to do some of the same things then if we move on to a 3 year old and I don't think I had that on your sheet because I added that one in after I had to send the 4 not be printed but again 3 year olds love to sing song if you have a few year old they're probably singing on their own some of the time. They love to hear simple stories and they love to hear simple stories about themselves. Many Sabbath I will we will go to my in-laws house who are $89.90 and take them Sabbath lunch and it's an over an hour trip for us after church and a lot of times the family with the 2 older grandchildren will go with us and so my husband and Involve me and we have a car now that has 3 rows of the and I'm in the back row with the 3 year old and and just both take a nap on the road sometimes that works but when it doesn't work she wants to hear stories about her in so I am you know her mom and I are trying really hard to remember all kinds of those simple Remember when you did this remember when somebody told you this and this is what you did those simple stories mean a lot to them and you can tell them stories. She loves Clifford the Big Red Dog book anybody know about Clifford and I know about it because my husband loves Clifford the Big Red Dog books and so he had them for our son and I have them for her and she will sit and listen to Clifford the Big Red Dog over and over and I was getting a little tired of some of them so we went looking for Clifford books and I couldn't find them so I thought OK when we go home will look on line in and I'll let you pick out so she got to pick out 3 Clifford books which when they came of course we had to read over and over well my husband had her last Thursday and he she said granddaddy can you go online and see if you can find Clifford the Big Red Dog goes on a holiday but 3 year old says Go online Well it's kind of what we did the last time we got a Clifford book. But those are the kinds of things they want to hear over and over there are some you know the Bible my Bible friends with orange spines perfect for this age group over and over those have those fantastic pictures and children will love to hear them and. They get to be a little more coordinated in the picture for picking up sticks in my front yard to scoop up about that I love it helped me get my yard cleaned up and hopefully little guy will staggering by that age now with our cognitive and emotional ability for a 3 year old they are actually able to identify colors most of them can do it before that but a young 3 should be able to they will repeat simple rhymes and songs so at Sevastopol you might hear some of the same sponsor in the week that were sung and satisfy all because incredible we keep the same program for 13 weeks because the children need repetition and when you change it it's really hard on them I've discovered. Because we lose the routine and that that's hard for them to adapt to they like to pretend they love to pretend. Unfortunately my granddaughters in the hospital visiting loved ones since she was a baby and so she has become a caregiver she can be a doctor she has her own little glove. Her poor barrister to heart practically all the time under her care he's got this injury or that injury and. She just because she watched it happen so much but they're going to pretend they may pretend you know whatever it is they see mom dad doing I frequently have to get in the cabinet to get out the plastic where to put leftovers away and my grandson thinks that's the toy box now so socially. Socially a 3 year old is beginning to interact with other children and. I think the early adventure program will sometimes if you have an older 3 they'll join that and that's great for social interaction if you have that kind of time to commit to it we just had B.B.'s where we took children 0 to 12 and if you're past 12 you were a helper and. The parents were there with everybody up until 3 year old and then the 3 year old it was fun watching them engage with each other by the Sabbath school so they could run around more and interact they like to share and take turns but it's not a habit so if you're teaching them how to share and you think they nailed it the next time they won't remember it then you have to reteach it and that's just something just plan on reteaching sharing and. It's very hard for them if they only have one of something to share it so like at Sabbath school what we'll do is we'll have 2 of the same thing and then it becomes an easier thing for them to share as they're learning how to share and spiritually they understand that Jesus was born as a baby and that God is good and when you talk to a 3 year old or a 2 year old you want to try and get down at their eye level because right now we just tower above them and as a grandmother I can sit down and hold them on my lap and as a teacher I'm probably not going to do that so I'm going to get down on my knees so when I met Sabbath school after make sure I'm wearing something that I can crawl around on the floor and. That I can actually get up and down and so it's not too tight. But we want to look be able to look them in the eye in this culture. In other cultures that's considered rude so whatever culture you're in find out what the cultural norms are so that the children aren't feeling that when you look them the you're insulting them and children who are 3 understand Jesus loves you because you're modeling Jesus to them whatever you're doing whether you're parents or grandparents a child caregiver whatever you're doing you're modeling Jesus and one of our D.B.'s ladies who is helping me she's social work in the public school system and she was able to hand out vs invitations where she worked I don't know how because it was in the public school system but. That was part of her way of letting her the children she worked with know she hear and she love them because she was inviting them to something she thought they would really enjoy then now back to your list if you're keeping track we have a 4 year old and again 4 year olds are amazing little people they are growing rapidly which can lead to some on coordination but they're also there's there's like a switch in their brain that's adjusting about that point and so they're beginning to understand more things again you want to give them space you want to give them time to do things in the lancing pool we had a 4 year old program they still have Oreo program and those 4 year olds would come in just a little if I needed a hug I would go into the 4 year old group because they love the people who are the adults in their life and that goes on for several years and then it kind of 8th graders they don't usually do so much hugging then they get took had amazing I'll do a little more hugging. But your 4 year old is going to grow rapidly they need space to move around they also. I think I had were things for for you. They love to explore and they're very creative so you want to give them the tools to be a creative you can get him outside that's wonderful and if you need a book nature the joy of nature I don't have it here but those are different activities to take kids outside you can take them out and just let them look in the grass for bugs it gets pretty exciting and there's a whole world out there if they just stop and look just as King Solomon pullup do the study the ant but there are a lot of other things hiding in the grass and kids need a chance to get out there and look at very important for their eye development to get outside because the sunlight in their eyes is important. Or something in the eye that matures because it gets light sunlight and it really neat how we were me but let them roam let on let him you know if you have different things for them to play with just they don't have to be highly structured this is a time where they can learn their numbers they can learn their letters but it doesn't have to be in a sit down school setting it should be in a fun way again they need to be able to get up and move and not have to sit in their seats Ellen White said over a 100 years ago that we need to let the children roam in the fields and not be tied to school until they are 998 or 9 and we can't do that as much today because mothers work or there's somebody not at home to take care of them so the best places to put them in are ADD and goal but we're going to keep that same concept of not tying them to their seat and making them focus on small letters and small world words and to try and keep that to these busy. Well one of the favorite words of a 4 year old is why and that is not rude when they become 8th grade it may not be rude either that the tone might be rude but they need to understand and so how you're in Explain something to an 8th grader is one way so a 4 year old is going to be a little different way but they sincerely want to know why something is like that why do I have to wear shoes when I go outside Well the summer not so much but it's snowing out there and your feet are going to get colds or going to put your boots on they're going to be why why why all the time and what a tremendous opportunity to learn that's pretty exciting your wish and your 9 year olds with start asking why a little bit more often then you're also going to see as they're going to say how so there is start looking at how things work together how did how do we make cookies how do we make the rules for Sabbath how doing turn on the stove Yeah. And then why why don't we do that because we want to keep that off they will also. Test they give you they're going to test the lines of acceptable behavior sure they are they're going to either test their teacher or their babysitter or their parents but they're going to find somebody to test and if they're testing you they trust you the most the take part with that and they're just trying to find out what the limits are and this is some of those things that you're going to want to talk to them about again good routine I can fix. They that enough this age group. Through about 9 even 12 desperately need routines because they need that predictability there are certain children who need routines more than any other children there are some my grandchildren are up here with me today because I'm going to get back to late and they've got to have a routine and their lights on next day is not fun so just remember that if you're having a little bit of trouble I know that if if your children are. Difficult It's probably be they need more sleep it could be their personality but it could also be a lack of sleep because children need 10 to 12 hours of sleep through the teenage years and one of the reason we have difficult teenagers is they're getting an average of 6 and a half hours of sleep that's does not help them actually at that age they're needing $10.00 to $12.00 and most of them are not getting that at all so they're very tired they're sleeping through school. That just as throwing their whole body just because society were in so if you think that your child needs more sleep it's very possible my older son needed more sleep than the younger son much to the older brothers discuss because he had to go to bed earlier so when he's 10 he's going to bed as brothers going to bed at the same time but that's later than what the brother you know at at 5 they had to go to bed at 8 at 1030 well the younger brother needing Leslie went to bed with the older same time a builder brother but then they got up when they needed to and that's an important thing to do for your family if you're having trouble getting them up in the morning. James Dobson said just put him to bed at 15 minutes earlier every night until they can get up when you want them to get up and that becomes their bedtime. That works amazingly well but you couldn't get up at 7 to be ready for school so we're going to go to bed at $839.00 it's the light out they still complain that they weren't and they were in academy before they could go to bed at dark in the summer. You also only grow when you sleep which may have been our problem because one went to 65 and went to 60 though maybe you want to be careful with how much sleep you give them then. No they have Dutch blood so I'm saying it came by it honestly but they did get enough sleep they're going to 4 year olds are going to test your limits like we talked about. And then. Socially they suddenly are able to do both activities which may be why your 4 year old is having such a great time it can't meaning he's got a group now and they can function more as doing things together instead of playing parallel they're playing with each other not always a lot of times you'll see them interacting some of this age group still want to play independently and they don't want to have to interact with others so again you're looking at your window you could be 6 months I had 6 months behind and in general around the age of 4 this is what's going on and then they love their teachers I told you that before you ever need a hug go into a 4 year old classroom. One of the things that you're going to do to help them spiritually and this is across every age so I'm going to reinforce that you're going to model Jesus for them you're going to model love for them you're going to model forgiveness for them you're going to model accepting them no matter what age they are at you're going to be the model for them. To let them know what what Jesus is like a 4 year old will usually try to please the adults in their life. Specially their teachers. And we want to give them a chance to be successful they're not going to be successful by our standards but they are going to be successful as 4 year olds they underdog and one of the the best suggestions I heard years ago was when you are doing an example of like for our craft or art project get somebody that age to make your example because they're going to do it based on their ability not based on your ability now I'm hoping that I do really well on a on a 4 year old craft but that could cause a 4 year old to feel like I can't do it because I can't do it by my fine motor skills aren't as good as an adult and so once you start letting the children make the example so what if the chickens nose is crooked and the eye surgery ripping it still to them is the chicken and the beautiful one of our we did have one of the kind who for B.D.'s this year and so we brought in different animals and we actually had baby chicks catch during the B.S. that was pretty good timing and one of our crafts was a was a little baby you know pompom chicken and put it in an egg it was so neat and I looked at some of those chickens and. You know when you're 4 that's a really good chicken and they would cuddle that little fuzzy thing and which helped them when they actually got to hold the real shit so help them realize success don't lie to them about it but you can tell them wall that is a really beautiful picture tell me about it my daughter in law with the 2 grandchildren is an artist and she's constantly asking the children. Tell me about your picture I really like the way blended your colors here tell me what you were tell me what you were thinking of when you did that you don't have to look and say What a bunch of scribbles What were you thinking there's a real story behind what they've done grandmother this is you. Looks like a brown range of mountains hey what am I doing. And then she has a whole story about what I'm doing and it makes sense but if I just looked at it from my adult life I'm wondering how she sees me but it was really we were playing together and something and doing something and so I asked them to tell you about what they're doing oh you fix them food why does it taste like you know the things I had to taste already but. Again we're looking for ways for a 4 year old feel successful in we're looking at it from a 4 year old point of view and nodded and all point of view spiritually they understand Jesus is God's Son They understand that relationship they understand we talk to God through prayer and most 4 year old son will close their eyes no one will not leave don't let them feel like they're evil if they are closing their eyes because when they talk to us they talk with their eyes open so yes we want to teach them to be reverent but that's something that makes them a little bit later my granddaughter will have some of the most beautiful prayers and half the time her eyes are open to the grandmother speaking at her as I'm watching how she's praying and just talk to Jesus from her heart it's really wonderful and sometimes she'll to sit there and stare off in talk to Jesus. And so there is an understanding that you can talk to Jesus like a friend you don't close your eyes with your friends so you don't close your eyes with Jesus and that's OK. We do want to teach that we do want to teach that we're respectful but let's not get hung up on some of these things and that 5 year old 5 year old. 5 year old has absolute coordination now in Grant and Lansing we would have 4 year olds 5 year olds and 6 year olds all the same room you know really tell the difference between a 4 year old and a 55 year old in their physical development and our 4 year olds only stayed for 3 hours it wasn't a you know it was a socializing event for them it was. They were there because they were having a great time and doing some learning and not sitting in from the television being babysat you know it depends on what's going on in your life a 5 year old will have excellent coordination they can put on their own shoes they may not be able to tie their shoes isn't Malco wonderful. I just love it when I see them come into school and they have Alcoa because I know I'm not going to be tying that shoe when I 1st started teaching. I had 1st 2nd 3rd and 4th graders It was great to say Show me again how you tie your shoes why don't you try his let me look at. The 4th graders could show off and I could work on somebody else's shoes at that point. They're getting better with scissors now you want to be really careful assessors. We love the round and the scissors we show him how to walk with those are Zor only set with scissors what's appropriate here is not even if mom has their hair they should not but they are starting to be able to cut things a little bit more at this is the stage which drives boys nuts but for the next several years girls are going to be developmentally ahead of the boys now one of the best things that. I heard from a well known speaker on education was that we process children through school as if. They were part of the factory so any child born in this year goes to these grades at this time just as if you know we're producing parts through a factory and so this part became ready at this age and we moved it through the factory line we kind of do that with kids we say oh you're 9 this is what you should be doing oh you're for this is what you should be doing naturally unfortunate because our children need to be able to move at their own pace which is one reason I love multi-grade classrooms because if a 2 if if a 3rd grader is functioning as a 2nd grader they can play with the 2nd grade or they get to review everything a 2nd grader is being taught and then at the catch up one day but to move kids along and just say OK this is where you're supposed to be they may not be they may be way ahead I've had 3rd graders doing 4th grade math before because they were ready to have as 3rd graders who can't do 3rd grade math yet that's OK they're not ready to we need to be accepting of that with kids because they're going to develop different things at different rates they may be way ahead in height. But there still you know they may look like a 7 year old but they're only 5 and so their reading ability or not reading ability is that of a 5 year old so you can't go by how they look we can't really go by their age when I'm trying to tell you these this is the way behaviors progress along and girls have a tendency to grow taller at this point and to be. More understanding there we had a whole class with only one girl in it and that was rough because you wanted that you like that boy girl ratio because you need the buffer zone thing with girls I have a I had a class of girl with 2 boys and I had no buffers to put between those girls so you know God made us all different for a reason and just because the girls are taller they may not need more. More advanced or they could and it's really hard on the boys so we got to be careful because a girl can throw the ball better than the boy the boy feels really bad like he's not ever going to be wary supposed to be so again praise them where they're doing things well and right and then. They can speak understandably if they most of them if you talk to them clearly they're going to be able to talk to you long before 5 clearly they also are looking for your approval and ask some open ended questions you can talk about recent events trying to help them recall with their their recall one of the really nice things I like to do with them is tell them a problem that I've had like. I was caught in a building and it was pouring rain and I didn't have a raincoat in and brawl and I know I knew it was going to rain whatever what do I What should I have done and I'm thinking again I think you know I look around and I found the newspaper and I put that over my head and I ran to the car so I'm describing a problem I didn't have a solution and what did I did do to find a solution that was a new usual solution this is something you want to buy 5 you want to start doing that with your children because it helps them with problem solving also helps them to know that even when they grow up everything's not going to be perfect right none of us have perfection Oh dear I ran out of this and I needed to put this in Sabbath dinner well I should have got it at the store but I didn't so what could I do instead and then it talks through your thought process with the children and this can start around age 5 so that they can start thinking about how they should go about solving a problem and maybe you're telling them oh and then I call dad and said What do you think. So I want to encourage them to think and we asked them why now if you ask kid why did you do that the answer is going to be I don't know I don't know who else asked a question slightly. Socially they can play together they're pretty good cooperate to play and they need attention so they're going to get your attention either positively or negatively so you're trying to catch them being good rather than catch them being wrong yes you have to watch out for when they're doing things wrong but they're going to do whatever they can to get your attention when kids are playing well together we tend to ignore them because it's going well but we need to be paying attention to that because they're going to turn until they get your attention they are able to do group activities and now they're able to make better eye contact spiritually they know their Bible stories if they've grown up in an Adventist home or Christian home they know their Bible stories and they can start answering those kind of question so who's the baby in the basket Oh that's Moses and what's going to happen all ferals daughter is going to come along and see him and then what's going to happen they're able to know those stories that well by this age they need things that are concrete and literal not abstract they're not going to understand. Things that they can't see and touch or have an experience and we want to help them as they grow in Jesus to to give them those kind of things they're able to learn their via Bible verses and they're slowly going to start wanting to become members of God's family but they're not really at that maturity level yet you want to help them to be confident that God is listening to their prayers and by all means show them when prayers are answered or when prayers are answered show them why that might be this is going to be very important for their their prayer life talk to them about God's love. Listen to them so that they feel secure. And begin to talk to them about God's love and enjoyment with them the more you listen when they're there talking not hocking nonsense the the granddaughter talks endlessly the difference between boys and girl and I'm trying to listen all the time and I'm trying to listen to other things but I'm overjoyed to think grandmother is her best playmate. And always good to do what she wants and again I'm going to tell you model God's love to them modeling Jesus is the most important thing we can do to teaching children about Jesus 6 and 7 year olds this is your 1st and 2nd graders typically again maybe not if you're doing your child at their growth it's not a solid you know you might put your child your son if you're homeschooling you might not be of more structured till they're 9 that doesn't mean they can't learn the curriculum but they don't have to sit down with a book. And when we have 1st the 2nd graders we try to keep them very active because it's to me it's wrong to make them sit at a desk all the time now we are brilliant idea let's put them on those ball and then they're constantly moving anyway and then he takes effect pills because they're constantly moving it didn't work out as well as we thought it was that was a that wasn't what they needed so much they needed it was good for some of them but the majority of eventually went back to 2 because that was a more comfortable thing for them. It is a time of rapid growth and with rapid growth comes an co-ordination so just take that emotionally they're growing independent they can do more on their own. They still want your approval the teacher you want to choose adult grandparents. Socially. Being 1st is really important to the station and if you want to go watch the sage group if you're unfamiliar with that go visit probably the kindergarten or primary K. 2 or primary and watch them line up. So you come up with creative ways to get them to line up to do things. Was about the sage when my son's didn't have to ride in car seats and it was before the age of booster seat and they always fought over who rode in the front seat. It was the stupidest argument we were going one mile and they had to argue about it and so my husband just said guys figure it out what you're fighting just figure it out and they did they decided that every time they got in the car and they could ride in the front seat they would split. And they didn't argue about OK this time you wrote a mile and next time. I only got to write a bile and then the next time you got to ride 10 miles that's not fair but they figured out that it all balance out at the end so they I didn't have to keep track of us saying they knew who was going to be in the front seat and that was being 1st is important so if you can figure out they have line order in 1st and 2nd grade you know your place in line to enter while you go to the end the line in the next person gets 1st in line and just be really careful when you make up your line order that people who want to push and shove each other are not next to each other cognitively they're very eager to learn all this is such a great learning age now they again think literally so you need concrete spiritually face to accept that God is present they need specific examples of Jesus so we're going to go through our Bible stories and talk about Jesus and if you're looking. North American division general conference is coming out with a brand new status cool series I believe the 1st of the year gray slacks will be going away and the new the prototype I saw the new one is much much better I'll tell you our church uses my Bible for we love that I think the juniors are using young disciple but if you want to take a look at my Bible 1st lady is over in the A.B.C. most days in she can show you a lot of stuff that they have you're looking for thing for that was full of great stuff there's also some things that you might use at home for family worship just a lot of really good stuff so you're looking for very specific things that showed Jesus. They are beginning to move from the ME TO WE which helps a lot and then they need those regular opportunities to pray and you've already been doing that with your boys and girls so there should be 2nd nature to them and again when you listen to their prayers they're from their heart a lot of them are not just the mechanical and that you might get as an 8th grader now if we move on to 8 and 9 year olds your 4th and 5th graders good coordination this this is what I'm told is the teacher's dream age so if you may be moving into the dream age but I'm going to tell you I was taught 3rd grade was the hardest grade and I've taught all the grades. And here's why 1st grade the odd years are always the hardest 1st grade is a challenge because they're new at it 2nd grade is a repeat of 3rd of the 1st. 3rd grade you have the biggest curriculum job you're going from everything to look at to having to write more and then 4th grade you're going to do a lot of repeat of the concepts of 3rd grade the next biggest jump is into 7th grade so just be aware of that don't be scared of it it's just something you're going to see their parents are going to go there just so well last year in this and they're going to blame you and you can say well cognitively this was a big leap for them so we're going to give them a chance to adjust and to learn and if they don't get it this year they're going to get it next year so OK There's nothing wrong this is just the. Way our curriculum go they are able to sit and work a little bit longer on saying or cleaning up their room or setting their Sabbath school lesson fairness is huge. Everything has to be fair they've got to have rule I would like a few rules in my classroom it's possible that was this age group I had to have a list on the board because otherwise it didn't matter you're going to train each other with kindness not up there you're not going to do it and I had to get some really picky with some of the rule you get one trip out of the restroom before recess unless it's emergency in other words you've got any time you want but I had to have that rule there because that was important to them so. That was the way to be fair all games had to have rule sometimes a really silly rule that applies as a rule it's OK. There is a value system I used to use stickers for currency and so they get stickers for all kinds of things stickers are cheap and I can see and I can just put them on their desk or something on a paper on their desk but they have to have a value system socially status is important that's why they always want to be 1st that has status and so they're going to jump up I know the answer I know the answer they have no clue they haven't heard the question but acting like they know it gives them status. So one of the things that I do is I have these cops little sticks and I write their name on it and I'll randomly draw stick and say OK do you do you know the answer draw another one that works all the way through 10th graders 10th graders love stick they love to have one year I didn't do that with my 10th graders and they came to the show where 6. I haven't done them yet can we do it for you. So just letting you know it goes on and on they're able to evaluate the alternatives this is where you can say do you want to play kickball or softball you want to play dare base or whatever else. On the river in the river on the bank you know they they can decide and again one of the best things you can do is get them all to write down their favorite game put it in a basket then let your student of the day kids are the one who needs the line every If they have. We called it the teacher's pet. When the boy went home and said so and so the teacher's pet. I thought I turned that on that's the teacher's pet and the mother came in all upset how come you have to pet. Well every day we have a new pet your sons they know on the calendar you write it down they know when it's their day to be the teacher's pet they get to draw the sticks they get to draw the games they get to be 1st in line they get to have prayer at lunch all the things that you fight about you just doesn't it to that child for that day next your life so much easier and then if you have it on a calendar the parents can't fuss at you because everybody gets the the teacher's pet for a day so. They're able to understand more than one viewpoint they're very creative I told you they're very creative at this point and spiritually they understand they need to stay here they they want they want somebody they know that they're not perfect at this point not because you've spent all your time telling them they're not perfect but they've come to that understanding that the world isn't perfect they understand the forgiving nature of God and because of that they're learning to forgive others in again we talk about how do you forgive do you say I'm sorry no no no no you sit down together and you work it through you say OK you're going to apologize What are you apologizing for what did you do wrong and there are consequences for what you did wrong and then you can ask for forgiveness and a child can choose whether or not they're going to forgive they don't have to forgive somebody who's done the wrong and then you say OK you've got these consequences how are you going to handle the situation differently as principal many a time I would have kids in my office who had done something they shouldn't do and it was stupid stuff nothing really bad but it was OK what did you do wrong why was it wrong how what are you going to do about what you did wrong. And what are you going to do the next time you get tempted to do that and what can I do to help you and then if you really need to we would role play what they would do or say instead let's practice with the couple times because it's not in your nature to do that or you've never done that before so let's give it a try and invariably I'd never have that problem with them again now the creative ones they would come up with new but if they can learn to forgive now let 1011 years ago a lot tan 11 year old systems 6th graders they're very active and curious again we've got rapid growth of their own for native This is why they tire easily your 6th grader may have to go to bed a little bit sooner than your 3rd grader when they were in 3rd grade because they're growing so fast they get tired and their kids are teachers of overworking them emotionally they can be moody this is just your tree hormonal. Patience is required like with every other group and take time to listen if you're listening to them at this stage they will keep talking to us teenagers this is super important because they're going to start being able to trust you and to tell you things so that they can come home from school or from pathfinders or whatever they're involved in and they can tell it all to you and that's what you want them to do because you're probably not going to have your eyes on them constantly at this age and he want to keep them talking so you've got to be a good listener. And we want to make sure they have a lot of opportunity to make choices I started this when my boys were 3 or instruments or do you agree to do you want to wear this short shirts or this shortened shirts whatever our choices I gave them I could live with either 11 of the things that bothers me the most is do you want to go to public school where you can play sports after school or do you want to go to the church school where they have more homework and then they let the children decide at 10 and 11 year old is not ready to make those kind of life choices socially they're more independent they've got to feel safe in other words you're not going to like a teacher is not going to put them down they need to be able to trust the people that bought their round they're able to sync abstractly they can look out there and solve problems and think and they have learned how to seek guidance from God You know they're there reading their Bibles a little bit more on their own that's a be a great time to be teaching them certain passages that are going to help them you know when they have to make a decision and then if we go to our pre-teens. Moodswings. Anger is common and a lot of that is formal So we've got to help them through that this may be a really good time to work on their diet because there are some foods that may trigger some hormonal changes faster so really watch and watch their diet and try and balance that out. In my career girls are much worse than boys but boys get it too they have a lot of fear and a lot of worry because they see their bodies changing and they're not looking like their friends. Girls are still growing taller than boys girls or boys suffer if their shore. Socially their peers are now more important than their parents or their teachers they're very self-critical they look in the mirror and think everybody's looking at them like that whatever they do they're talking into a mirror what they don't understand is nobody cares but some people do say some things that aren't very nice and then that really hurt they do desire guidance so they do need that friendship with the teacher or parent again you've got the growth for it with the awkwardness and then that leads to the low energy so many think you're preaching as being lazy they're just being normal Don't tell me. They are able to develop a personal relationship with God This is the 12 and 13 year old age and this is typically when they make the decision for baptism there is something that goes on the brain at that point bless it is the man or the boy or the girl who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of the nurse or sit in the seat of mockers we find that at the beginning of. Bullies happen 2 to 5 year olds are self-centered and I'm going to give you something if you can keep up the hang in there I've got it all for here. I didn't tell you that because writing is a good way to remember. 6 to 9 year old boys are very physical and girls are very verbal keep that in mind for Bully and to 12 year olds pay attention to what they're doing there's going to be pulling going on. Teachers are the security parents are the security and if the Michigan has a great link on their website to how to deal with bullying if you go to the miss the Web site you can get more on that some 16 says for the Lord watches over the way so the right has but the ways of the wicked will perish no they should not use that on the bully and help them understand that and help your child not to be the bully excluding others. Those 1st for New Years they get impatient with those who are behind what you want to do is create a sense of team 8 to 12 year old they want to be popular they need to learn how to be individual which is super hard at that age embarrassment 6 to 9 year olds they don't want you to focus on them. Try to avoid being critical look for other ways to help them see things differently. 10 to 12 year olds big peer influence we have to if people are being cruel we have to confront it though Romans 155 to 7 May the God who gives in durance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify God the Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ except one another then just as Christ accepted you in order to bring praise to God we've got to teach our kids this our kids need to learn that Romans 1513 May got be the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him This is for you parents so that you may overflow of hope by the power of the Holy Spirit calling God all the time parents do that teachers do it and if you want to know more about my voice this is the book I wrote this last year that is in the A.B.C. as of today and it's Eric and Adam in the big hole in the ground and it's a true story about that and yes my time is up. OK We're going to have a word a prayer. There Jesus thank you so much for the boys and girls that we work with that we love so much that you have given in to our care we ask that you will hold them dear to you and Grant has the with them as we work with them so that one day we may all be in heaven with you in your name in this media was brought to you by audio groups a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio version or you would like to listen to more sermon Please Visit W W W dot audio Verse dot org.


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