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May I Brush Your Hair: Making Your Marriage a Priority

Christian Martin Heidi Martin
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  • November 7, 2020
    11:00 AM
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Despite the uncertainty in the chaos that this World is going through, we must remember that this is our father's worst. Amen. You know, God is good. He is good all the time. And he still sits on his throne and no matter what happens, no matter who comes our way, God is still King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And as we Trust him, as we come in worst symptom, we can be certain that we are welcomed with. Open arms were welcomed with the arms of a loving father, who says, come to me, come unto me all you who are weary and are heavy Laden and I will give you rest. And so that's why you, we here living hope are so glad to be able to have a place where we can meet together as a people in the presence of God. Young children. Welcome. We have a Pathfinder Ministry that's so active in a children's Ministry that serves our children. We love family here at living hope. And because we love family, we believe that the family unit is a sacred, sacred piece component of the bigger picture, the church. And that's why my wife and I came to agree that share with you a message, a message of hope, a message of encouragement, a message that pertains to the very heart of the family unit, to husbands and wives. We. We fell and press to be able to share a message with you here today, HEIDI is getting all hooked up with her audio. There she is, you know, on a regular basis. You know, it's very rare. In fact, basically never happens that, that I stand behind a podium ready to preach, and to have someone up here with me, much less my beloved wife. You know, in, you know, it's on most occasions that you know, she's sitting right about on the 3rd Pew to my right. And I'm over here and but day to day I'm Blessed to be able to stand with her and her with me as we share with you a special message from our Hearts to Yours. And as we began, Let's go have, go ahead and have a word of prayer and ask for God's blessing. As we get started here today. Let's pray father in Heaven. Here we stand together and we're so thankful that you have brought US here from different areas, but for one common purpose. And that's because our Hearts want to be loved and want to be drawn close to you, our God, and our creator. And as we worship you here today, Lord, we pray that the spirit of God would come in and Minister to our Hearts. We thank you, Lord, this is your time. We're in your home and we thank you in JESUS name. Amen. You know, we came across a true story that perfectly illustrates the, the marital and biblical principles that we want to share with you here today. So. So anyone to share with US this story that we found so so powerful? Well, there was a woman, she was sitting and the Knoxville TENNESSEE Airport, and she was waiting to board a plane. She tried to keep from staring, but he was such a sight, humped over in a wheelchair skin and bones dressed in clothes that obviously would have fit much better when he weighed 20 pounds more. His need for protruding out of his trousers and his shoulders looked like a coat Hanger was still in his shirt. His hands look like tangled masses of skin and veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and his nails. His hair was stringy great hair and it hung well over his shoulders, down his back and his fingernails were long but clean, but strangely, out of place on an old man. So there she was sitting there about just 4 seats from this man. When all of a sudden see sense that God was telling her something, something very uncomfortable. She began to think herself, Oh no. Oh no. This could potentially be very embarrassing. So she started arguing with God. She said, Oh no God, please, no, not right now. Please don't make me witness to this man. Not right here. Not right now. Please Lord, I'll do anything. Please put me on the same plane with this man. All sitting next to him lawyer. But don't make me witness to him right now in front of a gazing audience. And so she heard it. She heard that voice very distinct, very clearly. I don't want you to witness to this man. I want you to brush his hair. The words were so clear and her heart just leaped into her throat and her thoughts begin to spin like a top. Then she looked up to God and she said to God, I don't have a hair brush. My hair brush is in my suitcase that's already in the plane. My surprise how my supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush? God was persistent. Didn't stop speaking to her and the next thing you know, she found herself kneeling in front of this man. Right in front of everyone, Super man, I have the pleasure of brushing your hair. He looked back at her and said, why did you say may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair? To which he responded in volume 10 a little later. If you expect me to hear you, you're good, have to speak, go loopy. Louder. At this point, she took a very deep breath and she blurted out, may I have the pleasure of brother seeing you know her? At which point every eye in the place. Darted right at her. Isn't that so true? Every AH is is captivated by an Act of selfless kindness. Why? Maybe it's because it's so rare in human relationships. And today we want to invite every, I think that's here today. To take a close look to examine your own heart in light of the biblical principles that we want to share with you here today. Some of you may be applying these principles to, to your own personal life. Some others of you might be applying a lot of these principles to, to a relationship. You are n.. Yet most of you here today may be applying this in your own marriage. As we consider what it needs to brush your spouse's hair. And to make it a priority in your life, you know, making someone a priority begins long before the I do so long before marriage. So Yes, it does. You know, I have met HEIDI a few times in my life as a youth pastor in MICHIGAN. But let me tell you this, and this is a, this is raw footage here. Raw footage. I Gotta tell you this for me to have actually gone to her graduation. Not really knowing each other. We were just getting to know each other but for meter. So up at her graduation and then he called me up and said, can I come to your graduation? Can I call my mum mom? There is a God. I was glad my gradualism my College graduates. And yet to God it was to come near my graduation. What do you think? And so pretty bold because not only, not only was her entire family there, but her closest friends. And I was not anywhere near that League. Bad, bad, bad group, bad that enter that inner circle, you know? But you know what though, I'll never forget. I'll never forget the evening that we actually spent together the night before. Ah, so now for the rest of the story, you see we had decided to actually meet up the evening before and drive together to the shores of Lake MICHIGAN, which worse not very far from Andrews University, just a couple miles and, and we pulled into the parking lot and we walked over to the lifeguard post that was there in the shore and we climbed up to the very top. And we spend an hour or 2 hours robbery was going to this. And we lost track of time. We were just, we were so going gates in conversation that we didn't realize that time was his passing, flying by we lost track of time. Why, why did we lose track of time? I'll tell you why. Because something, something clicked, something clicked, we gave ourselves of the invited full attention and because something clicked, I found myself spending more and more and more time with her finding any and every opportunity I could have to use to be with her. And sure enough, sure enough, that would be the case. I would get those 2 little kids there. You know, we spent time together, even though I lived in Battle Creek for those who know MICHIGAN. I lived in Battle Creek and she lived in berrien Springs. The distance to be in the scene between the 2 locations was about an hour and a half. Right. And I was a youth pastor in Battle Creek Tabernacle. And this was the thing I would try to come up with every possible excuse to take my youth group to do out groups in the UN enter territory of Bury and spray system. And we need to go up there about how I convince parents to sign permission slips. I don't know til this day, but we would get in the US and know this Van and drive all the way to Perry and Springs. Do Ministry there. Because I wanted every possible chance to run into HEIDI who was one of the campus Ministry leaders have Andrews University. So it was very, very practical and very convenient for youth pastor to plan outreach events with the campus Ministry director of Andrews University. You see, and we truly spent a lot of time together and the question is why, why were we spending time together? I'll tell you why, because she was becoming it MA, a priority now fast forward, fast forward 20 some years later. And she's still my priority today. She's still my preferred to. The only question is now, do we have the perfect marriage or you know what we have made a perfect comment meant to our marriage, to detach that. The perfect commitment, you know there's, there's all this enough, Gotta understand that difference. There's a significant difference between perfection and commitment. Big difference. That difference is there when it comes to our relationship with God. Because as we journey with God, if anyone does trip up and fall, there is one who picks US up as we continue this journey with why, because we're committed. And if that's the case in the spiritual realm, I'm here to tell you that it's also true, very true in the context of marriott's. It's so true, it's so true. Why? Because when it comes to marriage, there is a journey that will include mistakes and plenty of Yes, we do not have a perfect marriage, but a perfect commitment Tonight, I'm reminded of the wisest man who wrote proverbs and, and one of those proverbs that just really, really speaks to me as a disciple of CHRIST and he was a husband. Proverbs 2416 tell says that even if good people of all 7 times and I might add even of good married people, fall 7 times. They will get back up again. Can somebody say, man, you know, in other words, we completely make mistakes completely. Did you notice I intentionally, he used the word completely because 7, after all, 7 means biblically speaking, completeness, and s. are we salt we trip up in this journey called marriage? There is a messy middle in marriage. We all experience there's no way around it. But we get back up again. Why? Because the jewelry of marriage, the jewel of merits is worth making it a priority. And it's as we pick up a brush to brunch each other's hair there. We're going to glean from this word picture for lessons, for practical concepts, the web server, the questions of why what, how, when, and who of making marriage of priority? That's right. So Let's begin with that. Why, why should we make our marriages a priority? Why? We'll tell you why. Because it's your most treasured possession. Accepting 2 percents, one another as a treasure was a vow, very sacred vow, of our that was made before witnesses. And before God, a choice, a choice to set her apart from all other women, a choice to set him apart from all other men. And taking a bow before God himself to have and to hold from this day. Forward to possess one another as a treasure in the best of times. And the worst of times when we have plenty of money and when we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. When we are sick or in good health, loving you chairing she New to the bed. This is why marriage is more important than any other personal relationship. But what about the what? The, what of making marriage a priority? What must I do? Well, to brush my spouse's hair, I must take notice I must observe as discerning pay attention to perceive, be aware of, find a fascination with and be curious about all of those words describe what it means to notice something or someone when we 1st meet someone we seem to have no problem taking notice of them. So true. I'm going to College. I noticed her 1st did I did. She was sitting in the, in the church at a wedding, a wedding of a mutual friend. And so we were both there and I noticed her 1st in, in fact I was on the left look out for her because I had heard about her. And there's who was, I finally saw her. She was sitting about 4 pews in front of me. And all I could think about was how my can start up a conversation with her. How I'm going to, how many going to break the ice and you know what it didn't happen that morning or the afternoon never was it didn't happen at the church during that wedding. In fact, it would soon happen at the reception at the wedding reception, which was at a different location. So we had to drive there. And wouldn't you know it? We coincidentally arrived at the same time. We coincidentally crossed paths as we headed to the gathering area. We coincidentally, sat down together, he Magine that I think we were even in line together getting food somehow or see. We coincidentally, let me just cut to the Chase. We spent a whole evening together. That's one other time. It's a lot of Juicy details, though we'll share that time. Another time in another place. My point is this. My point is this. It was obvious that we know that is each other. And no, of course not. It was not a coincidence, not at all. In fact, it was very intentional and very providential. That's right, and you know what? That's a major part of what draws US to one another. We're very keen, we're in tune with each other. We spend a lot of time talking together. We spend a lot of time looking for the other person hoping to run into them, hoping the phone rings, hoping we get a text on our phone, learning about them. But noticing the other person's likes and dislikes. Yes, I got wired to US to be social beings to desire that relationship, that connection to click could somebody. It happens. It's an innate desire they got is given and that's right. We start to win each other's Hearts and affections. But then somewhere along the road, something happens after the I do after the I do. That's right. How we never dreamed would happen to US. We start to Wonder, how is it that I got into a marriage? Was someone who I love and who loves me. And it seems like I have become invisible to them. Have we changed? Has he changed? Have I changed? How can I get him to notice me again? As he or she still love me? You know, sadly we came across a stat that, that was pretty surprising. But maybe not 31 percent of married people, 45 years old and older, reported being lonely. This is According to 2018 National survey of adults conducted by the a.a.r.p.. And that was 2018. Imagine though, since the start of this pandemic which has cost this social distancing causing US to actually just have our lives turned upside down. Imagine how the stats have actually changed, probably just within the last year. For the worse. Many well under that age are lonely. To what happened sometimes some time over the years they stopped being fascinated by one another. For some reason something happened, they no longer were curious about each other. They were no longer pursuing one another trying to be known and to know. And then they stopped noticing each other. Notice that to brush my spouse's proverbial hair. I must take notice. But when what's in it for me becomes my sole focus. It is impossible for me to take notice of you. In order to brush my spouse's hair, I must take notice of the areas of where they are hurting. Have you ever tried to brush someone's hair and you run into those the rats. You just can't pull through that hair. Well, when I take notice of my spouse, there's rats, we're all messed up. Every single one of US. It's best though. None of US are perfect bright. So in order to brush that hair, when I notice that there's a rat, I have to care for that thing. I Gotta take care. I can't tell her. We were ripped through that. They were the Lady in our story. She didn't just race up to that Guy and say, you know, you need your hair brush, your hair looks terrible. Wear your brush, get it out. Let me work on you. You know, your hair is a remembrance. You are terrible. That's not how we treat our children either is it when we're trying to brush through their hair? But sometimes we find ourselves treating our own spouses that way. Instead of caring, we yell instead of taking time. We push, we get impatient. When we take notice of our spouses needs, we are caring for their heart. What does my spouse need from me today? Right now? What can I do to show my spouse that I'm here with him or her? One thing that I thought of when I was writing this that really spoke to me was this line right here. When I step outside of me, I can then step into you. And notice you again, you know, that thought of outside of me. It's actually very biblical, come with me to Philippians, would you come in your Bibles to the Libyans are going to take a look at a biblical principle that speaks to the very heart of, of taking notice of the other thinking outside of me for libyan's chapter 2, for Libyans chapter 2, verse 3, for libyan's chapter 2, verse 3. Notice this principle that Paul writes a principle that speaks to the very heart of the disciple of CHRIST, the very heart of the one who claims to be a follower of JESUS. But friends, I think it speaks to the very heart of marriage, but nothing Big done through selfish ambition or conceit. But in loneliness of mind, let each esteem others better than themselves. You know, when I read that passage and read it in the context of marriage, it actually spoke to me in a way that it really it not. It had not spoken to before because that very tax, which had read so often in the context of, of my relationship with my brother and my sister in the church. Little did I think of that concept in the context of my relationship with my wife. In the context of marriage and that verse spoke to me straight. It's a Christian. Do nothing, nothing out of selfishness or conceit. But in humility, Count your wife, HEIDI, better than your sound. When the spirit of God spoke to my heart. In that verse, he spoke to me in a very powerful way. You know, Dr. Gary Smalley stated this. He said, true romance is a deep, lifelong fascination with your mate. And she renewed your curiosity, your wife, or husband wall to become more of a learning your spouse and your marriage relationship are always changing. There's something New to discover every day. Being a lifelong student of your spouse and learning, all you can about him or her is the most romantic gift you'll ever give on any day of the year. So the 1st up and being noticed is to actually take notice, I'm sorry, back up the 1st step in me being noticed is for me to actually take notice of the one that God has given me. So let me, Let's ask ourselves a question. What kind of noticing feels good to your spouse? I asked Christian that question. I said, what kind of things feel good to you when I notice you and his 1st response was, I like it when you appreciate projects that I do well and you tell me, do you notice, right? Going to any other guys relate to you know to this that I did something and I did a good job tell me say that he also likes it when he gets home from work and he walks in the door and I'm there and I say, Hey, I'm so glad to see you, how was your day? And I, you know, it matters and I know he also likes it when there's food to eat. I noticed that he was hungry, I got him something to eat, you know, many other things. But those are just some of the things that every so often. And often it does happen at church pop looks often happens that I'm the last one to enter the Fellowship Hall came by then by then the serving table is nowhere to be seen, but then and I could do better. But then the homeowner ability moment, do you do it after I do, my dear HEIDI has noticed that I haven't been there yet. And she prepares a plate with a napkin right over it. Ready for me to sit down and eat. When I arrive, you know, noticing feels good to the other, but it takes thinking outside of your self to be able to meet the needs of the others. And I have asked me that same question. What, what are the things that make you feel the best make you feel noticed more than other things and simple things. It's one of those is just reaching in, holding your hand and even holding it at any time at any place means the World to her. She's told me that she loves it when I put my arm around her. Why? Because she's noticed by me, you know him. And there are those rare occasions where rather than standing here, I'm sitting over there and I'm sitting right next to my wife. And I know I've been married now for 20 years, being a pastor for 20 years, a preacher for 20 years. And I know I've learned that if we're saying together at church, it will be the greatest sin gift I can give her to put on the women around her. I know she loves it, and I love to do it myself and telling her that she looks beautiful. I know that just fills her heart with Joy and even spending you've asked for 15 minutes, 15 minutes of undivided attention for her. I know that means the World to her. And so because I know that I will take notice and be mindful of ways that I can feel her Cup. Then I can fill her her heart. Why? Because I'm taking notice. That's right. So to brush my spouse's hair, I must what? Take notice. So Let's continue now with the how the, how of making marriage a priority to brush my spouse a scare. I must be. Well, I must take notice and I must be gentle. I must say, be gentle in his book, the revelation cure. We now relationship psychologist Dr. John gottman reveals that when it comes to assessing the meaning of what their partners are saying, it only 7 percent of the meaning comes from the spoken word. While 38 percent comes from the tone of voice and speech pattern, it's the non-verbal US or rather just merely the way we're to expressed communicates volumes to the spouse, words that initially or may seem New troll may seem you know, small well, they become provided to his spoken with sarcasm or demeaning to home. Contemptuous tones of voice, causing the listener to feel heard and does respected. But speaking words with an appealing to own, with the gentleness to it can be powerful words. Yet to some of US, I know that gentleness is a foreign language for some we didn't grow up in a home where gentleness was practiced and so you just have no idea where to begin or how to express it because it feels very awkward and you feel out of place, it's not the context that you were raised in or born in. So how can we begin? How can we began to be gentle when Unkindness is mostly all that we know will have some encouraging news. Some really good news, and that is this. I want to be quick to point this out. That gentleness is 1st and foremost, a fruit of the Holy spirit. It's not a dream that my parents passed down to me. It's not something the app to I have to try to cultivate more and more because I have to just make it work. Wait a minute, rely on the power that is higher than US. A power that comes and abides in US and begins to change US. You see gentleness, it's even compatible. Torah carnal nature. The Apostle Paul says English and $522.23. Why don't we read it together? But the fruit of the spirit is love, Joy, peace, 4 Barris. Kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentle. This as self-control. So how can I expect gentleness to start coming out of me? Well, we need to remember this. It continues to be the work of the Holy spirit to put that gentleness in our Hearts. Yes, we cannot do it without him. And in turn, it will start to come out, just like LUKE $645.00 says, we overflow whatever is down inside and we start asking God to put that in there. That's going to start coming out. That gentleness is going to start coming out. And the truth, this is that how a conversation begins can determine whether it's going to be successful or a failure. Central conversation starters make all the difference in the World. And the reality is that, you know what you want to get across, you know, what needs to be communicated and you know what the other needs to understand. That's clear. But did you know the power of taking that content that needs to be communicated and simply crafted or package it in gentle tongues? Gentle conversation starters make all the difference. Let me give you a few examples. Honey, when I am about to say, may be difficult for US to talk about, but we need to because it's important or, or another one would be you. I know that you see things differently than I do. But I'd like to try finding some common ground or, you know, honey, this is, this is going to be easy. Some going to be easy for me to talk about. So if I don't get my words right, police, be patient, give me a chance to do so. It makes all the difference. Content that needs to be communicated, but done in a way that is gentle. Now I know about you, but we've learned that gentleness doesn't come easy at the end of a long day when you're tired. When we are weary at the end of the day, can I get a witness? Who things at work have maxed stressed out to the MAX. We have these things that we had to deal with that work or other things and. And at the end of the day, we've put out a lot of hurt or GEE, and we're just about done that just makes US prone to her for words. So for that reason, when possible, we intentionally choose not to bring up any kind of important matters. After a bad time, after we've just basically turned off the lights and just talk, we don't bring up things that have cost havingness or we're dealing with life, which is kind of leave that those things for Tomorrow. And it's worked quite well. You know, gentleness is ultimately a choice, a choice that we are capable of making up of when we're filled with the Holy spirit. It's a choice that we have what it takes. It will only because we can do all things through the Holy spirit who abides in me and produces that fruit. You see sometimes love means causing discomfort, resulting in those tense moments for the health of our marriage. We know there is something that we do need to talk about. It's not going to be easy. In fact is going to be painful. But for the sake of the health of the marriage, I need to communicate these things to my spouse. But even then we have a choice, a choice to be made. We can be honest without being gentle. Which is like performing surgery without anesthesia Out's out. You know, well we get it through, we actually get the words out, but it causes unnecessary pain. Or we can choose to be tender, choose to be gentle, to be one who speaks and acts with such strength that there's no need to, you know, protecting our spouses dignity. In fact, true, gentleness is very power. It's very power. So to brush my spouse is fair, I must be what every woman Shinto. I must be gentle and I was Russian to. And now for the when of making marriage a priority to brush my spouse's hair, I must do it often, 3rd principle. Sometimes we think that once we're marriage married, we don't have to pay any more attention to taking care of our marriage. The I love You's become less the I'm Sorry's start to disappear in our marriage, falls into a state of total disrepair. It's like hair that hasn't been taken care of before long it becomes ready then matted. Then on brushing will then the lice move in negative thoughts. Move in and you have to do drastic things to get it to look right then you do not get a classmate and write up friend in school. Shouldn't take care of her hair. And one day she came to school bald place or heart, I felt bad for you come to find out. She bets the consequences that happens like US. And that's what happens to our marriage. When we fail to take care of the small things, they start stacking up and getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And after a while we got to cut this mess off and start up all over again with a clean slate. How can we do that? We need to start saying, again, I'm sorry, I love you. I admire you. You're important to me, you're special to me. Don't withhold the words of affection. Every single spouse needs to know that they're loved and cared for. And you know, would strew to that, that emotions will follow words, you know, Re serving myself or keeping myself from expressing words. Because I'm waiting to feel like it. I'm with, I'm waiting for a motion to be the motivating factor. Well, often times that might never happen, but words expressed will be the locomotive that engine that brings with it the emotions that follow. So imports over here to tell you to start kissing OK. We want you to start hugging often after often, and we want you to be physically intimate often. And we want you to talk through challenges and disagreements. Often often do be put off to the side. And when you cannot work it out between the 2 of you, what do you do? Something that has been our practice now for what nearly 20 years is that we actually every where we relocate to whenever we move into a New town, a New city, one of the 1st things we do is look of a local Christian marriage. Counselor. What counselors are in the area and believe me as a pastor is not to prefer members than others to that counsellor. And in the know that aside, it's about how to use spot US. It's about US. It is one of those things that has been such a blessing in our life. And we don't, we always have a counsellor, we can talk to. And what for so that we can actually process those, those, those rough spots that will come sooner than later. It's not to say that our marriage is on just on the edge and it's just going to fall apart where we're done. No, no, no, no, we want to get there far from here. We're going to have our from there. But just to simply tuneup. Just just just fine tune in our marriage and put that, that you know, that freshness in that will well oiled machine called marriage. We want to be able to keep it in the tip top condition. It's like having a Doctor for your health. It's like having a hairdresser, a Barber for your hair, really? It's like having a plumber for your House. It's like having a mechanic for your like fact check Tech, we have all these how we also. But wait, what about our marriage? What priority does that have? It's interesting to me and I'm a licensed clinical social worker, so I have a passion for marriage and family and we still are how we see really different tessler because it has to be outside of our circle. That's where I have to be that 3rd, and it's interesting to me that many people say will. I would never talk to anybody about my problems. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I don't know if it's, I'm above or you know, I, this is private. But in order for there to be a healthy relationship, there must be complete and total transparency right here. There cannot be see, it's here. Otherwise, this relationship starts to break down. And so having a counselor that's outside of US during rough spots will fine tune our marriage so we can get back to enjoying the good times together. So what about those date nights we're moving on to date nights. How often should they be? Well, I did a little bit of research and I found that once a month seems to be the magic number of 10000 copies of couples that were studied by the marriage Foundation. They found that couples who had one date night per month had the highest odds of staying together compared with other groups. So what do you do want to date night? It was how you told me that stat. I was like, Nah, Let's go back to that you, you read it wrong. There's no waves one so most. I mean, I would say once a week and he thought about it before or before marriage and you, you, I'd that person that you want to get to know. You mingle, you need to, you start spending time together. Are you kidding me? The average, the average person was dating every single date, at least every other night. At least at least once a week on Saturday night. You know, you're going to spend time with your significant other. You're kidding me, that once a month that alone made such a huge impact in married couples is a huge before. It's all simple. I mean, exactly once a month is a reachable goal, right? You can, you can do it. I mean, we can all do it if we have kids. If we're doing once a month, we can get childcare. I can plan ahead, we can do this and it doesn't have to be just eating out. You can eat out, there's nothing wrong with that. We've done that many times. What other things that we've done? Well, I remember one in particular, there's been some really cool ones, but I remember one in particular, I want to share with you. We decided we were going to show up at target and we were going to take like 10 Bucks. I think it was. And we were going to go through the store and we were going to pick out anything. We could think of that anything that's a little guest is missing anything because that is we could get. So we got all that stuff. You know, we didn't spend a lot of money on this. Ok. It was just just for the fun of it and we got our bags and then I remember we went back to our car and we sat down and we started. You know, OK, we're going pull out one thing. You're going to pull out another thing to go back and forth, and Christian pulls out this bear and it says, you're number one. And I've had it with this is like, I think we, we got to do this again by the way. It was really fun. But I think this bear, and this was about 15 years or so easily, 15 years old. And this affair has sat on our bed and we named it no bear, no prayer, one bear. That means you're number one in my life. And every time we see it, every mine's US, I'm number one to him and he's number one to me. This came out of a simple, cheap, special date, night date night. Doing something different, spending time together growing. Why do you want to do date nights? Why it helps you remember why you fell in love? It helps you to lay the Foundation for reigniting passion in your marriage. It helps you to build resilience, to carry you through the rough spots. You're building happy memories. When you do these things, you're building memories that will carry you through times when things aren't going so Hot. And it puts you back on the same page, dating, facilitates communicating often. Have you ever heard of Q? I may Q m a stands for quarterly marriage alignment, or you might want to call it why a yearly marriage alignment. It does not work. It creates blow ups. It creates drama because if you go months sweeping the problems and the issues under the rug, putting it down, not thinking about it, trying to ignore it. Those things are going to Fester, they're going to grow and they are going to come out. We want to encourage you instead of q.m. a, we want to encourage you to go as q.. Settle matters quickly. We're going as some q. are settling matters quickly. That is God's way. He says, don't let the Sun go down on your anger. That is good sound biblical. So Yes, I do it often. Well, one might ask, but for how long do I have to do this often? Well, Paul answers in his inspired writings, known as the love tempter. 1st Corinthians, $138.00, says in 3, short words, love never. And love being never ends. So to brush my spouse's hair or I must do it how many times often I must do it often. Yes. And now now for the who of a prioritized marriage to brush my spouse is here, I must have JESUS. I must have JESUS, it was JESUS who said, where your treasure is. There your heart will be all. So Let's apply that to our subject here. Because when you're spot, it's your treasure. When your spouse is your treasured possession, your own heart will be right there with her voice. You see, but it gets better, it gets better. Because the Weissman Psalm, he said in ecclesiastics chapter 4, verse 12. Though 1 May be overpowered, 2 can defend themselves true. But then he goes on to say, a chord of 3 stretch is not easily or quickly broken. So when, when your treasure, when your treasure is CHRIST and your spouse's treasure is also CHRIST, then the 2 your Hearts will be in CHRIST. As he fills your Hearts, your love tank with his love and your marriage will not be quickly broken. And you know, life is busy. Of course it is. Life is very busy. We have errands to run, we have work to do. We have laundry, we have food to prepare, we have cooking meetings, the list goes on and on and on. But if I'm trying to get to the place where I can home believe, choose or humbly humble myself rather to make my spouse a priority, it can only happen as a result of humbling myself before God which only resells from knowing him to know, God is comes as a resoled of humbling myself, pride is like that wall that keeps me from knowing God. My will becomes more of greater importance than the will of God. When I choose to humble myself and to Mysie begins to take place, intimacy with God. So how can I know if I am in love with JESUS? How can I know that he is that priority relationship in my life? It doesn't take much. At the end of the day, the Holy spirit can answer that question for you. But let me, let me share with you just a few simple questions that can be asked in being able to know the condition of our Hearts question. Are you mindful of Jesus' press and steering your busy week day? Do you have a deep interest in reading the Bible? Do you have a meaningful prayer of life? Do you sort of side quality time to open your Bible when you get up in the morning? Sometimes I think we struggle with devotions maybe because we think, well, you know, I got to do it for an hour. An hour is wonderful. I I love an hour but, but let me not sell myself short. If for some Crazy reason, I don't have an hour today and I only have 5 minutes. Let me just not walk away and do nothing. Let me just sit down, open the word, get out my Sabbath school lesson, read steps to CHRIST. Anything that is going to bring me closer to my Lord, let me spend just a few minutes depending on how much time I have getting to know JESUS better, it will impact your life in only positive ways. As you, as JESUS becomes a priority to you and your relationship with him, there is something that is going to happen. You just know, I have been, something's going to happen. You just know it something clicks, you know, when I 1st met HEIDI, that click happened. We clicked, I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with her to talk to her to just walk with her to be in her presence. Matt, to fall in love with her. But because I was falling in love with her. I wanted to spend that time with her, the click was there, and with JESUS in the picture, he ignites our Hearts with a different kind of love, a different kind. Romans chapter 5, would you come with me to Romans? Romans chapter 5 is a special kind of love. Is this different kind of love Romans chapter 5. Let this verse just speak to your heart in the midst of your marriage. In the midst of relationships with your fellow brother, your fellow sister, in the midst of your relationship with God. Now hope does not disappoint because the love of God, that pure selfless love, conditional expression of love has been poured out in our Hearts or our Hearts by the Holy spirit who was given to US. So love of God fills our Hearts and he abides in US. So what we have discovered today is, is surely nothing but a dumb thing. It's not rocket science is not something that, that we could just know. It continued to ponder and be mindful of. On the contrary, they're simple concept concepts that could be taken to heart and the Holy spirit to bytes and US. It makes all the difference. So what we have discovered is that I brush my spouses when I brush my spouse is here, I must take notice. When I brush my spouse's hair, I must be done till Mornin. I brush my spouse's hair. I must do it often. And last but not least, when I brush my spouse's hair, I must have JESUS. And why? Why I will tell you why. Because your spouse is your most treasured possession. Remember our friend in the Knoxville Airport. Well, she took a deep breath and she blurted out to that man 3rd, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair. Her face was Crimson, her forehead was breaking out beads of sweat. She watched him as he looked up at her with absolute shock on his face. And he said, if you really want to know, well see, I honestly didn't want to, but God pressed her heart. And till she could only utter the words. Yes SIR, I would be pleased, but I have a little problem. I don't have a hairbrush. I have one of my pet theories spotted. So she went around in the back of that wheelchair and she got down on our hands and knees. And she started digging through that stranger's old, carry on, hardly believing what she was doing. She stood up and started to brush the old man's hair. And I, she did it. A miraculous thing happened. She recalled everyone else in the room disappeared. There I was. There was no one else alive for those few moments except her and that old man. She brushed and she brushed, and she brushed until every tangle with out of that hair. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as a baby's hair. She slipped up brush back into his bag and she went around to face him. She got back down on her knees and she put her hands on his knees. She said, SIR, do you know my JESUS? And he said, Yes, I do. He explained, I've known him since I married my bride. She wouldn't let me marry her entirely New the Savior. And he continues see the problem is, I haven't seen my bride for months. I've had open heart surgery and she's been too ill to come and see me. And I was sitting here thinking to myself as I prepared to see her after several months. What of masts? I must be in until you showed up. Thank you for being here. He said, and for that moment and for that woman, it was a moment that she will never forget and you know what's true and I get only tell you. But you can experience it. And that is, that every time you treat the other as your most treasured possession, it will be a moment that you'll never forget. It will inflame your heart with love of a different kind. Why? Because unconditional love only comes from God, because he is love. And cheesus came to show it to so is that love of a different kind. You see she takes notice. She says, is gentle. Caesars speaks to you often. He wants you. Why? Because you are his most treasured assess. Let's pray together. Our father in Heaven with is this thing called love. We know Lord, that you created US with Hearts Hearts there, fragile Hearts. They can be easily broken. Hearts can heal only when they're placed in the Palm of your hands and you will guide you created marriage. You created intimacy, you created relationships, you created family, you created the church and you are the God who longs to tell US until we overflow with the love that is spew and selfless a love that only comes from you. So Lord, right now, wherever we are at in life, I pray with 2 Lord just come right now and fill our Hearts with a different kind of love that it may transform US. Change to me, change US as we live day by day in the light of your love. In JESUS name. This media was brought to you by audio verse, a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio, and much more. If you would like to know more about audio verse, if you would like to listen to more sermon or leave a visit W W, W audio verse or.


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