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The best marital advice: Get a new spouse?



  • February 8, 2021
    9:00 AM

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Imagine marital advice given to you where this person says get a new spouse would that make sense let's talk about it on this opposite of inverse. Coming to you from Silver Spring Maryland welcome to. The Bible based conversation on life principle contemporary issues. Now here's your host just until within. Yeah the Bible does talk about some marriage advice about getting a new spouse and how does that work well in Romans Chapter 7 in this arc in this 13 week arc in fact on the book of Romans we want to encourage you to go to inverse Bible argy where you can get the Bible study guides the inverse Bible study guides on the book of Romans and if you haven't watched the previous episodes we encourage you to go to. Slash and verse and you can catch up and binge watch all the episodes that we've done in the last what 4 to 5 years in the studio My name is Justin game we have Sebastian Jonathan and Siku in the You and I want to welcome them and we are we're color cool ordinated according to harvest colors and as we would say that was potato in and I don't know thank you Japanese names which are purple So let's go to Romans Chapter 7 verse 21 through 25. You're going to pray for us in Jonathan you can read the Bible right after the spray loving Father we thank you for the gift of your way with thankful for the gift of salvation and with thankful that we can learn about how we can accept this gift into our lives and we pray that the time that we spending it would be profitable to that and we pray these things together. Romans 7 starting with 21 says I find then a law that evil is present with me the one who will do good for I did light in the law of God according to the inward man but I see another law in my members warning against the law of my mind and. Bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members or wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death I think God through Jesus Christ oh lord so then with the mind I myself serve the Law of God of the flesh the law of sin All right so special we have talked a lot about very a lot of practical stuff about salvation and a righteous by faith and in Alaska but I mean actually the 3 of you you guys were like triple punching this. And I wanted to get to the point of how do we actually do that how do we die to sin and in chapter 7 it talks about the same motif rather than talks but divorce same lesson a different different way of looking at it in really no analogy is perfect each analogy has its ups and downs here in chapter 7 it's as if Paul is saying you've got to disengage from one a spouse you need to die and you need to be married to another spouse. So the death motif is a bit similar they're special how does how does how do we and we will have Sebastian start open it up like let's actually get to the practicals of it how do we actually die. Especially why I think Paul is using a different analogy because he wants to make sure that as he's talking about this you know dying to sin and dying to the law which he's going to go through in chapter 7 he doesn't want to feel like the law is bad even though the law cannot save even though the law cannot deliver us and in some ways we have to die to this law he wants to clarify what he means but he also wants us to know that the law is not a bad thing just because it cannot save it has a role and for us to know what it means to die has to 1st start with clarification about the law it is our awareness of the law in our our will as we read in our scripture reading at the very beginning. That says the one who will do good have to consent I have to agree I have to sit and say I want to do that and in the words of c.s. Lewis right you never know how bad you are into you try to be good so it's like the moment you try to start obeying the law you realize how much you need Jesus and therefore there is a cooperative operation that's happening in the life of the believer who's becoming aware of not just the external requirements of the law but the depth in the spirituality of that this isn't just an issue of my behavior it's also my mind in my motives. Let's go to verse where the verse 12 therefore the law is holy and the commandment hold the just and good and we need to read this text very carefully Some people say hey the law died the laws been done away with but we actually see in verse verse 4 Therefore my brother and you also have become dead to the law so it's not the law that's dying but it's we that are dying correct. So you could also say verse 7 also house or sacrifice says What shall we say then is the last then certainly not on the contrary I would not have known except through the law for I would have not not have known have been a son that's the law had said You shall not have it so we're saying. You may have this notion that the law is bad you know because the law shows you that you are bad and saying that's not the problem isn't the law itself the problem is in us and so the law is actually good because if it weren't for the law we wouldn't know that we have a problem and it kind of goes back to what he was talking about in chapters 2 and 3 where everybody is righteous everybody has sinned that we wouldn't have an awareness of the problem we're not for the law so in fact the law is actually good but the problem is how we've been linked to the law and that's what needs to change you know that if you look at the historical context of what Paul is speaking to not just in Romans but really. In other letters of his as well is this idea that you can be made righteous or attain righteousness by keeping the law you can obtain salvation by keeping the law and. Often the babies being thrown in with the bathwater because if you read the scriptures without looking at the context of the greater story it sounds like the law needs to go completely away while we've just learned that the law is holy just and good and it shows us given that we're not of what is right and wrong what has to change he said is the relationship to the law so he was trying to help his predominantly here the Jewish readers to understand that the lot of you have been given by God is is good but it's point me to Christ it is not the means of solution it's pointing you to the means of salvation which is Jesus is this word to say John through what you're saying those who keep the law are in the same boat as those who don't keep the law. It depends on how it depends so God desires us to keep the law but not as a means of salvation if I do if I think Ok if I do this and this and this and this external application of law. Then I'm good then you're not good Paul had made it clear you all your law keeping is one that's the sense I was it was not your questions since you know so those who do try to keep the law to be say are in the same boat as those who don't keep the law I don't really care I would actually argue the same boat and I would actually argue that they're worse because they actually think they're saved right that's the problem is that you're actually not putting up any barrier you're not pursuing any wall against sin because in your mind you have the authority so it's like the emperor with no clothes you're walking around thinking Oh yeah I say they have a defense I have an argument I have a legal justification for gone but you don't so the sin points to the law. Is a m.r.i. cat scan. That tells me I got you know problems here here here in here so then what do I got to do. As much as number 2 a question what I got to do. Let's go to practical but I want to get to the practical is what I got to do because so far we've been looking at the beauty of Christ and salvation is the awesome Ok so what do I get where you can't do anything well what do I got to do how do I not do anything. And I know it's not we're not sure if I do anything but the practical is how do we die to Christ well let's just say to die live in the death of Christ die in Christ you know that's what I wanted when we were. When we were grappling with Traktor 6 Paul mentions this idea of we'll be this form of doctrine in this idea that there was this pattern of teaching right which we found in the Person of Christ so the practicality for Paul is that we need to be studying in focusing on the life of Christ and focusing on imitation so by following the model because Jesus did not have an advantage over us Jesus did not have some unique super power as to why he was righteous his mo Daladier of righteousness comes the same way right he depended upon God He rested in his promises he trusted him he surrendered his life and therefore we can look at the model the pattern of Jesus was able to balance these extremes he was very obedient he was circumcised right he was all these different things dedicated in the temple on and on and on that fulfilled the Law but he was also an individual understood the spirituality in the surrender and the importance of that relationship with we imitate Jesus we mimic absolutely or else so in everything using hundreds how do we apply this it's just it's in everything that we do in life we we we've got to recognize that no matter what I do all the good things I do have no merit enough in themselves and that is actually a huge relief when you think about it the. Burden is lifted off my shoulders I don't have to perform a certain way in order to obtain you know God's favor and obtain salvation but because it's a free gift I will gladly poor form knowing that I will have no merit but I do it because it is God's will and it is the right way to live and it is what makes you know humans happy according to God's design so I keep the law not as a as a means of earlier we keep the law because we love God but we recognize that all lock all ability to keep the law comes from God and also of Asian comes from from Jesus as performance Jesus righteousness and not my own but if there's nothing that we can do then than all those people who aren't doing anything what's the difference between them and us who do get it like what do what do we have to not do to do this I think I think that perhaps the confusion is coming in the fact that the reason why we're not the same is the difference between us and them is we're pursuing faith in Christ a person who's not doing anything is out there just living in law. Right there in sleep to suggest a question whimper someone pursuing faith and what is what it what is that what is it what is what is that what it looks like can I. Talk about it what it. I don't know that it was the answer it was you know a lot more and. I don't know that this is an answer to that specific question and. Practically what it looks like here in Rome us up to 7 Paul talks about practically what it looks like it. That experience so rendering to Christ and that struggle that internal struggle from verse 13 all the way to 25 think that's what Paul is talking about is the internal struggle so I mean he starts off with yes we've established that. Loys good because it points out then he says How has that has been what is good become death to me Ok I know you're saying that the lawyers good right but. When I when I experience the law it seems it condemns me right so how is it that this thing that is supposedly good I when I experience my experience of it is actually negative and then he goes on to explain explain at least to elaborate on the experience that he has internally with this concept of a law which is good just and holy and then you know me who is sinful and inclined to do things that are that are evil and inclined to you know I'm a slave to sin yes and that that journey of that experience of coming out of that and you know experiencing the newness of life in Jesus Christ so I think Paul you know I did enter the talks for sure this experience totally They did not want to do I don't want to do they want to know if you did that the whole thing is it's totally He what I told the experience right right is that the say that people in the world they don't they don't experience that they got there like I don't want to do and I'm not doing it right I don't know how many of you who are totally in this experience a special crisis as as I am if you or leave a comment and tell us about your experience and how Paul identifies we're going to talk about this after the break. Been a blessing to you Do you have questions or comments or feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching. On Facebook Twitter Instagram or you too while do you join us like. I handle again is in 1st Bible states now back to the discussion. Hey welcome back we're we're having we're having a lot of central Chrysler you Kristi's here at the table and secret really appreciate your answer in verse chapter 7 verse 13 on words this is a famous passage that I do it I don't know yet but I do. I told identify with this Does that mean people out there that I get to say I don't I don't want to do what I know I want to do I do do it and whatever right and there's though there's those who do struggle I want to get to the practical so there is someone there they totally want to surrender to you they want to die to sin they want to do all this they and they're saying amen to all of your comments and so after this this program ends what do they gotta do what's what's what's what's their next practical step and not that these steps are like step one you do step 2 and been you're going to be in heaven right we're not talking about that level but what are some things we can do we can give them to feed their experience and so 1st of all Paul is here in chapter 7 he's again I can all a gene the reality of the struggle that even Christians have because of the sinful nature to which we discussed in chapter 6 we have a sinful nature inclination to sin that's a struggle that will continue however you are now freed you're no longer slaves to sin we learned that we are now freed to take the light in the law of God Take the light in his will and so what are we doing once we have read this and understood to so he acknowledges that reality number one number 2 now that we know that our righteousness is in Jesus which we learn much earlier in the book of Romans that our salvation depends on what Jesus does for me any my life I am free from that burden to obtain salvation and justification myself but because I have that now I am called to live in imitating Christ so instead of worrying about my save them I saved I'm going to look at what is Jesus want me to do while he's very clear he wants you know to love people to have to tell me the truth about the gospel to help them to direct them towards him and to be as Paul says and other places and fragrance of Christ he wanted to show to the Grace I think it was chapter 5 or so when we talk about the Grace abounding in our lives and and and being more powerful than you know the reign of. So what is what is practical we live our life imitating Jesus and we don't worry we know that imitating Jesus is not meritorious in any way we don't have to worry about that part Jesus has saved us and we are saved to serve and so we walk now in that reality following his will obviously not is not the one saved always saved idea of what I'm saying is we have the peace with God as we walk with Jesus we can have peace all the way into Johnson I like that answer but I want to maybe go and this is a legit question if there is there are people out there who are trying to live the law the law live a life of the law yes they're trying not to sin and they're trying not to lie and trying not to cover and they're trying to live a good life and then there's others who are trying to live the life of Jesus who the life of Jesus was also Jesus didn't lie Jesus didn't cover it how are those 2 different why is one considered to be legal list and why is one considered to be Grace base. Because one. Is legal listing and that's. Why that is the thing right was kind of like the you know the elephant in the room thing you know when you're when your mind is focused on you know don't look at the elephant only get the L.G.'s versus you know looking at something else you know in terms of like experience what we're talking about in the previous have to have to 6 inclination like you know like the person that you are who you are and that transformation that needs to happen even if i even if maybe I don't end up looking at the elephant but my mind is focused on the elephant because I'm thinking about not looking at the elephant and that's different from not looking at the elephant because I'm focused on something else and it's the difference in the experience of the hue of the individual who is actually experiencing on the outside when there's so many things that on the outside may look the same but God isn't. Concerned about the outtakes appearance he's not concerned about how you look to everybody else he wants to actually transform who you are so he's not just looking for you to not tell a lie but he wants you to not be. You know and that's different it may be look the same on the outside but it's actually experience of the a different thing God is looking to transform the person not just to change their actions and I would also you know respond to what you're saying add another to that which is the differences one is trying to attain one is responding to what they already possess So there's a person is like I'm doing this because I want to attain salvation versus the other one is like I have it in this is home responding to my cob he uses the concept of the old husband in the new husband in a relationship with Jesus I don't have to keep earning in working for what I already possess I've died right I've died to that old husband Yeah so people who are who are trying to earn it they're trying to not let him die and marry Jesus at the same time which polls that you can't do that you're an adulterous So that's got to die and so that that caught the out of that there's been a recalibration of the motive yes this has been shifting the motive 100 and I think and I was and it need to cause a tailspin but no I think. To confuse me not confusion but misunderstanding is there are people who are trying to live a life that's Jesus like in a very legal listicle way a sin but simply the fact that they say they believe in Jesus they love Jesus but their motif their motive is still legal this but using not the word legal is correct because we say the name Jesus we assume is not legal but what you're saying is these are people who have already received salvation and now out of grace out of out of gratitude out a response now. I will follow the I was I will follow the law right following the law is not banned because you have already received I mean and so that order even though it seems so miniscule of a calibrated Oh it's all just different really changes your project or your cousin look at look at his illustration of the marriage that's why he uses that illustrate Yes yes we you understand it more clearly when you look at it this way to say you're not free from that situation until that husband dies which is why Chapter 6 is important you have to die in Christ Now Jesus made it possible for you to marry a better husband you now have a better relationship and this is where the practicality comes in is Jesus is salvation it comes through this new husband therefore you're in your interest your practicality is I need to draw closer to this new husband I need to figure out how to get to know him to rest upon and not to get the relationship I'm not pursuing right it's not dating it's not working on it we are actually bound in this new relationship and now that we're bound let's go ahead and make this the best thing ever and as we say in always just you know talking to my wife we're protein like 10 years and you know we're just laying in bed and talking in you know being friends and you're thinking to yourself like I looked at her and I said big Can you imagine we've been doing this for 10 years and it doesn't feel old right it doesn't feel used it doesn't feel like you know I'm tired of looking at you and you're to look at a b. but it's like the exact opposite we feel like the 10 years have made this regular thing of just waking up in the morning more deep it's made it more profound more precious more treasured and I see the same thing happening in our relationship with Jesus I just I just I love I just love it because this this I this I really feel is what we're Grace is yes race isn't merely forgiveness it is forgive as much more it's this because I am saved I obey even all the more. And too often we have this debate within Christianity should we obey or not will have been free from the law and want to keep the law. And if you try and any sense you are legal and stick through graced basic living is huge when you want to be even better not because to be you want to be the very best you want to be even more like Jesus you want to be exactly like Jesus I mean. Your motive is a lot more aggressive than even legalism Oh you because you're really been serious and I think that's something where in Christian lingo we tend to mix and then we and then we can you can mix the paradigms together so you can. Say you know the story that. I've heard repeated a few times you know by different pastors about you know the woman who was married to a husband who was you know vindictive and you know demanding and you had a regimen for her every single day when I wake up I want my you know I want my clothes I want my shoes in a certain way and I thought I was the last and I don't you don't know. And then you know I want breakfast at a certain time and it needs to be hot when I get to the table you know you just have a specific you know this is the way that he wanted his things done and she I mean she was she was buckling under the heat of that marriage and praying that her husband would die so she could be free and he did mercy plays a lawyer. Husband dies. Or and now she is free and by God's grace she meets another man and he is also a wonderful and he does not demand anything from her he just loves on her nose by the flowers all the time and he's like needed me tell her the best thing and he's like he doesn't buy the chocolate because housing is not really good for you but he buy so like fruit basket you know you don't often like that also. But she does she feel so loved and so appreciated that you know like maybe 510 years into their marriage she looks at the way their marriage is going and. She notices something that every day she wakes up she eyes his clothes she sets out his shoes polishes them put in. Place gets breakfast ready so that it's hot when he gets to the table all the things that she had to do for have been dicta demanding husband she's doing naturally because she loves this man without Not because he's demanding it of her but because she feels so loved and appreciated she wants to do stuff and she's constantly thinking about more things that she could do to show him that she loves him and I think this is where grace of bounds more she's not only doing those things well she's going above and beyond and she's going to lunch and dinner and brunch and snacks in between the socks and then like you know above and beyond and that is the secret to a fulfilling Christian life rather than just one of the 10 things I'm going to do minimally to get through this marriage so it's a beautiful beautiful beautiful illustration of this stuff in Jesus you know Bob you know makes a clip of Jesus is in the way a husband to you know us well yes to the church and the girls but where his love is so amazing towards us and he just floods us with His love so many times here even Paul you know in verse 25 I think God through Jesus Christ our Lord yes there is a struggle in this life but Jesus is there he's going to strengthen us he's going to help us and we will want to hold on to him we might stumble but he's going to get up he's going to help us you know you don't you shouldn't you don't divorce when your spouse makes one little mistake or something or some issue you try to work it all right we all make you know 6 Jesus does not divorce us you know when we make a mistake he says Listen I've committed to you let's get this you know make this happen and Paul recognize that he's just thank you Lord and then of course chopper it goes in the crescendo of that we got to we got to go to end with chapter and verse one and we'll read it again. First next episode there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who do not walk according to the flesh but according to this I mean this has been an amazing. Journey and studying the concept of grace and how many of you have been struggling in your experience saying Lord I want more I want this to be real I want to be authentically good and sometimes in our struggle even when we try to mimic imitate the life of Jesus it can be more of a limiting factor than more of an accelerating factor I know for me is my prayer that for me and my panelist my friends and all the out there let us have a grace based justification and sing to the patient experience the next meal. You've been listening to a Bible based on the same caliber as well Dr Jonathan Walter Sebastian Baxter Siku doc or your host just to. Invest is brought to you by the whole time television that changes like this and more inspiring episodes there's an inverse hold up or I. Find this on social media. In the 1st 5 until next time this isn't for some.


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