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Parenting with a Purpose

Tom Waters Alane Waters

Sponsor

Recorded

  • December 11, 2005
    9:00 AM
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him us this time not just to parents need to be a purpose in our financing reasoning about parenting you think about having a purpose what comes to your mind for the purpose what would you like to see accomplished in advancing a buddy Christlike children okay good purpose they all solid workers for Jews to its axiom in the kingdom of heaven those are all good purposes now I leave you have ever sat out with a purpose to get educated Regina didn't be educated like it's good to say we like our children in the kingdom of heaven right started yet if you are anything after you said indicating investigation just sat around educated right this can open up your dad letter Oran what it costs to something the processing time and efforts commitments to just keep the purpose of Brazzaville if you feel like maybe you want to give up video that day reveal that one of the parents anything odd felt that way before dancing with the purpose if we want to meet the purposes that God has put in our hearts for our young people then it won't be the thing that will just say that they are child is born and never think about it again we will have to be thinking planning preparing for going to see that purpose fulfill everything have to take action and I remember when our children were firstborn are first to these our desires these are our goals into our purposes that life swallowed that the busyness of life are either interests my career those types of things can't ask from keeping a purpose very clear in my mind I'm thankful that God uses many ways to reach our heart and interests are hard and how Mister realized that the direction we were heading while we said we wanted our children in the kingdom of God but we wanted to raise and in the truth of the Scriptures the reality was that we were good parents but we were not consciously aware day by day moment by moment of that purpose and so when the Lord can have sent a bolt of lightning to our understanding we began to make serious changes to really make our young people a priority and we want to share with you this morning from the Scriptures and also from the application of those Scriptures what it means practically to pair with the purpose that means it's clear now my day by day clear in her prayer time it's clear in our processor today what God wants us to do to prepare our children for his kingdom and if they were preparing him for his kingdom then there also being prepared to be his servant here in this world on your journey to the heavenly land gender violence on the Deuteronomy the fifth chapter which is a very common parenting chapter is there at versus five and onward mobility the purpose that God has given us in parenting also love the Lord thy God with all thine heart with all thy soul and with all thy mind this is the purpose that we have parents influence your children can have no lifestyle to write knowing kingdom of heaven but to see them be successful useful here in this life real success in assessment versus this is really the parents part of this program have this happen they shall be in thy heart if I want my young people to love the Lord their God with all their soul with all their heart with all their might then he needs to start where they believe my heart is the first place to begin not to say do what you do not as I do know that that apparently never works that I want to tell our children that it's not right for them to be bickering and arguing with each other then what needs to be the example of mother father is the right so well he won again now there's a ghost in the next few verses is theirs to keep principles that we as parents need to be picking out here that help us to keep the focus of parenting heart-to-heart parenting with the purpose of listening carefully to read these next two verses and see if you can him these two key for normal foundational principle to successful parenting persona thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children that don't talk to them when thou sit in my house when I walk this by the way when I lies down and when thou arises up sitting you get out it's too important factors here that we as parents must do in order to help our young people gain the experience of loving the Lord Jesus with their entire heart mind and soul but we need to really teach them right but when you teach them how to love God right so teaching them because were going to teach them diligently that means you can take effort and were going to talk of them were just talking about communication it's impossible to parents with the purpose is impossible to instill in our young people how to love God with your whole heart if we don't communicate with communication is vitally important in parenting now besides communication we insist going to happen all the time from the time they get until the time they go to bed and what it's saying here and that's really talking about companionship is meant intermittently with our young people from the morning till the evening 's companionship and communication and companionship is really the message that God is giving SUVs versus if he wants us as parents if are going to teach them how to love God with their whole heart we need to spend time in communication and any companionship him one interesting thing that the devil has done to destroy this aspect of parenting very subtle and not-so-subtle play what is gone if you've got your Sullivan committee over indebted so Pushkin press the only thing that many parents can do is to get someone else to spend time with their children as a companion wheel families that their children spend way more time in companionship with a day care center with a babysitter than they ever nearly spend with her parents so what happens the companionship who is the companion of his childhood something someone was getting a paycheck want to do what's right cannot give the children but my father and give them attention so now we've got the verses here this is when a citizen madhouse when I walked by the women alive when arrived at what's happening now most of those hours when this contains it was supposed to be taking place when this teaching is about to take place 's formula someone who probably doesn't even understand the extent versus the devil has stolen a march on to bring down the communication breakdown the companionship which thereby breaks down the final product they were trying to instill in our young people parents and the purpose is a per se it is also buying them for a sign upon nine and they shall be his front leg between nine things that simply saying that when we do this it gives our children purpose I guess them on the road and they need to be in help solidify that relationship with Jesus Christ that will direct and guide them through life was not enough time in hand here interesting that when we see the market of these happening words from our marketing staff into two areas are hand-in-hand and oddities that people that get it in a format that means that some people it is wonderful in that way it will be now believe it right here no reason through MSA this is what I wanted to copy other people will say me Nexium by yourself I don't do this and I can't feed my family you need to go to prison I like to be a visible mark out what it means is here is slave already working on works I really had so we as parents we have this blessed friendly if we would give the companionship if we will give the communication we had a revelation of working in the heart lies in the lack of our young people and getting them to work with her and the whole experiences what was the privilege and opportunity that we have from your eyes and is well versed knife and then also write them upon post of the house and upon that gays so that means that we should all go home and get a big banner and banners nowadays solely coming in about hundred years ago living in so we did get a manner we can put on the front to or of course we can say we are in the immediate denial as you can tell higher lifestyle we are is now not saying here right on the door pulse nothing they were never to be ashamed of him completely in Louisiana designed that live with him they who ever comes into our homeland no that he abides there in our hearts and in our home that even people passing by can tell by the way they see our property by the way they see our yard sign it in action here of our children playing in the yard that these are Christians who live here in the afternoon is visible when driving in the life visible or not we have to try to manufacture some level of Christian principle on the outward when prices in the heart it is spontaneous reaction and follow through mine and we don't have to try to announce over Christians we only have to let Christ live in an him living in the country example to others around someone companionship now and find out very quickly that what it means to have companionship with our young people means a commitment like were making other things in life that none of us think anything of making a commitment to employment why oriented a living right going on business networking is starting yes there is a commitment that involved in we can talk about every aspect of life and we think you might like below are guaranteeing its companionship him companionship in the worship experience with our families morning by morning evening by evening we need to close the day when our families having worship opinion ship at the beginning and the end of the day we campaign just playing with that now I know a lot of people that are dedicated to their children but they just can't see playing with them as being part of the young people need for us to play with them and you learn how to work working with our children that part of the companionship that God wants to give us working with our children and then associating with them in the normal associations of life and companionship is the role in their personal life personal personal ambitions now if were to be a part of every part of life is hectic time that a commitment is aware that demand it is worth it will always be worth it this doesn't mean that we end up being with them constantly that doesn't work that way that means we are a part of every part of their lives they can count on being there every aspect of their life as they were taking these areas of companionship and will look at what that means practically in the early years in the mid- years in the late years of our young people 's life when we had our children when they are very little three children only got to to let a person we rotated in anybody can sit and see the pictures in the Bible storybook when they were little and we get the Bible the him them come alive enough for the great but they're not enough in the comment of practical application my sullenly talked about Abraham Abrahams long ways away her past history is any a man is not unaltered neighborhood live by faith will translate that you bought five -year-old in well I got gracefully tried the rain practically when Abraham and exercise they you bring that down well we would sit out and you know him feel like leaving the floor yesterday to identify you about that the children get fussy about doing things that you it is likely that China taken down to something where our government exercise faith in case they shall run to get off my sick or get off your tricycle or someone I do what mommy or daddy is asking you to do that take the same faith Abraham had you know that the very same thing that Abraham had but they child exercise from you and help mommy pulled up all when you'd rather be out riding your bicycle is making a unique and practical needs willing to companionship with them and play when they were little and they could even ride a bicycle just putting that five people see existing on the back to the bicycling taking in the desert as they got a little older nicotinamide time remaining on the back of the bicycle and father with a are you being away was great time to get a member that they always like the Reagan himself think that we can do many parents lose the opportunity to become hands with the people in the early years because he will have to play and spent instead of spending time to play with them then and only with my all day long every day we interact with them in play can be spinning cardboard dollhouse and we didn't like to hang it boxes from when the printing and the end of the day they sat upon the empty boxes and make cardboard houses and they would go into those houses with famine playing with them in their negative dishes there and all I have it was enjoyable theater companionship and play and working if you've looking for all guilty of ensuring their desire helping tears is very little effectively body was too little to be having a sharp knife that he was sitting in my lap he wanted to help no one of the things the children desire window that was to help anyway I want to help I want to help it will make the right you have that sleep she's right there with me they want to help I tell you if we will let them help when they are young they will learn how to work and they would love to work with Merrill now my son got hired by my doctor in our Valley in business and here's an that Doctor was not as working as part of my son very interesting sightseeing home from helping in the Red Sea gaining a root cellar Islam is you dating a Renaissance era and the existing long-haul hearing all your paintball space all in the floor bucket after bucket and the John assessing desire we needed a break decided that anything you write you know you now that doesn't mean we work them like a slave in our house okay it means that one of the things of my father instilled in me is how never criticizing great because you write is always working and finally the doctor said was an executive at the music if we will work without you they won't work when they are older and a song when your child help make the bread I remember the first time I heard my wife with the girls decide he is a you is taller than they are when they want to make bread with mother mother 's first reaction was to messy I went there myself picking out the gym later to having later will never let busy now that could pay off the was a messenger little bit like tectonics in a language other my health it doesn't plan to helping teach them how to do it by displaying and demanding you know with their child it is the estimate and make a mad part of it is that teaching and him for their age and the little Manhattan as expected because that's their best to learn the heart of companionship and her association in the early years are your associates with your children carefully you either associate and if you have them allow them to play other children you play with them in that Association if we do not we teach our children always want to be with someone else to have a never learned that demon mother and father yet they may learn is whatever that child knows and instilling your child's thoughts and many children have come to rely scar from when they learned in lesson five in the Association that just because people believe the way we believe go to the same church and have the same principles and even have family worship and you only think doesn't mean that they that their children are safe associates not because of actual rent that because children laughed under themselves were told and inspiration is an opportunity for the devil to find that to those children's thoughts and things that children learn from other children are devastating destroying and sometimes ear recoverable so we encourage you to be an associate with your children in play we have been missing half of our children and other children we have been playing house we wish cars around on the floor mother and father and children we have to many things with them to be either associates relay time with my children each of the eighth survival what about the campaign backpacking together following the gift would be the survival guide so we bought each of our children one of the most of I and another family in the Valley our families and brought together they also bought their young people below survival guide for you and we got together one time for one of our family get together this is another aspect to this rather than teach your children by example that they can just run with the other children in church and that you display when families get together they are playing mother father talk we began to instill in our children that we would do things together as families that would include them they can be a part of the adult conversations and we would be a pirate of their fine interactions outside to do things together for some growth this way so I keep families together one day and our young people started getting this brainstorm about survival outing why have a survival guide if you never know how you do that right with our children learn the practical side of life so they started talking Dawson they talk us into a three-day survival of now they were all energies at this time yes surviving in Montana is not as good as surviving why they survived why the time of the year surviving in Montana even in July is not a very good time to survive all the available out there that define our survival guide my venerable and abrogated that will mock and wild onions of this opera menu while in monsoon when the other things we did in preparation for this outing is that the purpose of it was to show that young people never plan to be lost him he died our evil die every year on hikes they get lost they get hurt they get separated and you sometimes you see you hear my story how they survived to divine intervention but not everyone survives and so because of where we live and because we hike a lot nobody plans for the unexpected and we felt the need to prepare and plan so we could have an experienced iPhone pocket guide when on a single unit again I UK handicap or water bottle you haven't and you don't have to leave eBay you don't have to know a lot of you would need granola bars MySpace Google so that's what we did we went for thirty eight milligrams pack is likelier to be gone for a three-hour hike in the afternoon your the one who rules the only advantage packs my wife bought the biggest and imagine what might happen that cash was within the rule doesn't withhold anything you really think that so anyway we went to dinner if anybody know the first thing is that you should do when you find out you need to survive the most important thing survival but that while water is important that the very first thing a survival situation shelter more people die of hypothermia even if you were dying of thirst in shelter so we got there and we started building the shelter according to the book we didn't have teens are leaving now all we know is our de facto right so he got a little thought and open up your side wins a lot going on and were building shelters out of them we expect that we will follow problem is big Mountain storm and him through that process and we were not ready for five we got so cold July in the mountains is not like July home lender is still snow on ground up the mountain we were trying to survive result everywhere I fortunately we had sense enough to let under the class and a lot of audio things to survive the heavy along the shoulder so a range of formally what is fireside of an illiterate gunfire started with your fireside every good shape as you build under obvious snowball Runner something police the fire started and how I tried to survive dry now and making a meal now what I really consist of remember moss and onions or when O'Neill so we were enough are soon the young people trying to mama this is your edible it would be as widely as you know things evaluator superscripting in and the other mother that was witnessed by what they are her feet were just so solely at the citizen she was trying to draw her thoughts on over the fire under your feet warm water first saw lo and behold on the soup and it was in fact to buy nobody is their child is precious little boy awarding Marvin at the time Russell guide down syndrome and young liaison and syndrome children somehow God has in my view missing an important gene that they have a lot of him what a precious thing and in your lifetime you soon because his sister Allison same name is now out and Meridian Allison Heather well his sister Allison made we assume we found out we were getting on your COP got so excited with this line in this one-on-one meeting undermining superheroes is having at home so now that I'm in fact to and you just can't wait to feel good how never forget when he took his first life on the inside of it while I like the feeling that out and made all will I will buy cellular and him did I is really late at night by this time I mean come on that we were right up against we were in the mountains right against the bad class in the mountain and it was dark it was called and they were wet in the temperature was dropping drastically in the top mark in July we can go below freezing the mountain and so here we are five teenagers fascinated by the agent that time and for parents what we can do we haven't even been here for five hours then we found in our shelter we found in our food and we are not warm or wet cold this time out of the driveway where using wet leg which doesn't burn very good and we just had a lot of miles going on we can tell more bad weather was going to come hand and so we had what we call a family council what decision you may and I tell you there were five young people who did not want to give up there was one young child who was ready to go home and eat and for in the Arena home and you are so many things in life comfortable bad so we talked about and we talked about the reality of what we what what can happen to a biggie gets it could be enough seriously ill from exposure and so when it all boiled down we discovered that some of the greatest hesitation that they had if we went back home next day mom and dad go back to work again go back to work and life would go on at home is normal they were counting on three days we agree that if we would go home with high found in the dark we would go home we all got our house in the first half the country all stay there and the next day the next two days were dedicated to do whatever those young people wanting to do and went back and they were ready to go home when it's a valuable lesson wanting an first of all we didn't survive it was nice that we did have to survive you know we probably would've survived if we had to three days but it was nice that we didn't have to survive the last minute is this we are not as prepared as we think we are spiritually are we really ready to survive answer not even so must the terrible things are going from on this earth a time of trouble such as never was since there was a nation by Irene many to survive ceiling a related VCL the only great opportunities that God is going to get his people molesting is to be sealed to receive them however latter rain get the last message of mercy final call like Noah standing there in him as I know we wouldn't ask the question were we ready to seal of survival we were sadly we didn't do very well we were ready to supply are we ready to receive the seal of God was summing lessons in the Koran but you know what was most important to us as the companionship and that's trying to emphasize these are memories memories that they are there I taking times in when we don't think we have time we needed to never regret it is when these young people of the state we did take time for them his life will never get less busy is that induced increase in its busy to understand that we will know it companionship I remember not too long those couple years ago in way our middle daughter she logged languages she lives to learn languages and she's very fluent in managed self-taught and she loves to soak in any opportunity she had to hear Spanish nonstop and be able to communicate in Spanish and where we live in Montana there's not a lot of Spanish-speaking people every year in Washington state eight hours from our home is a Spanish care through Spanish camp it runs with the English Spanish camper the upper Columbia and she likes to go their companionship now take the time going over the weekend how many hours with her in the car eight hours back noting that means whether simply the meeting I don't understand hardly a word they say that be there with her enjoy that you know that really reaches the heart is normal it was wherever we are him she was to be with a few laughs as he wants to be a part of our life what a great home for our traveling around school are working or whatever any as God wants to be a part of our lives and our young people need to see you demonstrated practically that we care for man to be a part of their lives enjoy your things are important to them even though they may hold no significant staff companionship naturally these the opportunity for communication at me if you don't have any companionship and communication but if you'll take time to have companionship will have time you will have opportunities to communicate because companionship leaves the message with our young people I will never leave you and that's what we are you know young people as they did in the late teens and early twenties they need our companionship just like they do is to see a different way they need us to be there transitions of life that they're going through to be successful and so communication is one of the byproducts of good companionship remember what was first thought was exciting to have a new baby at first baby and my mother came back to be with me to be with us during that time is there enough when we went Alice was born and she was there when we came home from the hospital without an I learned so much for my mother now I have motherly instinct in me and I've always been very close to my mother that I don't remember when I was like her what she was like when I was an infant because infants don't have those memories okay him thinking I should she let me rest as I labored on I was a very challenging labor and so I was very exhausted and she would take Allison and I could hear out and around talking to she's changing her diaper and talking to her why she's giving her bad time otherwise he's only thinking and understand child uniting she's even a way to get run over the top of her head but as I observed my mother for that we learned a very important start at her to communicate with your child with you with interesting to see it is just a short period of time Alice and attachment to grandma she communicated with her and I began that morning talk to my children even though they didn't understand even though I was a time when you change a dirty or whatever you can do anything to them they deceive you your voice they need to hear expressed in gentle tolerance and love and that communication that was an encouragement to me I'm so thankful my mother was there she had been out because that's not something you learn in school you know the most important things in life they never taught in school we learned from him home hopefully we learn the right are we we found there in my entrapment from a book so God wants to add to understand the importance of communication if you haven't done that where ever you are working on people start and how to communicate in every area of life maybe it would communicate with them about things that are fun things are sad the good the bad the things the hard things we need to communicate about every thing in life that is appropriate to their age him that you are talking about things that their children are talking about what the teacher they didn't teach a permission to talk about with their children and eight nine years old I said that's not appropriate God never intended for those kinds of conversations happened to communicate about everything that's important to life at the age that it's appropriate to talk about those things and retirement actuation even fun things you think talking about something fun I'm going to the lake for the afternoon would just be in exciting special experience waiting to be exciting city Cleveland and Rome life is about three miles from us in your summer in an afternoon we can talk about that applicant is to take a second enlistment and late this afternoon spent in Indonesia Airlines in the light of the hour is really wrong it's a beautiful day even things we need to communicate clearly on many families can take in mind in its violence correlate before they ever get their communications broken feelings are hurt his education frustration irritation and rightly because of poor communication going to the lake this morning just creating the idea that humans are gotten away going to take is communicating where all agreed to go to the light whose mother get the pictogram hang good father will continue to be responsible to get the towels beach towels the sunscreen the panels are leaving Hartford and halted away the lifejackets both things won't happen on his creating is your frustration because if you don't communicate about the whole process of provisioning into the life and wealth was just as well I will you give me a Merry 's openings only to get a new now what life is all been there I mean we have experienced it on the negative side so we speak from experience we know how those simple things can happen even though they were meant to be sometimes enjoyable and memory so communication mean we we plan thoroughly and we cover all the things and everybody knows clearly their responsibility everybody has a cooperative spirit and intent minute with me heading to the light and the whole afternoon class and my memories the other problem swings the other side some have to do everything for their children and everything and what is happening it doesn't look so bad at times pictures all but mother and father are doing everything and I K we've watched children grow up with our children and you watch what their life embarrassing when they get older and they can't do anything for themselves because mommy got everything for things and learn how to communicate about every area of life the reason many families are mistrusted me is because the couple to communicate and learn how to communicate about making things because there is a lot of communication of mom and dad are one of the parents did everything for them and now here they are and how to do it and so would a lot of be in either of those ditches that means that we even communicate about it I remember going to my mother 's death she got cancer eight of a difficult experience to watch my mother children's grandmother died of cancer is a very scary but it was nice to spend time with her before she died the air and to be able to communicate everything you need him that you now have Jennifer Shelley Ryan at different ages don't need in all the same information as phenomenal run with our young people as they were all at home sit down and have a family counseling talk about anything and everything we came to the dying process of my mother we do not just sit down and talk about this whole process on the same level of each child what we evaluated was there need to know to understand what any mother that he didn't know a ten -year-old does not need to know what fifteen -year-old needs to know in the Virgin thou don't carry that in their life therefore you don't have to sit out ten -year-old the same conversation with a fifteen -year-old and tell them the same information what you doing what we did is we took each of our children and explore their need to know Allison is the oldest and more of a cognitive process going on needed more answers than did decide that he is a family was somewhere in between explore the need to know what your if you know it won't go away and you'll find out somewhere down the road with their feelings and emotions that come up it were never dealt with as there wasn't the right kind of communication that they all need to know what it means when someone is dying and that the end result of that at least in this world the temporal loss because we have known families that haven't really told their children that father isn't going to make it and you know until the day or two before he died and it was very traumatic so they do need to understand unless God intervenes what the ultimate outcome of these him hi their own personality to share whatever's on their harder men to spend the time that in our home we saw the difference between the desire Allison had to spend with her grandmother and just I had a much younger age than with his grandmother is a different bond there is a different level of maturity there is a different level there is a dip level of understanding there so it doesn't mean we keep the truth from our children need to know that to whatever degree that truth is understood has to be according to what they're capable of comprehending and may they needed to be a mother experience they now set to become a little child our children were hanging and not everything is the granite would be no design of the appraiser that absolutely but we needed as parents to go to each of those children we explained to them where they can understand how the prayer of faith needed to be worried please understand that each age as a result when they came through that dying process they were not left with unanswered questions about what I thought I had faith I thought if I play it in having those questions that was all worked out through the process we need to communicate so that simulation is a very important part of parenting with the purpose to talk to him about communication and companionship but it's not enough just to recognize that need is not enough to spend time communicating and being on young people 's companion we must seem to have any weight the outcome evaluation reflection time I call it is very important him to guide and to know what to give more honor to give less of how to talk about things in a different way or other activities we need to do a companionship through the evaluation process and evaluate all day long in a time uses our background sometimes they help us understand the importance of spiritual truths and I remember my nursing background in intensive care and we moment I was they are is constantly evaluating vital signs that the statistics the lab report everything became and for that patient I life-and-death situation so also with our children all day long we continue to evaluate we can tell apply an expression by attitude by demeanor by their by their joy by their hesitancy by how well the school lessons that provide how sloppy that the housework is that or whatever maybe we can evaluate an interplay God wants us to evaluate our peering team on a continual basis and take time every day to evaluate through the day and also take time to to evaluate quietly between you and the Lord in that reflection time early morning for me with my time by the end of the day I was exhausted tremendously but the Lord would often bring me up early and I would reflect and pray and I would remember things the day before that and also good in the Lord help me to see before they started to go awry what was building out to the part of which things fell apart he and we try at that point to identify those little turning point through that reflection timing and today of a new day and it can be a better day like clockwork this encouraging first saw myself first for this really thoughts about the ultimate parenting purpose one thing and I desired of the Lord that will I seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life that were seeking after you set his heart desires parents that will be our desire also parents with the purpose that our family can be dwelling house of the Lord forever Jolene Illsley and Kevin we thank you for the parenting process that you are involved in with us you are heavenly father sometimes were stubborn children sometimes we kick against the pricks sometimes we ignore you sometimes we don't want your companionship sometimes we don't want to hear communicate with you through your word and to prayer the Lord you never cast us off and you're always there for us Lord we want to be there for our children we want parents down with the same purposes that you have for us you wish above all things that we would prosper and be in help and that's what we desire for our children we desire that they would be with you as they would receive the crown of life they would turn away from the worldly things that press about them Lord help us to do our part to cooperate reviewed parent with a purpose through Jesus Christ

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