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Grownups Playing Dress-up

Nicole Parker

Presenter

Nicole Parker

Wife, mother, and Biblical counselor

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Conference

Recorded

  • July 15, 2010
    3:30 PM
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I must start with a word of prayer and have his latest grateful to you you blessed us so much language your word is knowledge of using individual lessons now is where talking with one another that we will understand your word your plan for a system will allow you into the deepest racist thinking on the today we are talking about us grown-ups playing dress-up and I give you ever play dress-up I have three small children they are ages three to four and six and or as they would point out three and a half four and a half and six and a half and they love to dress it's a lot of fun my daughter especially doesn't log jumping up she has a little friends come over and they like to dress alive or don't dress up in her fanciest dresses and print run how often they put clips all over in their hair not too long ago she and her best friend Ellie stress that an Egyptian princesses said they they had all been eclipsed the date each probably had twenty hair clips and their hair and Ellie Long overheard them talking to each other and she said you need to clean up the neck of the room me why do we have to deal while this work group for this when the servant when you wager that it's so easy to suddenly morph into feeling very different rightness of my sunset and dressing up as a fireman the other day he love to dress up and that you and you love it and we sometimes correspond to the same habit we feel like a quick change on the outside makes us feel good how do you get a new haircut for some new clothes and you suddenly feel so much more confident about yourself going out there you feel like you look good and so you feel good right but that is not exactly how God wants us to base our sense of how we feel about ourselves and a quick change is fine now I feel like I am an Egyptian princess right but I'm not an annoying week when we fall into that trap God wants us to come up with something so much higher God is not interested in a quick fix decorating the outside he wants to change our heart now when you know when God changes the heart he changes it so that change comes to the outside right now when I was trying to figure out what I would talk about here right now I knew what I would do I want to just go over there and start out by putting up this long quotation about the length of skirt that's what we should talk about right and just start out there and then it really goes well now that what is all modesty staff then his face just joking but unable to elicit an audio person I started running about the length of skirt that has been a turnoff get anything out of it it was a job that now I want to talk about it yet I don't think that's really where we should be focusing I think God wants to do something deeper now I may give you an example we had a huge tree in our backyard this is an actual picture of that tree but it was that it was a massive three backyard the place that we were living I need history with probate I with my arms around it like that I can only get half way around the tree but the tree had been problems in the branches were dying and they were not falling down we had a couple windstorms my big branch fell but hey that Gary my little kids planning history out at all I think of a child so we called up our landlords and they agreed to get rid of the tree now the first thing I did was hire somebody to come in and take scissors and cut off all the leaves of the tree right we think that the David a righteous man he desperately got big enough course not one of the Shire professionals to cut down the tree in fact two guys came in with their massive size it was really pretty impressive watching they chop off one big branch but I chalk up another big branch of the chop off another and then they start going down this trunk infections mean massive trunk of a job at all to pieces and then they took their red grinder and they ground out all the roots down underneath even down into the underground ground all down in there to get rid of everything from the street now that made me think a little you know I think in pictures at the way that I always processed laughing out loud what a good illustration you when you weed the garden do you do it with a one hour if she found on no we know that if we leave it alone our two weeks later if you look just like it did before right we've got to get the rooftops and yet in Iraq we've often tried to weed with a lawnmower he said that the Chinese address these of the things you should avoid this is the length of your skirt these sure you don't wear jewelry or anything that looks like jewelry right now no glittery stuff around your neck because that could make it look like you're wearing jewelry even if it's not actual children right into work where we're dealing with surface air and while that's important it's much more important that we get to the roots in these guys were cutting down the tree then you may need to get rid of the branches because otherwise the tree wasn't right sometimes when you have guidelines and this is where we need to address in here to hear the lines that you should not cross me especially when you got an institution or school or something like that you have some basic minimum guidelines but not working so much better right than he dealt with the children of Israel when they can just come out of Egypt against the minimum guideline but he also felt like I wanted you in the eye opening apartment have a relationship like a friend let's build unity God wants us to love him with all of our heart not just to do all the ten Commandments but shall have no other gods before me that means we love him we can't say okay got adopted a baby necessity tells to do again is vital surely wishing I could write God wants to deal with our heart in dealing with the tree God was interested in the rates not friends in our lives just listen we were interested in getting out the roots of the tree not just the leaves off the top of so I thought I'll let you know what would be really funny my creative mind get over creative women overtired what I thought would be really finally be coming here dressed in my closing totally clash in advantages theater because now records that would want audio first very effectively either but what I did not know one when I dressed that way I can just stress that way right for the presentation but wouldn't it be great illustration to walk around campus all day long dressed in clothes that totally obviously clash and see what people thought of me what would you think of me would you want to come to my seminar he found interesting in the stripes and polka dots they were different colors the United man what that woman doing here we just a lot on what people look like the only we really do we take one glance at a person you know and I've been guilty of it myself as much as anybody else I look at people and thought that's a really strange hairstyle she had the feeling a person just like that you were trying to explain the role that draft to somebody else what is I was not an file I had a really loud in college it came from Eastern Europe and she loves color and she is not gotten enough of it over there that all the things you discovered secondhand stores and frequenting the people are giving away and how she put together some outfit while the red and orange and yellow stripes in green and purple polkadotted skirt I would like all another advantage color of the campus she glared altogether the more the merrier and explain to somebody and I tried explaining a restart or ease that you know that kind of violence sure that window underneath duct wrap it just doesn't because it doesn't because I've never seen anybody else where that way you do we just do we know will make you try to go shopping with somebody from another country and your explaining to them no these are all style and never try to think of why net style will they disarm because I don't see anybody wearing you down I explained the rules address to my six-year-old who love colors and sometimes love the same colors that should not be on her body at the same time and I have to try to explain sort it out yet those are pretty colors they're both beautiful together and in challenging we have to be set rules in our minds that the way things are supposed to be how it goes power those rules made remainder will one we all know them and making the world feel a long time ago people make their own clothes of a headdress maker make their clothes and clothes are made to fit their bodies pretty much the now my body is shaped like a fellow cut in this way and then along came fringe than mine and the look and now in America where were very much in here you got to look a certain way or else well that the way you're supposed to look at the different looks of course you have to pick the look that you and then have to you become right there that the grunge what people and then there are the big off people everything is in blackened and of course the facial expression have to match and then you do have that outdoorsy TV people and they are aware LL.B. our health you know whether they got a be into that valid claim of the other people enough in the field their style is now I look like I just stepped off the streets of New York City and that their style there are lots of different styles that you got a friendly smile method you that expresses who you are and then that becomes your style or maybe you have more than one file you timing we haven't located rules system that is all built around in the bottom of it what do people think of me and Y think of myself exactly yeah the carousels and I think people people want to follow somebody because we had this magical idea I can just put my trailer to that star and I will become like them and people will think of me in school we fall for advertising so easily and efficiently it it feels from what God wants to the Lord sees not as man sees first annual sixteen seven man looks on the outward appearance but the Lord looks on the heart now I used to use to try to judge based on what people look like myself I remember thinking you know what I thought content becomes a church in a short skirt and a whole lot of makeup on she must not really have a good relationship with God if you get he would've dealt with her on that already you know and then I was shocked later on to discover sometimes these people that I have made my preconceived ideas about a race again and talking status wow I'm fumbled also true I needed to know that God told her that she's dressed like that and his judgments all mentality I had no I'm not saying that it's okay to wear the think as long as you're close to God it doesn't matter what you wear begins you don't believe someone like other people and it can still hold you back in your own spiritual journey I know for me the way that I used to dress help me back in my spiritual journey I went I would dress when I was feeling insecure are craving attention I would dress in my fighter close because I knew I may get the attention that I'm craving right now but dress is not the only way to do that as it you can dress very modestly but seek attention in other ways God always wants to aim for hearts he wants us to base our sense of identity and worth on his luck for a moment that the foundation of our security than the address and things like that which exists are falling into line with what God wants us to be where is your sense of worth in other a lot of places people built their sense of worth in your outward appearance is that what makes you feel like you're worth something when you go shopping you get a new outfit and you really like it you feel better walking around more than on your inward experience with well between you when Jesus says he spent time with him in the morning that revitalizes you don't like pouring water on the thirsty plant bring it back to life that's what I was longing for not for somebody else make me feel good but for knowledge of God is worth based on what people think or what God thinks of you ever thought what if what everybody else knew what was going on in my walk with God but I be more conscious at how much time on spending with him and I find this cartoon in with the far side now maybe I read one of those tiny cartoons you know and I had to be coming out of the bathroom and had a big sign over the bathroom door that said did not wash hands thoroughly and every time to make about the fine flashes that they did wash their hands or if they didn't wash their hands if they were defined like that over the bathroom door would you be more conscious of washing your hands them their point here is pretty funny anything that we do that we went into if we didn't think people would notice anything do we not do that we went to if we thought people would know especially spiritually doesn't matter to us whether God thinks that were doing well or is it more important that we can go to breakfast they had my devotional time I think about that but you well we really did was spent three minutes reading to suddenly have something we could write about what what is the foundation of our sense of worth is that what we feel worth of what the Bible says about our work God wants to do something to really change our heart but on the outside when we can make things look good on the outside we often don't deal with the inward right if I can go find somebody to give me attention make me feel attractive I may not go to God and say Lord went going on in my heart why am I not feeling like I'm lovable today see you think well once I married I have coming this command today and I know that he and his wife with me and he let me above everybody else in the world will be secure I can tell you that but that's not the way it works in reality when we made our sense of identity or worth reliability on our spouse we only become more insecure than everything rises and falls on him and now instead of my goal in life being how can I glorify God it becomes how can I get my husband to love me at all feel like I'm lovable and worthwhile now my goal instead of being holiness becomes happiness how can I make you make me feel good and it's all downhill from there then anything he does super sensitive beginning there is not the solution to those problems and only reveal them it shows that going on in our heart and God is gracious mercy and one allow us to have a quick fix that makes it feel great and not get to the heart the quick fix nearly always lead to regret and long-term damage and if you look at Hollywood and how beautiful everything looks on the outside and how devastating the lives are inside you can certainly see that demonstrated our culture demand instant gratification which usually leads to long-term law right God wants to give us something so much better but our culture is becoming worse and worse and that's why Brad has become such a crisis forth nowadays you know back in the nineteen sixties we had the sexual revolution all of a sudden there's birth-control and so a woman can decide whether or not she wants to have sex with somebody based on whether she wants to not based on the fear of Ono I better make sure you committed to me because I would be raising a child all by myself everybody could be looking down on me now she screamed yes I can do what I feel like and so there was this quick fix mentality that came to apply him very strongly now can you worry about the long-term law in this fix with you to make her feel good to feel lovable beautiful worthwhile I shouldn't have to worry that a course in long-term wheel women suffer pregnancy and some of the situations that we suffer other devastating losses loss of feeling pure philosophy knowledge of our work a lot but feeling like God can forgive us and washes clean sexual efficiency is not offended so much so much worse than other kind of thin but it's worse than that the devil can use it to really make us feel worthless it it it hits right at the heart of who we are that says you are no longer pure even God himself can purify you you can get your virginity back sexual sin is not just the thing that affects us all basically because there are a lot of physical effects that are devastating from you illegitimate sex sometimes but there's also be the emotional devastation of giving yourself to somebody and then being ripped apart emotionally over and over there all these things that were long-term losses using short-term they didn't seem to be any losses like it would be just fine everything is good to go great to get a huge boost in their sense of feeling good about themselves and of course I get that huge quick boost to and of course that produce long-term insecurity and relationships divorce escalated because people were building a relationship wrong thing quick fix instant gratification wanting to find somebody who made them feel loved made them feel worthwhile right away now it in the book dying to be beautiful on page fifteen by Jennifer just worked there is a great book about anorexia and bulimia eating disorders and how they destroy life she has a lot of misinformation in her butt and she says women began to grasp that physical perfection during this time of time as a means of retaining love and standing in society and moral freedom the pressure for women to look sexually appealing with increasing by the day pressure has always been anyhow I would I wouldn't pretend like all of a sudden now the pressure to look sexy and there is always been there but now our culture is saying it's okay let the skirt hemlines shortage of wants and we were building a culture that crumbling around them we wonder what how what we all feel better about ourselves we just need more self-esteem and you're right now we have a culture that builds run having the ideal body but it's not necessarily healthy or even something as possible a lot of people may have larger bones they are not built to be when a model looks like you and my close friend used to be a model in New York City and he said you know that beautiful amusing advertisement up close while they were ugly they were so skinny and sallow looking for very young so many of them had been disorders trying to keep himself pinched down to this business because of course you've got to look really thin for the camera and thanks to Twiggy and all the cultural things that happened a long time ago people think you got a be really thin in order to be beautiful in and Jennifer Hill Schwarzer 's book going to be beautiful she told about the illicit mineral water woman I can't remember the model girl for them back and then was I think five foot four inches and hundred and forty pounds now the model for the five foot ten and hundred and ten pounds bet taller than me and community by twenty pounds that's really really unhealthy but culture demands and everybody now why is that why we do that to ourselves the idea is to instantly self you write you he wants to destroy us in every way he can have we don't spend time with God we correspondingly start increasing our need to magnify ourselves and our culture just bombards us the third thirty six twenty four thirty six like you know that you see anything the perfect measurements for one and thirty six twenty four thirty six near Barbie doll mentality that's not a healthy way to take you a human body but advertising tell that you need to eat these unhealthful foods and I drink this to be beautiful right we just went to the world of Coca-Cola Museum with my daughter retweets I think if there was a free tour that we were doing along with bunch of other stuff and stuff like that we want to bother Palin it my goodness drinking from the fire modes of advertising it was just plain straight at the hold lines are just feeding it you need to drink Coca-Cola it's wonderful stuff everybody love Coca-Cola the flavor is amazing so we started out with first crackdown to start the tour I talked to my daughter that in order to think that in a dance in advertising here to find out about the power of advertising their job is to try to make you think that you have to half what they have are you to believe that she said no I'm not really a lot she first arrived in that we go through the whole Coca-Cola museum the all that all the other exhibits and things and meet people one after another pumping out with his assistant wonderful drink what a mess and they drink and all these things happen while they're having such a wonderful finding out my daughter watches dog alive so we get to the NFL announced by using the advertising that make you think that you wanted she said no yes yes mommy I have to try to Coca-Cola he never heard about the colorable life before that's her she negated by now she knows what Coca-Cola and finale he wanted to take that we would let her take a couple of little sprite and things like that they had all this the tasting machine place at the end of it so she was pacified by taking a couple of those but you know it works advertising works why would people spend billions of dollars on it if it didn't so advertising is creating our culture you're bombarded by this message that devalued this is a drink this is wonderful you'll love it and at the same piercing images everywhere the people who seem to be considering all these garbage foods and drinks and yet they have the perfect bodies that are made out to be exactly what your body should look like whether or not but maybe with that same body type are not in others and more fake at the more vacant metamorphic different body types young people it is more muscular some are more big boned some are naturally very but is not healthy for some people with one body type to try to squeeze themselves down to the southern body type and because people are gotten so self-centered in our culture because were not spinning finally building our sense of identity and worth on him we are our need to become something to measure up and magnified we worry about what people think of us to much and of course in advertising you have all the three touching how many of you have seen the death commercial where they retouch this woman can be anything that is actually really good one to these advertising for a change where they have a woman sit down in front of the camera to the will her hairy flat her face is not been made up and she's just sitting there and then they do this you know quick thing is a you know you watch as it goes utterly uncalled time relaxing with the baby they show you and your rate is made up her hair is done in the name below her hair back and she looked beautiful and she gets all the pictures taken and then they retire kit maker on your maker you are guilty things that the computer and then it went up on the billboard is that beauty is not reality at all so we are bombarded when you just walk to the grocery store not only are all the things that are selling in the grocery store full of pictures on the package is that promise that you'll look like this is only drink that they got to the magazine section trying to just get to the checkout beautiful people everywhere and are unrealistic toys Barbie doll new knees you know TV all these things tell you you must look like that for our and our Lady life file on top of all that people people end up becoming bulimic or anorexic often because there with becoming what they are not and we had the instant gratification culture I can eat all this and then throw it out and also great it's an addiction in the deadly one but it comes from is the fruit is an author route it comes from not building our sense of worth on God 's love for us therefore I feel I need to be something that beautiful unlovable or worthwhile the Bible has a simple solution for this it says is still and know that I'm gone you know our culture is so fast-paced anytime when I'm doing something we've got all these are the things that we could be doing now I live right on the edge of his university campus students are walking across campus I was walking anymore but I think when I'm talking to somebody whether on the phone with you they just can't sit there and walk peacefully in the sunshine that you have to do something something all the time we live in this culture that doesn't have time to meditate doesn't have time to spend time with God and then when people decide they are going to meditate they did a self-centered meditation where you enter your mind model does not say that we should empty your mind it says we should fill it by meditating on the word not by emptying it of anything useful that may make you feel relaxed but it's not changing into the image of God which is the purpose of our life when our sense of worth and ability is not based on spending the time with God drinking in his love recognizing him think just about out of all my fault with all my weaknesses with all my hackney he loved me like this when I'm drinking in his unconditional love for us then we start feeling like we need to do something to prop up our work right we have to become something so God solution to address problem and to the culture problem is I spending quality time alone with him then we don't have a fragile sense of worth and we start knowing he love me she wants to be with me even if nobody else is think I'm beautiful so when you when you feel like you need to know when you start getting that thirsty feeling you what I'm talking about he's been there we start feeling wow I just wish I could go cut my hair do something I want to look different recognize that when and if the caller got your heart saying we would meet for lunch and ninety that you feel better about yourself not because you're empty shallow feelings are better because he went shopping and bought new clothes because you know him he loves me just the way I am him right now our culture if you want demand that time away from God will demand that you fall into I got a B knee right how many of you heard that you heard I got to be me I got a B knee is so important it out you hear the you can just be relaxed follow your heart I just was on the train yesterday in Atlanta when the airport my father 's girl and bought man I wish I could take a picture of that and use it for an illustration she had on this blast brass and lace leggings P care neon pink I was waiting for my daughter after pink hair great to think this girl had he hair and not enough that she had had to of the bumblebee over her whole chastity yet it is a special kind of person to have a bumblebee tattoo across the entire front of your chest that are now lateral and motivated her but I know she's bitter regret that is if you do governor holds the jihad in New Jersey and NY loan up to show up almost the whole bumblebee wow and I thought wow she had the time you think about herself I know she's desperate for identity she wants somebody to think she is special she wants to be neat she's got something to make her feel like she's different from everybody else because our sense of identity is based on I'm different I knew me I am me I got the knee wants us to base our something worth on the fact I'm just like everybody else on the Internet were in his eyes and so is every other person around me three of you have never heard of the Darwin awards in the Darwin awards and Darwin awards are awards must be given posthumously in other words after death to people who kill themselves by doing really stupid things and their idea in their their website is a straight up basically we want to thank these people for removing themselves from the gene pool well yeah pretty funny and some of their stories are all called by inundating it funny to hear that crazy things that people attend themselves the mentality behind that say Darwin awards your people who basically the people were not very intelligent because they committed crimes in another dumb things that brought them to their death in a leap on top of an electric fence things they make it really dumb things felt were so grateful they remove themselves in the gene pool because people were not very intelligent like myself I'm very intelligent they are not very intelligent we're glad you're not around anymore to reproduce because we want to have intelligent people like me now that could very well that evolutionary mentality government some people are worth more because they are smarter other people are worth as much because they are not as smart but when were all created in the image of God and we see every single one of us is of infinite worth in the light of the cross to change the way we would think were not valued based on how we compare to other people in the decided out there there a lot of these kind of things people of Walmart .com and everything that out of funny terrible but it's funny to see people of Walmart .com is another one of those websites that shows pictures of people snapping Walmarts of people who dress and strange things that you got your standard people who wear tight white pants with zebra striped underwear underneath the new house strange strange bizarre outfits and so people go wow it may take a picture of this person Walmart posted on the other website it is hilarious but once again it's showing up mentality that a lot of people have that these people are lower than me they dressed weird are people over the needy has addressed weird when I look at something like that I may think what were you thinking when you put on their infinite value and glide across Monday Jesus was that person he sees them as worth just as much as me so do I have the right to put down now you see when we fall into the evolutionary mentality I think you have some people are more valuable because they are unique everything well people like me are actually pretty valuable therefore all the outdoorsy camping kind of people both people are cooler combat like me a phase like are people who don't know how to light a fire by themselves out in the woods they are not worth that much or you get the other way around the Cowboys made they can even dress up the save their lives versus me I know how to look polished and beautiful here in the we elevate ourselves as the paragon of these the people people like me are worth more versus those kind of people people who aren't like me are worth as much as self-esteem generation this is the mentality that comes from an evolutionary perspective thinking some people are worth more than other people just because but in bonsai people who are mentally disabled people who are old and incapable of taking care of himself everybody is the infinite worth in the line of the cross and Jesus would have died for everyone when when our sense of identity and worth is based on is not based on God becomes very easily based on what other people think of and that the problem with the self-esteem generation we we follow our heart far too much but the Bible says in Jeremiah seventeen nine the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it we look at life through biblical eyes you see what really is happening when you hear stuff like if I get in touch with yourself just think him yourself be free how important is that the analyst can be spending all our time trying to express ourselves getting in touch with ourselves when we get in touch with you God said before I feel informed in the wool in the Valley were in the womb I knew the Jeremiah one five if you get in touch with your creator at the one who can see what you're really worth innovations that have worked on how smart you are you now need to step on other people to prove you're smart of Americans you need they just doesn't work on how beautiful you are you to step on other people to prove that you're more beautiful than they are as God wants us to see ourselves as the same as everybody else in our and when we do that will change the way that we feel about how we dress the supply contracts are here and should not be about expressing herself by not reflecting God it should not be based on whether I'm reflecting what's really in need this is neither real need and our feelings about her homework should not rise and fall with our parents should shouldn't matter if I have greasy hair and on Acme and I just don't feel like I look beautiful today I can still go out rejoicing and hold my head high because of infinite worth and wide across right here people who wrap their identity around this issue I am often have to shift those identities our member watching one of my friends go through a lot of phase of his life verse he was then the ninja type value now dressed in black and keep it solid face all the time then he had me got cited that went into the skater phase after a while there was the camo phase you know you because we find I feel really good about myself for a while and it becomes my sincere wrap myself around this is who I am however may look at me this is the real me wow people don't pay attention we don't feel so good about ourselves and we got to latch onto something new this is the way it always is with the devil he makes us feel good Memphis is not enough is never enough if you shop a little more get a little more different than a little different than people a package to you then you feel better about our culture bombards us with this temptation to decorate ourselves to make ourselves look good to show on the outside what we're like because our culture is wrapped up in what your liking I is really important you know we live in the Twitter culture I don't know not even asked if anybody have a twitter account I don't than excited but you know I saw on CNN .com a while back twitter crashed and made made interviewed people about how they felt twitter is writing people put up in a remark that whatever they're doing at whatever moment during the day so extremely self-centered people think that everybody they know if you really want to know I'm driving to work right now I'm eating a hamburger I'm feeling strange eight oh eight really is this is such a self-absorbed culture and an inefficient on CNN .com article they had they quoted this one who said I didn't know what to do when I thought Twitter crashed I just suddenly felt like the only good Muslim identity you know what I can die I can't tell anybody what's going on in my head like wow that's intense it's really that important to you to express yourself everybody everything that's going through your head but of course we can do our Facebook status updates or whatever else it easy to get absorbed in thinking everybody else must be really interested in whatever's going on inside me but it really that important what's going on inside me with going on between Christ and Satan the panel for every person 's heart went important for many focus on letting everybody know what's going on inside me and often the last duty there is on the inside of us the more we feel obligated to decorate the outside to show people what the outside must look like because we don't have beauty in her heart we consulted the works and then we feel like we got to do something on the outside make everybody admire who we think we are I asked I took this picture of my son not too long ago should do we were just running around playing in the yard and then afterward my sisters were looking at him laughing as they looked like in some Abercrombie models is to be in a game I actually was thinking you know I have a personal thing about Abercrombie I just think that disgusting and I'm absolutely revolted by their advertising I went to Google to try to find something about Abercrombie energy is an illustration here but with it to be printed there wasn't a single thing that had Abercrombie written on it that ought to have been seen by human eyes unless you're married to that person that it's just full why would you use raunchy advertising and yet in our culture Abercrombie you know to be able to have that written across her shirt splashed on you it says something about who you are right I have money I mean style I know what cool it was not cool with my niece and nephew moved over from Africa to America you know it was it was interesting seeing how they were different from American teenagers they were the maybe thirteen and fourteen at the time something like that and the American teenagers were so caught up in having to wear the right name brands both of them in care namely whether the matter was written on front of her shirt that changed over time but you know back then they didn't care about those things because they had been brought up in a culture that makes a god out of wearing the right name brands if you wear the right namebrand show that you have money so we fall into this culture over sexualizing and falling for the advertising amphitheaters where gas is where this manual be cool you know I had some overalls that his sister had bought didn't give me that had Tommy Hilfiger written on the on the suspender strap and I was really cute they were not functional by more than and in my mom told me that somebody commented to her that New York they had met me in the outcome and intimidated like wow you know she's she's wearing those overall the really expensive in my mounted on the option got the secondhand you know she's not add up to become a person who spends a lot of money but I thought maybe I was because I think he thought was so cool they felt intimidated by me and I finally know what they're going out Windows anymore I don't want anybody to feel that what I wear in is a fine of how much money I have just wrong I want to show off what we have or don't have the Bible says women for their part to display their beauty by dressing modestly indecently inappropriate quote not vibrating their hair or by wearing gold pearls or expensive quote but through good works now not saying that God wants us to start trumpeting our good works putting those on the outside and making sure people know what were doing that's not his plane and all assets women should show their beauty and were not the most address and fax were not the most aware drab colors that we make sure don't flatter ethanol or drab styles are ugly things were not supposed to be working ugly on purpose but God doesn't want us to try to advertise herself as beautiful and they got our focus we should display our beauty by dressing modestly indecently inappropriate clothing not by braiding her hair the braiding her hair but by making that the focus of our beauty or by wearing gold pearls or expensive clothes you notice how many good evangelist of needing to hear all about the golden curls Delaware called nowhere Perl and copyright that is going to get their expensive clothing jewelry and nowadays you know living on the University campus I hear all the arguments against it now why jewelry is okay now and one of the main ones is of course low back then people were there golden pearls to show how much money they had but now we don't well appointed back in the old days when the Bible was written for my born jewelry in order to show how much money they had went now you can buy something that looks almost the same over at secondhand stores and has been on it right so right well if that's the only thing you're considering you may not spend a lot of money and wearing jewelry that probably cost more for my husband to buy a nice tie than it does for me to wear a nice pearl necklace writer Lisa Perl looking necklace if finances are the absolute only thing to consider what you got a point but what about the other factors gold pearls and expensive clothes when I'm spending money on clothes for one thing especially if I'm wearing and spending money on closer namebrand one thing we shouldn't have good quality clothes we need to have good quality clothes that save money make sure that you don't end up with a nice pair in the side of your shirt because it was stitched together so cheaply and we don't want to waste our money I think I'm playing around the boarding slave labor over in China but that's neither we can't always trace where clothes are coming from but what we do need to be aware of is that we're not supposed to be advertising much money we had that one principle one principle among many how we choose what were wearing we don't want to try to show off I got a lot of clothes therefore I'm cool therefore you should now be privileged now if you like name but on the other hand if you're wearing jewelry and what is not going to do for you if I found a pearl necklace what is that going to do for me even if it's fake pearls or hearing where that twenty two if you draw attention to me it can make people look at me now I feel like I'm just putting the finishing touches on my outfits which I went it because that's not the culture had been raised and a lot of people who come into the church reentering jewelry when they first go out without their jewelry on they feel like whom I feel so strange like I can finish getting dressed this morning but what jewelry do what is wearing ornaments do for us it really just a way of expressing ourselves further showing I'm unique on special jewelry nowadays it usually about that you can go out and now find rock therapies and what is little-known and little crosses or what have you wanted to you can make your own jewelry and it may not cost you very much money but it can be an expression of yourself and when you where it didn't feel different about yourself right you're showing to everybody this is who I am this is what I'm like look at me now I know some people Elizabeth is a know not why I wear jewelry I do not admit sometimes that is a prominent motive for people they wear jewelry in order to make them feel like they're expressing their uniqueness now I'm not sure there's anything wrong for being unique God loves our uniqueness I have three children and I love them all immensely equally but I love them all differently and I love the unique things about them God designed us unique to the lover of uniqueness as wonderful a unique uniqueness is not why your valuables and if you dress in something that expresses yourself that influence other people you know it if I'm wearing something that I got in a secondhand store and I got a church that you know with my gold necklace on whatever and somebody else comes in movements struggling in other grandmother gave in his necklace they know it's worth a lot of money and they ought to get rid of this they are solid and give that money to the poor but you know they're wrestling the one where it am not saying that you have to sell something like that at the personal decision for somebody but I'm wearing something that is a stumbling block for someone else what does that do for them if I wear my wedding ring they cost ten dollars well within a hundred on their accomplishment out and there's a little than ten thousand Londoners may only use me as an excuse that the stupid reason but a good evening as an excuse do I want to partake in that process making somebody rationalize away the reasons why they should follow the convictions of their own conscience I don't want to participate in math so it's easier especially in our culture in this day and age just stay away from the things you know the world is not getting to be less focused on self that you can say well that their arguments against Georgia back in Bible days don't really apply anymore because were different now we are different now but we're not getting any less focused on ourselves and nowadays our culture is demanding show your unique to show how special you are express yourself in the things that you wear God wants us to do the opposite he wants us to express himself and think that we wear by the way that we dress the way that we act all of those things we can show other people what God is like rather than showing what we are like I I think you know in many ways dragons almost something we shouldn't even have to talk about what we should be talking about in our church and in our homes and our families and everything we do in why should I allow that Jesus has for us this incredible value that he places on the human soul we do that we spend time with God we meditate on his word we spend time in prayer that need for expressing herself making ourselves known to everyone around us is it amounts away you know in our culture of blog wherever they got right out all the details of what's going on in their heart by using the online space that gingery people got shipped out what was going on in their heart of the anguish and anger and Honey everything else on my downline training he really wrapped up in what's going on in your heart origin and thought about was going on and everybody else around you how they are battling hand-in-hand with the devil are you helping them organize many all your time thinking about what's going on in my heart and my life is a very important place for working through issues enough things that people gone through in their life I'm not minimizing the need to work through things and process and go through what's going on in my mind why do I feel what I feel but we have to remember paying is not our enemies and our enemy number of processing we got realized no way my women like doing to deal with the same issues in my life it finds that while I was abuse of the child process all that that's very important the verses that give meaning to process the issues but how we process them know your modern counselor will say come to my office every week and for a hundred bucks an hour I will listen to use deal about how much anger you have about being abused and that can help a lot right now but you will feel good you feel so much better week amount for all that off my chest and neck we can come back and it's all built up again he got a few again this is a culture that we've built our our culture is addicted the psychotherapy to painkillers to antidepressants because we want to date we don't want to get rid of the sin in our life we were going on somebody else find processing then infused I certainly had a processing abuse myself but what we do when we process in a healthy way by God 's grace if we ask Lord how is truth meet life to be talking about that tomorrow is truth me life and what's going on in my heart when I see what you say about what I should be doing and how I should be living then it doesn't matter what caught me to syndicate of course offenders we tend to react simply to fill in outfitting and stuff if I have injustice done against me I want to react unjustly back to that person I hate you look what you've done to me what are you destroyed my life while that's great that you let that destruction keep on going in your life forever there was a point in my life where I realized you know my grandmother 's been dead for ten years and yet his hand reaches out from the grave and gripped me and I decided enough is enough on 9/11 he's done to me read the rest of my life and so I chose to let go I chose to forgive not because he deserved it but because I deserved it because I needed to be free and that meant processing giving up those things but the chief thing I had to get up with my then hit anything was over he and add another face judgment and God will deal with him according to his works but my fan with resentment why then was saying your skin is so bad that you deserve to be burned well but my friend is bad enough that I deserve to be burned down in every one of us has since I would a lot have a right to say everybody else needs the Burns more than me now if I let that continue being in my life I decided to keep on spewing anger and this is what many people do the they become more and more self absorbed a thought expressed within my heart I may pour out their anger instead of letting God do with it instead of saying where's the same in my hearts at what needs to be processed Lord show me how I am sitting in response of the things that offend against me killing those sense then your freight at how you break free from the power of the devil that you didn't even let the one who is really behind every bad thing that happens in this world we get even by saying Lord set me free from the power of sin that God wants us to do as we process of the turn inward look at the turn inward what God wants us to hand everything over to him instead of getting in there and thinking and new being in blogging and hashing through all of the stuff that's going on in my life what matters is what going on between God and me and as I work through that God will keep on technical Internet with each event handling conflict in needs to go that's not like me that's not loving you now Lord that you have always done anything it doesn't matter that that was what modeled he was a child it doesn't matter that other people think against genetically it have to go it doesn't matter where it came from it's going let me pull it out God pulled things out when he leaves the garden he pulled out by the roots he doesn't just leave it there not that means we still need just like any garden there always believes growing until Jesus comes there will always be things coming up in our lives where the Lord is saying that he did everything but your motives were not fully pure and purifying holders God wants to change continually enter them into more and more day by day and that that's what's at the heart of how we dress Wendell when we only worry about the outward things we forget about the inward things will focus on the inward things the outworking start coming into line with God 's word to the online daughter had a real battle with jewelry this is my beautiful daughter named she had a real battle acts as she was about three years old maybe for or him we gave her some toy jewelry she was thrilled she just showed us not long before that she been looking through magazines you found and brought me the pictures and Marlene gave that girl with the woman wearing pearls she can when I get married I'm direct really interesting that we sat down hello Bible study with daddy about what the Bible says about wearing pearls and she listened to the whole thing let me ask interesting mommy when I get married I felt when where not long after that she comes means that mommy and where that's my get married because I want Jesus to be with me and I don't want to be dressing up on the outside I want have a beautiful smart wonderful we pray together so happy then a few months later Cindy gets your jewelry of so she put it all on me the rain the bracelet the earrings clipped on these huge clotting to delete things and she sent out along the mommy said what was a very pretty things but what do you think of nutrition but I'm going to anyway the Jeanette Arai I've realized this was a battle between her and God so I cannot talk with her little times during the day I could tell she was under conviction you know what time she seemed and we're driving along the Cartesian money I want to be a missionary when I grow up but I can be because I wonder where my jewelry I was in the heart jewelry with only the fruit of the battle then one day she got up and she said mommy I'm drawing on my jewelry in the trash today she got it all up in the trash can thing it will be well young that was a powerful victory for her but they were little setbacks along the way and him every now allegedly law me I miss my jewelry it was pretty we have to talk and pray about it in a not long ago I had a friend writes me and said what should I do about my daughters who are struggling with jewelry and she told me that the situations and they been now influenced the aftermath of that what you think I should tell this mommy she says her girls want to wear jewelry line indicated to a letter to me for me to send to the mother which said in essence I used to have jewelry to and I liked it and it was very pretty but then I realized I love Jesus more and I threw it all in the trash some times I still feel sad because I miss my jewelry but I know we get to heaven then I can wear beautiful things because I won't have a selfish heart and he thought that was a pretty good sermon for a six-year-old and I know that in the end of the battle because she still has that carnal nature she still wanted decorator such as the one attention she's a little focus on appearance if she is focused on heart but I'm so glad to see what direction she's going to Berlin my sister was wrestling with with jewelry we were teenagers I decided to give up my jewelry that she had not just two years younger than I was and that one day you learn when we were kids and we used to when nobody was looking we take tinfoil and roll it into little rains and earrings and necklaces look around stealthily as to how beautiful I felt so guilty that was how it was delicious just feeling so beautiful I said you know I think when we get to heaven that's how we'll feel about the most beautiful jewelry we could've worn down here will look back and will save out with like wearing tinfoil was I thinking I didn't know about beauty and yell about a year later she got rid of her jewelry and she said in a that illustration needed me always with me whenever I put on my jewelry after that I look at it and thought and foil God wants to get you to get so much better the beauty of an inward spirit like him you know God is a lover of the beautiful and I believe we get that we don't have sinful natures anymore we won't be struggling with the things they won't be bad influence on other people he will decorated in all kinds of beautiful things is a positive crown either the lovers of beautiful but here on earth he wants us to focus on having beauty and her spirit beauty in our heart and it's always about the heart with God is not long ago I talked to a girl who she said she said when you think about my wearing makeup she said he now I have really bad acne and if I don't wear makeup I just feel so self-conscious about it I think now I want to ask you your own question why do you read and make does not make up at the problem I don't think it's a sense of phenomenal makeup that that is what's going on your heart I'm concerned about when you wear makeup what is it that you wearing it for you you feel better about yourself because you can go out looking really good does it make you more conscious of what you look like we go past the mirror you wanted to print make yourself look good are you conscious of what other people especially what size are thinking of you when you wear makeup what matters are concerned at the heart was going on in your heart when you read and make you feel like it's holding you back from going the direction God wants you to go literally thoughtful she said Annan to think about the next time I saw her she ran up to me and she said he shouldn't have any makeup on even him me it was an beautiful but her face was radiant she said I feel so wonderful I felt so good I just went out this morning instead now I'm in and rely on God is my duty and she felt rain descended and beautiful this is self creating I don't have to worry about what I look like anymore now I was so proud of her she made the right decision the makeup was not the issue it was what was going on her heart that made the difference and God is always at the heart it out we don't want to be grown-ups playing dress-up thinking that if we do a quick change on the outside well-being more beautiful other people value is more therefore will be more valuable what we feel about how we look what others think about how we look is not over measure of worth is based is based on God by pressing on the heart he wants beautiful hearts he wants arts that follow him hard this amended him and say if there's anything you want to take taken away because I want you to purge the front with the cleansing from inside and the outside stuff looking take care of itself but our heads and pray if we asked the board to to truly cleanse our hearts make us what he wants to be on enhancing your so good to use dressed as senior robe of righteousness and you told us what she wants to look like in your word here in spotless just like your son must be hung on the cross beautiful and not Lord we just want to have you revealed on the outside because you are the one who shining from the many that have been convicted about things that need to change in our lives Lord and is so given moment for each person to train surrender those things to God asking to take those Bobby thank you got to set us free to make us beautiful when you take our hearts Lord claimed them so that anything on the outside will fall off on making our e-mail

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