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Wholeness with Your Spouse

Edwin Nebblett Maria Nebblett

Conference

Recorded

  • October 30, 2010
    7:30 AM
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father of baby you further some of the blueprint as we begin this morning that you will teach us what it means to be holy such as print out your Holy Spirit will be here that you open our hearts to your message into your word I just printed again that you would speak through Doctor Neville 's wife and her family as they bring your message to us and in addition to practitioners to be here with you are very thankful for the opportunity that we have to share with you and we are praying that as you hear us you don't hear us but rather you hear the one that we choose by God 's grace to abide in because the Nablus family is I have news for you not perfect we are not perfect but we want by God 's grace to change the advantage of the power that he offers to every one of us to be victorious and that is what we want to share with you is our struggles and by God 's grace our victories yesterday we talked about the importance of revival in our personal life and some of those critical elements that are needed in order to have that growing intimacy with God today we want to share our experience a little more in depth in the context of the marriage relationship what was a marriage relationship look like when it is yielded to the Lord Jesus Christ and Ellen White says that God begins ten R marriages via an agent for the blessing of humanity so the marriage relationship is not just meant to bring the warmth of companionship which I pray that it doesn't to provide assistance for man and encompassing the work that God has given for him to perform for his glory but also to increase the usefulness and the happiness of both man and wife this is the way it was in the Garden of Eden God wants to make our reunion under Jesus Christ scientist work that will result in our homes being the happiest place on earth the very symbol of a home in heaven but in order for our marriage is to be all that it can be bringing joy and fulfillment of both partners both husband and wife and the children or anyone else in the home it needs to be a marriage where each partner is fully surrendered to God and is experiencing revival and wholeness with God in his or her own life and instead of us being driven by self from our fleshly desires you know the take-home message here is that a godly husband and wife are first a godly man the best gift you can give your spouse and the best investment you can make your marriage is seeking to become more like Jesus instead of trying to change your spouse and desire of ages page one seventy two we read the Christian 's life is not a modification or improvement of the old about a transformation of nature there is death to self and sin and a new life altogether Romans six twelve through fourteen says let not sin therefore will reign in your mortal bodies the usual way is in the lusts thereof neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin but yield yourselves unto God and those that are alive from the dead and your members as instruments of righteousness for sin shall not have dominion over you for ye are not under the law but under grace it is grace that is more than sufficient when we are dealing with the challenges of life for you now as we share as a couple these practical illustrations today our struggles and our victories it is interesting that in marriage which is one of the most intimate unions that God wants us to have is where our greatest joy and our greatest perplexities can arise we want to share in the context of this that yielding to the inclination to fulfill our selfish desires always leads to conflict and alienation on the other hand learning by the grace of God to surrender in the moment of temptation or trial can lead to victory peace fulfillment and wholeness in our marriages although our main focus however today is to encourage American couples to cooperate with God to make their marriages Alden what happened to be the principles that we want to share a self-denial humility surrender and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit will apply to everyone here and you can benefit to them in them in the context of any relationship that you might have him going from page three until victory in your life or if you are experiencing more ornate basis Frank God is longing to pick me over and we went over and we battle with an ugly battle without he will stay in our spectrum love and faithfulness he that spared not his own son but the minute you not for all how shocking there within also freely give us all things Romans eight thirty two teams that promised the twentieth which he knew would make the difference between success and failure they come which LN the desire of ages page six seventy two they promised blessing claimed my faith brings all other blessings in its train by definition talking about the power meant of the Holy Spirit she said that it was that I guessed that he could solicit from the father or the vocation of his people I am so excited as I was listening to pastor family last night normally the movement that is taking place in our leadership today to prepare us for the latter rain I were just beside ourselves with excitement we were listening to be a welcome message from the annual compound focus on the way here in the car and were just rejoicing and praising God was so consistent as we were listening to that message with with what the barn that I have put in our heart to bring to you this morning that we are praising God the Spirit is the generating agent she said it makes the heart your and quote them could be racist and overcome only to them by the agency on the third person of the Godhead do you want to become a part of faster that if that will ensure victory in an area of your life do you want to have spiritual appetite but you will get into the house were involved before the dawn breaks do you want to experience unity with your spouse that you marriage can be often intended to be a black thing for the last thing of humanity we discussed some of the elements yesterday that are crucial if you long for their being hyper Christian experience we talk about the importance of saturating in renewing our minds with Scripture we talk about the power of prayer and how helpful it is to make lifestyle choices that are consistent with him to bring spirituality that are conducive to victory instead of creating that the between and are gone and involvement of the Holy Spirit and then worries that in this process is critical and it is something that we want to dwell out and look at other men open more and that as we entertained the subject of a Malindi experience with God that transforms your personalized our relationship our marriages our parenting in our relationships with all others friends and genuine experience with God is something it doesn't desire of ages page six seventy one only when the truth is accompanied to the heart by the Holy Spirit dwelling in the conscience or transformed the life that's an okay of a Christian experience that is Ararat in the mirror formality or mechanical process and it can turn it until we land being dynamic now being fulfilling paving relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ so look at what part do we have to play in becoming professors of that gift was in a very practical sense we must not only pray for the unknowing teen invited outpouring of the Holy Spirit but we must learn to recognize the prompting of the Holy Spirit today and learn to yield to his guide he must be in control of our life I might write about this challenge she says there are many who believe and proclaim believe and profess the claimed the Lords promise they talk about Christ and they talk about the Holy Spirit by they do not sell rent or the soul to be treated and controlled by the divine agencies we can not use the Holy Spirit the Holy Spirit must use part is to learn what to surrender in a very practical way I was from the garbage of page six seventy two and he will you assess if we cultivate the habit of moment by moment surrender to this prompting you to do now our selfish inclinations and to live I have free word that proceeds out of the mouth of God if we are failing in the word communism and removing English in their eighth year the Savior which is what every one of our favorite if we are taking time to behold Christ not just been in a five-minute quick reading of a devotional thought handing in his preference curating our mind with the principles that address are very personally color growing intimacy with God will prepare each morning to be sensitive throughout the day to see you and empowered to open a the promptings of the Holy Spirit that was the story of the life of Jesus Jesus was a perfect example was perfectly surrendered the will of the father every moment of every day at the high choice death on the cross and humanity he shrank from it to our humanity would shrink from it he said other involved intimately moving the puck from me and he wasted from printer never find me be done are we willing to follow him in that moment by moment surrender he said in Matthew sixteen twenty four if any man will come after me let him why he himself take up his cross and follow me friendly have countless opportunities to do this throughout the day to deny ourselves and surrender to his lordship to his guide which is when the alarm alarm goes off in the morning at that earlier kinds that we can take time with him we have a surrender to make it especially if you're not a morning person such as when our files or winner child says something that promote health to rise enough and we want to respond in agitation no the beautiful thing if he does not need to accomplish following him in those moments I ourselves because he knows that in our human Rob we are warning you according to Romans we are carnal sold under sin naturally got the last of our flesh my friend that I paid the wages of sin into force on the condemnation of the law but to them for estimated possible by his grade that we can be our walk in newness of life being atmospheric better meaning sinful selfish inclinations of our flesh so if we consent he is willing to work in a enough balls to go inside here and to do the will of God Philippians two thirteen things the way have a choice to make at the beginning of each day and then we have a choice to confirm many choices to confirm that choice with me throughout the day and it's a choice between the Lordship of Christ which leaves the keys and freedom or we can show some manager over life and each thing the Christian will yield the promptings of sin for the flesh lusted after the spirit of the spirit lost up against the flesh Galatians five seventeen keeping us in a state of constant warfare here is where Christ's help is needed human weakness becoming united with the mind and strength and faith explains thanks be to God which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ I like to illustrate this battle as warfare itself from my own experience in encountering differences of opinion often occurs in relationships how we do you know the differences of opinion makes the difference between keeping our hold on Christ or letting go the flesh does not like to yield to anyone else's opinion which is sometimes the case between Maria and myself I'm so thankful that is less and less frequent by God 's grace we don't often see things differently some time ago Maria and I were discussing a situation where I saw things differently on the way that she did conflict arose because of a discussion that I had had earlier with our young people we had received in three invitations a few days previously to do ministry in New Mexico where we live most of our ministry invitations come from much further away from home while the special desire and so does my family to reach people in my backyard so to speak that the message that God has given us to share so I wanted to accept these invitations without having them wait too long or children respectfully objected to this after we discussed it for a few minutes it became apparent that we could not come to an agreement we were discussing this in the car and realism there but it became very clear to me that she was a saint very much that she was not agreeing but should understand where our children were coming from a position was very important to me because I felt that my family seemed unwilling to sacrifice for the cause of God and I was feeling agitated that itself I directed my family that we should all take the time to write about these requests before we continued our discussion saw a little while later while our young people were in some store I don't know what store it was Maria and I continue the discussion program we were still in the car she and I but they were gone I realize I began to realize that I was feeling angry I wasn't shouting because she did not see things my way fortunately my bride by the grace of God has come a long way in dealing with this selfish heart and she shared what was in her heart instead of attacking me because of my attitude she shared how difficult it was for her to follow my leadership when I was meeting with the attitude that I was displaying she said very quietly she said she was committed to following me anyway but I was making it very difficult and very unpleasant for her to do so while I'm speaking to my wife I became aware that my rising anger was the problem is not my family insisting on having their own way I stop speaking for a few minutes while I started to pray for myself I should've done that long time before I was praying now that I would see things as God sees them not as icy BC I was itself by thank the Lord like my wife said that he is able to call to my cart even when I am in self-confidence to do he wants to save us from ourselves and the consequences of our selfish behavior he wants to interrupt our train of thought and Cold War hearts to surrender to him when we are straying from him through our sinful attitudes and I near so here a word behind the saying this is the way walk ye in Isaiah thirty twenty one he has promised and the Lord shall guide thee continually Isaiah fifty eight eleven but Rosenberg can only do this if we are willing to be led however if we are sent on having our own way if we ignore has called our hearts and in all honestly sometimes we not even realize it in the moment but if we are willing and we ask him to make us more sensitive to the problems of the Holy Spirit I did get through to us and to reveal to us when we are operating in the flesh is not of the Spirit he is eager to answer that prayer and when he does and we hear that still small voice calling we now have a choice to make we can either surrender in my case my anger frustration or educational whatever your sin is at the moment and we can make that choice and not my will but thy will be done it is only after we make that choice and he pours his grace upon us to give us his overcome our flesh and the enemy and carry out his will within now a peaceful surrender heart so now I bring because I'm now aware and I'm convicted of my feelings of anger the ends seven verse twelve says for godly sorrow work if the repentance unto salvation so I confessed to my wife but my problem is I'm angry but the family is not seeing it the way I see it shall situation was that months before we had a discussion is a family that was no longer fresh in my mind it have to do with the fact that the FreeBSD year we had made more ministry commitments than we can handle and this produced stress in my home balance is a real challenge I know all of you know what I'm talking about the family was suffering in different ways because of it another family we where we discussed and prayed and agreed on the number of ministry commitments that we would do our year on all that we thought was reasonable to do as a faithful ministers without jeopardizing the well-being of our family inside half thing balance what we have already scheduled that number of ministry commitments of the year I just begun my family wanted to answer these recent invitations the following year why totally forgot about this conversation I felt that my family in the moment was being unreasonable it seemed to me that they were making their decision based on not praying about on the spot I believe that since these ministry requests were all within three to four hours for our home we shouldn't consider them might reconsider trips that are much further away from what is I talked with Maria now subdued by the spirit and able to hear she began to explain to me the impact on our family of balancing ministry our children's educational and work pursuits and our daily responsibilities I was now able to understand and appreciate their desire to say no to see whether at home or away from home my family puts a lot of effort into different aspects of our ministry but I am not aware of because I am out of the whole working so very frequently we have families that come to our home and we minister them into our home and I come home from work ready and eager and ready to share they've been doing it all day long I am just not aware of all of the work that they have put into ministry while soon as I realized this I saw the changes that need to be dealt with was the change in my heart I surrendered the issue in a conflict which I created was resolved I was willing to surrender my views and to resolve up comes the enterprise the hearing easily the relationship of a person whose heart is not continually surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ this is because we are always serving one of two masters and when Jean got a green screen in our heart the enemy is and our national pride in our selfishness of rule thirteen days only by pride cometh contention when we can have in our own way or satisfying from selfish longing that we have in someone and in the way click will arrive and we are naturally and immediately ready for combat humility friends in the potential if we are to live together in harmony with others when they are humble and we are full glory for me and laughing and giving others we may think the enemy who have to indicate conflict by encouraging our naturally self-centered and we badly spirit to prevail a copy of the think only or primarily of ourselves when we are consciously submitted to the Lordship of Christ we know matter what is happening around the we can be at rest this is a miracle of grace and as long as we remain around are cried not playing in the third RP in the most beautiful experience I know you experience it the other hand in our sinful human nature selfishness and pride are natural and they can be ever present when that is the case we are apt to become agitated at the slightest provocation for incident we don't like to be told what to do we find it offensive because of our national pride self-sufficiency the more insignificant remark or anything can precipitate conflict with itself is alive and he gave you a personal example for some reason that I think has something to do with the way that my brain is wired I prefer to drive in the left lane is there's two lanes have a choice you can find me driving on the left wing if I am driving and thinking about hunting out and I am have to do everything on driving consciously thinking of what I'm doing you will find me driving the left lane now used to be years ago that when my husband would know if they behavior she would immediately face very change to the other lane the proposal would be my response was to send all the tiny as a immediate change in a way now I immediately felt provoked and I thought what should I know that we can try or if any I didn't fail helping but that would come to mine in my attitude would immediately change Southwood Drive what would we find that attitude would be followed by a strong disagreement and a possible dispute that would go something like this before I read I'm reminded that when we must prepare our messages whether it's just a marriage message or a single message we always discussing our living room after we prepared our part we come together and when we prepare this message we were sitting in the living room with our children we want to bear their input and when we should register this illustration they started laughing hilariously and we we thought it was not find him neither one was laughing as we were recalling and writing they found the reason they were laughing and that this happened when they were just little children this would happen often but it would happen often enough that they could almost finished the sentence before I became a member needed conflict that would occur when mom would be driving in the left lane and Martin van with helping to please change the look to the writing so I would help with rides up in the that godly attitude would rule this is what her next exchange would go like you're not supposed to be driving and listening wine honey this is to be used as the passingly so I'm not driving slowly nobody needs to pass me what the point is you're not following the rules you see you should move old works in the right lane when you're not passing someone I am following the rules there is no rule that I can't drive on the left lane I prefer the left lane honey honey if the police EU that you get pulled over friend visiting understanding and enjoying I will hold over our final finale which I am going get cars behind us and they would access the equipment is your your blocking them and they can get no business asking me I already live in general philanthropic original writing I'll be living sometimes mean they would have to be breaking a law against it from the other side obviously things are anything to it wasn't funny to us everything we would engage in this conversation is the movement utilities we really this process using home we are no longer we are no longer a couple in harmony his driving and enjoying conversation and sharing now we are in conflict all because South is alive in me and I am promo by my husband telling me what to do in the solution learning in the moment to the perfect will of his to have that restrained to tune into the void the same boy that we have been to listening to if we get into God 's word every morning and to breathe a prayer of surrender you think that you know and I will send bondage but I do know I am sure that the still small voice was calling to my heart with with I will feel like it is only a connection one to another in brotherly lot there in one another however was not tuned into that boy I even care when I was in the middle of my application I is a newbie needing work release he had brought me of my husband spent a long way learning to surrender I have learned that the way landlord is the way he the way of acting and harmony fulfillment now I have to confess to you I am still inclined to drive on the left lane when you know what not married to it anymore the difference is that how I hate the joy of surrender and currently when I unconsciously found writing on the left lane and it happened again just yesterday before I was in the car accident what the yesterday we were here yesterday and it was an old and I would want my children to think continue immediately now I do it regularly I mean and the rendering many times through the years and at first it was downright painful I'm confident we'll find answering chord in my heart it is my enjoy the heels of my hot energy yield for my children or to yield to the driving drivers behind me choosing preferring choosing their reference their comfort and convenience over my natural selfish inclination friend there room freedom parameter and again I don't want to make it found that I have achieved this in every every instance I can tell you that I'm doing it with freezing frequency and finding more and more delight in obedience to the call of the Spirit in my life if you like to do thy will O my God gay guys and law is within my heart that was the experience of Jesus that was the experience of Daisy that can be the experience of each one of us we don't have to be in bondage to the enemy or to our natural selfishness there is no joy in selfishness is enjoying when you fight it out and get your way you really have to wait really you may have a perverse satisfaction and joy because joy is the fruit of the spirit when we surrender to him he is in control but when we are intent on controlling the situation the spirit is not in control enjoy is the fruit of the spirit when we surrender to his will our hearts can begin to be in unison with the heart of God which allows to use and serves the rejoicing continually forced to be carnally minded is death but to be spiritually minded is life and peace Romans eight in no way sharing what we call to my heart but sometimes in our relationships reactive provoked because of certain behaviors that are spouse has and we sold to when we want to change them in oh how my wife changed me she didn't she focused on what the Lord would have her to do as I saw God working in her heart it call to my that's how you become change agents in your family this works for boys and girls it works for moms and that's you can be a change agent in your home by allowing Jesus Christ to change you as the secret the secret is not your way the secret is his way just want to add something earlier and as you were sharing to mention that in order to for a marriage to become all that it can be both partners need to be fully surrendered to Christ give a word of encouragement to those of you who are now in a relationship where you are working out walking together with your spouse because friends even one partner in the relationship that is fully surrender to Christ and remain in that surrender to our state can bring a measurable cooling into your home even to that partner who is not surrender to Christ and more than anything the immeasurable good is something that you experience yourself because in that experience of being surrendered to Christ even though you are walking alone you are entering into the sufferings of Christ and experiencing more intimacy with him than you could ever hope to give up so please don't don't give up don't take heart knowing that even though you cannot control your spouse and there was a day when we were not walking together and I tried for years for years I tried to change my husband four years I tuned to leave our family in in warship and and he is part of the time and then it would go by the wayside and then I would nag him again and he would do it again and then it will go by the wayside I was not until he decided I want to serve you want to the house you want to knows you can't want to be the past wife that I can be I want to be the best mother that I can get beat I do it for your sake because of my love for you regardless of what my husband for what my children it was when I made that commitment which is so totally at spirit let commitment and a spirit and power commitment at the most amazing results began to happen in our lives not overnight but over time cannot dramatically changed our home amen as an encouragement I don't know about you but it is even in our home when our young people make a commitment that they will stand in some area forgot it affected the entire family mom and dad included we just want to encourage you that God wants us to be overcome at the live our life of victory that brings holiness into our marriages and every other relationship that we have for whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world and this is the victory that overcomes the world even our faith in the spirit of God works in man to subdue his passions and make him victorious over pride envy and selfishness the same way that Peter walked on the water or the walls of Jericho fell down and it's the same way that all the heroes of faith overcame their physical battles by faith by taking a hold of the reviving God once offered to each and every one of those who lead for the rest until they get by our children to come up as we want to close this message with a song surrender enough they're coming everyone in your thoughts from Adventist home page one oh five that is really directed to husbands and wives this is what it says constantly behold him and your love for him will daily become deeper and stronger as it is submitted to the test of trial and as your love for him increases your love for each other will grow deeper and strong laptops its promise we can take hold a moon and will I seems is and he and my lungs Jane mom my Mac and I didn't silently see and my manual and was an name or him and all mine and Leon and one and in him I and me or now being in an and you mean that I can and is in the planning and gain an murdering the same name and in and me then they will be my name is on and he in being in and in a way I have an eye for a day him him him any meaning I is he and he will and will and him and he and him and me name him and him and is in time will have been in a in this media was using my audio verse four amen this Pentagon and then when you like to learn more about Nina please visit www. a man who has not like there was more free online service in WW online universe

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