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Call It Anything But Love, Part 1

Nicole Parker Steve Nelson

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Abuse. It happens in the church. Yet discover how the amazing power of God's intervening grace brings healing and wholeness.

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him him him him this message was presented to key wisely two thousand and eleven hundred other resources like this is the online menu I see where I had to share with you how we got to the place of having is that if you have is access to this is in way to just try to best I can share with you what brought her to the place that she's at today here we talk about abuse and sometimes it will very help because it gets little personal I certainly don't know your stories but I imagine there is people great to have experience of youth his audience I think of you specially spiritual views on why the hardest things to the frankly we have a God promise to CSC plan of his raise the non-Christian home features three years old her mother and father divorced and her mother dated the unit finally she remarries and snap his life seemed to be okay for all for one on the outside everyone looking inward thought this was just a nice here was a good father hearing for this young girl in the smoldering and everything seemed okay except what often happens in abuse home on that haven't used the outside of the world sees is completely different what's going on inside you hear it many times like really that person was like that when Jeffrey Dahmer was him of the serial killer who actually cannibalize his people and those logos and the neighbor said really that he said that he does seem like such a nice snap the stepfather accuracy of the story little more detail is the is passed away since the time of the story so there's more things that can be sure that may be helpful to you he started at a very young age to abuse him and a person was just the verbal abuse like yourselves do you know he would do things the kind of torture her kind in and mental sort of way these little games like Byron who threw shoes and Intel are either take those issues and burn the other stupid stuff what happens is your self-esteem starts to slowly becoming a slowly start to feel like there's nothing that you can do this right we started going to school that was a matter of you couldn't get a perfect grade if you even get an A+ once the law was the probably fabulous extra credit line you whining you do listen to sell his one step after another slowly degrading her as a person and opened up a vulnerability where she would later become a SG grew up into her teenage life of her stepfather the abuse became more physical started with you with highways the big argument and after the argument he would have the disciplinary leverage technology felt he would be very and he would say you know this because you are now thought to me in those kind of things and an abuse became the school never thought what she did find out later lawn starts to reflect back in the past wasn't this the physical abuse and I regarded it became the him more visible along the direction I is over number door for her to try and accelerate you see is a can control your life home this is out of control we can never deal with rights she could do one thing right and she could control the effective worksheets when she ate and how she is so she began very anorexic in fact it was to the point where kids at school started to tease her and out this was back in the eighties time back then there was a sawmill and around the country was we are the world and it was a group of rock 'n roll singers got together and did the song is as a way to raise money for the Ethiopian children in southern Kansas woman made a poster they drove her and call her the Ethiopian poster child in a table Nichols on poster known as a way to try and ridiculed her father 's abuse is through the school of this method got stated in officer 's new house sale Annex C okay there better be a little louder this time louder when one is so throughout this she knew how to maintain that Scholastic but there is a vulnerability to see what some of interviews they don't know how to say no doesn't mean no person him here B Junior saying now when he does it anyway the longer your world has turned upside down yes this whatever you knows that we not know you don't want about sixty years old and she was invited she was assured with her friends and really a lot of people there she went with her friends to get out of the country the dropped off the party and she got there she found that she was the only girl there were three football players there she was in a safe place against her wishes answer focus is this overhaul should no place to hide and so your parents that I was a slave by three boys that is abusing you that no one unfortunately boys busy that guy starts to talk those words get around and lots ended up being one of using a young girl wasn't raised in a Christian home was fleeting for God to somehow stop this icon Smith and I Matthew is eighteen twenties I thought she was just perfectly normal what was the ideal idea of a was this dark path no idea that anyone could ever have that kind of your passage it really wasn't what I had understood the world I grew up in fourth-generation avenues for the most part I will be good home there was some abuse will share that moment the GLA was we started dating and young ladies young man who your real probably can't understand where this is going because when you come into a relationship you bring all your past with your eyes you'd like to think last what happened off the experience I went through but it really doesn't affect me is not because I love the Samantha she's a pretty girl she's gone altogether she is doing wonderful things that I didn't understand what what it meant for some of the inner relationship with a retrieve and display she wanted to get married rhino offers day of the person we went on a blind date and friends had us up she wanted to be my brother so she worked with Samantha and she said here I got a friend who I was so we went out and we went to the beach in California we had a very nice and right off the bat we hit it off very well we leave we had a lot of things in common we are connecting with and that she told me very early on it I will be married by now I was like a cover to do it over and that real-time the ordinary today sure that you know there were things and in her life that I even know it seemed was perfect not everything was was the mix you don't know how to say no you your barriers to protect yourself on their win I would tell Samantha Burke for years I was a you know like that guy is flirting with his father Lindsay a guy is a little different intuition women today who often use their intuition that wholesale we called up for alert perpetrator who is trying to act inappropriately they don't understand it but a woman who hasn't been abused her ability to to understand inappropriate behavior is very very a lot more things you never understand so it was a period of time there where we were back and forth of our relationship well we here in the fall of that year we had talked about getting married I told her I just wasn't ready to find something didn't work for me I was praying God you just let me know that this is the right relationship that this is a disincentive this was a lifetime and I wasn't what she wanted you I didn't know about it the whole summer Smith had been planning for some she has been going to a therapist said he had been prescribed for her medication for depression and the medication that she was on everyday work she decided she wanted to find out what the lethal dose of this medication would be and actually publish that information with a social window resources you found it and she decided that a certain day she was going to take her life she will know of your family who knows me with in order I thought everything was fine I got up to go to work it was a foggy morning unbeknownst to me the night before she parked her car just down the street from me again alone I wake up he will work you'll be the first one to find my car out of the Romeo and Juliet is lasagna and see what work I came home my home neighbor lady told me that Samantha action to gone into her car just six times in the you know we can be thankful that God doesn't leave us to our own your own and she didn't know was there was a lady who was later apartment across the street who is awakened in the middle of nice and was impressive the look out her window this yields out at her window she says she sees a woman outside her car carrying a baby in the middle of the night vision lease please come Smith is what you call there was a lady will be we know that God is Israel hospital they had to restart her heart 's she did to open up the next day if I sleep with you when you try to commit suicide rather than help you from from taking a lifetime and she realized that it didn't work and she says she was so gone I did it perfectly I plan to perfectly will you will will realize what was apparent I showed up yelling I I need to do is I I gave her a book on the life of these negatives are they choose there for three days as you read a whole book seven hundred and eighty seven pages three hundred and is useful but you know what are the time she was through with that guy staying in hospital she knew that God had a plan to gut out we dated usually remember nothing about abuses lest you be feeling is your cell phone for the purpose of why were doing this here today is not just to share with your story must share more detailed is not just a sharing the story about someone with her we are doing this you will see that God is because of you are still vulnerable in your life you want to see another person here at the abuse is not God encourage you to give you a strategy to be a child of the family 's degrading to flow a lot the holy wonderful purpose and Satan is trying to destroy your life is now ten years ago then one day Samantha and I were invited to a birthday dinner for her stepfather is why is Bruce this is what her mother had stepfather a divorcee of the marriage she had still stayed in contact with her stepfather some people say why will you do that better understand this always will be I believe inside of Eagles are need to know on an vastly open to meeting you soon if that relationship is not a new will we went to dinner during this time our life on the grass he was was totally change Godhead taken us on a completely different track we get a time where we were kind of struggling back and forth in our relationship with each other we got married with him is really committed our life to him and we were working in our church whatever successful technology businesses everything is going is really well and we go through this dinner is that ensure visiting with our pastor having Bible studies and we go to the scanner and is leaving her stepfather goes to hug her but he doesn't just hug her he grabbed you begin our I don't even know what is happening on him I think about what has happened is healthy what if this happened was in the only place I knew where he goes with everything counseling before so they are not discrediting counseling is a place for its butt and help there for years before ten years ago abuse everything seems fine if she decides she's going to get counseling him they like this was a church that morning that time I was involved in the helping this house I was singing a song in a fairly singular and sing a song there are an target of Hayes and all of a sudden I feel myself is hopeful and emotion tears coming on eyes and I couldn't sing along I walked outside of some trees out there throughout there is little to clarify myself in the pastor 's office and I think you know I I don't know what's going on here by each wanted to know was her friendship with our pastor to become well even inappropriately recite Bible studies and design e-mailing my wife and he started funny little sees about how he thought that she was so perfect this can happen so easily even the most perfect relationship there is always some might even find a little hole to get into I don't care how perfect your relationship is you and your wife love each other there's always someone who can find a way to find fault with you what with her to divide away in his begun students what is a various as a notice something boy I never treat you that way and lets you all those years to be waiting on him leave before she domestically this him on how to know what the son of NASA's office and I said I do know that it is vitally needed I need help so I know where we were pretty close and I understand you know that this may not be the best way to do this because believing a kind of caught up and you may not be able to get all key business property stationary is important in counseling that your relationship is a professional that you don't get those boundaries don't get across it certainly if someone is not walking with Jesus is one of the is no word for it it begins the eleventh cloudy all the word until the society until you wife's influence we went home from church and he said I can need use afternoons these have been no health and I can say home I said I want to drop me off in a parking and all the stay there while you're at the counseling appointments and then you can come pick me up when it's dropping off a little ways before the park is fun for a mile half model remember exactly walking down the floors apart walk into this path and all of a sudden I hear this voice in my head it is not like an audible voice but it's so loud and so clear as I thought somebody was speaking in a voice review their deal with the devil I saw you sound like somebody about this hall was standing right next to me and I stopped in on the nobody's there I began to feel so alone no part you try to console yourself that something is okay what is not okay I have stuff to crisis out and the resulting good right so I'm trying to reset surprising and I'm re- remember word on those pages video God does things forcefully need not always will be sooner stressed to the max feeling like something is not going live I keep hearing the voice related deal with you all comfortable I is the length am I sure this season will never have I just felt like God was in a special way Steve Steve you know I am there for you what is not to be easy to show you that I care for you but it is really hard little while later the passage I fix in cement is never the doing some one of you to come back to the church is the Prime Minister of having one in the world is wrong with this he was supposed to help her we went to the church for that purpose she went and now he is that he wants me to help I given the church and she's kneeling in the second pew there somewhere crying until you are the only things got so started to talk about some severe think a way to make ten years ago I understood because she was commented as abusive relationship now we are ten years down the road were back in church something is going on is not right here how can this be how can this be not too long after this be the rates which is Islam I'm not a violent person of your feelings change someone who loves her and a friend of mine that was probably one of the most godly men I know that the youth organizing facts when I told him that this story will be talked about he said he only that in my life I would children and only felt like she needed to be away for a while see the thing about abuses Thursday someone will schedule a itself distorts our perception of God think about it charts because the safe rights you worship a holy God because that's what you can do with him and now the person who stands in this open who spoke to be the one whose closest to God because that's what we put them there we least believe they have a relationship with God right thing we believe that person is someone who will commune with God gave them to share with you very life the words of God and that person abuses that position to abuse somebody him as they so I understand what this means I'm not degraded passages I certainly share with you my relation anger or were here talking about the Holy Spirit being filled with the Holy Spirit yet there are issues in the church where God is the story because of those who are his leaders who were not following him not doing what is asked not living the life of their supposed failure thing over and be able to half down what about hearing that church is not the way the few days I started to really uneasy Saigon it took quite a while went through in found file united cash was interviewed by the active things while this is technically a paragraph of them anyway I found a file found websites and I went to their website figured out password of God on that website if there was in my faith Enoch Enoch enough after July one St. Louis Florida to listen to me like all of those know that you view them back home on the phone the note you doing the lies were young enough to enjoy the home exactly no not in the know knew that was him easily tell where one car this time family carbonated snippets of the car so I ran down to love enterprise rental to get a car and just in my mind and just I can't believe is going on here and is just as horrible nightmare is coming to an end and I realized what happened all the lies over the Sea all of this stuff is going has been going on as was real again was leaving town you know what it was you tell I was an elderly church express diagnosis finally was able to beautiful my father and when talk with him and was helpful some by Douglas is a godliness is using the documented but he was always there for me as a child I wasn't always there Lisa didn't feel he was to be able to share with others going to go away and is called Smith on the phone and I could hear this noise in the back exit window she was not very coherent she wasn't talking clearly what's going on in a little while to be a licensee because plastic bag over head as I told you saw a no one robot home talking through the whole way the pictures you still okay with that I hope that this elusive I find this out Lisa truth now he's at the is not a good guy scumbag let's be honest here and she'll be done with the work you on some of the views like I said no doesn't he know they also don't know how to protect themselves and would be there is a line and cross even though someone may not want an inappropriate relationship with a relationship and sexual somebody out there is a connection there this may even though that person is not a person you would choose me with the bond is there that is been put there unholy as it may be but it's still briefly tested for the first real hard time seeing machine between his lines in a how could somebody see you tell her that you love how they got home they should eventually be all that evil you maybe sooner fable is no printer hello that was easy to see that someone is an abuse I don't understand emotionally are not able to have those asses off specimen of use comes from a parental figure of father I can't count them I came home and found Samantha in this particular self him the only town you do not number of times I was obviously so frustrated because there was nothing I could do about this and we would argue about this and we would be all up all night talking about this and we would highly need talented and highly driving away and I wish you displaced people back home now you can argue that God is go back home and actually because the source of her somewhere because I hear today as fast as technology my wife still lives of its got a better somewhere is a key TNR turning points in our life was his history don't underestimate the power and I know that she's alive and present I know that she is able to serve God he is finally the truth came out past was fired but you need sound during this time Smith and I business me how she vehicles phases and she went to work for a performer a lawyer who live further away another town but for the past moving between what we were working and she was and even start to follow her to work well before the time finding the back of it I provided this very key point she was needed to have a surgery always put on when she was younger she enveloped in the juvenile sorry and reveals this which is very common for delays of interviews you have a hysterectomy so during that time I go to work she was home and I knew the pastor was making contact with you whether the Lego and she was trying to get rid of him but you know how is he was somebody who believes he said he loved very own father didn't invent all these issues if she was doing with itself I would drive to work and money and driving to work I look over the side of the dollars shopping on our way to work I see his car parked there and now that he's waiting for me the ladies watching so he can recall Smith in homicide area I walked anything down there to welcome over here and really you exactly where we were good friends when doing so I'm just here in the church member over Germany helping them with something familiar not your way to see what only the minimum policy by giving this you destroy your measuring a story like this for your family everything don't you care that all your uses the future most obviously I remember driving to work one day just wanted to know that my hand in my fifth and so hard that night and this can hurt the enemy was out of control as I don't like about him I would probably end up in jail and he would ultimately you will have to utilize some crazy woman husband is not a sister started working a sort of following through the counselee certifiably unless you would start falling to encounter another town one day she gets there and she's got on the phone which is obvious as I can see you you can see me to where I was looking around facing the review that his intentions machine it was intended to become so far out there it was for her I was a eulogy for her to see his attorney he has been away for a few weeks while he was gone church members started praying and praying that this method would see the truth is you that she would find out somehow the business was really what was going on and I remember similar arguments in conversations he presented himself party memories valuable he didn't even look really wholly good although all that kind of faith and he told her you know here's a guide is committing adultery and he told my wife I would never life is left on it somehow you know I can choose what's what you wanted to do I won't lie to you but you know this over here well that's the sometimes you can have honor among thieves is a word that doesn't work you can choose when you step into Satan 's path and you allow him to control your life you not to be able to say this I will give you for this I will keep under my are you going to never life he told her that when his family found out as I was so excited there is over this is a way to try after you leave the UNICEF is working with five or well before the church members refrain went to visit with one of our church members family they were other leaders in the church and we were talking about what was going on and praying for her and all of a sudden the lady said to me so you know I talk with pastor 's daughter is life sorry and she told me that when his daughter she got so upset she went out and she got drunk so hazy as a way home I just what happened what happens you realize you are is like the blinders is able to alternately in this relationship Jordan is because enough of that is expert marksmanship one metals and marksmanship the new high music got it he knew that I was the problem and how he could take care month I went around wondering what went well decided that you have five half an morning to go to work in you now he could be sent across the somewhere over the value was somewhere near your mind to start here with all these weird game twenty one and is famous for you him him him out of the area that we removing that he's today we put our house on the on the market for the sign out there he's calling hang on hang in a is a key component here and share this with you is will talk about healing as we go through this important part of this journey will hold share wonderful things with your dealing with abuse to you if you have the voices service for those who are looking for God to work in a special way I got the business component would forgive you that you a few thousand Bibles free clear you can't hate anyone so if you say that you love God a new age of brother you don't doesn't work that God was working with me on this lethality Steve you've got to forgive is an obvious advantage no not if you are one day he said he and we argued back and forth is a very offered her some sort and I think you need to pray for his soon as adhesive patient and pray for me why should I pray for him the fund has surrendered to God him Joe we destroy Joe is worthless friends and fellow job this is all your fault got a feeling this is the godfather shows up on the scene because Joe you know what your friends are wrong you are right though still friends the only women except you basically is you have sacrificed and go praise for his friend is years after the fact and realized something very funny God Joe pray for his friend Scott and captivity is this is a latter half of his life I was better than the first right doubly blessed what's happening in our lives today it was some of these the stand in a place like this we didn't value their position in values sacred trust the God place between them and those of Abraham here in value to the people under their care the men and women think God wanted to show them you must reach out a helping hand to two seven as the words and phrases in a quickly as you are not because I'm one of because he's giving us as we open a lot of doors some of you will probably identify with your purpose for sharing this with you is to share with you that what Satan meant for evil God is turned is give you hope not discourage this you realize that the matter how painful your life may fear of what happens to you God will turn this around his him will him open to know why because where you are the weakest I believe God will make you strong this I believe is true the very thing that Satan means of destroying the document turnaround and turn it into something wonderful for his glory there are many people Smith and I would never got Sherry is in because of the evil thing missing in never choose for this to happen again you now that it's happened now that is over now that I see where God has taken it I would never choose to undo them I know many of you are sure you came to seminar like this and I hypothesize this anathema here to share with you because I don't physically young ladies woman's perspective it is this very powerful she's fighting you she knows he or she knows to God I will think my time is almost gone and the review with you is all ended we started going to church at another church in faster there was very godly man we are both rebaptized one day the church had talked about those who need it feeling that they were to have an anointing service that I think will the others lined up certainly were not trying to discount what the service is about to talk about it more tomorrow and you know that we time I use that service there's something about this service that is that is amazing that God would put a prescription in his word for seaweed and even provide how to give it to you this is what it would be beset all the elders of the church in his anointing with oil and a prayer faithful saying and if you committed any sizzle be forgiven new starts Mrs. God prescription for a new life for you and when I thought of someone dying maybe if Hathaway talk about someone who was scarcely be present whether you use for a highly emotional issue menus -year-old sexual issues leave unsolved item as soon as you can break free biggest turnoff theaters is no way out for you I believe God will break that chain seem to have experienced in my own seedlings on my wife's know nothing for you this causes respectively this is the family schedule previously no invented to stifle this promises in his Word is reviewed as well as for anyone else the promises is you don't have believed you I see no I believe God will do it because his voice is maybe you're having issues with hot video so you may view you don't trust your feelings your God he didn't protect me when I needed you how can I trust you now Samantha tells of his whatever the abusive situation you have a Bible tells us God was in Christ Jesus reconciling you will whatever you want to wasn't just saying their same language this was a he experienced everything in the symbolism of it against you a recently overcommitted the experience with me you see he was in the absentee landlord waiting for you to get better so he can somehow accept you in his native he is there for you now he was there with you and never let go of he understands the pain is felt that enough in your father four you hurts you behalf my brothers and sisters will know some of her lords word promises is never leave the store I'm praying right now the villages have the faith to believe that you were there for them to safely reach out and take hold of your hand and say Lord I want you to think the believe that you will do a father I pray that the peace of God on them that they will send some no that you were there for them that you love them with everlasting father please is him a you will you thank you for Jesus I think you will so really can't possibly comprehend it we can only see the father I pray that this is unit is that this is dismissing him as she wisely supports and ministry on the seventh day Adventist sequence by young people I Bible makes price-sensitive Christians the downloadable purchase the resources visit the online GUI see when I go

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