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The Husband and Wife Team in Health Ministry

Tim Howe Lyn Howe

Conference

Recorded

  • October 31, 2014
    4:15 PM
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I'd like to start there on time and it's even better to start early so what's our heads our father we are certainly thankful that this we are here together and know that you are here as well as you promised we pray that as we spend this time to gather our thoughts will be turned to you and that you will teach us more about how to work together in Jesus name amen well for those of you who don't know us this is my wife Lynn and that she and I have been together now for almost thirty five years and this past year was the best one yet I think but the person was really good after so first I thought I would to share a few quotes with you from the faith I live by on the whole the mission of the home extends beyond its own members now those of you are physicians or those of you aren't may have read in ministry of healing the chapter the physician and educator it says the duty of the physician extends beyond his own patients to the community and now we read that the mission of the home extends beyond its own members so it's not just the people in your house that your mission is to the object of the Christian home on the Christian home lesson illustrating the true principles of life far more power are full then any sermon that can be preached is the influence of a true home upon human hearts and lives of amazing you really want to be a witness than you got to get the home right right I think of all the sermons again be preached and this is far more powerful is the influence of a Christian home but you know you think while I forgot to have this home I got to have it right and it's going to be this it's got to be that I love this this paragraph here it says a lamp however small if cap steadily burning may be the means of lighting other lamps are sphere of influence may seem narrow yet wonderful possibilities are hours through the faithful use of our own home you know sometimes you may be tempted to think well if I had a bigger house or if I have a smaller house or if I had this reply had that remember it's the small lamb kept steadily burning but then how about those of us who aren't married or who don't have that ideal setting this is from seven manuscript three eighty six we are never alone no one of us is ever a part from family if you're all alone you still have God the father you still have Jesus your elder brother you still have family we are never alone we can never put forth of least effort for the advancement of the work of God in our world but the act thrills through all the universe of heaven and make source code laborers with God united with the heavenly principalities and powers that wonderful are never alone we're always as God 's children and family we always have a home well I will turn it on our now okay I said to be very clear framing that the principal was not in any way from all other because you know maybe we may be in a very managed we may have to present something honor on some time alone we may be separated from family and that can be a whole host of times when we may be aligned that we are never alone note with our heavenly father would always love you had missed on me and I hope I get to the library given the help you and you you know when the example that is really meaningful to the earthquake and and you think of chlorine in it he she shared her I had it with her family and repairing fences in prison and universities today educated people prisoners in jail whatever was she was able to share her on personally and that she had a able to you are creating a sense of family and the people who were listening to her so that the people were able to say that no client side of I you feel so whatever your situation as a Christian you have home this year you have your home with your heavenly father with Jesus your brother and you have your heavenly home that you're looking forward to as well as your Christian family all of that is home so no one should feel excluded from the ability to share home and to share together there are several principles of working together both in the home and if your out of the home presenting that we'd like to share with you their simple principles but I think will be helpful to you as they happen to us of the first of them is a thinking about opening your home to other people I would encourage you to remember the phases of life when you are just married you may do things a little differently than when you've been married for a few years and you may do things a little bit differently when you have children then when your children are grown and gone I wouldn't encourage you when you're first Mary those first months that first year to open your home and invite lots of people over you know even in Scripture you can read in Deuteronomy out when a man was first married he was excused from all duties of war for the first year and he didn't have to leave there were certain things that God saw fit to to convey upon a family that was just married aunt and I think that at that stage your mission is each other and don't get too involved and then when children come be careful be careful what you may have hurts tragic stories about families that with all the best intentions that had little children and they had people come and stay with them and tragic things can happen when you have little children yes you may open your home but be very careful be thoughtful and pray for their protection and keep them in your site we do not live in a good world we live in an evil world and yes there are angels of their strong and can protect us never fail to ask for the protection of your children member remember there are phases of life there are things that led and I do today that we wouldn't have done when our son 's year one ultimately Sperry was little I am not sure we would have trusted our our guests with Barry around you might you know he and his brothers were kind of exciting is and you know hard to keep in line sometimes and there's phases to life keep that in mind for next year that when at length her I think I like quiet fall we didn't do a lot of things in the evening is not like I got the fire and yelling into the snowshoeing are good and the hall but it was home base I say nothing the equation of how we fit into the equation I think I is the right that is quite different for everyone over as the lightning was for those years we didn't do what the lifestyle education of the house and calling the length of Lakeland College and we kind of went into hiding here in Boston health education on this lease moreover this is for very sure on another thing that I would say is when you invite people over or when people come over uninvited don't change your life for your pattern for them and will give you an illustration of that we have a very dear friend his name is Lee had all I see is decided me way far off in a and is out there it is safely say that is very effective everything that time into belly dancing in the exotic dancing man lots of other exciting things very artistic creative off-the-wall kind of person was impressive that he see nothing I have a Wednesday sealant over and I have Friday night was sent and received said yesterday I was demolished and never expansive I wish that she didn't know what worship was little but anyway being what they are really happening was that not anything remotely interesting I still can't help until they connect the monitor Friday night we set until I mean ultimately harmful example because a thousand years I never would've thought if I is and yet there was a hungry I went that day and it was very meaningful to them so I get when the need with it we never know who might be very open them I think I need to never his head aside and I coming near me everyone is at the highest hunger for God is there in your home and in just the yourself but she's come back she brought her daughter one time she called us up it was almost sunset and she said can I come over my daughter so my really want to have sundown worship with you and she use of those words Sunday on worship and in another time she called up and she said my husband and I had a really bad week can we come over for sundown worship we really need that piece that you have no people no that there's something different especially at sundown four now since you know sometimes were really pushing you know the one I was here in in California in medical school he used to joke that sundown worship happens in the checkout line and alpha-beta or whatever the stories they are now I don't know but if you tend to push the edges too much see at least if not for yourself guard the edges for those people who may come because it's a really special time and one of the things I like to share and we did share this with Lee is the meaning of Sabbath to me and the way I explain it is if you go to that text in Scripture in Genesis where it says and God finished his creation and God rested on the seventh day the word rested their is the Hebrew worship are in one of the meanings in fact the ancient meaning of that word ship on is to sit down and and so I tell them I say now picture this whether you believe in the creation account are not picture this with me God 's just made Adam and Eve his kids is all done and then he sits down what do you have when you sit down work kids that you don't nap when you're standing alas that's right and so at sundown we picture God sitting down in an inviting us up onto his lap because were his kids and people that are restless really resonate with and you know you just have a song read attacks and then light a candle and sit there quiet it doesn't happen most places people are they don't know what so they come back so encouraging that's one thing don't change her schedule just open your arms and have them participate in worship whether it's Friday night worship or in the mornings if their guests there are no I told the story of how a several last night and that Al Jolson and his wife came wife now was girlfriend came up your home and have stayed with us several times so we have worship when they bear so we say come on up and we go to church on Sabbath and if you if you want to go with us great we'd love to have your John you're welcome to stay here and home while they always go with us it's wonderful I you know I said this is what we do you're welcome to come encourage people to participate in the rituals that you all of us have families that's very important so here's another one that I think is really important we've learned the hard way I should say I've learned the hard way and that is when you're in public also in private it's it's a good idea but particularly when you're in public build each other up now tell you a story about when I didn't do this my wife lectures a lot on vitamin D we have a lifestyle choices corset we've been doing for about twenty years now and when the children were little she did help us much now she does quite a bit with the class and I came in on about halfway through her vitamin D lecture usually I'm late as I'm working in clinic and I just answer questions at the end and that it always worked really well but I got there a little early one day and she said something that I disagreed with I didn't think it was supported by the medical letter because I had read otherwise some years before and so I went I started writing to correct or my wife looks sweet and she is but she's also very she's got a nice strong backbone and she snapped right back to me in a kind sweet way instead I don't think you broke the latest literature which I have yet I wasn't really pretty as we have this sent to front with these people but if I learned an important lesson if you're going to differ don't do it upfront it don't work too well especially good work well for me I hate using the iPhone and home and I didn't push it she didn't push it hard she's really sweet but like I caught it I caught it later on it later it and she was still sweet that's for sure we have a few other stories on that same point and I wanted just preface it by saying this it's always good to share stories of you know the little struggles in the family provided the person telling the story is always the button show don't tell a story on your spouse makes them look bad so whenever I we often call I got hired by a car in an exciting thing that happened on and when I said I have years ago I think mingling with them difficult I then saving them in a new book the decidedly painful interactions and I just I couldn't figure now and every time I thought about it I feel worse and I kind of rehearsing over and over in my head and know how you are trying to make it right and I just can't seem to fix it and in what has been going on for a few years I was I am going over in my head so that using happened endlessly painful side talking with him early one morning is really disheartening I glazed over and I feel really badly enough and and him stop and circling the drain is any visit to care for that actually you know it was like it was the most loving thing at the present because he went circling the drain I was not painful second I couldn't do anything about the only option I had again to let go of the light moving around in my head and talking about it I was faulty I was just cycling again and so somehow because of that to me it was like a real loneliness affect the light came on in my head as I said is initially I felt bad in all of his life to seven ago so now let's replay the what if I told that story instead of Lynn how without going over you got us stopped circling the drain you got to see that doesn't work so well when you tell a story on your spouse like that it makes them look draws their shortcomings here's one that I tell and if she told it wouldn't work we deal with people that have problems with that emotional eating I know none of you have that problem so you know you if you just think about patients that have them the problem occasionally I'll come home from work and I'll find myself in front of the refrigerator with the door open gazing into the refrigerator as if my problems will be solved by something in there and I know none of you done and you know what Lynn says he says that you have a hard day it shouldn't say shut the door she doesn't say okay now let's take that story what if Lynn told that to those people and says sometimes my husband comes home and the Pentagon over as well so be careful how you tell the stories you always want to build your spouse you know that that's not only true when you're together although it's really important than it's also true when you're part of my wife's father said something to us when we were first married I had a ring that my grandmother or and I gave it to land when we were married not during the ceremony but subsequently and she was working out in public but for some reason that little tiny platinum ring really heard her finger and so she decided not to wear plus we had some questions about whether we should or not and her father said you don't need a ring just walking to work Lynn and you can look out the window and say you know my husband said it was going to rain today and then everyone will know you have a husband or you can say look what a beautiful day my husband was right he said it was going to be a beautiful day and you know if you bring if your spouse is absent from you you bring them up in a positive way and you just look all better I have made this a habit at the hospital where I work and you know the nurses know that I speak well of my wife not because it's hard to now it never was hard to but if you make it a habit to speak well of your spouse and to speak of them often now than nurses than me just what happened when I talk about my wife they say all I hope my husband saying that about me when you support or I wish I had a husband that would talk like me I want to find one like that and I say keep looking at but it was you you just shine so much more when you live your spouse in public just so very very core another eBay and you know we don't always let together we knew that her son together and act in wonderful collection together because you can be talking alive I think the concept and you will realize that they needed something I didn't play well enough so he can expand on it and I and you can do hold each other up and doing a cooking and I'm trying to resolve anything recipe and tendency is that I need a little bit of help so he's right there to help me really wonderful after doing it together I've gone to really appreciate it and now I am documenting all of this is a little help me repeatedly in several areas one if I'm getting too far into chemistry and starting to lose my audience show you no signal forty six go through me know and I know you know make it practical to bring out the practical coins in this really helpful because I tend to go off into biochemistry too much of another thing that's very helpful I is when you're working together like now pay attention to what your spouse is saying is simply because if you watch them while they talk the audience watches it's very important if year-over-year you know doing this while they are talked in fiddling with your pockets and things like that it's very obvious but if you're looking at Nassau 's so necessary for so one more thing here pray for your spouse when you talk praying before and here is an illustration of one time that hell we give a talk on Friday night in your life goes for ten days four times a year only fully busy and I plan on Friday night they always give way about the father and forgiveness and important as choosing cheerfulness supposed to bitterness and I like that were resting from the resting resting from bitterness resting from carrying burdens you should care resting from worrying so we try this out with you and all the rest because it is a program for you and your families and it being twenty twenty eight so you can amass in we have some people that repeat and coming in him program is so beautiful here in Arkansas the time we create these lecture no and maybe when you concept both high-end and citizen able so that people are there for the second or third place I know this isn't nearly as so when Friday afternoon to be humiliated to me and in my mind I thought we had to do something fairly similar to what we usually do so I had in my mind of what we do the same thing that came into office and he had a lot of a new very creative way to do it he had on his all excited over and use there anything at all to me just for the life of me I could not conceptualize how I can be part of that presentation because I couldn't get myself into his as I said I just find yourself because I couldn't I couldn't put myself into it and then you know I know you legally obligated to an leave a note for Keeley felt really comfortable working again if this is my Friday night and I was a painful night and look as you know I honestly feel and you are usually when you go in peace to you from my class and I was at and use even though I know it has something shares in here the fourth of felt like I fit in the glass with nothing which is was was a decidedly painful thing I think because we were on the same page seriously we paid about their new here delay the meeting is were there they were expecting us so we both pay and annoy me know this is a really painful time to clean house and so we went and I don't even remember what we said unwilling to me and I can only have a principle that we teach silly you know immediately where there is the end of the night I think God has really blessed and that's the wonderful thing is even when we hired even when you're not feeling like sometimes we may not be that we haven't you put together just like with God all you how you can make the presentation is less the net quite convinced that I really appreciate it if you think you know don't think of yourself as a metaphor in the holding benefits no silliness like we have to consider to be something that we want to get something out I think I love others reject others we can just taking that concept is very liberating Europe making no that night actually was one of the most moving nights that we can there were quite a number of people in tears at the end of the program that night realizing they are evening and God can work that I remember Mark this morning after Phils talk mentioned that when he first heard that talk he felt so small even feel like a physician with a little PERB then felt like any of the in and I didn't have the opportunity to say he finally got to the place where God could use because when we get to the end of our resort since that's when God finally useless it's not about us it's about him and when you think you've got it all together sometimes the Lord let your stumble and fall but if you'll sincerely asking for help when everything 's falling apart oh how we can use event and then you say oh yeah what about me was about you all and I think that's one of the beauties of presenting things together is harder and it's better because you have to depend on a higher power that can help you communicate on a different level so were the me read one other quote here that and then will transition to the next segment this is from desire of ages page three forty paragraph one it's at the end of the chapter about the demoniac 's and she says we can bear witness to what we have known of the grace of Christ this is the witness for which our Lord calls and for want of which the world is perishing so what is the witness of the world is perishing because it doesn't have the witness of how what Jesus is done for you right now is work in your life I think that one of the most potent things that you can do to motivate people is to share stories from your own life or stories of other patients they remember stories forget the chemistry my wife is right even you forgotten a lot of biochemistry is my guess right but you don't forget stories and so sharing stories is so important from your own life and from happenings in your practice one of the reason for caring story and when you walk into a of elite university time to healing with physically a whole lot of changes evil that you've never encountered before and your heart will close with the guild communicate with you nearly share with them that you know can you let in between you and then I think our practice and a gap will close the negative sometimes hard Illinois and when I noted any time you visit if you take the time to share me on my brand-new things people all of a sudden instead of a roomful of strangers all the things that I had a line extended I liked it enough to train and know that the people we work with our very secular I mean we live in is quite effective in place so they not know they're not strongly that the Bible Belt is not a favor you can easily talk about the actual thing that we need have shared my own family is personally offensive all of a sudden when I look out and I'm looking at people 's faces I feel like I and I know that they are with me and then when you talk about that him there really is a flying accident on so one of the stories are one of the things that happen to people that really embrace what we teach is the lifestyle choices course and the people that come to that are people that have problems like diabetes hypertension coronary artery disease usually quite severe of a typical cases of lady had been to Maine medical Center the referral hospital in Maine is the biggest one and she had small vessel coronary artery disease and the doctors told her there's nothing we can do for you because everything 's too little the bypass we can have Brian Schwartz fly in from my Ohioan do revascularization and so they said just go home you won't be able to do much will maximize your medicine but her blood pressure was low so in order for her to get from the car into the lecture room she had put a nitro under John and then she could get into the lecture room without chest pain and so this is the kind of person that comes by the way at the end of two weeks she was walking a mile without any medicine and felt much better but with that working with people like that the diet that you have to use his phone call therapeutic diet is much stricter than if you're healthy and in running around so I I use an illustration a first of all about cleaning your covered because the year the slanging your eating usual American diet you've got to go do is go home and impede the freezer and emptied the cupboards and get rid of everything so I tell the story about when I was in medical school and I brought home in annals of internal medicine that was a year that they have a whole lot of information on milk and resistant bacteria and and trans maybe humans and I follow my wife like this so I brought it home and I started reading it to her I was in the kitchen and she was fixing supper and you know that I noticed she was going to our refrigerator and getting out the yogurt in the milk and she was pouring down very nicely what you do any week we just paid for that and she said what he needs his readme this article and I use that as duration of guy can be done you can do I went through it and you may have to give our lands are one of very interesting person and that she hears something she's convinced and it's over me were doing and that happened to us again I I started reading this stuff by hassles than others about oil and nitric oxide production and she said okay and through the oil well and if you come and visit us today we have oil at home for the car and you know for but there's not in the covered and you know I was really sad because I very can remember I made waffles every Sunday morning for years and I used olive oil in new Elizabeth Stallone and you know I used a lot in there is you want things to stick to help and for months I just sat around Balaam on Sunday morning I thought I can have waffles I've gone down Schwinn 's you know what am I going to do it in and then you know we started here many and now I've got a waffle recipe two or three of them that are oil free and I like them even better and people can relate to those stories you tell it helps them reach those those top points in their life and it helps it helps motivate them to change it the they struggle to and then we get other participants in one of the things we do with our class if you ever start one I'd recommend is anyone that's gone through the program wants in return for each to any of the lectures and every time there repeaters and I'll call about all say how was it with you when you do this and it's wonderful with testimonies they share stories are very empowering particularly your own stories there is one other area that stories are helpful and I think very motivational and that is in the spiritual arenas Lynn is already on to if you're working with someone who isn't a Christian who isn't spiritual if you bring out survival you'll lose him but it's all in your own experience they stay with you and so lends them tell you a story all I really all I will and I you I went home school area in southern and Diana John Barry was already at college the time on the floor doing Tennessee with a back video school that you may be familiar with the human e-mail letting his domestic class is a better future in the future and that he was sitting there I was in the consisting something and I got some decidedly glass window which he did regular and he was looking out the window and he is in his life interesting fellow Manhattan living room what are we going to know and identify how the Eagle had come down I just caught in so that the Eagle Hank Hockaday and then he was trying to lifted up out of the water he was bright and healthy if you are using your pumping it means that they get you high above the water and then the division of July the whole impact on the water on that terrible and so then he and he must either he looked out the water and then back down in the water again and John and I looked at again and you let that he will not make as though you know you do adequately how did you please ran out on exactly what that is she will let me know about the only thing you go no mechanically or painfully abductor struggle eighty hi eight whatever the case the Eagle climbed out and never met a rock and out there not too far how was sitting there looking like home I could do I'm really tired but it was such a horrible visualization for me when I thought I know it is so easy to hang onto something using the guy even when absolutely pulling and when with the only time when we teach classes about and what we usually do is put a white way will save you how to do anything in your life someone all I'm saying is that because they're not able to go on people you know and I will usually try and share you share something that I have worked with people and I have people that are here leaving held on considering that bitterness literally open until we can happen is not something you want to that conflict is to learn to let things go until we need a very simple story and without bitches sharing a story like that open doors for people to start thinking about that they might be hanging onto his life that they need to let go we seldom the Eagle couldn't get help from us but you can get help from God to help you let go of those and it's a wonderful thing to see the light go on people 's eyes when you tell that simple story and AC now the Eagle couldn't listen but maybe God can help me so I think are times that we have more things that we can cover any questions while the fish got away in the Eagle climbed out and dried his feathers and eventually flew off a and you and you can recover to from hanging onto bitterness God will help all right well let's close with prayer our father we are so thankful that you will work together with us and that even if were single we have you as a heavenly father were part of a family we pray for those here who are married then you will help them work together to bring others to a knowledge of the wonderful family who are less so this media was using my audio verse four amen at the Pentagon and was known as you'd like to learn more about Nina please visit www. nine and I thought you would like more free online service please visit www. online universe

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