Michigan Camp Meeting 2016: The Harvest is Great

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Michigan Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

Transforming Family Discipleship

Sung Hyun Um

Transforming Family Discipleship- Part 1

Welcome to the family discipleship program today.

And we would like to begin with a word of prayer.

Kind and gracious heavenly father, we thank you and praise you for allowing us to be here today.

Thank you for the desire that I'm sure we all have to serve you better and represent you rightly in our families.

I pray that all that is shared would be just seeds planted to help us to go back and implement them and help our families to grow and mature to be more like you.

Good afternoon everyone And it's my pleasure to be here to present this seminar with you.

And this is actually a dream come true for me because I came all the way from California last August.

I've been there for more than 25 years and I've been a family advocate, family minister for the past 30 years.

My background of course is in the field of theology to begin with.

Got my MD, and then I had my PhD in marriage and family studies at Fuller Theological Seminary.

And ever since then, having studied psychology for 10 years, really came to realize the value of the Bible much more than ever before.

And Bible does have all the answers that we need.

I didn't have the perspective to look for it from the Bible in a way that's relevant and meaningful for us.

So I appreciate psychology in that It gave me 2 things.

It gave me the perspective that I need to have and knowing what to look for.

And then secondly, psychology gave me the language to interpret and explain the Bible in such a way that people can get it.

And I termed our seminar called Family Discipleship Training Program 101, which means that we have much more to come later on.

And we can only do so much for the next 5 sessions together with you.

But knowing that all of you are extremely interested in the field of family discipleship, and meaning that we want our family to be a context for discipleship, right?

And we want to make sure that we use relational arena as a place where we truly experience the power of the gospel.

So I can honestly tell you that for the past 20 some years of my life, I found, I found biblical truth and biblical knowledge, and together with the grace of God, has been the greatest source when it comes to giving me tools for evangelism.

And so then with that, I've been able to go to Malaysia.

I'm going to Malaysia this next month to train people for family discipleship because there's a lot of Muslims out there.

But you know when I talk about relationship, no 1 gets offended.

And last time when I had a meeting over there, they were saying that we're going to have about maybe, if we have 50 people, it's going to be great.

And then more than 80% of them were non-Christian, unchurched people, you know, anti-Christianity people.

They were needing healing from some sort in their lives, and then they came and they found great truth from the Word of God.

So I find this family discipleship is a great way to really to be used as a tool for evangelism in a very powerful way.

So if you look at the program that we have together, Today is going to be the most important time of our 5 days together because I'm laying down the foundation.

Foundation for what our ministry is all about, what family discipleship is all about.

I'm going to lay down the foundation using 1 scripture, 2 scriptures actually, Genesis chapter 1 verse 26 and 27.

So we need to build this foundation pretty solid, right?

And so we may involve more discussion, I mean the talking and sharing today than other days.

And then Tuesday, based upon Monday's discussion, we're gonna talk about understanding gender differences from the word of God.

And then I'm gonna tie that with Ephesians chapter 5, verse 33, and how we are created differently and how we're supposed to get along and how we're supposed to understand each other.

Not only that, how we're supposed to make a team with each other, you know what I mean?

Instead of making an enemy or being, falling apart from 1 another or becoming apathetic toward 1 another.

But how can we be passionate about, not only about God, but about each other?

My wife and I, we've been married for the past 32 years.

And I can honestly tell you that we are much more in love now than ever before.

And because ever getting better principle that you find in Jesus Christ.

That's something I'm going to share tomorrow from my own personal experience.

And Wednesday is going to be very fascinating.

We're going to do a color code personality test.

It's going to only take 15 minutes for you to take that test.

If it takes more than 15 minutes, I already know your personality.

And then that personality test is something that you can use with your children, with your husband, with other people you work with, your co-workers.

I mean, it gives you a great tool for understanding people, understanding yourself to begin with.

I mean, particularly multifaceted personality that we have.

I mean, there's a motivational level, there's strength and demerit, and there's also a communication style is different by different personalities.

And no wonder, you know, communication gets really difficult because you have like gender difference and then culture difference, right, for some couple.

You have personality difference that gets added into the complexity of personality, the communication.

And Thursday, we're going to talk about process of healthy marriage.

The reason why I talk about it is that, and I'm sure you figured that out by now, but 90, more than 95% of marriage problems stemming from where?

You see, when I first got married, when I first got married, I thought, you know what?

Before I got married, I had no problem, right?

So, so then I said, after I got married, you know, I began to all kinds of problems so that the problem must have come from what?

That's when you argue with each other as to who's right, who's wrong and all that.

But I came to realize that more than 90% of marriage problems stemming from your own unresolved issues of the past.

That's why there is a need for awareness, so much need for awareness.

And that's why we're going to go back and talk about childhood patterns that may still linger in our lives.

But don't worry about it because Jesus knows it.

And then if we have more time, I have bonus classes too.

M, can we spend more time studying together?

Then I have like 1 more class that I set aside if there is any encore for the class.

Transforming Family Discipleship- Part 2

Our Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this time together, and we ask that you'll touch each heart here, that our minds will be open to learn new ways of sharing Christ, and that we can not only be helped here, but we can learn to be mentors in helping others.

And we thank you for hearing us in Jesus name.

Since we have so much to cover today, I'm going to just spend a very short moment with you to just go over Genesis 1, verse 26 and 27.

If you have your syllabus, you can turn to possibly the third page where I have a diagram.

Basically, when you look at the image of God, there are 2 sides in the image of God.

Verse 26, and those of you who have gone through the class yesterday, you can just kind of resonate with me.

And together, complementarily, they truly depict the wholeness about the image of God.

And then if you look at verse 26, verse 26 basically tell us that God's image has to do with plurality.

Because let us make men in our likeness, in our images.

And so then plurality of God really tells us that God's image has to do with bringing people together.

It has to do with connectedness, I call it.

It has to do with being so-called collectivistic.

And that allows you to be kind of sticky with each other.

In a way that you become really glued and bonded.

And so verse 26 is really about, I call it, bringing we identity, we identity, in that you come to learn to bond and God has created us in his image in that you and I are created to what?

So to be connected is what makes us to be human.

And that's why when we are not connected to 1 another, what happens to us?

We feel empty and then you know you feel like there's missing something missing in your life and we get disoriented.

We start complaining and all those things happen in our lives.

You know we become less than being a whole person, you know?

So wellness, human wellness, is something that you and I can experience when we become bonded, when we know how to connect.

So I want you to know that, you know what, I am spending my entire life, span, learning and knowing and experiencing and teaching people how to what?

Do you know how many people do not know how to connect?

Sometimes we think we know, but that's not the way to connect.

And then what makes it really powerful about God is that God shows us the model as to what it means to connect.

So human illness, I would say, even addictions, Human illness and even addiction can be cured when people are genuinely connected to 1 another.

It provides healing in the lives of people.

And it is when you and I get connected, we become human beings the way God has designed us to be.

So, I want you and I to be extremely interested in what it means to be connected.

So for me to be connected with my wife is so important.

You know, into a couple of years, 5 years into our marriage, my wife came up to me and said, honey, my wife is a wonderful lady, came up to me and said, honey, when was the last time you and I had a heart to heart dialogue?

Because my point of view was like, honey, we live together, we married, we married, and we live together, we have 3 kids together, we eat together, we sleep together.

But little did I know what her heart was yearning after.

You know how long it took for me to learn what it means to bond, what it means to connect in a way that she would truly feel being connected?

I was in total ignorance and darkness as to what it means to connect.

And so I want to share some of that today.

We don't have time to talk about this whole area of bonding.

But I'm going to give you a book that is 1 of the most powerful books I ever read outside of the Bible.

Henry Clouds wrote a book called Changes That Heal.

It's 1 of the most powerful book I ever read in the issue of bonding.

And then, verse 27, it says, and then what's interesting is that, you know what, I want you to be bonded, but then I want you to be bonded in such a way that it would leave room while we pursue after togetherness, you need to make sure that you have enough room for self-identity.

We identity needs to leave room for self identity, vice versa.

If you're so together and there's no room for yourself to be who you are, then it's not healthy.

It's suffocating, it's intoxicating, It's codependent and all that.

It's not representing the picture of God, image of God in a rightful way.

And so Jesus, you know, in verse 26, he said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.

Why in the world God created Adam and Eve?

Instead of Adam and Adam or Adam and Adam Jr.

But he created Adam and Eve, 2 different species, 2 different human beings and with 2 different genders.

And we will learn today that even the way our brain is wired is different between men and women.

And that's why We use the same language, we think we're using the same language, but we're not what?

So much so that John Gray wrote a book called Man Are From, Mars Woman Are From, Venus.

Transforming Family Discipleship- Part 3

Father in heaven, thank you so much for this opportunity again today to be able to meet and We just pray for your spirit to be here.

We know that You have things that you want to share with us through dr.

Om and I just pray that you will speak through him, give him your words, and help us to have ears to listen, and we can just be drawn closer to you through this.

We love you and we thank you in Jesus' name, amen.

Before I go on, let me just provide the biblical perspective on personality, and that would help you as we go about exploring this fascinating reality of personality.

What we have in front of us is something called personality.

Biblically speaking, personality is something that is God-given, and something that you are born with.

1 of the ways we can prove that, that even though 10 children came from the same mother's womb, they all have a what?

So you can't say that, well, it all depends on education and so forth, but something that was given to the child, the way that the person and child is wired is different by different kids, right?

And So that's why we believe that it's given by God So so I want to start with that if it is given by God If it is given by God, you know, it's a good thing Right, right.

And even though we can make it ugly and whatnot, there's something within you, innately, that are woven by God.

And I want us to really get in touch with that.

And then it is our job not to create personality.

We're not here to create something, right?

And then we're here to cherish it and we're here to nurture it.

We are here to allow your personality to shine and bloom and blossom.

And so personality that's given, I call it nature.

Definitely nurture can be the word of God, Holy Spirit, the way we brought up, education, environment, friendship, and all that, that stimulates us in such a way that it nurtures us.

It nurtures us and then you end up, okay, nature plus nurtures equals with what?

So character is something that you develop on your personality.

Personality is a soil in which, through fertilizing, through nurturing, all that, and then we end up, God ends up developing and creating and maturing something called character.

So That's sort of like the way we need to look at it as we look at personality today.

That's why I'm telling you to go back to your child as much as you can.

And so today's goal is for us to discover our personality and for us to really cherish it and nurture it and allow it to be a point of celebration in our life.

Because some of your personality as you live on, unfortunately, sadly enough, some of our personality may have been suppressed or been hidden, or maybe there's a shame attached to it when there's no need to.

And so I would like us to really go back and then get into the root of it and the way that God has designed us to be.

And it's going to be a very exciting, exciting journey together.

Is there a problem that some personality types are perceived as more desirable than others?

These 4 personality types are the ones that can be actually, It's a good question.

But since the question has given as a reason, let me deal with it in this way.

You may be blue, but it depends on what kind of blue you are.

But it has nothing to do with your blueness.

The way that God has made you to be has potential to be healthy and to be blossoming.

But then the way we utilize it and use it, the way we've been conditioned by it, or way we choose our lives to be, we can end up downgrading to a point that we can make it unhealthy, sickly, and destructive, and so forth.

And the healing comes in an area Where we made it unhealthy, we made it sickly, Christ comes, His grace comes, the Word of God comes, the Holy Spirit comes in such a way that God can transform it.

But God is not going to change your personality.

God is going to use it in such a way that it becomes a point of just really flourishing for God.

It's like how, I think this just sort of clicked with me.

It's like how he regenerates our character.

I want you to know today, I'm very excited about what I'm about to share today, because it can be a point of life transformation for you, because all of us have potential to be so amazing.

We have a potential to be so powerful in our lives.

But then the way we brought up, we've been conditioned in such a way, 1 way or the other, you're not amounting enough, you're not good enough, and all that stuff going on.

And today, I want us to set all of that aside.

And then just get in touch with the way that God has designed you to be.

And I like this personality test, particularly because let's look at the second page.

If you look at the second page, I really love this personality, number 1, because it's simple.

Some other, Bricksmeyer, all the other personality tests, you have to take all day, couple of hours to take it.

But I found this 1 about 10 some years ago.

And I found this to be very easy to take.

It is complicated enough to deal with the multifaceted nature of personality.

I want you to look at the left column where this personality test will help you to understand your motivational level in that different personality gets motivated differently.

Transforming Family Discipleship- Part 4

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so thankful that you are here with us, that you can gather us together to receive counsel from you and to examine our lives and learn how we can better relate to others.

I ask that you would be with the presenter and that you would inspire his words and give us receptive minds to learn from you.

Unfortunately, I made 25 copies, so couples need to share it together.

What I did today, what I decided to do today, because so many of you were so interested in how these personality codes would work out in terms of blending with 1 another.

And some of you are blended with white and blue and blue and white.

And some of you are blended between red and red.

And some of them are blended between red and red.

And some of them are blended between red and blue.

Some of them are blue and white, and yellow, blue, and so on.

So there's so many blending that we deal with.

And so I would like to take a moment today to share about how different personalities, when they come together, what are some of the possible dynamics that may get created, okay?

And so I basically, you know, I basically wrote everything word for word, verbatim, in a way that I would present the topic.

You would be able to learn and you would be able to share it with other people in your church.

How many of you came from your own church as a family ministry, somehow you're related to family ministry from your church?

I'm excited about that, I'm excited about that, okay.

So I want you to get all that you can get from this class, and then make sure you have a chance to share it with other people.

Let's talk about the blending between the colors, OK?

So red, between red and red, what's so interesting is that 1 who is more red, when red and red come together, 1 who is more red remain as red.

Because in relationship, somebody has to follow.

You know, 1 person lead and then the other person follow.

So 1 is more red, remain as red and less red, become white.

And that was the case with my nephew, which we didn't know.

We thought that my nephew was totally white, because he was not talking.

And then if you ask him a question, hey, what do you want to do with your life, like typical teenager would say, how would they respond?

Series

Transforming Family Discipleship

Transforming Family Discipleship- Part 4

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Why Jesus Can’t be Your Boyfriend

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Relationships and Family Life

My ‘Single’ Desire

1h 24m

Love and Marriage

1h 4m

Love, Lies, and Lasting Happiness

1h 9m

Relationship Revival

2. Loving Out Loud

1h 11m

Restoring the Home

03 Biblical Principles for Marriage

1h 4m

For Our Love

1h 3m

The Sacred Circle

The Sacred Circle: Godly Love in the Home

51m

Breakout Session B

When You Mess Up, How do you Fix Up

1h 2m

To Have and to Hold on

Do You Speak My Language - Part 3

1h 16m

The Renewing of Our Minds

2. Roots of Distorted Thinking

1h 16m

To Have and to Hold on

Becoming One - Part 1

1h 2m

Sound Doctrine