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Amazing Facts

Happy Home

Joe Crews

Happy Home, Part 1

In India, the parents choose husbands and wives for their children.

Strange as it may seem, the divorce rate is much lower than in the United States.

I'll be back in a moment to talk about the amazing secrets of a happy home.

Hello, this is Joe Cruz and the amazing facts broadcast, facts which affect you.

Now today we're going to talk about the secret of a happy home and I want to begin with a subject where the Bible begins with it, right back in the beginning of things in the book of Genesis.

I don't want you to take my word for these things at all.

I want you to read them for yourself from the pages of your own Bible and in the quietness of your own home.

Notice now Genesis 2.18, And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone.

I will make and help meet for him.' And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them.

And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam there was not found and help meet for him.

All right, let's try to get the picture now back in creation in the very beginning of time.

God made a beautiful garden for everything to live in, and it was perfect.

The garden was beautiful and absolutely perfect.

The animals had already been created, of course, and God had them passed before Adam, And as he looked at them, I suppose he saw the different characteristics, and he gave each 1 a name.

He thought of something as he saw those animals pass by in review.

He looked around, and there was none to stand opposite of him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept.

And he took 1 of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof.

Now friends, this place that our operation took place, which is really the first recorded operation in history, was in the Garden of Eden.

And this piece was taken out of Adam's side.

Now I think there's something very significant in this.

When God made woman, He did not make her out of the foot of man.

She was not a creature to be trampled under his feet.

He did not make her out of a bone from his head to stand over him and rule him, but out of his side, a rib.

Woman is to stand at the side of man as his companion.

And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he the woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be 1 flesh.

Now friends, this is a wonderful love story, isn't it?

The very beginning of love in this world of ours, this was the beginning, the awakening of true love.

God made this world of ours and He made everything perfect.

There was a beautiful garden in which He made man live, and still creation was not complete.

As the crowning act of creation, God formed a woman and brought her to the man.

A Christian with deep spiritual insight expresses it this way.

Love is a precious gift which we receive from Jesus.

Pure and holy affection is not a feeling but a principle.

Those who are actuated by pure love are neither unreasonable nor blind.

Taught by the Holy Spirit, they love God supremely and their neighbors themselves.

We see that love is a precious gift that we receive from Jesus.

But too often, however, marriage brings disillusionment.

Lovers thought they would find a harbor in the storm of life, but instead they find a storm in the harbor.

So much disillusionment, discontent, unhappiness, heartaches, untold.

Some young women marry into homes where the shadows are never lifted, where there's really never any true happiness.

Holy wedlock too often becomes unholy deadlock.

We actually find that within many, many homes are 2 hostile camps.

Husband and wife are lined up against each other, sometimes not even understanding why they feel the way they do toward each other.

They go on a barren treadmill of existence and finally come to the point where 1 of them says, I can't take it any longer.

And then, of course, they go running to the divorce courts.

They feel, as somebody said, marriage is like a belt.

If you're not satisfied with it, you can unhook, you can unbuckle and take somebody else.

Well, of course, divorce is not the solution, friends.

I think that divorce we see in the world today is simply a sad commentary on the times in which we live.

Listen, Jesus Christ is a great center around which all marital plans should cluster, And the moment a person breaks away from that, he faces the beginning of the end so far as happiness is concerned.

So many young people go into marriage with hardly a thought about what part Christ will play in the home.

A young girl in the church tosses caution to the winds and gives her heart to a young man who does not love God.

He's not a member of the Church, and therefore after marriage there's that division, because she loves God and he doesn't love God.

And then there's friction because there can't be true happiness in that kind of a relationship.

The warning comes to us from God in 2 Corinthians 6, 14, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

Oh no, Christ must be the very center of all plans for marriage.

I believe much of marriage failure is actually courtship failure.

Hasty marriages, ill-advised, readily entered into with little thought of the consequences and very little preparation.

Young people who really don't know each other decide to bring their lives together and live together, and yet they're totally unprepared for it.

They fail to realize that a person actually doesn't fall in love.

You've heard it said that it was love at first sight, but actually it was not.

You say, just a minute, I know it's so because that's the way it was in our case.

Well, I don't like to disagree with you, but let's consider it for a moment, friends.

First of all, there's attention, then there's attraction, and then there's affection, and that grows into admiration and respect which develops into love.

Sometimes a person mistakes the emotion of affection for true love and feels that it was love at first sight, but love is something that grows.

It's something that develops, and we need to make it grow.

It takes time to understand love and to test and tell whether 2 people are really in love.

We say, what's the solution to this thing?

Give me some formula so that I'll know just exactly what I ought to do about courtship and engagement in marriage.

Well, I can't give you that, friends, but I do know this.

Those who've studied marriage failures and marriage successes have discovered that when a courtship is 2 years long and engagement about a year, there is much greater chance for true happiness.

Learn to know 1 another well before such a steppish marriage takes place.

Now isn't it better to wait 1 year than to spend many long years in unhappiness?

I think that's just common sense, really.

You need to know yourself, you need to know the loved 1, you need to know the parents too because we marry a family more than we realize.

We need to become acquainted with them also.

Young people need to seek the counsel of their elders.

Mark Twain said he didn't want to counsel with his parents when he was 17 because they didn't know enough.

Happy Home, Part 2

The authority of parental discipline is collapsing under the new permissive society.

Children now grow up in an atmosphere of disrespect for almost all the rules of society.

In a moment, you'll hear the amazing facts about declining discipline.

Hello, this is Joe Cruz and the Amazing Facts broadcast, facts which affect you.

You know, so many people are asking these days, how are we to rear our children in these troubled times?

I'll have to confess, I was much more free in my advice before I was married than I am now when it comes to the question, How do you raise children?

I want to turn to the Bible and let the Bible tell us how we ought to do it.

Proverbs 22, verse 6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Now the Bible says we are to train up a child.

We are not to let a child grow up, we are to train that child and help him to grow up into a mature person.

Deuteronomy 6 reveals to us that we are to train our children to obey their parents and to obey God.

After God had counseled the children of Israel to keep His commandments, He said to them, And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thine children, and shalt talk to them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou sittest down, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up, and thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

Thou shalt write them upon the post of thine house, and on thy gates." Now you might say, well, are we supposed to do that?

Are we to take the commandments of God and write them on the door, and on the kitchen wall, and on the gate post, so that our children can always see them?

No, friends, that's not exactly what it's telling us to do or talking about.

It simply means that we as parents are to have the love of God in our hearts.

We're to obey God and keep His commandments and then, in turn, by our lives and our counsel and instruction, train our children to do likewise.

The love of God should be in our hearts every moment of the day, and that ought to be reflected in the kind of lives we live before our children.

They must be taught to obey God and their parents, for obedience lies at the foundation of all society and disobedience lies at the root of every evil.

We have this wonderful command of God in Exodus 20, verse 12, Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." And then in another place the Bible says that this is the first commandment with promise, honor thy father and mother.

Now you ask the question, should parents ever punish their children?

Friends, I don't want to know what men have to say about this, but I want to know what the Bible answer is.

Listen, Proverbs 19, 18, Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." Now that's an interesting Bible text, isn't it?

Were to chasten a son while there's hope while he's young, he might learn to obey then, and also he'll learn that disobedience brings punishment later on, that disobedience can't go by without receiving the attention of parents or adults.

Proverbs 23, 13 says, Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Now it says here that if a person does have to spank a child, if he has to get a switch or a rod or whatever else it is, a child isn't going to die because of that.

Now this is not giving license for a parent to beat his child unmercifully, friends.

But it does say that correction and punishment has its place in teaching those children how to obey.

The reason for that, I believe, is found in Proverbs 22, 15.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Now 1 of the reasons for insecurity in the world today among young people is that their parents have never disciplined them, and so those children feel that their parents don't really love them.

I've heard young people express that very thought.

Some young people over in Nevada were having a roundtable discussion on a television program, and the question was asked, why are young people today getting into trouble with the law authorities so much?

And Those young people themselves said, we'll tell you what the trouble is.

They never tell us that we can't do certain things, and so we go the whole limit and we don't feel right about it.

We wish they'd set their foot down and tell us what we ought to do.

But as long as they don't care, we'll go the whole limit.

And therefore, because we don't respect them, we don't respect the law authorities either.

If our parents would just sit down on us a little bit, then we'd feel more secure about the whole thing.

Now that, in substance, was what those young people said.

Now listen, take a little boy, for example.

Now when I talk about the laying on of hands, friends, I'm not talking about unmercifully beating a child or striking in anger or yelling or any such thing.

A child should never be spanked in anger or impatience.

His father has never corrected him, has never spanked him.

He stands on the street corner talking to some of the other fellows And they get to talking about their dads.

1 little fella says, you know, my dad's really strong.

Another little boy bristles up and he says, listen here, my dad can whip your dad.

And the third little boy stands saying nothing.

There's insecurity in a child who doesn't know true discipline.

Now somebody has said that we have a switch for everything in these modern homes except the kids.

I suppose there's a certain amount of truth in that.

Billy Graham tells a story of visiting a family, and in the course of the visit with the father of the home, the little boy ran in.

And it was a cold day, And the door was left wide open.

The father said, Johnny, go close the door.

Johnny went on about his play in the room and didn't pay a bit of attention to his dad.

And after a moment went by, the dad said, Johnny, I told you to close that door.

Again, the child completely ignored the father's command.

They talked on for another minute or so, and the father said, Johnny, I'm telling you for the last time, if you don't close that door, I'm going to spank you.

And pretty soon the father got up, walked over, and closed the door.

He said, if I had that child for 5 minutes, he'd go into the door-slamming business.

And really, friends, disobedience to parents is absolutely appalling today.

Parents say, well, we shouldn't discipline a little baby.

And then when it's hard to discipline them a little later, they say, well, he's just going through a stage.

And we flatter ourselves that when he becomes a sensible teenager, everything's going to straighten out.

But it doesn't happen because he's never learned discipline as a baby.

God has given them reason and the power to think.

A child can learn to obey when just a baby, actually.

The Bible counsel is not a permission or command to beat the child or yell or scream at the child.

So often a parent will say, I've told you a thousand times not to do that.

Now listen, if telling a child would do it, you wouldn't have to tell him a thousand times.

And it isn't just yelling or striking in anger or jerking a child around that's meant here.

We need to understand the balance between love and discipline and consistency.

When a child errs, we don't strike in anger.

I agree that there are times when it's pretty hard to keep your composure, it's pretty hard to keep from flying off the handle at times at the disgusting things a child can do, but that's the time for the parent to learn some patience and learn some discipline for himself.

Just draw aside and wait till he cools down before handling the situation, and then carefully explain to that child why it has to happen.

Pray with the child and bring in that spirit and the correction.

But the punishment must come and the child must understand.

The punishment will have a wholesome effect and it will not have to be repeated many times in most cases, because 1 time usually will take care of it.

Now on The other side of this question is something just as bad, and that's the parent who's harsh and cruel to the child, the parent who is indifferent, who's not aware of the needs of a little child, who doesn't even understand that little babies and little children are like tender plants that need to be nourished and tenderly watered and provided for.

In too many homes, the children are starving for love.

They never know what it means to have the parent love them and hold them.

They never see the parents expressing any love.

They never see Dad put his arm around Mother.

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Happy Home

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Happy Home, Part 2

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