There are many errors causing singles to be single longer than they would otherwise be. Find out these very actionable practical things singles can do to find more success in the search for a partner.

<p>There are many errors causing singles to be single longer than they would otherwise be. Find out these very actionable practical things singles can do to find more success in the search for a partner.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Freedom Health Ministries

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Gabriel Arruda

The Jezebel Spirit & Modern Dating

Swipe Right, Part 1

Swipe Right, Part 2

Swipe Right, Part 3

How to Pray for A Godly Spouse

And we're going to talk about how not to be single anymore.

And so if you have been single for a year after year and it's just dragging on and you're wondering what in the world is happening, why is this happening to me?

We have some really important advice for you.

There are some big issues that can keep people single way longer than they should be.

So it's great, there's things you could do.

Now, I just wanna say We don't make any guarantees.

Results may vary per customer, but there's going to be some really helpful Sage advice here.

And in this third part, as I've mentioned, I am going to bring in my friends Sean and Chanchi Wycliffe.

I've worked with them both in ministry and I've seen them really embody a lot of the principles that I've spoken about in the previous 2 sessions, what a good mentor and a good supporter should be like.

And so they've worked with literally dozens of singles.

They have some have several success stories And so I just think we also think very similarly in this area and I just see that they really just get it So I want to introduce them at this point Sean and Chianchi.

Can you tell us who you are and What you do?

Yeah, my name is Sean Wycliffe and my wife, Chanchi Wycliffe is here next to me.

And we live in Southern California in Lake Elsinore up in the mountains.

We have 2 kids and We have a ministry called Christ's Method Alone that we started back in 2014.

It started as a campus ministry in and around UC Berkeley.

And so we were there for about 6 years until COVID happened and until our firstborn son was born.

And then we ended up, there's a whole miracle story behind this, but we ended up moving to the mountains in Southern California on a friend's property, and we've been here for about 5 years, and it's been a huge blessing.

In fact, he hasn't even charged us rent for the last 5 years.

And so, we know that God has provided this space for us to do work for him.

And so we've wanted to use this place and the space that we're in for his glory.

And so 1 of the things that we've always been trying to do is figure out how can we use this property for him?

And so recently in December, about a year and a half ago, December 2023 I believe, we had a retreat up here.

And so there was maybe about 20 young adults that came and it was a Friday to Sunday event and it was a very powerful event and I was personally extremely touched and I had a major reconversion experience there for myself as well.

And so ever since then, God opened up the doors for us to have more of these retreats.

So in 2024, we did 6 of these and this year so far we've done 2.

We're looking to do another 1 on Labor Day 2025 and on another 1 after that.

So anyways, that's 1 of the main things that we've been doing and it's been a blessing because we've been able to have anywhere between 25 to 40-ish young adults that will come usually for about 72 hours on a long weekend with great speakers like Gabe, of course, as well as others.

And it's just been a very spiritual time.

And having had attended, I think 3 of these so far, I could just say These are powerful, amazing events.

If you haven't been to 1, I highly recommend them, if you can manage to make the time to do that.

Sean and Shanchi, thank you so much for being here.

And so we're gonna get to the main talk here, and we're gonna talk about 4 common courtship dating problems.

And we're going to after that, we're going to talk about some helpful courtship dating tips for women.

And we're going to share a few tips for the men at the end.

And I really also want to change you to to be in on this because I didn't want this just to be 2 men giving women dating advice.

And so Chanshi, thank you again for being here with Sean.

Yeah, I'm happy to be here, although Sean's usually the spoke person for me, so I'll definitely add in some comments here and there, but I wouldn't be too surprised if he makes more comments than I do.

Okay, it wouldn't be unusual, but we're definitely gonna be looking forward to appreciating your female perspective because I think it's helpful for women to hear from another woman.

So the first problem I want to talk about that I feel is a big issue that's keeping people single longer than they should be is the lack of mentors and supporters.

And so, again, for those who are listening, mentors I define as people who are older than you, who are spiritual, and who are successfully married.

Supporters are people who are in the same boat as you, people who are like your peers, your friends, who are also single, also godly, also on the same journey, and we really need both of them.

And so, but I wanna hear from Sean and Chianchi, you know, do you, Do you think that mentors and supporters are really necessary for singles to make a big difference in whether they become successfully married or not?

If you look at the blueprint that's given in the Word of God, we actually see this very commonly shown in scripture.

So you have situations like Ruth, but where there was Ruth, there was Naomi.

Where there was Isaac, there was Eliezer and even his dad Abraham, right?

And so we're told very clearly in the Bible, for instance, Proverbs 11, verse 14, where no counsel is the people fail, but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.

And so there's this principle that God gives us to lean on and to receive from mentors.

If you have godly parents that care about you, they can do most of the heavy lifting here.

But for many people that have maybe converted later in life and your parents are not Christians or maybe not Avenist or maybe they are but they don't have a really strong walk with the Lord, you might need to have more other mentors that can be there to help help you in this area.

And so I definitely think it's super important.

Most things that we do in life, we have people that teach us what to do.

So if you want to become a doctor, you go to medical school for 4 years and after that you have residency for a few years and you have attending physicians that are teaching you what to do before you just operate on somebody, yeah?

But when we go out and we get married, we often just fly by ourselves without really knowing which way we're going and we often end up unsuccessful either even being married or if we do get married, we end up in an unsuccessful relationship.

And so I think a lot of that can be avoided by having mentors that will be there to help steer and guide you in the right direction.

Yeah, and I especially appreciated the mentors that Sean had, maybe you can share a little bit about your experience too.

But I came, I didn't grow up in the church.

My family never really shown me what a healthy relationship should look like.

So I had a very distorted understanding and view about relationship.

And because Sean took the time to be mentored and he understood the the foundation of a good relationship and he worked hard and laying that for us early on in our relationship that really help avoid a lot of issues that most people encounter in their relationship.

So I really appreciated the time that Sean took to do that and even though I didn't have that opportunity I greatly benefited from it.

But maybe you can share a little bit about.

So I had a big conversion experience in 2005.

I went to a GYC event in Tennessee, had this big conversion experience, and I actually prayed for God to give me a mentor to teach me the Bible.

So I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to talk to this gentleman.

At the time he was in real estate, then he went on to become the director of Souls West for about a decade.

So he mentored me a lot in the Bible, But we ended up starting this small group.

So it was me, him, 1 of our associates pastors at the Fontana Church named Steve Toscano, and then I had another friend of ours who was also Michael's cousin, Jeremy Salvador.

So the 4 of us, and I don't know if I mentioned Shane Lathram, he was also there too.

The 4 of us were in this small group and we'd meet every week and we'd go through the Bible and different things and eventually we started talking a lot more about relationships.

And so that came up, I had a lot of questions, I had come from a worldly background during my dating life and so there's a lot of things I was relearning.

And so obviously they directed me to books like Adventist Home, Letters to Young Lovers, etc.

But in the in the thick of it, when I'm going through a situation or wanting to talk to somebody or I'm finding myself in a certain scenario, they were very helpful with those things.

Now, it was very difficult for me because a lot of the advice that I got from the early days was things like, you're not ready, Sean.

Or, Sean, you have a little temper, you need to work on that before you try to engage yourself in another relationship and things of this nature.

Often the advice they gave me was not anything that I was happy about.

And to be honest, we argued about a lot of these things.

And eventually I kind of went off on my own and did my own thing.

And so I ended up dating these 2 different girls briefly and they both failed, the relationships that is.

And so I ended up going back to college and that's shortly thereafter where I met my wife.

Series

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Swipe Right, Part 3

Transcript

Description

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

God's Love Stories (Noon Meetings)

9. Starting Right

42m

Bold unto the Throne Seminars

Building a Sanctuary Inspired Marriage

40m

Biblical Relationships (Afternoon meetings)

Preparing to Tie the Knot (Part 2)

31m

Dating Isn't For Cowards

Dating Isn’t For Cowards- Part 2

51m

Finding Your Life-long Friend

1h 16m

Malfunction to Miracles

56m

GYC SE 2013: How to Avoid a Breakup

Safeguarding Your Relationship

1h

The Great Decision: Who Should I Marry?

1h 19m

Romantic Relationship Seminar

01 Why So Many Adventist Singles?

59m

How to Know God's Will for My Life

How to Know God’s Will for My Relationships

48m

How to Work Together as a Couple or Family in Ministry

1h 48m

Emmanuel Training Sessions

23. Bible Study Reformation

54m

Sound Doctrine