Learn how modern dating apps have transformed our current culture and how it has impacted the church.

<p>Learn how modern dating apps have transformed our current culture and how it has impacted the church.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Freedom Health Ministries

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Gabriel Arruda

The Jezebel Spirit & Modern Dating

Swipe Right, Part 1

Swipe Right, Part 2

Swipe Right, Part 3

How to Pray for A Godly Spouse

All right, we're meeting here to discuss Swipe Right Part 2.

So we spoke about why these apps are a disaster, especially for young men in the previous 1.

And if you heard the previous message and you're a woman sitting there, you are probably thinking, oh my goodness, where have these dating apps been my whole life?

I haven't seen a lot of good male options in the church and 92.1 likes a day, 100 messages a week, over 100 matches a week.

It kind of seems like the best thing to happen to women ever.

This is not the romance novel dream it appears to be.

We're going to see why these apps are also really bad for women.

Now in this talk we're gonna hear some edgy material, even more than the last, but it's just what's happening and our people need to be warned lest they get tempted to start using these apps.

And I'm going to say some things out loud in this talk that are probably going to sound, to be honest, really worldly about men and women and physical appearance.

But in my opinion, I think it's all stuff that we just know is true.

And so we're just going to be very open and honest about this.

Now, I do want to give a little caveat before I get started.

You know, you can find people today who are happily married, who connected using dating apps.

It's not a 100% evil thing, but I just wanna say the odds are not in your favor.

You're much more likely to have a bad experience, put it that way.

And I know some people make comments like, well, I met so and so and they got married and they met on dating apps.

Yeah, it happens, but the odds are not in your favor.

Why are these dating apps generally very bad for women?

It's giving average women unrealistic over-inflated views of themselves.

So women who frequently use these apps are becoming more arrogant and entitled.

These apps, essentially they're giving women a bigger head than they need.

We don't have hard data on this, but based on the trends we see on the apps, which is pretty well documented now because people blab about everything online.

So we could get a decent pulse about what's happening with both the male and female population.

And they're pretty much telling us what's happening.

And if you just think about it, it makes sense.

If you have hundreds of guys messaging you every week That's gonna do something to your mind.

That's gonna do something to your personality and honestly It's just not healthy for anyone to be overwhelmed by romantic options.

It goes to your head and you know, we could see before and after Pictures of people who became famous, you know before they were this nice normal humble person and after they got weird and entitled and that's somewhat what's happening with women on these dating apps and What this potentially means the reason why this is so bad.

Well, it's bad to have an overinflated view of yourself But it can ruin their chances of being content with the right guy for them That's why this is so bad.

It could ruin their chances of being content with the right guy for them.

And so I'm gonna say something out loud here that's gonna sound really worldly, but we just know it's true, please bear with me.

For the vast majority of people, we date and marry, quote unquote, within your league.

People date and marry within their league.

So average looking people usually end up with other average looking people.

More attractive people usually end up with other more attractive people.

This is just a rule, an unwritten rule law of life.

And an average-looking woman should expect to land an average-looking guy, and that's okay.

I mean, this isn't who can land the hottest spouse competition, you know?

This is who can be blessed with the spouse that you can glorify God the most with.

Who can find the spouse who will provide you the most fulfillment?

You know, that's, you could find so much happiness in someone who is not, doesn't have to look like a model, you know?

But what seems to be happening is that the women who are using these apps who are average or slightly above average looking, they get it in their heads that they're some sort of runway model.

And it's because they have all these men chasing them and competing for them on these apps.

And so that raises their expectations in their mind.

And these women are expecting to marry and land guys that are actually just not real options for them.

All the while overlooking men that would really have made them happy.

Problem number 2, it's leading women to be used for sex.

Now remember, 80 to 95% of women are going for the top 20% or even in the case of Tinder, the top 5% of men.

So these guys are getting a lot of attention.

What does that mean they're getting more choosy?

Well, first let me tell you what it doesn't mean.

It doesn't mean that they're only willing to date the most beautiful women.

These guys are still willing to date a lot of what you would call lower tier or more average looking women.

Why would a top tier, super attractive, successful, fit guy, a more average looking woman, when he's quote unquote out of her league?

It's because these top tier men are on these apps mainly for 1 thing.

These are the worldly apps, so you know what this is all about.

1 study found that about 50% of women on the apps are there to find a steady relationship.

And the same study found that 50% of men are on these apps to find quote-unquote casual relationships.

Do you know what that word casual relationships is code word for?

So even your best-looking guy, if you give him a choice between doing nothing tonight, being by yourself, or having sex with an average-looking girl, he's going to choose the sex.

So how are these top-tier men being more choosy then if it's not about who they're willing to date.

They're not being choosy about who they're willing to date or have sex with but they're choosy about who they're willing to commit to.

These top-tier men only want to commit to the best-looking women, the top 5% of women.

So what's happening to these other 73% of women that he's going on dates with?

If I could just be really clear on what's happening on these apps.

So you can see women complaining about this on TikTok and Instagram.

You know, they have found this amazingly attractive guy.

They're so wishy-washy and this is part of the reason you were never a serious option to begin with.

That's what these apps are fostering for women.

This is the environment it's creating for women.

So they're going on these dates with these really good-looking guys.

They're getting used for sex and the whole time they're using these dating apps, what's happening to them?

Now again, let me give you some Gen Z millennial terminology here.

Series

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Swipe Right, Part 2

Transcript

Description

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

When it’s not Good for Man to be Alone

1h 9m

Romantic Relationship Seminar

04 How To Help Men And Women Connect

1h 9m

Personal Relationships with Significant Others

56m

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Swipe Right, Part 1

48m

Relationships and Family Life

My ‘Single’ Desire

1h 24m

Romantic Relationship Seminar

01 Why So Many Adventist Singles?

59m

Ten Commandments of Marriage

Ten Commandments of Marriage Part 1

38m

God’s Love Letters

1h 6m

My Single Joy

1h 14m

Alan and Nicole Parker: Letting God Write Your Love Story

Letting God Be the Author of Your Love Story

52m

Why Jesus Can’t be Your Boyfriend

59m

Seminars

Family in End-Time Perspective

51m

Sound Doctrine