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Courtship Question and Answer Session

Phil Mills Sr.

Presenter

Phil Mills Sr.

Dermatologist in Northern Georgia

Sponsor

Recorded

  • April 29, 2006
    4:00 PM
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is not necessarily that you cannot get married in the professional school but it depends on the individual situation and the circumstances of the for example all their might be instances where the husband would be working while the wife was taking professional school might be instances where the wife was working in the husband taking professionals makes it more difficult and then of course it's complicated with children found to have debate goes through very very carefully there's not one single answer in the Bible in the instruction judges there were certain things adjusted this is what you get in or other things words as you present this to the jury for the judges and they decide there are things that were there just too many variables to give one single the question areas of cross-cultural lot marriages and success rate and I can't really is I can't really tell you what the the researches I can tell you that in Bible times the Council was the tribe was to marry within trial and exactly all the reasons for that I don't know there in the Bible so of cross-cultural marriages there's nothing sinful about it there's nothing wrong about it in some cases depending on me the views of the society oh and have more difficulties than others you just have to ways one of those things that you way way carefully sometimes there's enrichment some cultures are enriching to other cultures so I'd have to consider the consequences the children you have to consider understanding of parents all those things with the wood play a major factor and in my mind when I say never know what I say always know you have to weigh all that and then make a decision the question is what our appropriate physical boundaries in a relationship before marriage we have clear instruction and in Matthew on Mary and Joseph who were engaged in they were engaged for a year it's as they did know each other and if you look at the ally job it's very interesting now he wasn't dating this is just an observation from biblical notice how it says they are in the story of Elijah in case he was there living with the widow of zero join says he took the boy to the law for his room he was a part you don't want to have anything that even looks suspicious notice what Jesus did they are again John for he was talking to women as well she was reputation five times married and living with somebody now and you said after he properly referred by Mrs. go-getter husband even though he was talking out in the middle where everybody could say he was very careful here's what I would suggest one of the problems that we have in our society does we have forgotten the value of chaperones if you want to know what's appropriate is that something with it Susan is big the question is what about the instruction of Matthew that if you look with lust have you committed adultery and her boyfriend girlfriend relationship home all answers are found in the Bible if there is an answer and ultimately the source comes right down the ten Commandments the Scripture says in the ten Commandments written in stone by the finger of God it says thou shalt not commit adultery what is adultery adultery is to others whether you grew is that is giving to another that which is only for one and so you don't want to be doing before marriage what you would not do with someone that was not your wife after you are married you want to give to another what properly is only in one and the Scripture that talks about all last is referring to anything outside of marriage now the Bible has several words for different types of sexual sin of will we call a cohabitation asked me that's the same applies study word by sociologist the Bible posted by thriving organization and we have various words for these are just the Bible and in God wants us to have your hearts purity is very very rare I didn't really dwell much on the night I had about twenty minutes but I just took out from today's sermon it was all on moral purity and I didn't have time to put it into this one just didn't fit but God wants us happen in majority breeds and charity if you want to create a problems in marriage afterword in the area of physical union then be morally impure before you are problems all the studies in uniform should so God 's word is true and Satan tries to trip us up because if you look at your ancestry in the Bible there are certain things that you can but you can know where all related to know so we has some of his dreams I have some technologies and wanted know I do to get so that means that coming through my line somewhere there are going to be weaknesses toward intemperance that right one study what the sins of your fathers so that you can know what to avoid and not as as a child and also if you study you find that certain lines had moral impurity and dishonestly for example a wrong starting with Abraham what Abraham do they live what did the seesawing as a harvested what did Isaac do lie what did Jacob do why each time like it's bigger and worse and you keep going down the stairs a tribe of Judah that have lying in their background they also have moral impurity tamer was the first woman it's mentioned in Matthew one we mentioned that chapter this morning tamer had any immoral relationship with Judith what would you expect June his children have problems with line and immorality what do David have a problem with lying and immorality it just goes down through there and then you come to Jesus and what do you predict you have a problem with through the grace of God that evil heritage did not make you a liar or immoral despite the ventricle and it God wants to give us victory over the sins that lead our society our society at the end of time is to have Sodom and Gomorrah like tendencies to synthesize what was posters and slide students and since then God wants us by our allies to have a moral purity that enables us to have all the joy of marriage without shame or regret diseases the will America pregnancies that come along with Satan 's plan was there is a better question is what is last award last simply means desire and what we want is to have desires that are wholly but we don't have his desires home as we saw last night those of you were here the way we follow the Lord is if anyone desires to come after me it starts with that word desire their translator desires the same great wordless we desire godliness so the real problem is which desires are going to have ascendancy and power in your life is going to be the lust of flesh or is it going to be the desires for godliness but even the love the world or even the lovelorn simian figure the question is can we have a summary of that answer is no him and and and it wouldn't be right not to give the whole thing because of the horrible and there is a website question is asking home in my saying that we shouldn't hold hands before marriage it even if we're engaged and say anything that is not as I dodged it I referred to the Bible and what I think on the subject doesn't really matter if you look at John three defined that John the Baptist somebody came up and find his disciples and he said a certain thing and then a little later to find out that Jesus said the same thing almost identical and I like the concept of if somebody asked Jesus a question and then somebody ask you would your answers be the same and the only way I can know what Jesus answers are as what the Bible says have no other way of knowing what Jesus thinks on income and has been silent the best thing for me to do is keep my mouth shut if God saw that it was best for him to say nothing then it's probably best for me one of things that that is the real problem is going on behind what the Bible says and I don't want to do that I should be heard I didn't say what you can or can't do I simply left the principle as I understand it study it out and and then determine those things based on not our I have our own knowing that our human problem will exist as Ellen White says that people have trouble understanding the word of God because in those areas that they don't want to do so if you don't want to do something or you do want to do something you going to happen I just tell you you are going to have trouble understanding the Bible 's clear instruction on but struggle through that and surrender to what the Lord wants and what you understand the Scripture to say regardless in God will give you hell maybe fanatic following Jesus no never happen in a greater beauty fanatic following order God just don't go beyond doing but don't go beyond it I like that very much the comment was and is helping me out and the golden rule and is actually doing the golden rule by helping me out that he has don't do to a potential future spouse what you wouldn't want somebody else to do to your potential interest to them frankly I tend to want to air on the side of caution rather than on the side of the concoction if I'm going to drive the drive as far away from the edges again in the not as close as I can their people they want to know the one I'm giving health lecture want to know not exactly Mister Julio get my illustration how many maraschino cherries can you eat no reports on help and I don't know and the question is yes your committed to the Lord your listening to his voice you're sensitive to the direction of the Scripture don't know them and you'll be appropriate yes unity of involves core beliefs which is one Lord one faith one baptism there is no way that a person for example who is a Sabbath keeper should marry somebody who is not talking egocentric possible to have one big one Lord one baptism so there are certain things that God has put in a separate his people from the world there two things that have always separated God 's people from the world one is the Sabbath day that you and the other is that well above the law should say the law and of these the profits those are the two things are God 's people have had lots of problems want to send what they had long God 's people today have the same two things to the law and to the testimony is not according to this word is no light in them and at the end of time Revelation twelve seventeen says that Satan is particularly angry with the with those that keep the commandments of God I just wanted to describe that is the law and the prophets and we have been absolutely forbidden to marry outside of one Lord one faith one baptism now does that mean that something else is not a good Christian committed Christian lovelorn but they're not the data is a less hard for me to alarm the Lord will help it were not going to find a perfect person because we don't offer them a perfect person that is when a perfect life of one person said he said every crooked cattle has a crooked lid and God has a way to unite two imperfect people will love you and bring about a a useful tool and implement my paper could plot the cricket live but it can contain the precious truths of Jesus and Sharon for all the question is can you tell us briefly how we how I met my wife was here Loma Linda in the eye was a half primitive and I was actually with another girl but I can't like that you didn't know we are having her van and I had arranged to get up here this person and so a friend of mine then call me away wanted me to meet somebody else and I was so discussed above I had to leave the program goes with the potential significant other and went over to me this person with Pakistan figures from who he was impressed with and so I met his for versus sister with her that would be met the sister and I quickly went back to the program I was with the next Sabbath all by now why she saying with a atrium and it was love at first out you're not quite I was very impressed with the trail in so I told my friend I should use it like a nice person but are going home well but I I didn't know Sherry from Adam otherwise and so because of the past interest in being a he got invited over to their home and they would fix Vodafone of hospitality found out about their culinary talents I found out about the neatness and order the house but mostly from presently why walked into the home I family in their living room I fan all his paragraphs even some books I do now the review and Herald articles and I found in the mirror underlying Mark Sherry and read through lots of those books I was that was love at first sight is very very addressed in the and the fact that she was satisfied Jesus was very impressive now I was stupid I had to be a long time to to find half of the excellences are you know we have the mail Jane just as the defective gene but the me if I would've been smart I would've latched on to that second but I wasn't and so alone is a good thing and that your low dosages of a better way and in time I contacted her parents and asked if they would have been willing to let me get better acquainted with her daughter with the potential that it could lead to marriage related but that I wanted to consider dating and it took them wisely while figure out whether this should be done if I would've been them I said no but anyway after we got back with me and they gave their permission and so we started seeing each other we started memorizing the book of Revelation together she got to chapter five address chapter about one home but we would walk up in the hills and normalizing the getting better acquainted and I found out she was careful for health she was from my new school help but she had Masters in Public health nutrition or just lots of things that were positive like a family and I like the books that her father had some history books and I wanted she had a car that I needed a lot of things going and the ultimately open window I asked her after we've been dating for you the first time she remembers meeting me a remember for sure you we were on a coat a committee of the culture sitting through a party that God would be happy with Solway Saturday night entertainment and so she was part of them we had a great time and then we work together a lot of projects the first real date she didn't know was and didn't know till long time after but I asked I had to speak it West Covina church to give up talk and so I needed cargo so I found out that Dena would not be available so be safe to ask her to take me so I asked Dana said you know I just need this on its own when she was dating some Yeltsin so nobody would but since that so I asked her if she could take me to this place and she of course couldn't and then she did what I thought she would shoot very nice person she says why don't you take a car and so I was hoping for that and Hillis Hillis but it was my answer I couldn't do that as I've made a page is a little decision that I didn't borrow somebody else's car washes and maybe sure that you are thinking that so it was possible to be together without any clear evidence and just watch and see various character traits one study her character 's course now she was starting line that we found out later we both went to the same people to find out what they thought him to go when you look back on that or say was wonderful blessing no undeserved by the greatest blessing in my spiritual life as a prays for me we now pray for together four in the morning every morning at four hundred maybe even before four how will Waco will start crying again we pray over the various institutions our church the administrative Lords feelings my Bible first family neighbors and one of his praise for the institutions of which were involved with I hope everyone and then the other place which everything prays for our children special love people like I was braver Curtis vision for our children is one of my children is son-in-law in the end that's a wonderful win win this thing I can't imagine not being married to someone solely I just can't even imagine in the I recommend highly being very very selected a very selective go through this process make sure it applies to you go through it and delight thyself also in the Lord trust also in him and he shall bring the past trust the Lord of all and hardly not apply to understand God wants us to be made in the word and have all the blessings that come out the wording one Northwest I don't know what people but I do know one couple that everything that is far as I know was right this rejoinder by my daughter and son-in-law I have found negative editing that I that's what you want you want your children to do better than you did actually there are someday will be we should bring him back I didn't give a courtship summer yes you know everybody does it slightly different and there's there's not a one right or wrong answer for it but the principle is that the parents have to be actively involved for any heart no one is still in place my recommendation is primarily due group activities and before there is any exclusiveness or around singling out information from the authorities are your parents and the your potential life partners parents want that that real clear that one of the proms we have today that I noticed his parents they're supposed to counsel with their children and on about what to say and do so I think it's a real problem there their own portrait may not have been when I studied when I was at Loma Linda Ashley Sherry 's first remembering an asset is that the that group actually come wrong in their first memory was God 's plan and courtship and marriage I was working on a series of four we had Friday evenings when the whole planet courtship and marriage studies in depth and in detail while spirit of prophecy how I wanted it for myself to know and and Sherry was interested in coming because at the time I was dating and you thought this can be odd how can somebody is not invading talk about American which I agree it was a but it was something outside and we had a lot of good activities of the nice group at about ninety two hundred every Friday night for times when read together in the out-of-print I thinking Sharon so I think was a very good study and my purpose outside just to talk about you I found it it doesn't really matter your subject you want to talk about Jesus and so that just an excuse talk about Jesus in the context of purchasing marriage and we had people every single Friday night in the hospital or as well as was very very grateful for that opportunity and now coming back to in wife is the third time now well-known that had an opportunity to share this completely different than any other publisher he was sure his son last week while I think we probably have mounted one of barely know I hated it is because the Scripture says that it's the beast power that wears out the saints of the most high and I don't want to be part of that but okay there's a question of jar that I have had my parents actively involved what I would need somebody I would say got been off I thought they were nice I was a guy could you add that to the list and as I had about five people of which two were in eighteen and/or three that were nice and so when my dad came out I read in the quotation the physician should as a general leave merit I found that while I was studying on this courtship and marriage and so I asked him if he thought was appropriate and what what about that any thought there would be appropriate I said I would like you to let you have others to suggest I would like you to comment on the spot is a look at organizational all five are good and that to be agreed that was the adopter and that but after we had gone out the sherries how she didn't know why we're coming out they invited my dad to do a special vesper program and even those hundred miles the the only went out there spent the weekend with their family getting acquainted and so when that was done my dad says it now and in one of his advice because it made a good choice with my mom in he said the he said I know I really think that Sherry for you they are good people that Sherry was the best the one that I was really why wasn't sure but God always gave me a certain one and since then this girl is proven to be a stellar person because the fibers I introduced her to her now husband their leaders in the church and may nationally known I was the site of lack of an acyl an excellent person but she married the right person for her just because it's a good person doesn't need just because it's an outstanding person doesn't mean that the two of you are best as I wanted God 's best for her and me and so the Lord it led both of us feel that way in the end so that's that's how the Lord lead in that I learned also that if you're trying to follow the Lord you need to listen to a little annoyed everything else is go with the Internet little disquietude just ignore this possible that can be some form of guidance but my parents were very much involved now I should leave you with a story that I've never told before there's never been told publicly before but I'm going and that is my mother my dad was my mother 's your in the way she was eighteen was a fellow that came up she was in Chicago in the came up and it was a hometown boy is one of the heroes visited just been thinking about her and he had always thought he was the Reverend Bill the house is really right by her housewife significantly in Chicago she thought all this it's wonderful she wasn't the Christian time how much it was just so excited and so they got married I went to the justice of the base got there a license and went back to to once again there they may lead but it turned out that this was his father was successful he was a banker rather they were all successful but he didn't have any squalor he was a gambler the and they had about a year after they were married and he never came home the next after for specific banner should try to get a divorce for three years and there is not telling you this is their evening if you made some errors of judgment the Lord can turn all the same shady subsequently after she was divorced she was engaged by each time to stop pretending this is persistent Christian even though she wasn't sure what a Christian and was herself she went to visit Adventist church in the area because she bought at the right she knew that is larger was for all the jurors refer so they would know she was not a day and nobody ever even then socially enough what else to one day her sister drove one hundred and ninety miles round trip to take her abandonment and during that time she found should study the Bible worker which we had gone that he was eighty nine years old and yet out of all that God was working out all his bingo is a its scars the joyous half of them still the Lord knows how to take the scars make beauty is I just because of some of those situations my mother was very very pension along the way she raised us she had been home he was very the end of she never told about this because you didn't talk about divorce in those days you my brother just got in Nestorius and who now knowing she should totally all about Robin is told anyone else that I know in and I'm sharing with you encourage somebody here doesn't matter what your past this Jesus Sheen were these situations out and he wants you to have a whole want to have a wife who wants to have a future and hope you and and so I don't want to live anybody with either into this for so I want to third have the idea that anything I've done is necessarily right none of us do it right and everybody is situation slightly different the way God leads everybody is slightly different all of us are flawed we made many many mistakes with staff and God is through this process trying to help us not be as flawed and so he brings in my case he brought sharing into my life to helping out the supply and and so God wants to do this take each one of you maybe not married maybe single but God wants to bring people and experiences in your life to bring you of wonderful happiness that only heaven and I am going to stop thank you very much for your attention I didn't mean to just go on

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