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Maryland Men of Faith

Shelvan Arunan

God Gifted Sex

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Well, I wish we have time, a little bit to take time to introduce each other and we don't.

The best presentations are that people listen when we introduce and get to know each other.

So, my first thing is, why do we have so much misunderstanding and confusion about sex?

1 of the things is that we learn this sex from our family, our school, church, society, and friends and so on.

But because we learned from various resources that we think it's mysterious, the sex is mysterious, and it is not a suitable topic to discuss.

So sex is always advertised in magazines and TVs, something that is very mysterious and it is something very sensible and it is very secret, you know.

And we all become very curious because of that.

Another reason is that we also have lack of anatomical understanding how our body works, how our psychological mind works, how our spiritual and sexual mind work.

We are all sexual beings, we are all social beings, we are all spiritual beings, because God created us a whole being, not just 1 apart.

Sometimes we think that spirituality is the only thing God created us.

God has created us to enjoy and to have fun in this world, and at the same time glorify Him in our way of living.

So, because of this misunderstanding, people believe sex is a sin and it is dirty, it is consequence of sin.

I'm going to, like I introduced myself, as I go by you will understand the theology of sex, that sex is not a sin.

And I always tell people, having a knife in the house is not a sin, it is not dangerous.

God has gifted us with sex, the gift of sex.

So the first thing that we all have to understand is, the sex is not sin.

All the information we have gathered about the sexual relationship have created confusion, negative sexual etiquette in our mind.

You know, all the information we have gathered.

When did we have, sit with our pastors, we talked about sex.

This is 1 of the very important words in psychology.

You know, I like what Karl said this morning, you know, we learn to brush our teeth, We learn to tie our shoe.

We learn it in the wrong place at the wrong time from the wrong people.

So it is very very important to know sex is a learned behavior.

The image because of that you and I have is a wrong image.

Now if I say elephant, if I say a lion, you see a lion right there.

But if I say elephant, can you see elephant in your mind?

So what is the picture you have about sex?

So, when you are involved with sexuality, with your girlfriend, with your fiancé, with your wife, whoever it is, that picture is the 1 that is guiding you.

If the picture is a wrong picture in your mind and you learned a wrong behavior, a wrong way of doing it, you're going to do it thinking it is the right way.

So there is 2 things in psychology we say 1 is a conscious, what is unconscious?

Conscious is you know that you are doing the right thing or wrong thing.

Unconscious you don't know that you are doing right or wrong.

So you have learned all this all throughout your life and it became very unconscious within yourself, it automatically comes.

So, now I think I had clients, the family talk about sex, that they don't allow the younger people to get involved in sexual conversation.

Now I am as a family therapist, myself as a clinical psychologist, myself, when we have adolescent or young people problem, we bring the family together, you know, and we told our son to not to talk about the sex, but he keep talking.

I want you to tell him not to talk about it.

You see, So they always put something wrong about that in our mind, you know.

I have just 1 grandchild, he is 5 months old.

But I had a son and a daughter, you know.

I remember that if I say something I have in the refrigerator for the Sabbath, you are not supposed to eat that ice cream for the Sabbath.

Well, they just want to open the refrigerator, put their finger, mmm, it's good.

There is a paradoxical effect, there is a curiosity in it.

So, somewhere we all have to take the responsibility that we have been misled or we are misleading our children.

Because we are misled in the past by our community, our parents, our society, we don't know how to lead our children, we are leading them, misleading them.

So it is very, very important to understand the concept.

At the same time, a feeling of guilt is awakened because of this and there is the gift of sexuality cannot be feel and understood.

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God Gifted Sex

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