GYC SE 2022 Fall Conference

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GYC Southeast

Marriage

Stephen Lee

Felecia Lee

Marriage is Not For You Part 2

It doesn't have to be exactly related to what we just shared, but it could be general questions.

Some people charge 2000 dollars for this, so.

So, as I mentioned before, I am married to a human, not an angel, and I love my human very much.

And the thing is, We do hurt each other at times.

And you know, it's not willfully, it's not that we wake up in the morning and I'm like, I'm gonna get on Steven's nerves today.

And Steven doesn't wake up, I'm going to annoy my wife today.

Sometimes in our own frustration or whatever we have going on we do hurt each other and remember I started off with that story that Friday evening when I said that the Holy Spirit said tonight is going to be tough and it ended up being a very tough night.

In that moment, you definitely are tempted to respond in the way that you feel.

And throughout our marriage, we do have instances of that.

I don't remember what in particular happened, but I was led to this verse in 1st Peter chapter 2 verse 23 to 25 and then I'll sort of answer that.

So talking about Jesus Christ 1st Peter chapter 2 23 25.

Who, when he was reviled, did not revile in return.

When he suffered, he did not threaten, but committed himself to the 1 who judges righteously.

So I don't remember what it was that Stephen had done or said, but I remember going into my, I call it my little prayer corner, and I do not at all want to portray myself as a saint because I am not.

I usually go to my prayer corner after I've made the situation worse.

And I remember really feeling a lot of just negative emotions.

And when I find that we are having conflict, I feel like I cannot move on until he has apologized and groveled at my feet and begged for my forgiveness and say that this is what he's done and he's so sorry and it was a real battle and struggle for me.

I really felt I could not move on unless he did that, unless he recognized what he did.

And so I'm there praying, crying, I'm like, God, make him see what he has done.

And I remember in that particular moment, the Lord is like, Felicia, if someone stabs you with a knife and you are bleeding, why are you going to the person who stabbed you to heal you?

You never go to the person who wounded you for that person to then heal you, Right?

The doctor stitches you up and because you are stitched up You can then confront the person who stabbed you, right?

But if you are bleeding and you are talking to the person who wounded you what's gonna happen?

You're gonna bleed to death And the person who stabbed you will probably still feel as if they had a right to stab you, right?

So I had to learn several things 1 Whenever I am wounded and even my husband whenever he has been wounded by me.

I Always have to seek the healing from God first and foremost Before I take that up with him Anytime I am trying to solve it from still and I don't mean that God is just gonna suddenly Woo saw some healing over me and then I don't have to bring it up with him anymore We still have to talk about it But in I have found it makes a huge difference in our marriage when I am talking with Stephen or working through a problem from a place of first bringing it to the Lord and then bringing that up to him and then because I have to learn to come to a place even if, And this hasn't happened yet, but even if he doesn't recognize the wrong that he did that I am still okay And I can still commit myself To God and then I also have to learn that sometimes when it comes to sin Your husband or your friend or whoever might not actually recognize that what they are doing is sin in that case your words are Not powerful enough to persuade them You are not the Holy Spirit and you cannot convict someone else of sin I have to recognize I need to actually take that in prayer because there's a quote that says, I think it's by A.W.

Tozer, when the Lord grants you discernment, it is not to condemn, but to intercede.

So when God gives you discernment about sin in your husband's life or your wife's life, the first thing that we need to do is to intercede.

And God may actually use you to speak to him or call someone else to speak to him, or God may impress that, and I have witnessed that in our own marriage.

But a lot of times I have made an even greater conflict by trying to resolve it without first trying to seek that healing from God or asking God to convict him of that particular sin first.

And the other thing that I've been learning too is that if, let's say, my husband is doing something that's grievous to me, if he's disrespecting, dishonoring, he hasn't, but let's say that is the case, that is a symptom of a greater problem, and I need to be more concerned about his soul salvation than I am about my own discomfort in that moment.

Not minimizing what I'm feeling, but if I look at it from a standpoint of something is happening over my husband's soul and I need to intercede and fast for him and that's why he's hurting me, I will respond differently.

Because a man who is, I'm saying man because I'm a woman, but a husband who is disrespectful and demeaning is not, we tend to take it personally, that's not a personal thing.

Something is happening between his relationship with God and that's where he needs that intercession and prayer and a lot of fasting for that relationship to be mended and then it can happen on the marital level.

I think for me it's a lot of, because even doing stuff like this, it's a training for us.

God has us doing this because he wants to train us.

You have no idea how difficult it is for you to talk together, present together.

I mean, you don't know all the things behind the scenes.

I'm not saying I do, but I do know that you're the best person to speak to.

I have 5 top things, I'm sure there's many more you can say.

1, I've been learning that I have turned my gift or talent that the Lord has given me into an idol.

And the Lord is using marriage to break down that idol.

What I mean by that is, I enjoy speaking in front of a crowd and I can do that well on my own.

But when it comes to doing that with someone else, all of a sudden I have to share the stage and I have to admit, I held onto that very jealously.

And so early on in our marriage, we were asked to present together.

And so this right here and able to do it together is a miracle.

And the Lord had to show me, I gave you that talent and I should also be able to take it and mature it to another level.

But I was so willing to hold on to my doll that I didn't want to exchange it for gold.

And so that is 1 thing that God has been teaching me.

Second, man, there's just so much going on in my mind.

There's a lot, but that's the 1 main thing that I would share, how about you?

As a man, I felt like, you know, I should be able to speak better.

I guess if it's a Korean thing, I don't know where it comes from, but it's like, because you grow up looking at all these speakers, you want to be those speakers, right?

And for me, I was a person who could not speak on the stage.

I had stage frights where I would stutter really bad and you couldn't understand what I'm saying.

So even in 101 I was so nervous and shy in front of people.

I could, literally, my dad had to train me to ask the grocery people, the helpers, the workers, to ask for some item because I was so afraid of speaking to people.

So he would literally I want you to today we're going to grocery shop, we go there and he's like I would you have to go ask that person where the ketchup is and I would be just terrified.

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Marriage

Marriage is Not For You Part 2

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Marriage is Not For You Part 2

1h 4m

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