A husband knows when he’s in his wife’s heart

<p>A husband knows when he’s in his wife’s heart</p>

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Restoration International

Women A High Calling

Alane Waters

The Standard of True Womanhood

Today I'm going to be sharing with you a message entitled the standard of true womanhood.

Does God have a special calling for us as women?

Today we're going to be looking at 4 of those areas but before we begin I'd like us to consider what women are like today.

When we look and consider the role and the model of women in our society and even within the church What type of thoughts do you have about women today?

As I thought about it, these were some of the things that were brought to my mind the women of today are outspoken, they're bold, forward, aggressive, and modest and artificial, even uneducated.

Does that sound a bit offensive that women today are uneducated?

But the uneducated that I'm speaking of here is not being educated in the ways of the Lord and the things he would have us to be as women.

And I realized as I began to look at the role of a woman that when I was a young girl growing up my mother was a mother in the home and she was a very modest woman she was very simple and quiet and reserved and had many of the characteristics that God is calling us to have as women.

And yet as I grew older and was out of the home and as I began to be influenced by those around me, influenced by the world, influenced within the church, and I began associating with different people, I found that I began to take up some of these very attributes that I shared with you in the beginning.

I became somewhat bold and forward and outspoken, aggressive in my work role.

And God is calling to us as women that we not just accept the way that we see women's behavior and their role today, but that we go back to his word and we look for how he would have us to be as women.

The opening verse I would like us to look at first is what I would consider the definition of womanhood, a Christ-like woman.

Proverbs 31 verse 30 says, Christ like woman.

It says, favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Now, the word favor here, when I read that, I thought, how can favor be deceitful?

How can favor, that sounds very positive, that's a good attribute, to be in favor with people.

And again, the word here favor means to show kindness pleasantness graciousness Well isn't that something that we want to do as women?

Because we as women, we as individuals, whether we're single, are married, we're young ladies or older ladies, We can speak kind words, we can show kindness and speak pleasantness to other people, and yet in our own homes to those nearest and dearest to us, we can be harsh, we can be critical, irritable, sullen, gloomy, and we are not rightly representing what's in our true heart to those in our home.

What we speak on the outside isn't always a true indication of what is really happening on the inside.

And our beauty is vain, but a woman who feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

The word feareth here means that we reverence God, that we are submissive and obedient to Him.

Simply said, it means that we are loyal to God in all things that's what it means to fear the Lord to be loyal to God in all things and isn't that the gospel not my will but thine be done Lord We as women are to fear the Lord to be loyal to God and all that he has given us to do as women This is the standard of true womanhood This is our high calling but we have not understood that and for too long we've been influenced and affected by those around us and we have accepted, many of us have accepted subtly or not so subtly a counterfeit standard and we have lost the true understanding of the women that God would have us to be.

Today, women are measured by how beautiful they are, by the clothes they wear, by the hair color and eye color they may have their skin color their size or shape or even the length of their eyelashes all of these things on the outward is how women are measured and also their intelligence or their aggressiveness to go after some type of work in art in an activity that they are interested in and much of how women feel their love their acceptance their success is measured by these counterfeit standards but God has a higher standard for us to look at.

I remember that I was when we were living where we attended a large church that 1 summer I had volunteered to help with a vacation Bible school and 1 of the women in our church who I looked up to greatly also was involved in the vacation Bible school and I remember coming to the school 1 day and meeting this woman in the hallway and she had a sundress on and it really struck me that she would wear a sundress to a church function it just didn't fit with how I understood her Christian experience to be But it had an influence on me and I didn't even realize it until a few weeks later when the church was having their annual church Sabbath afternoon picnic and When we came home to change our clothes and to get our food and when I opened our closet my closet door to get something else to wear the picnic I saw my sundress in there and I thought I'll wear that to the picnic I mean it's so hot and humid and it's the sun shining so much well this would be very nice to wear and yet I didn't have this little feeling that it really wasn't the right thing to wear but I pushed past it because I had been influenced by someone else rather than by what sayeth my Lord and I chose to wear that sundress to the church picnic.

We don't realize women how much we have been conditioned and changed by a false standard.

Even in the children's storybooks, from when our girls and boys are very young, that conditioning process starts there.

And I know that my girls, when they were little, I liked to read them stories.

In fact, I still like to read stories to them.

But 1 of their favorite stories as young girls was a story of Queen Esther.

And I think a lot of us ladies like that story of Queen Esther.

And I noticed as I read about Queen Esther many times and as I began to be observant of the pictures about Queen Esther as the Lord was Calling to my heart to look to his way to his word and his standards I began to see that the emphasis in the pictures about Queen Esther were developed by man's perception of beauty not by God's perception of beauty.

When you look at a picture of Queen Esther in a child storybook or any book about Queen Esther you will notice that she is made up, jeweled up, and fitted up with clothes to magnify or highlight her shape.

All of these are made to, are presenting Esther as a woman of outward beauty and we know she was a beautiful woman, but that becomes the focus.

And in the minds, and in our minds, it plants a subtle message that our beauty is by how we look and what we wear and the color of our hair and the length of our eyelashes rather than the inward beauty.

And as I went back and read the book of Esther through again in the recent past, I noticed this that Esther was among many women chosen who were beautiful in the Medo-Persian kingdom.

There were many women who were beautiful and they were brought in to have a time alone of purification before they were prepared individually to be presented to the king.

And prior to them coming into the king, as the scriptures tell us in Esther, the second chapter and the thirteenth verse, as they came in 1 by 1 before the King, that each woman could choose her own clothing, whatever she desired, she could choose it.

However she wanted to put on or fix herself up to present herself before the King, she could make those choices.

And now if we look at verse 15 we notice something very interesting now when the turn of Esther was come to go in unto the king she required nothing but what the keeper of the women appointed.

Esther didn't go in trying to find the most beautiful dress, the most beautiful jewels, or the most beautiful makeup, or all these artificial things to put on herself.

She was happy to simply take what was offered her.

And we're told there in the 15th verse that Esther obtained favor in the sight of all of those who looked upon her.

Now, do you think these people in the kingdom were looking at beautiful women on the outward?

Yes, all of these women were beautiful on the outside, but Esther obtained favor, And in verse 17 it says, The king loved Esther above all women.

Why do you think that the king loved her more?

Because Esther understood the standard that God gave as a true woman.

The inward beauty, that's where her heart was.

She was that woman who feared the Lord, who was loyal to God in all things, who was submissive to Him.

And her heart was right, and her demeanor, her countenance, the air, the aura about her bore an influence that was different than the other women.

Yes, but she had a beautiful inside that matched her beauty on the outside and God used that to bless many people and God wants to use us to bless many people.

Those in our own homes, those of our own families, those within our church, those within our neighborhoods, and then reaching on out from there.

So today, let us look at 4 areas of standards that God has given us as women.

These 4 areas I'll be sharing with you today are the 4 areas, or 4 of the areas I should say, that God has specifically addressed in my life through His Word, through the association with other people.

And He's brought these areas to my heart.

And I'm going to just say what each of them are and then we will discuss each 1 individually modesty simplicity humility or meekness and true education these things these are the ways that God wants us to show our inward beauty of him working in us these are the areas that God has brought to me in my life the first 1 I'd like to share with you is the area of modesty now many of you will become defensive when we hear the word modesty because I know from my own experience I have not every 1 of you but many of you will what do you mean modest nobody's going to tell me what I can wear, but I'm not here to tell you what you can wear.

I'm simply here to share principles from God's Word, principles that I have seen make an impact and a change in my life and my heart.

The word modesty here is much more than we understand and what I understood it to mean.

For our scripture text that I would like us to look at is found in 1st Timothy 2 verse 9 and 10.

And all the scriptures that I'll be sharing with you throughout this message are specifically addressing women in the scripture, God's counsel, His call to women particularly his written word to us God loves us and he has a special role for us as women and he he talks directly to us first Timothy 2 9 and 10 In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.

Now here the word modest means more than just modesty as we understand it, it means an orderly apparel and again where some people may have a modest, as we understand the word modest, appropriate covering over our bodies, appropriate clothing that's covering the way it should, they are lacking in orderliness.

And the word here modest means modest and orderly.

God wants us to have our clothes in order.

They're not baggy and ill-fitting, but that they look nice and becoming, and that they represent to those people who see us a God of order, that it recommends our God and our religion to people by how we dress.

This is the area that God wants us to be aware of.

To be adorned in modest apparel with shame facetness now this word here means that we are bashful towards men we have a reserve towards men and a reverence for God shame facetness our thoughts and our focus is on God and not on me and that we're not forward and bold and aggressive toward men but that we have a proper reserve and respect and God wants us to have sobriety soundness of mind that's what that means soundness of mind self control That means we're not controlled by our feelings and emotions, but rather that we make decisions and controlled by principle, by His principle.

We have self-control, clear minds to see this is the way of the Lord and to walk in it this is what God is asking for us in the area of modesty now before I was married again this message I want to emphasize applies to women young and old young ladies and I had an experience before I was married when I was attending college.

I took a class called statistics and during the term of that class about halfway through a young man approached me for help and I asked him why he would choose to come to me to get help in the class and these are the reasons he shared you're different than the other girls in the class.

You dress very modestly and you carry yourself very reservedly.

And he had even trouble explaining that to me.

And he says, I notice that you apply yourself.

I mean, you're on the front row and you're attentive and you're listening and it looks like you understand what's going on.

And I said, well I'm just sitting like that and I'm really applying myself so that I can understand what's going on.

And it opened him up to be interested in God from the influence that I bore as a Christian young lady in that class.

By my modest apparel, by my shame-facedness reserved toward him as a young man, and a devotion to God, the best I understood it at that age.

It was an opportunity that my life could bear an influence to someone else for God.

God has a work for us to do and the calling he's given us is that we represent God to all we come in contact with.

Another experience I had in the area of modesty in my life that was very impactive was after I was married and had children.

My husband and I went to visit a family and after we were there for several days I began to observe that the woman in this home always wore a dress.

I shouldn't say a dress physically but I mean feminine attire.

Maybe it was a nice skirt and a blouse and it was neat and clean and very simple and very practical for the work she had to do.

Why she would do her dishes and make the food and clean the house and do the gardening and play with the children and she didn't seem to be inhibited at all.

But in doing those things with her children and or the activities by the clothes she wore in fact she carried herself very modestly but she enjoyed all those things.

And it made an impression on me and I thought well I always thought I had to you know wear these these jeans that I was attired in to do all those things because it was more modest but I as I observed her it brought something a question in my mind and I said I'm going to ask her why she wears a dress all the time, or why she wears a skirt all the time in the home.

The Inner Woman

I'm happy to be here this afternoon with you and to share a message that's not anything I don't think new to us but it's something that the Lord has continued to bring back to my heart about the real need of my individual experience with him as a Savior.

I've titled the message, The Inner Person because I've come to understand in my experience that God doesn't just want to change us on the outside, he wants to cleanse us on the inside.

When I thought of the theme song that we've been singing at this camp meeting Lord bless our home in the first verse it has these words Families all around us are crumbling every day Why?

Because they're yielding to the enemy aren't they that's what the song says and they're throwing their lives away And that's happening within our own homes today, friends.

Our families are crumbling Because we haven't understood how God can come in and change the inner heart that each of us have.

I'd like us to consider the verse in Genesis the sixth chapter and verse 5 it says, And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually." Here God is telling us the condition of the people's hearts early in our world's existence, right?

And we're told that as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of Man.

That's the condition of our hearts, written right here in Genesis.

That our hearts, the imaginations of our hearts are only evil continually or every day.

Now somehow we don't see how that applies to us.

But the Lord is helping me to see that what that is really saying, if my thoughts are not directed to God, by God, and I'm not making a conscious, being consciously aware of keeping my mind and my thoughts and my desires and my direction on Christ, where will my thoughts naturally turn?

I think of what I want to eat, where I want to go, who I want to be with, what I want to do, and all my thoughts center on myself.

And Christ in his life here on earth was was trying to live in such a way to show us that our thoughts need to be directed to him at all times And the only way that can happen is if there's a change on the inside, in our hearts.

In the Old Testament, it's called, David uses the term, cleanse me, O God, and to cleanse my heart, or search me, O God.

In the New Testament, it's often referred to as the inner man, the inner person, the inner heart.

God wants to work from the inside out, not just changes on the outside.

Let me share with you an experience that we have, and I don't think it's uncommon to any married couple here.

I remember 1 Sabbath, my husband and I were on our way to church.

And as we were driving to church, I don't even remember what came up in the conversation, but all I remember is that he and I got into a debate, an argument, you know what I'm saying?

And I can't remember the issue, but I can remember very clearly arguing back and forth.

We weren't screaming and yelling, but you don't have to scream and yell to argue.

He was focused on his opinions and his self.

And we were driving to church, and we had 2 children in the back with us, that's before Josiah was born, and when we got to church, what kind of people were we?

Well, good morning, I'm so glad to see you, I'm so happy to be here, and we entered the church with these big smiles on our faces.

And I know that that all too often is our experience.

It's a false representation of our true condition.

And we have learned in our humanity how to cover over the unacceptable aspects of self that we don't want other people to know about us.

The 2 children are sitting in the back seat that just heard mother and daddy arguing on the way to church, and when they get to church, mother and daddy are like 2 different people.

And then we wonder why our children don't want or don't understand how to exercise their will to have victory or even want our religion.

We cannot manufacture true peace and true happiness.

If it's not from within, we cannot manufacture it, friends.

And you know the people who probably met us with our smiles on our faces, what they didn't see was the true glow that comes from a heart that's at peace with God and at peace with 1 another.

That was the awe that Christ had about Him.

That even when He entered into the temple and drove out the money changers and the people who were not following his will there, those people who remain sensed in his countenance peace and love, didn't they?

The inner person, that's what God wants to work on us.

Unfortunately, we only view our thoughts are primarily on ourselves.

And if we choose not to think about myself, where do our thoughts generally go next of all?

To anybody and any other situation and how it affects myself You understand what I'm saying?

How somebody responded to me on the telephone call or how they treated me or how I was mistreated my thoughts often I'm not connected with Christ will go to other people and of course the devil is good to be bringing in thoughts of how those people have offended us, that they haven't seen something my way, they haven't done something my way, or they haven't said something the way I would say it.

And so that's where our thoughts naturally go.

And we're told in my character and personality, page 660, this simple formula.

Our thoughts will make our feelings, and I'm not quoting directly, I'm paraphrasing, but I'd like you to read that section on the importance of our thoughts.

Our thoughts generate our feelings and emotions, And our thoughts plus our feelings and emotions bring about our what?

So that's why through scripture we have verses like this, Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.

Because if our thoughts are not right, our feelings and emotions will not be right, and what's going to be the result of our character?

We may look good on the outside to most people, but God sees on the inside of our hearts, doesn't He?

And we're not at peace when we're not yielding ourselves to God in all things.

Our thoughts and our feelings bring about our character.

Ephesians, the third chapter in the 16th and 17th verses, says it this way, God wants to strengthen us with might by His Spirit in the inner man, that he may dwell in our hearts by faith.

And too easily our thoughts are out there about ourselves or other people and not being brought into thinking of, Lord, what would you have me to do?

What would you have me to do what would you have me to say in all circumstances that's why we haven't learned how to discipline our minds we can call it thought reform and the reason this is such a important message in my life is I have seen in too many situations in my experience that my thoughts have led me to a, to in a direction that disconnect me from Christ.

And it's in the littlest things that it happens, like driving to church and whatever it is that comes up in the conversation, immediately self, the thoughts of self and me and my way and my opinions are there.

I'd like to share with you another experience that we've had in our home.

My husband recently wrote a little thank you letter to a family who was kind enough to do some help for us, with us.

He's helping me to keep my sweater on for those of you who can't see what he's doing.

He wrote a thank you note to some friends of ours and he brought it to me and he said, honey, would you like to read this and sign it and then have all the children put their names on it too.

Sign the card and we'll put it in the mail.

And I took the thank you card from him and I had several papers in my hands, and I was in 1 of those times in the day where I had 2 or 3 things in my thoughts at once, and I was thinking about what I needed to do and how I needed to get it done and all of those things, And I picked up that card and I went to do something else and I got totally sidetracked from what he asked me to do.

And an hour or so went by and he said, did you get that card signed?

Now, if we are not willing to have the inner man, our hearts and our thoughts under the control of Christ, what would happen in that situation?

I heard a lot of oh no's because you understand it's in the little things where self finds expression isn't it?

And both of us, praise the Lord, made the choice to let self be controlled by Christ.

Immediately I didn't go into, now are you sure you gave that to me and start making all excuses?

I said, honey, I don't know what I did with the card, but I will look for it.

And I set everything else aside And I looked everywhere I could think that I had been and anything that I had done, and I could not find the card.

Now, I had done, I had allowed Christ to not allow me to make excuses or to try to cast blame or you know maybe you really didn't give it to me or whatever our minds begin to think of that are those thoughts prompted by the our adversary but my husband had a choice to make too didn't he because I'm coming back to him and he's ready to go the mail and I don't have the card and He could have been tempted and I'm sure he was to say oh, well, you know that is wasted 20 minutes of my day But he didn't he said that's alright.

And a little situation that could have turned out to be a disaster, and a disaster from the perspective of letting our natural thoughts rule us, our natural inclinations to flare those thoughts, the flare those emotions was turned into moments of peace and happiness and contentment even in the little trial of the day.

We're told in my character and personality page 347 and 48 this, God leads his people on step by step.

Means 1 thing at a time right through the day step by step through the day he brings them into positions which are calculated to reveal the motives of the heart you mean like getting a thank-you card and signing that are not signing it that is a situation that is calculated to reveal my true heart condition.

Some endure at 1 point but fall off at the next.

You take hold of Christ and you give your thoughts to Him and He subdues those natural emotions, those waves of emotions that want to roll out and begin to justify ourselves.

I Have You in My Heart

I'm happy to see lots of wives here because we're going to be talking about a message for wives.

Actually it's for husbands just as well because any principle in God's Word applies to everyone, doesn't it?

So what we share for wives, you husbands can go home and practice in reverse towards your wives and you will see a tremendous difference.

Well, you know, God in His Word gives us many beautiful and encouraging words.

And do you know there's a special chapter in the Bible that is particularly written for wives and mothers?

I'm assuming by that answer you've read it more than once because you were right with it.

Well that's been a tremendously encouraging chapter to me, a challenging chapter to me.

It's been 1 that has motivated me to become more of the wife that God is calling me to.

It has given me a vision of what God wants me to become as a woman in my home, in relationship to my husband.

And notice what it says here in chapter 31 of Proverbs, verse 10.

Here is the very question that is being asked.

And we think about that as we listen to the words.

For her price is far above rubies." That means it's a woman whose character is so beautiful as it reflects the love of Jesus, that the worth of that individual, in how that individual wife and woman affects others, is far above the most costly gems that man has ever known.

I am not a virtuous woman by nature, And I am learning to be a virtuous woman by the grace of God.

But I have found what helps me to desire that even more is when I spend time in God's Word to read what God wants to make of me.

When we read about creation, when God created the earth, it was wonderful.

But do you know, He still is the creator of all of the universe?

And right now, He wants to create in our hearts as wives, a new character, a virtuous character that will be an example in our home to help to develop and cultivate not just the characters of our children but our husbands also.

That we can have harmony and unity within our homes.

So I've entitled this message, I Have You in My Heart.

And Paul wrote these words about the Philippian people.

Now, if you've ever read through the book of Philippians, it's really good when we read these things not just to do a superficial reading, but to think about what is really being said there.

Because as you read through the book of Philippians that Paul is writing to them, you will find out much about their characters, the kind of people they were, they had some strife among them, they had some other weaknesses of character, there was some backbiting and some other types of things.

As you read through Philippians, he describes the Philippian people.

And not only does he describe them but he calls to their heart and he challenges them for a better way to come to Christ and to experience a happier joyful experience and as Paul is writing to these dear beloved friends of his he says I have you in my heart Now where was Paul when he wrote these words?

If you were laying in prison, wives, you were chained there and things were really hard, Would your heart be going out to your family and to your husband?

Wouldn't our natural inclination to be, woe is me, I'm in bondage, I'm chained, I'm in a dungeon, and I'm poor me.

And wanting everybody to think about us and pray for us.

He's a beautiful example of the power of God's transforming grace, that creative power to change a heart.

Because Remember, he was Saul at first, persecuting and killing God's people.

And God changed his heart, he created anew, and Paul became the Apostle Paul to the Gentiles and to all those who would hear, and he said, I'm a debtor to them.

He loved the Lord with his entire heart, and even though he was in bondage, his thoughts and his heart was with his brethren out there who were struggling in day-to-day life.

That's what God wants to put in our hearts as wives towards our husbands.

Regardless of our situation, sometimes we may feel like we may be in bondage or under hard circumstances that are distressing, but God wants us, in spite of our circumstances, or the challenges of the day, to have in our heart a deep love and respect and appreciation for our spouse, that regardless of our circumstances, they're in our heart.

It means regardless of what they may say or do, they're in our heart.

I couldn't, I was so excited I couldn't hardly wait until the day came.

Come on, men, do you remember that day that you were getting married?

I mean, wasn't there excitement and anticipation?

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Series

Women A High Calling

I Have You in My Heart

Transcript

Description

Parent Series

Sponsor

Parts

The Standard of True Womanhood

1h

The Inner Woman

56m

I Have You in My Heart

56m

The Glory of Man

52m

Keepers at Home

59m

Making Home Happy

57m

Sound Doctrine