Family Communications

Glenn Coon

ABC Prayer Crusade

6 - Spiritually Turned-off Mate

Pastor Kuhn, there have been some questions come in regarding the non-Christian husband or wife, and here's 1.

What do you think a kind Christian like me can do for an alcoholic husband?

He laughs at religion, scoffs at the Bible, and takes the Lord's name in vain continuously.

He has the foulest mouth imaginable, and it almost breaks my heart.

Before we answer, let us ask the Lord to give us proper answers from his word.

Dear Lord, you've said, ask and it shall be given you.

Here are friends of ours who've put in these questions that are sincere.

Thank you for giving us the wisdom to give your answers.

Here's an individual, friends, who has a foul mouth, a non-Christian.

And here's his dear Christian wife, wondering what in this world she can do.

I'm so happy friends that the Lord has given us an answer and it's found in 1st Peter chapter 3 verses 1 to 7.

It's a very a very simple answer and yet it's complicated unless we are able to connect with the Lord and his Loving power it says this it says you wives Be in subjection to your own husbands And it says if you'll do this without arguing at all without any word of preachment But you have a sweet meek and quiet spirit.

It says this is the way to win them this alcoholic man is an alcoholic because he is insecure and as an alcoholic he continues to be insecure he needs to find someone he needs to fix his gaze on someone who is secure without alcohol who is secure without any of the vices in which he's engaging.

And the Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 3 18 that by beholding we are changed in the same image.

Many many Christian people have the impression that the way to win the alcoholic is to belittle him.

That drives him deeper into it or by shaming him so that he'll shape up.

The way to win this alcoholic to the better way of life, this alcoholic profane vile man is for him to see in his Christian mate the Lord Jesus Christ in his meekness, his loveliness, and for the person who put in this question, that this person and others may be amazed that the same scripture going down to the seventh verse says that the lady whose husband is in this situation is to be so nice to him just like Sarah Abraham's wife was to him.

Abraham was a good man but this alcoholic is a profane vile man And it says to use the same method on this wicked man that Sarah used on a good man.

Says she actually almost genuflected to Abraham.

She called him Lord, not sarcastically, called him Lord.

So if this Christian wife will do what the Lord says represent the loveliness the beauty the meekness the sweetness the wholesomeness of Jesus in All probability she'll win him to the Lord.

But with this she'll take a promise from God's Word She'll claim a promise that angels will cluster about this man.

The Holy Spirit will speak to him and that the Lord will bring into his life certain individuals, maybe no relatives of hers.

I'll give you the heathen for your inheritance and God will hear an answer.

No George Muller that great man of faith and prayer Had actually thousands of names of non-christians on his prayer list When he died it is reported that every 1 of those thousands of people had accepted Christ with the exception of 2 individuals and 1 of those 2 accepted Jesus between the time of George Muller's death and his funeral and the other about 2 years later.

This shows the tremendous effect of a winsome, wholesome, godly life, plus claiming the promises of God and angels to do their work.

Well, my wife is as frivolous as they come.

How can I hope to win her to anything serious?

Now there are 2 different philosophies concerning how to win this wife.

Let me tell you 1 philosophy that breaks the law of choice and humility.

A man came to me down in, well I won't tell you where, thousands of miles from here, and he told me of an experience he had on a dance floor.

He said at 20 minutes of 1, 1 dark night, right on the dance floor, he said, I gave my heart to the Lord.

He said, my wife was over on the other side dancing with another partner.

He said, I stalked over to where she was and I said, look, I have just given my heart to Jesus Christ.

By the time that that hand points to 1, I'm going to divorce you.

And he said, when it struck 01:00, my wife had not given her heart to Christ and pastor Coon I divorced her And You know, I almost went into shock Now there he was reporting a missionary visit a missionary visit for whom for Satan Now that's obviously not the right way and this is the extreme but there are many many professed Christians who are trying to win their frivolous mates by pressure.

It must be the pressure of winsome, wholesome, unpressuring, humble love.

My favorite author, when she was just a young girl in her teens, perhaps about 16 or 17 years of age, felt a great burden to win a lot of frivolous young people, and some were married, to the Lord.

She went to them and represented the love of Jesus, they actually saw tears in her eyes, tears of love.

Before she was through, every single 1 of those frivolous people had accepted Jesus Christ.

So we unite with this winsomeness in Christ this intercessory prayer.

In fact he came fairly regularly for several years.

Then a series of Evangelistic meetings was conducted and during an altar call Various church members pressed close to him urging him to give his heart to the Lord and join the church Since then he will not go with me at all He says he was caught once Almost and he does not plan to be embarrassed again.

My friends this is a common occurrence in many Christian churches Just think of it now Here is an altar call and Here is 1 man sitting there and a man goes and speaks to him The result of which is he comes and gives his heart to the Lord Another man sits there and 2 or 3 men go and speak to him.

Now what is the difference between their having spoken to 1 man who gives his heart to the Lord and remains in Christ and another man who is so embarrassed that he never returns?

The 1 man to whom these 2 or 3 men came, 1 of them said to him, an experience that parallels this, 1 man said to him, we love you.

He went home and told his wife, he said, this man told me he loved me as he was trying to get me to go to the altar.

But he said the man had never come to my home.

So how in the world could I assume that he loved me?

I believe he was just looking for another church member.

Now that is why this particular man would never set foot in the church again.

Another man comes to the altar and gives his heart to the Lord.

And the reason he does, the man that came to him had been with him.

He'd shown an interest in him This man knew that the man that invited him to the altar.

He knew that man truly loved him with all his heart He knew that man would not embarrass him for the world There's the difference between 2 different individuals and I think here's another question that's just come in.

Will there be people in heaven that wouldn't have been there if someone hadn't prayed for them?

If so, it seems like we would pray more so more would be saved.

This shows the value of intercessory prayer.

Even the Apostle Paul said brethren pray for me and Jesus said to Peter I have prayed for you that your faith fail not and when you are converted you'll strengthen your brethren Lot and his family Were the objects of Abraham's intercessory prayer.

They were saved because of Abraham's intercessory prayer.

So intercessory prayer is a strong Bible doctrine.

In fact, Elijah on Mount Carmel came to the zenith of his life of intercessory prayer.

He had been praying for Israel those 3 and a half years.

And then as the the events on Carmel concluded and he began to pray for rain, if you, if Any of you who have studied this carefully will learn that Elijah right then as he was praying for rain was interceding for apostate Israel Think of the tremendous effects of Elijah's life Inaccessory prayer is part of God's plan for the conversion of souls Well, I'm so happy that they put this question in.

Might I relate this to to encourage the person who put that question in a little further.

We were holding a series of meetings in a certain city and someone told me that a leading official of that city had given his heart to the Lord and become a member of the church.

And so I thought that I would learn how he was persuaded to do this.

1 day I met him on the outside of the church, he was a very dignified man and I said, Mr.

Blank, could you tell me what persuaded you to unite with the church?

I said, I understand that your wife had been a Christian for many years before you.

And this man was a very quiet man and for a minute I thought he wasn't even listening and finally after a few seconds he just kind of shook his head thoughtfully.

I said would you tell me what did she do?

Did she do something out of place or did she do it in the right way?

5 - Bait The Mate

Pastor Kuhn, I have a problem and I wonder if you could help me.

I've been in the church for 30 years and I've tried to get my husband to come with me to church.

I've talked to him and I've told him and I've told him that he's going to be lost if he doesn't shape up and come with me.

And he just looks at me and I ask him to go to church, he grabs his fishing pole and the way he goes.

And before we find the answers from God's word, shall we ask the Lord to give us this guidance?

Dear Lord in heaven, you've promised in Psalm 25, verse 9, the meek you will guide in judgment, the meek you will teach your way.

So Father, we come asking that your way will be very clear to Mrs.

George and that and to all who are listening to this program wherever they are in this audience and Lord thank you now that we have received a card of your promise in Jesus name amen Mrs.

He instructs us in both of these books, the book of nature and the book of Revelation.

And in Job, the 12th chapter, verse 7, he says, ask now the beasts.

All nature has its lesson as we seek to win others to the Lord.

I might illustrate by a couple little animals in nature that I know.

I'm fairly acquainted, well acquainted, with coons.

And these are 2 little coons that someone gave to my wife and me.

They felt that we needed to enlarge our family.

And so we have been keeping these 2 pet coons and our motor homies we've traveled.

They travel all over the country with us and they're really beautiful companions.

Now there are 7 secrets in winning 1 to Jesus Christ.

Bible secrets, soul winning secrets, family communication secrets, and of all things, these little pets teach us part of these secrets.

I was visiting with someone just the other night and he was telling us how he how he is able to lure the Coons.

He said that several of his friends tried to persuade the little coons to come to them.

And they won't come to anyone except him.

Now, there is a special bait found in 2 special secrets revealed in the Bible.

Jesus, when he lives his joy in our lives, it actually allures people to him.

So these little coons had to be allured to this man.

So he knew the very special alluring bait that they would accept, they would respond to.

They'd come down out of that tree like mad.

And other people would be calling them and trying all the methods they could think of.

And those little coons stayed right up the tree.

But when he came along with a specialized bait, they came scampering down out of that tree and reached their little paws out just like that.

Now, the 2 laws of strong allurement are Jesus and joy.

Hosea chapter 2, verse 14 says, Jesus speaking through his prophet, I will allure.

The way to win a sinner to Jesus is by alluring him.

We allure him in part by being a joyful Christian.

He sees then in us that we are satisfied with Jesus.

So the text for these 2 secrets is Nehemiah 8.10.

The allurement, the thing that will allure, that will bait your husband to the Lord is the joy of Jesus.

The joy of Jesus brings a very sweet harmony, and animals will respond, even animals will respond to harmony.

I know my wife, I know how I made her into Mrs.

Most any animals will respond to to the harmony of joy.

And maybe you think of your husband as almost being a spider The way he took that fishing pole, you can just see him scampering off like a spider would.

He'd just turn his head and out the door he'd go.

So we'll find from the book of nature how to allure even this spider that's gone fishing.

There was a man in in in Boston, Massachusetts.

He was a beautiful musician, 1 of those great, large, expensive organs.

And as he come to a very came to a very sweet measure, he noticed suddenly that a spider, a big lummoxy spider, let himself down by his web, almost within reach of this musician.

And the musician thought, well, I'll give him a swat.

And then as he thought another second, he thought, well, no, let me see what's going to happen.

So he played some fast music and the spider took off.

Then He played some sweet music and the spider came right back again.

And every time he played the sweet music, this big spider would come down until he could see the white of his eyes.

He said, is it possible to allure a spider with harmony?

The joy of Jesus brings a harmony that will allure even a spider.

There was another experience that we heard at Christmas time.

A little boy was under the Christmas tree playing his little organ.

And as he was playing this little organ, his mother noticed out from the wall came Mr.

They came out, sat down, perked up their ears, and listened to that little music, you know, little organ box, music box.

His mother said, son, do you suppose mice like the harmony of music, even mice?

So a few hours later, he sat there by his Christmas tree, started his little music box with a little twinkle, tinkle, tingle.

4 - Unfaithful Mate

Dear Father in heaven, you've promised in Isaiah chapter 42 verse 16 to bring the blind by way that they knew not, to lead us in paths that we've not known, to make darkness light before us, to make crooked things straight, and not to forsake us.

We come asking for the fulfillment of this beautiful promise.

We believe because it's impossible for God to lie.

And since this promise contains the gift that is promised, We thank you that we have received and will realize it as we answer these questions in thy lovely name.

What if you aren't sure your mate is having an affair, you're suspicious.

If you're not sure that the mate is having an affair, and yet you are suspicious, don't give vent to that suspiciousness.

The Bible says in Romans 14, 23, whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

So every time that we speak suspiciously, Suspicion and doubt have a tendency to create the very evil that they seek to prevent.

Therefore, if this individual who wrote this question isn't sure, but has some suspicions based on certain things that they've seen transpiring, then they should immediately put into effect these 7 secrets that we've just shared together, you see.

They should talk faith, because if this mate is now being tempted, the stronger mate that is praying that they will not lose their spouse should talk faith.

Open God's promises and claim God's promises that he will give strength to the spouse.

Talking faith, talking hope, and reflecting love is the most potent remedy that they can bring.

So every 1 of these 7 secrets, Jim, that we discussed, this mate will put into effect when the mate isn't sure about the spouse.

Because if Christ can use these 7 secrets, even after the spouse is infatuated, what can happen before they're fully infatuated, you see.

The thing that will cure will certainly prevent.

So the mate should be very, very careful, very prayerful, saying, oh God, keep me from speaking a word of doubt.

Keep me from the first suspicious remark, you see.

Help me to just be used as this drawing magnet at this time when I'm not sure where I stand and I'm not sure where my mate stands.

Well, continue this question just 1 step further and deal with jealousy.

What if your suspicions are just within yourself and it's what is called jealousy?

There is proper jealousy and there's improper jealousy.

And he said, don't have any other gods before me, I'm a jealous God.

That's not the kind of jealousy that's based on inferiority or lack of security, you see.

So there is a jealousy which has a right to say, you belong to me.

For instance, speaking myself now, I belong to only 1 woman in all the world, and that's Ethel Kuhn.

She has a right to me in a way that no other woman in all the world has a right to me.

Yet, I'm a minister, and in another sense, I belong to the world.

So to properly balance my service to the world, and yet to reserve myself in the way that I should to my wife, she has a right to be jealous for me and of me, because I belong to her.

Therefore, at any point at which my relationship with someone else overlaps my proper relationship with my wife, She has a right to say, honey, I know you didn't mean anything by it.

I know you didn't mean anything by it, but you belong to me.

And then I have no right to say, but honey, listen, you're suspicious.

And the thing that you did with her is not proper as long as you're married to me.

There's another jealousy which really is a form of suspicion.

And any time that I shake hands with any lady, if my wife said, I think I saw you smiling at her in a special way, that's out of place.

Never once in my married life has my wife ever said to me, my, my, my, I saw you smile at that woman.

Never once has she said, look, I think you're a little out of place with that.

And she has a right to claim me as hers in a way no other woman in all the world, and I have no right to retaliate against that proper jealousy.

Okay, the second question is, what are you going to do when she has repeatedly promised she is through but never is?

First of all, let us diagnose human nature.

It is possible for a person to believe that she is through, to really believe it, and yet not be through.

I'm thinking of many individuals who have tried to overcome the tobacco habit.

I've gone to visit them and they've said, Pastor, I am absolutely through with tobacco.

I shall never smoke another cigarette before the day was ended They smoked another cigarette.

They were sincere in believing that they're through because temptation comes like a flood The Bible says when the tempter shall come in like a flood it comes in waves All forms of temptation come in comes in waves Sex infatuation comes in waves Cigarette infatuation comes in waves Temper comes in waves and an individual can be perfectly sincere, believe with all his heart that he's through.

But he's not studied the fact that a temptation can come within 2 hours in a wave.

Therefore, the thing to share with her is to say, I believe every word of it.

But since you're a human being, when the next wave strikes, God says in many places to stay away from any situation where the wave will wash you right in to defeat.

For instance, she says I'm through, she means it.

Don't ever call this man on the telephone.

And when you hear that voice on the telephone and you're ever so sincere, that wave can wash you right to that home.

And you mean the very best, your sincerest can be.

So she will say, I believe in you, I believe in your sincerity, I love you, I believe, or he will tell her that, I love you, but you're a human being as I'm a human being.

So we have to put ourselves outside of the strength of that wave.

That's why he said, lead us not into temptation.

We must stay away from that magnetic field.

As we stay away from the magnetic field, when that gust comes, it doesn't shove us right in the other person's arms.

We must not even talk to them on the telephone.

Do nothing that places us within the power of that wave that washes us right in the other person's arms.

Do you believe a person can or should be responsible for another person?

The Lord said to Cain, Where's your brother?

And the Lord said in effect, yes, you are your brother's keeper.

3 - Be A Magnet

My wife, you see, we've had some some difficulties and I don't quite understand what's going on, but she came to me the other day and told me that she's in love with John wall.

Back to Menu

All Teachings

6 - Spiritually Turned-off Mate

27m

5 - Bait The Mate

27m

4 - Unfaithful Mate

26m

3 - Be A Magnet

27m

2 - Husbands and Wives

27m

1 - Time for a Tune-Up

27m

Trusting God

49m

Make It Plain

48m

In Praise of Gratitude

50m

10 - New Way of Sharing

29m

9 - Delivered in 20 Minutes

27m

8 - My Teenage Daughter

27m

Sound Doctrine